North and South...and West
by Rin
The Big Talk
[reviews]
"That Buffy sure is something, isn't she, Will?" Xander had an eye for Buffy Summers. It was true. He was completely smitten. Willow had noticed this, too...and that made her own infatuation that much worse.
"Oh...she sure is..." They were getting ready for a social at a neighboring plantation. Joyce had invited them, stating that they were just as gentlemanly, if not moreso than the others that would be there. Xander and Willow feared that they would be frowned upon, especially with their lack of a Southern accent. They'd been here two weeks, working their arses off, and had managed to avoid any of the social events, opting to put in extra work instead.
"Why, Willow...you look handsome." Xander appraised his friend. It was the first time he'd called her Willow in years. She truly did look quite handsome. "All those Southern belles are going to fawn over you..."
"Xander...you know I can't..." Willow had always backed away from romantic conversation during her conversations with Buffy.
"Right, you have Harmony...of course..." Xander still continued to tease her.
"It has nothing to do with that outrageous lie, and you know it..." Willow looked at Xander with a pleading expression. "How would I explain that I can't give babies to my wife...or that we could never have relations?"
"I heard some of the soldiers say they made these things...that looked just like a real penis, made out of leather or something...you could get one of those."
"Yeah...but how would I explain why my penis feels like leather, and not flesh...and for that matter, why I never...you know..." Willow couldn't believe she was having this conversation.
"You could always go back to being a girl, I suppose. Find a husband. Even as a man, you're still one of the prettiest girls I know." Xander smiled warmly. He hoped he was helping his dear friend.
"Thanks, Xand...but we both know I can't go back. I'm stuck here now." Willow saw the guilty look on Xander's face. "It was my decision, though...and I'm sticking to it. I don't regret a thing."
"Mr. Will...Mr. Xander...the carriage is waitin'..." Mary called from downstairs. The girls were already there surprisingly, ready to enjoy their evening.
"I guess we should head that way..." They descended the stairs, and one look at Buffy in her frilly dress and curled hair, and Willow was weak-kneed, finding herself falling down the stairs. Buffy chuckled, as she realized Will had fallen because of her. He had been staring at her. That made her all fluttery. Many men had looked at her in that manner but never with such...love.
"Shall we, then?" Joyce led them to the carriage. She knew that Will and Buffy were forming a bond, and it was obvious that the bond was getting stronger and more romantic. She would have to have a serious talk with her oldest daughter. Buffy had no business marrying a farmhand, let alone a Yankee soldier. Joyce hated it...because she had waited so long to see that sparkle in her daughter's eyes, and Will was such a fine, handsome gentleman...but it just wouldn't do.
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Riley Finn was there. That caused Willow's eyes to narrow in anger. She really didn't like that man. He wouldn't leave Buffy alone the entire night. Plus, it didn't help matters that many other men, presumably other suitors, had danced with Buffy that night. Willow found herself drinking more mint juleps than she should've. Her jealousy was driving her crazy.
So crazy that she found herself dancing with many girls, and attempting to drive Buffy mad with jealousy as well. From the glances she'd catch when they were dancing, she could tell it was working. Willow's irrational thinking declared that if she couldn't have Buffy Summers, then nobody could. Of course, that could've been the juleps talking, too.
Xander had even gotten a dance from Buffy, and he was embarassed that he became erect during the dance. Just the thought of Buffy made him erect anymore. He had even embarassed himself at night, taking matters into his own hands...guilt-ridden that it wasn't Cordelia's face that had caused his sudden arousal. He would have to write to Cordelia, and confess his mental infidelity...for he had fallen for Buffy Summers. He would ask Joyce about pursuing her daughter. He had tried to talk about it with Willow before they left but the redhead had decided to have THAT conversation instead. The one he'd been wishing she would confess to him, about her future.
When Willow saw Buffy dancing with Xander, she'd had enough. She needed some air, or she might explode. When Buffy saw Will storm out, she excused herself from Xander, and followed the redhead outside. Following the fuming redhead's path towards the lake, Buffy found herself far away from other guests. This wouldn't be considered ladylike, and she was sure that others noticed, and that she would the talk for awhile. She didn't care though for some reason. Will was upset, and that bothered her. Not to mention she was just as upset...she had accepted the dance with Xander just to get at Will deeper, and it had worked too well.
"Will..." Buffy rushed after him, and he only slowed down once he was barred from going any further from the lake. "Will...wait..."
"Go away, Buffy..." The mint juleps weren't helping Willow's thinking any. She could smell and sense Buffy with much more intensity, and her conscience wasn't in full play.
"Wait...I'm sorry." Buffy caught up with Will, who was just staring out at the moonlit lake with such a tortured expression. "I only wanted to make you jealous, and...hey, it's not like you weren't making me jealous."
"Buffy, I can't..." Willow was beyond upset. She now knew without a doubt that she was in love with Buffy Summers, and it tore at her very soul.
"I couldn't stand it...seeing you dancing with all those other girls, having them fawn over you...and I hate that I had to dance with all those other boys...when the only boy I wanted to dance with all night is you." Buffy was going into uncharted territory. Their mutual admiration was a topic that they had silently agreed to avoid...until now. Buffy couldn't stand it anymore. The one boy she wanted to court her was the one boy that wasn't...
"I can't do this, Buffy." Willow had never been more bothered internally than she was in that moment. She feared she'd say or do something stupid.
"It doesn't matter. I won't dance with any other boy again..." Buffy risked it but she moved closer into Will's personal space, spelling the sweet musk of her brother William's cologne. It somehow didn't fit the redhead as much as the simple, sweet scent of the strawberry soaps.
"I'm not who you think I am."
"It doesn't matter. I don't care." Buffy took another tentative step towards Will, hoping and wishing upon everything that she didn't read him wrong, and that he felt the same way.
"You don't understand, Buffy."
"Then help me understand. What are you hiding? What could be so bad that you can't..."
"I graduated from West Point. I was a lieutenant in the war." Willow waited for the gasp of shock but saw none, just confusion.
"That's a high rank. Why would that bother me? That just means you were important."
"I fought for the North." That was one lie exposed...
"Oh." Buffy took time to digest that. "Well...um...the war is over now, so...that shouldn't matter." But Buffy knew it mattered big time. "Does my mother know?"
"She was the one that said to hide it. Xander and I were both so grateful that we would never argue. We hated fighting anyways. We never wanted to be soldiers."
"That explains why you're out here, and not back home with your sweethearts."
"That's another thing. I'm not engaged to the mayor's daughter. That was just something Xander told your mom to reassure her that I wouldn't be a danger her daughters."
"So...you're not getting married?" Buffy had never been so happy to hear something in her life. That meant Will was free to marry her instead.
"No. I can't get married!" Willow was afraid of this last part. She didn't want to lie to Buffy anymore, though. She couldn't stand it. "I'm not even supposed to be here. I should be doing the same exact thing you were in there doing."
"Making me jealous? You did a good job of that. I'm jealous, see?" Buffy pointed to her 'jealous' face.
"Buffy, it would never..." Willow stopped to catch her breath, as Buffy moved practically against her body, and the moonlight hit her face and hair perfectly...causing Willow to gasp in amazement. "You're so beautiful."
"Will..." Buffy just leaned forward a little, allowing the redhead to capture her lips, as they shared their first kiss. Will's lips were so soft, sweet, and tasted of the mint from the juleps. Buffy kept her lips mere inches apart and her eyes still shut from the tingling sensation in her lips after they pulled slightly apart.
"Wow..." Willow had never kissed anybody before...it was a new experience for her. It was the most amazing feeling she'd ever felt. Buffy took that as initiative, as she leaned forward again, pressing their lips together more fiercely, wantonly this time. Willow wrapped her arms around Buffy's back, and pulled her tighter, relishing in the softness. Buffy ran her hands up Will's chest, and found something there she didn't expect to find. She was startled from the passionate kiss...
"What...um...what..." Buffy was flustered. Were those...breasts? "Will?"
"That's what I tried to tell you...I should be doing what you're in there doing...trying to find a husband." Willow watched, as Buffy was about to bolt. The panic in the blonde's eyes scared her.
"Wh...I...but..." Buffy couldn't wrap her head around it. Will was actually a girl?
"Exactly." Willow stepped back from Buffy but the blonde only followed her. "Xander's father enrolled him at West Point without warning, so I forged myself into the academy as well, knowing that Xander would never survive academically. So...I cut my hair, borrowed some of my brothers' clothes, and dropped the 'ow' from my name. My name is really Willow. I didn't want to lie to you, Buffy. You have to believe me. I've never been more ashamed of it than I am when I'm with you."
"But...this doesn't make sense. How did...all those years...how did nobody find out about...those?" Buffy pointed at Will's chest. "I man...granted, they're not that big but..."
"Hey!" Willow wasn't really offended but it did help to lighten the mood.
"Nobody has ever looked at me the way you do...or kissed me like that before...I don't understand..." Buffy was more than confused. This was...bizarre. Beyond bizarre. "Does mom know about this?"
"Actually...no. Only Xander does."
"I mean...wow...this is so...I mean, I thought I'd be mad, or more upset...but I don't know...it's just..." Buffy couldn't find the words. "I still want you, even after all that. How is that possible?"
"Buffy, you couldn't possibly still...wait, you really wanted to be with me? You weren't just playing with me?" Willow registered one thing at a time.
"I think I want you even more now. It's so...strange...odd...compelling...risky. I mean...you pull it off perfectly...even though I see it now." Buffy was amazed. How could they be so daft? "Here, and I just thought you were the most beautiful man I'd ever met...but it turns out you're not a man at all? I mean...this is so..."
"I can leave, if you'd like."
"NO!!" Buffy hadn't meant to say it that loud, and found herself touching Will's chest again. This time, when she got a handful of boob, she blushed and ducked, though. "Sorry..."
"No, no...um...quite fine..." Willow felt her nipples harden on contact.
"This is so strange but then again, this is Hellmouth plantation. All sorts of weird things happen here." Buffy found herself staring openly at Will's chest. "So...your name is really Willow?"
"Yes. Willow Danielle Rosenberg...but I haven't been that person in 8 years."
"Right...Lt. Rosenberg. I suppose that would've been a moot point." Buffy was still wrapping her head around it. "I think I should sit down."
"Here...there's a bench." Willow guided Buffy to the bench, and both chose to ignore the electric spark that passed between them this time. "Are you okay? Should I call Forrest to get the carriage ready to take you home?"
"No...no I'll be fine. Just...I mean...this is a lot to take in."
"I know. I just...I hate lying to you. I've never met anybody like you before, Buffy. You're amazing and beautiful, and excuse me for saying so but almost impossible."
"Hey!"
"But I love that you're impossible. It's part of what makes you so endearing." Willow accepted Buffy's adoring eyes.
"I know it's weird, Will...but...I still want to marry you. I still want to live my life with you. For some strange reason, that doesn't feel as wrong as I thought it would..." Buffy found herself wanting to know Will on a more intimate level.
"Buffy...even so...I could never court you. I promised your mother."
"Ah, forget her...we can still..."
"Buffy! Come on...focus here. You know this couldn't work."
"Can't I keep on believing that it will, though? I've never wanted to be with anybody before...nobody has ever made me feel the way you do..." Buffy pulled pleading eyes towards Will, and gave the pout. Willow found that she was goner once the pout came into play.
"Me, too..." Willow wrapped her arms around Buffy in a gentle hug. "We should probably go back inside."
"I'm sure I'm already the gossip of the party...for leaving like that." Buffy looked up at Willow's deep green eyes again. "I don't want to move from this spot."
"It is quite magickal..." Willow kept her hand at Buffy's hip, looking deep within her eyes.
"I want you to be mine, Will. I want to be Mrs. Will Rosenberg. I want you to court me. I'll talk to my mother. We can be the only ones that know about the whole you being a girl thing. Nobody else has to know..."
"Buffy, it would never work. People would start to wonder why we never had children."
"I do want children...but I would give that up. I would rather be with you."
"Buffy, it wouldn't..."
"Don't tell me it wouldn't work because I know you don't believe that, either. I'm in love with you, and I know that you're in love with me, so stop trying to deny it, and just tell me already."
"Oh..." Willow was surprised by the outburst, and she wasn't sure if it was the mint juleps making her conscience fly out the door, or what but she did admit it. "I'm in love with you, Buffy Anne Summers, and I would love to marry you."
"No buts..." Buffy hushed Willow before the redhead could babble, as she leaned into her further, and gathered her wits about her before kissing her again. This kiss seemed even better than the last one...