North and South...and West
by Rin
Mothers and Sons
[reviews]
A/N: I had to go back, and reread it again...but I finally got an update!!
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Dawn was depressed. That's the only way she could describe her emotions. Sure, the pain was excruciating when the baby was born but when she saw the baby, no spark of emotion came upon her. She felt like she was broken all over again. She couldn't even love her own baby. Instead, she just stayed in bed all day, barely ate anything, hardly bathed, and couldn't seem to stop staring at the ceiling.
"Brought you some lunch, thought you might be able to eat somethin' today." Buffy was worried about her sister. These past two weeks since the baby had been born, Dawn had almost nothing to do with it. They already had their hands full with Samuel still being a baby, and now they had a newborn to help. Even though it was harder than originally thought, the couple didn't complain much about their little nephew. He cried a lot more than Samuel, so they weren't used to that, and poor Samuel seemed sad at the loss of attention from his parents. He always had this cute little pout that reminded Buffy of Willow somewhat when she would pout. It was hard to imagine this baby not being theirs biologically when he did something like that.
When Buffy laid the tray of food and water on the table, Dawn didn't move. She just continued to stare at the wall. There was a small sigh but that was all the movement the blonde could get from her sister.
"You need to eat, Dawnie. Just a little bit?" Buffy sat down on the bed beside the brunette, and rubbed her upper arm. "We're worried. We want to help but you've got to let us help you."
Still nothing.
"Would you like us to send for the doctor again?" Buffy took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Would you at least like to give him a name?"
Dawn closed her eyes, and willed herself to move, to say something, anything. She looked at Buffy, and was on the verge of tears. She didn't know what was wrong with her. She didn't understand what was happening, why she didn't love her baby, why she couldn't force herself to move.
"I'm gonna have Will call the doctor, and get him over here tomorrow, okay? Somethin's wrong, and we wanna make sure you're okay." Buffy leaned over to kiss her sister's forehead. "I'll come back later, and bring your son. I can help get you cleaned up, while you get acquainted better."
Dawn didn't nod or shake her head. It was as though she were completely numb.
"I need to help Will with the boys. I'll come back in a few, okay?" Buffy still received no response, and she wanted to smack her sister into action. It was the only thing they hadn't tried so far.
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"Can you hand me that towel?" Buffy was helping Dawn take a bath. The younger girl seemingly had no energy or strength to do it on her own, and she was starting to smell.
"I'm sorry." Dawn barely spoke the entire wash, except to say those two words.
"It's okay. It's not your fault. We're gettin' you help, sweetie." Buffy rubbed the cloth along her sister's back. This was so much different than when she'd help their mother when they were younger. "Have you thought of a name for him? 'Little baby' can only get you so far. Maybe if he had a name, he wouldn't cry as much. He's definitely your child."
Dawn just looked at Buffy with sad eyes. At least it was something. Buffy finished washing Dawn, and helped her dress in a fresh night smock before combing her hair.
"Ya know, Will loves to comb my hair for some reason." Buffy made sure to get the wet tangles loose.
"I think he likes any excuse to touch you." Dawn took a deep breath, and couldn't believe her neutral tone. She couldn't even tease her sister.
"He has soft hair, too. I hope Samuel's red hair will stay soft as he gets older. Some girl will love that." Buffy looked over at the newborn baby in the basket. "No names at all?"
"Rupert James, I guess." Dawn started to miss her real father. Before the Riley Finn incident, they had started to form a father/daughter relationship, deeper than the one they already knew.
"You're really gonna name him after Dr. Giles?" Buffy tried not to laugh, since she didn't want to make Dawn any worse. "I mean...Rupert is a fine name. We can call him RJ for short."
"Can I hold him?" Dawn was afraid but she wanted to desperately to feel that motherly instinct. She wanted to feel something, anything. Maybe if she forced herself.
"Of course. You never have to ask to hold your own son." Buffy went to pick him up from the basket, and handed him gently to her sister. "There ya go, baby Giles."
"RJ." Dawn just stared at her baby, her son. He was beautiful, much different than what she remembered upon the last time she held him. He definitely had a Summers nose, and she'd heard him cry. He'd fit right in with the family, except for maybe Samuel, who was way too quiet to be a baby.
"Want me to go?" Buffy was scared to leave her sister alone with the baby. She'd been unstable these last two weeks, and this was the first contact she'd had with the baby since after he was born.
"Stay? I...I don't wanna hurt him." Dawn really meant it. An emotion...something she could grasp onto, to give her a little hope. Looking down at RJ, the corners of her tight lips swelled a little in a twisted tight-lipped smirk. At least it was something.
"Of course." Buffy wondered how Will was doing downstairs with Samuel. The redhead promised to watch over their son, while she tended to her sister. They didn't want to bother Ms. Calendar, and Amy took off early to tend to her own ill children.
Buffy sat down next to her baby sister, and couldn't help but realize that she wasn't so little anymore. Not with a tiny bundle of her own in her hands. When did her little sister get so big?
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"This is...quite a shock." Sam Grant looked down to see his right hand man carrying a baby basket with a baby in it! "Is everything alright?"
"Everything's fine. Buffy is just helping her sister get acquainted to her own son, Ms. Calendar is in Ohio visiting relatives, and our housekeeper just had one of her own little girls pass away. I had no option but to bring Samuel along with me to work today. He's really usually quiet, so he shouldn't be a bother." Willow laid the basket on the desk, and uncovered the blanket from the sleeping baby's head. It was cold outside, and she was going to take no chances, especially since Amy's youngest just died from pneumonia. "If it's a problem, I can..."
"Nonsense. It'll be good to have children in this house again. I just hope we don't upset him too much when we get busy." Sam was really gunning his campaign, as elections were drawing closer. Two weeks left, and they'd know.
"I brought some things to keep him busy. He's a good baby." Willow laid aside her briefcase, and pulled out some files. "These are the polls from yesterday. You're still ahead but we don't want to take any chances."
"I still wish you'd reconsider my offer." Sam wanted Will to be his presidential assistant, help write his speeches, help him behind the scenes, keep him on track. Yet every time he offered, the young man would decline. It was an offer anybody would want, and this young man had denied him three times.
"I'm just not cut out for the political side of things. I'm more of a problem-solver." Willow wasn't sure what she'd do if Sam was elected president. She'd have to find another position if she wanted to stay in Washington, and help support her family.
"I'm sure you have good reasons but I still say you're a fool." Sam sighed before returning to work.
"That's exactly why I can't accept such a high profile position, General." Willow wanted it, with every breath she wanted it but she knew that her name, her face would make the weeklies, and eventually, all hell would break loose. Mommy Dearest or one of her brothers would recognize her. There was no doubt in her mind. For now, she would just remain in low profile positions, and never in a spot of leadership.
"When you do decide to make that leap, I'll be more than happy to give a good word for you. You're the best man I've ever known but you're right. You're a little too honest for politics, and that's what makes you a good man." If only Sam knew the irony behind that statement. "I wouldn't want politics to turn you into something rotten. You're one of the last few good men this country has, and the reason why I agreed to run in this election."
"Thank you, Sir." Willow couldn't hide her blush. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. "We should get some work in while Samuel's asleep. He should be out for another hour, so that'll give us time to concentrate before the news people arrive."
There was no doubt in the redhead's mind that Ulysses S. Grant would be the next President of the United States, and that she would be out of a job. There would be other job offers and military assignments. She just wasn't sure if she wanted to continue working military, or go more towards the law aspect. There was enough money saved to afford a comfortable living for her family, and pay her way through law school. Was it what she really wanted, though? Maybe she'd just give it all up, and be a shopkeeper like Xander. She could be a florist. The only thing she did know: she needed to make a decision, and soon.