Hurt
by Bwriter
[reviews]
Author - Bwriter
Title - Hurt
Summary - Takes place during Lessons when Willow is in England. The song is by Jonny Cash and is called Hurt
Willow was sitting under the old oak tree, watching as the wind swayed the branches.
England was nothing, if not windy.
Picking up her mp3 player, she flicked through the songs, before one caught her eye.
Sitting back, she let the soothing tones of Jonny Cash flow through her.
I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real
How many times had Willow thought about doing that to herself? Too many to count. The only thing that was stopping her, was the look she remembered seeing on Buffy's face when Dawn had done it.
The needle tears a hole
The old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away
But I remember everything
God did she wish she could forget, forget the look on their faces as she tore the skin from Warren, forget the look on Buffy's face.
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
Some mornings, she couldn't even look at herself in the mirror. All she saw staring back at her, was the woman she had become, the person who hurt her friends, her hurt the girl she loved.
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
And she did. She had hurt Dawn, Xander, Anya, Giles, Tara - though that was a while ago, and she had hurt Buffy. Her best friend. Her hero. The woman she was in love with. All because of the magic.
I wear this crown of thorns
Upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts
I cannot repair
Why hadn't she taken Buffy's advice and stopped altogether? Things would be so different now. She would still have her friends. She would still have Buffy.
Beneath the stains of time
The feelings disappear
You are someone else
I am still right here
Would things ever go back to the way they were? Willow hoped so. Even if Buffy never knew how she really felt, Willow needed the Slayer in her life.
What have I become
My sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away
In the end
And you could have it all
My empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt
If I could start again
A million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way
And she would. If she could do it over, she would be careful, she would let Giles instruct her on magic, and not go off all Willy Nilly.
She would be the Willow she wanted to be, the one that Buffy had befriended all those years ago.
She would be that Willow again.
If she had to claw her way back, she would.
Because that Willow had her friends.
That Willow had Buffy.
End