North and South...and West
by Rin
Complete and Whole, Trust and Love
[reviews]
A/N: Okay...warning, this is the most graphic I've ever gotten...let me know if I went too far.
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As soon as they arrived in Washington, Willow and Buffy had the coffin transported to the family cemetery where Daniel was buried. They met with Daniel's cousin Jordy, who insured that he would inform the rest of the family about their plans for a funeral that evening. He doubted many would come, since not many approved of Daniel marrying a Protestant, whereas they all were raised devoutly Catholic.
Willow and Buffy left the coffin at the gravesite, as they went to purchase a new stone for Tara. She was important to them, and if her own husband's family wouldn't acknowledge her death, then they felt compelled to honor their friend's memory and life. If not for their friend, then for their child's birth parents.
Jordy was right, as only he and his wife showed up from Daniel's family. Tara never talked about her own family, so there was no way to track them down in such a short span of time. The other servants from home attended, as they all were fond of Tara. Samuel just slept against Willow's shoulder throughout the entire ceremony. The body was already decomposing, as was obvious from the space between the onlookers and the coffin. The smell was indescribable, the emotions even more. The priest said a few kind words before throwing a small bit of dirt on the coffin, and blessing Tara's body. She wasn't Catholic but it was on a Catholic burial site, and they wanted to honor Daniel, as well. Tara would've liked that.
When the ceremony was over, Willow scooped a small bit of dirt, and placed it in Samuel's tiny hand. Even though he was sleeping, the dirt fell onto the coffin as he moved his hand to discern the foreign object in his hand. Buffy eyed the redhead with curiosity before moving along the short line of family and friends.
Making their way home, the family stayed quiet most of the carriage ride, only making small coughs and a cute little sneeze from Samuel. Willow would need to inform Grant that she was back early, and arrange to get back to work. She was sure there was much to be done, and it would give her a kind of peace of mind. It would give her serenity from recent events.
They put Samuel to bed around 9, and decided to get ready for bed themselves. They would sift through the mail, and unpack tomorrow before bidding the Grants a visit. Willow stripped down to her undershirt and long johns before climbing into bed. Buffy was brushing her hair in front of the vanity, and normally, the redhead would help the blonde but tonight, she was uncharacteristically quiet. It was unusual for the blonde not to hear Willow's voice, or feel her hands touching her. However, she understood that it would take time to get over this, and she just had to be patient with the redhead. There was no need to get upset at their disruption in routine, not yet anyways.
"I checked with Mrs. Calendar, and she says Constance has become pregnant." Buffy finished brushing her hair, and looked in the mirror at the redhead. "She'll need to leave us soon. We'll have to hire someone else."
"Guess we can't stop losing people." Willow closed her eyes. She didn't mean to sound so bitter. "I'm sorry. I...I just..."
"I know, Willow. Tara was a dear friend. We'll all miss her." Buffy took her brush with her over to the bed, as she gripped the redhead's hand. Noticing the sad smile on her husband's face, Buffy couldn't help a smile of her own. "What's with the smileys?"
"It's just...we've been together for almost a year, and you've never called me by my real name." Willow had unshed tears in her eyes again.
"I'm sorry. It slipped." Buffy's shoulders fell, even though she was relieved they were alone when she goofed.
"I...It's okay. I liked it. The way you say my name. It helps me remember that I'm still me." Willow kissed Buffy's cheek lightly before staring at their clasped hands.
"Well...Willow..." Buffy scooted around a little, and unclasped their hands before running the brush through the redhead's hair. "We should think about getting' you a cut soon. Your hair grows so fast."
"I killed a man, Buffy. In cold blood...just...shot him." Willow's tears spilled over, as she just stared at the wall ahead of her. Buffy stopped brushing the dirty, sweat-slicked locks, and just wrapped the redhead in her arms. Willow always was unpredictable. When it came to when she'd open up, nothing was different.
"You protected your family. William and Forrest both said Warren was shootin' at you. It was Warren that killed Tara. You didn't kill him in cold blood. You acted in self-defense. If I knew how to shoot a gun, and I saw him shootin' at you, or Samuel, or anybody in my family, I wouldn't have hesitated a moment." Buffy cupped the redhead's cheek, and eased Willow's face towards her. "You did the right thing, and I know this sounds cold but better him than you any day. I couldn't bear it if I lost you."
"Oh, Buffy." Willow just clung to the blonde, and placed urgent kisses along the blonde's exposed neck.
"Will, you're my world, and I've never been happier than I am with you. I saw what it did to Dawn when she found out Connor was killed. I'll do whatever it takes to keep you." Buffy clutched tightly to the redhead, and took a deep breath. "Let's get some sleep. We have a lot to do tomorrow, and I know Samuel will be up in a couple hours. We'll talk more tomorrow about what's next."
"Okay." Willow loosened her grip before extinguishing the oil lamp. The couple slid into the covers, and wrapped tight around the other. For the first time since the incident, Willow slept without seeing blood.
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The next week had the family back on a schedule. Willow went to work, came home; they ate supper, played with Samuel, and spent time together before going to sleep. They talked about everything that had happened on the trips, recounting some of their more humorous moments. Willow finally relaxed, and seemed calm again, and Julia Grant visited frequently (as well as some of the other wives) to check on Buffy, and get a glimpse of the new baby. Of course, Sam joked that they'd name their firstborn after him but Willow just asked him for a 'H.U.G. (Hiram Ulysses Grant),' and he never mentioned it again.
Buffy was in the process of hiring a new maid/nanny. Mrs. Calendar (the house manager) was with her, and they were currently with a young lady that the older lady had worked with previously.
"Amy, Mrs. Calendar says you're very good with children." Buffy looked at the young woman, and couldn't decide what her gut feeling was. The woman certainly had the credentials, and came highly recommended from Calendar.
"Oh, Jenny here is too kind." Amy sent a warm smile towards the older lady. "I have had several years of experience with them, as I have three of my own at home."
"You wouldn't mind workin' with them, then?" Buffy offered the woman some tea. The other applicants hadn't wanted to work with children. They were all used to tending house for older couples, whose children were fully grown.
"Oh, no, Mrs. Rosenberg. I love children." Amy's eyes lit up with mischief. "Plus, my three are all girls, so it'll be refreshing to work with a little boy."
"Right, well...the doctor won't let me breastfeed, so I have to feed Samuel this new formula we're havin' imported. Think you can manage the stock on that? I'm not that good with keepin' books. I leave that to my husband." Buffy blushed. The thoughts of Willow's parting words this morning sent a warm tingle throughout her entire body. 'We'll talk about those presents tonight.' Buffy couldn't shake her arousal. "He's far too busy to worry about silly things like that, though, and I don't want to add more for Mrs. Calendar to do, so I was hopin' you'd be willin'..."
"Of course, Mrs. Rosenberg. I would love to watch him." Amy looked over at Samuel lying on his stomach on a soft floormat, kicking and pawing at the air in excitement. "He's quite handsome, and very playful. I imagine we'll get along just fine."
"Just one more thing." Buffy took a deep breath. "Mrs. Calendar and Vincenzo, our butler, are the only two on staff that actually live in the house. We don't like to overwork them, though. I'm assumin' you'll wanna stay livin' with your family. I know your main job description would be maid but we may need a nanny from time to time."
"Of course. Mrs. Calendar has informed me that your husband is a man of importance, and there are balls and socials that you'll need to attend some evenings. I can either arrange my husband to watch our children, or we can arrange something where I can bring them with me. Our oldest is ten, and our youngest is five, so they're at that age where they like to read. We want them to have an education, since neither of us had one." Amy sipped at her tea before averting her eyes in embarrassment. "I realize it could be a hassle but they're really not a bother, if it should come down to it. Sometimes, my husband comes home, tired from the mines, and doesn't wanna fool with the girls."
"We'll cross that bridge when we get there." Buffy blushed again, as she recalled Willow saying those same things to her. "If it's all right with you, we'd like you to start next Monday. That should give ya sufficient time to get things settled with your family."
"Thank ya, Mrs. Rosenberg. You won't be disappointed." Amy stood, and shook the blonde's hand. Buffy watched, as Mrs. Calendar ushered the young woman to the door. "How old is she again?"
"About your age, miss." Mrs. Calendar went back to the kitchen to see about getting supper started. Vincenzo was down the hallway, dusting the picture frames. Buffy just stared out the window, and finished what was left of her cooling tea.
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Dinner was calm and exciting all the same. Willow recounted her tales of how Grant finally broke with Johnson, and how he had revered his newfound fame with the Radical Republicans. The redhead was so cute when she'd get all flushed while telling about something she was passionate about. Buffy couldn't help but stare at her husband with dreamy eyes. The redhead had gotten that haircut today, too, so those gorgeous red locks weren't swaying close to her shoulder anymore. Now, they would fly into her eyes, and it was cute to watch her constantly pushing them away.
Buffy informed Willow that their new staff would start Monday, and not to be alarmed when a new body showed up in the house. With Amy's hours, and the fact that she would remain at her own home, Buffy predicted that Willow would hardly see the new girl. She would leave for work before Amy arrived, and get home after the woman left for the day.
Now, Buffy was rocking Samuel to sleep in their room, as Willow finished her bath in the corner. Vincenzo had made the water extra hot this time, and it soothed the redhead's aches and the tightness in her muscles. Buffy looked over to see a content, happy smile on her husband's face, as he relaxed in the water. When Samuel was finally asleep, Buffy moved him into the bassinet before tucking him in, and kissing his forehead. Willow stepped out of the tub, and draining the water into the wooden pipes. The redhead grabbed a towel, and dried herself off, knowing full well her wife was staring at her. A slight smirk crossed her features, as she moved to the vanity to comb the tangles from her hair. Instead of wrapping the towel around herself, she chose to stay nude in the room, despite the growing cold. That only added to the stiffness in her nipples, and she could feel the blonde's eyes following her every move.
Turning around, she saw Buffy sitting on the bed, staring with lust in her eyes. It had been over four months since they'd last made love. Plus, it had been a month since Samuel was born, so it should be okay with the 'doctor.' Willow could feel her own mouth water at the thought of seeing Buffy's body again, feeling its soft curves beneath her fingertips, beneath her lips. Feeling that familiar wetness in her hands and mouth.
"So...are you gonna stand there and tease me all night, or are ya gonna come here?" Buffy sent that sexy smirk towards Willow, who rushed over to the bed, pouncing on the blonde, knocking her back. "My, my...aren't you feisty tonight."
"Well...I've thought about this for months..." Willow's blush extended down to her chest, as she straddled the blonde's hips.
"Thought about what?" Buffy couldn't hold in her gasp, as Willow leant over, and gave her a smoldering kiss. "Oh...yeah...that."
"Yeah, that." Willow stood from the bed, and smirked at Buffy's pout. She took the blonde's hand, and pulled her up to remove her sleeping gown. "We have to be on even playing grounds here."
"That would be nice." Buffy ran her hands all along Willow's neck and arms, making sure to pay particular attention to that sensitive spot behind the redhead's ears. Willow went about dropping the blonde's gown to the floor before picking her up, and wrapping Buffy's legs around her. She carried them to the bed, and fell on top of Buffy again. This time when they fell, their nipples crushed together.
Willow immediately went to kissing her way from Buffy's neck to her mouth, where the kisses were full of passion and built-up need. Somehow, Buffy had miraculously grown quiet during lovemaking, which only concerned Willow for a moment until she realized it wouldn't be wise to wake the baby. Natural instincts had kicked in for both of them. Their first orgasms came quick, and they both just gripped each other, breathing it out, relaxed and content.
"I know this is...well, it's weird...but...we could, ya know..." Willow swallowed hard. This was embarrassing but she wanted to give Buffy everything. "Well, Anya and Xander's gift. It...it couldn't be all that bad, and I can...ya know...and...ya know."
"If you're not comfortable with it, it's not a big deal, Wills." Buffy leaned up from her comfortable spot on Willow's shoulder, and kissed her sweetly. "It's ironic, I know. Here we are, livin' this big lie, and we'd be usin' the one thing that separates the lie from the truth. Well, somethin' similar to it anyways."
"I know...but...I want to give you everything, and...and what if Anya was right, and p-penetration is stimulating. You're missing out on..." Willow was hushed by another sweet kiss.
"You're more than enough. What we do already is more than enough. If you're not comfortable, then that's it. We won't use it." Buffy held Willow's loving gaze before the redhead nodded. It would be awkward but she wanted to give this to the blonde. Standing from her spot, she moved over, and removed the two packages from hidden compartment in the drawer. She took the brown paper from the unwrapped package, and opened the box, ignoring the graphic drawings and notes Anya had included on how to assemble, and use the products together. Buffy sat up, a worried expression on her face.
"You don't have to do this." Just thinking of Willow doing something like this for her was making Buffy wetter. It showed complete trust, and a willingness to overcome any obstacle in their relationship. That was all she needed, as she watched the redhead fumble in placing the harness around her waist and legs. All Buffy could see was her husband's back, and she knew Willow was embarrassed completely but still, the redhead moved forward, and attached the other package to the one she was wearing. When the redhead turned around, Buffy could see Willow's worried, shy expression. Then, her eyes fell down to the thing protruding from her body. "Come here, baby."
"I...I want to make you happy." Willow came over, and sat down on the bed. It was as though she was naked in front of Buffy for the first time.
"You already do. Just knowing that you'd be willin' to do somethin' so silly to please me makes me happy. I don't love you any less because you don't have...um...these parts." Buffy looked down at the member again. It smelled like her leather gloves, and she reached out to touch it. When she did, Willow shifted backwards with a little grunt. Looking over, Buffy noticed that the thing must be rubbing against the redhead's areas, and she was still sensitive from earlier.
"I want to make love to you. I want to please you in every way possible." Willow swallowed hard again, as Buffy just started rubbing up her thigh, and around the added weight to her thighs and pelvis.
"You already do." Buffy leaned over, and let the covers fall from her form, as she kissed the redhead, keeping Willow's head in place.
"I want to do this for you...please?" Willow sent pleading eyes between gentle kisses. Knowing that Buffy didn't actually NEED this to be happy with her made her want to do it more. It was strange logic but the redhead felt her entire body flush with more arousal, as Buffy sucked on her lower lip.
No more words were said, as they made their way under the covers again, and Willow leaned over Buffy. Before inserting the member into her beloved, the redhead stared down at the blonde, making sure that this was okay. Buffy's expression sent only that of euphoria, of contentedness, of complete trust and love. Nodding for no reason, Willow eased herself gently into Buffy. When she saw the blonde wince, she stopped immediately, and panicked a bit.
"It's okay. I'm okay...just...it's bigger than your slim fingers. It'll take some gettin' used to, that's all." Buffy cupped Willow's cheek in her hand, as she smoothed her other hand down the redhead's back, urging her forward. "Just...go slow for now, okay?"
"Okay...are you sure?" Willow was still unconvinced. Was this hurting Buffy?
"I'm positive." Buffy ran her thumb gently along Willow's cheek before leaning up and kissing her softly. Then, she placed both hands along Willow's back, and urged her forward again. The redhead obeyed, and slowly eased further into Buffy. Carefully watching the blonde's face for reactions, she managed to reach further into Buffy's body than her small fingers would allow. It consumed her entire being, knowing that she was going further than anybody had ever been, taking more of Buffy with her every centimeter she pushed forward.
They started a slow rhythm, and Buffy's facial expressions started to relax, and her hips seemed to meet the redhead's movements thrust for slow thrust. When Buffy started to pant heavily, and her eyes started to roll back in her head, Willow took that as a good sign. The blonde's hands began to urge the redhead's movements to quicken, and Willow again obeyed. Feeling strange not touching Buffy with her hands, the redhead moved a hand down to play with that one familiar spot. As soon as her fingers came into contact with that bundle of nerves, Willow felt Buffy's fingernails dig into her back, and urge her further. The blonde surprised Willow, as she leaned up to place a hot, smoldering kiss on her lips.
The squeaks from the bed were louder than usual, and the thrusting became more hurried. Buffy placed her head in Willow's neck, and almost bit down to keep from screaming her passion. It was painful at first but it started to dampen as Willow continued to thrust. The more thrusts, the easier it was, and soon Buffy found herself in a fit of passion. The redhead was further in her than ever, and went straight to the core. This wasn't anything like the sweet, passionate love they used to make. This was more carnal, more connection than anything. When Buffy felt her release, her entire body trembled, as Willow slowed down again, and eventually stopped, pulling out completely, and holding Buffy's shaking form. When the blonde caught her breath, tears started to fall from her eyes.
"Are you okay?" Willow felt the wetness and stickiness from the member falling onto her thighs, as she went to undo the harness. She wanted to get closer to Buffy, envelop her entire body into hers, and it was hard to do with something poking at her.
"B-better than." Buffy's eyes rolled back in her head again, as she started to come down from her high. She was a little sore but overall, it was well worth it. Not just the act itself but the emotions and trust it represented. "You're amazin'. I love you so much."
"Did it hurt that bad? I didn't hurt you, did I? You're crying." Willow tossed the harness with the thing still attached on the floor, and ignored the quiet thud, as she pulled Buffy closer to her, molding their bodies together. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. That was...I can't believe we just...and it was...and I...oh, Willow." Buffy rolled over, still numb but with enough strength to throw everything into their kiss, conveying everything she couldn't put into words. "Thank you...for lovin' me so much."
"I didn't hurt you?" Willow was still worried. Sure, they'd cried before after making love but never like this. Still, the redhead could sense it, something that wasn't there before...or WAS there but was stronger now.
"No...you made me feel...complete." Buffy rolled on top of Willow, and held her face in her hands. "And it wasn't because of that thing...but because it was you."
"Oh, Buffy." Willow pulled the blonde into her again, and wrapped her arms completely around the blonde's sweaty body. Neither said another word, and just lie there in each other's arms, content and satiated. When Samuel woke hours later, they were still just lying together, neither asleep but just feeling the other's heartbeat and breathing. Willow cleaned and hid their new 'toy,' while Buffy tended to Samuel. When the baby was asleep again, they immediately fell back into the same position they were in before, only this time with covers, and sleep claiming them.