Getting Ahead of Myself
by sailor80
Nine
[reviews]
Buffy woke a little before noon. The house was empty, and Willow was splayed across her. Buffy stretched as much as she was able without disturbing Willow. She pulled the redhead closer, and let her hands move gently against Willow's back and side. One stayed in Willow's hair, moving easily through the soft strands.
Buffy smiled as Willow began to wake up. She waited patiently for Willow's eyes to open.
"What time's it?" Willow asked sleepily.
"Noonish."
"We should get up."
"Don't wanna," Buffy pouted.
"Got something on your mind?"
"Just you." Buffy waited for Willow to look at her. When she did, Buffy kissed her gently.
"Mmmm, nice," Willow murmured.
"Nobody's home," Buffy said.
"Good." Willow shifted to lie atop Buffy.
Buffy moved to accommodate her. "Will?"
"Hmm?" Willow's finger drifted around the collar of Buffy's shirt.
"I love you."
"I love you, too." Willow sat up, astride her girlfriend. "I'm sorry I was a jerk this morning."
"It's all right."
"I was serious, though, Buffy. You have to be careful."
"I am careful." Buffy sat up and wrapped her arms around Willow. "And I have to tell you something."
Willow pulled back. She rested her hands on Buffy's shoulders. "What?"
"I should have told you before, but I didn't want you to wig."
"Wigging now," Willow said pointedly.
"Don't." Buffy cupped Willow's face in her hands and kissed her gently. "It's a good thing."
"So spill, Slayer girl."
"I had a dream, a Slayer dream." Buffy smiled at the memory of it. "About us. The night before we, uh, became us."
"And?" Willow prompted.
"I saw us. All three of us. You and me and her. And then I had another one, um, later. It wasn't so nice, except that we were there again, our family, our daughter."
"Why didn't you tell me?" Willow asked softly. She rested her forehead against Buffy's.
"I just," Buffy stopped for a moment. "I don't know."
"Buff," Willow chided.
"I thought it meant we had time. A lot of time."
"And now you think we don't," Willow said flatly. She withdrew, and Buffy's hands fell to her shoulders.
"No. Yes. No. That's not what I meant."
Willow looked toward the window. It was another lovely day, and completely at odds with the uneasiness brought on by their conversation. When Buffy didn't say anything more, Willow moved to get out of bed.
"Will, I'm sorry." Buffy scrambled to follow the redhead.
Willow stopped in the doorway and turned back to face Buffy, who skidded to a stop in front of her. "When you decide what's important, let me know."
"Willow," Buffy pleaded, and reached for her.
Willow stepped back, out of Buffy's reach, before turning toward the stairs. Buffy listened to Willow's bare feet on the steps, and cursed her inability to communicate to Willow the joy she felt at both her dream and its reality. She heard the back door open, and decided to leave Willow alone for the time being. Instead of moping, Buffy decided to do something constructive, and started with straightening their room. She moved to the bathroom, cleaned it, and gathered all the laundry she could find. She glanced out the back door on her way to the basement, and saw Willow sitting crosslegged on the ground in the shade.
After she started the laundry, Buffy returned to the kitchen. She found lemonade in the refrigerator and poured two glasses. Buffy carried them outside. She sat on her knees across from Willow and silently offered one of the glasses. Willow took it and set it aside.
"I'm so bad at saying the important things," Buffy began. "I want a lifetime with you, Willow. Not a Slayer's lifetime, a regular one, where we get gray hair and have grandchildren to spoil. I will do everything in my power to make that happen, but I can't stop being the Slayer anymore than I can stop loving you." She looked at Willow, but couldn't read her face. "Please, say something," Buffy implored.
"She moved."
Buffy's face scrunched up in confusion. "What?"
"The baby. I felt her move."
"Really? Can I feel?"
"On one condition."
Buffy waited for Willow to speak her piece. She knew she would agree to virtually anything Willow asked.
"You have to stop keeping things from me. Good things, bad things, whatever. Stop trying to protect me from things we can't control. It's not fair to me, to us, all of us." Willow swirled her hand between them. "You just have to let some things play out without you. The whole world isn't your responsibility. We are. We have to be, or we need to stop now."
"Okay." Buffy tentatively moved her hand toward Willow.
Willow took it and pulled it close. She kissed Buffy's palm before pressing it against her abdomen. They were still sitting like that when Tara and Faith returned with the Jeep loaded with things from Xander's list. The sun, although still bright, had shifted several degrees.
After she deposited the first load of lumber in the basement, Faith called out the back door, "Yo, a little help would be nice."
Her voice startled both women, and Buffy waved noncommittally toward the house with her free hand, but maintained eye contact with Willow while keeping the other hand on the redhead's belly.
After another trip, it was obvious to Faith that she and Tara would be unloading the vehicle alone. Buffy and Willow hadn't moved, and were floating just above the ground. When the Jeep was empty, Faith started for the back yard, but Tara stopped her.
Nearly half an hour later, Buffy and Willow passed through the kitchen without saying anything to the other couple. They went upstairs, and a few minutes later came back down and went out the front door. They both wanted more quiet time alone, and knew it wouldn't be available at the house any time soon. Holding hands, they headed for the park. They sat under an old oak tree, rumored to be the oldest in Sunnydale, and Willow leaned back against Buffy, who held her loosely against her front while resting against the tree trunk. Buffy's hands stayed on Willow's stomach, and in their stillness, she felt their daughter move. They didn't talk, but occasionally exchanged kisses.
When the sun hit the tree line, Buffy said, "We need to go home now."
"I know," Willow sighed, and got to her feet.
Buffy rose behind her, and slipped her arm around Willow's waist, and they walked home.
The house was full of noise when they arrived, and they followed it to the basement. Xander and Faith were framing walls. Tara and Anya watched, unless one or the other was asked for something. Buffy and Willow took one look at the chaos and went back upstairs before they got drafted. They ran into Joyce in the kitchen.
"Hi, Mom."
"Hi, honey, Willow."
"How was your day?"
"Good. I sold two paintings."
"Fantastic." Buffy paused. "Did you call the doctor?"
Joyce sighed. "Yes, I called the doctor."
"And," Willow prompted.
"I see her Monday, all right?"
"Peachy," Buffy and Willow said together.
Joyce laughed. "That's enough of that. No fair making fun of the parent."
Buffy ignored her. "What's for dinner?"
"Pizza," Faith called up from the basement. "Should be here any time. Xander's treat," she added, and they immediately heard Anya squawking about the cost. To the surprise of everyone upstairs, she quickly quieted.
Buffy and Willow went to the living room to wait for dinner to arrive while Joyce went downstairs to check the progress in the basement.
The dinner break was brief. Afterward, Faith and Xander returned to the basement while Tara and Anya went upstairs to begin boxing up things. Buffy, Willow and Joyce stayed in the living room. Willow and Joyce read while Buffy laid on the couch with her head on Willow's thigh. At 10 pm, the downstairs crew called it quits. They came upstairs, and Tara and Anya came down. Xander suggested patrolling followed by the Bronze. Buffy and Willow, knowing they were outvoted even if they objected, agreed.
Patrol was odd, and everyone was uneasy as they swept the cemeteries. They saw shadows in their peripheral vision, and several times had the feeling they were being watched. The Slayers split off from the main group a number of times to try unsuccessfully to run down the bogeys. They found no vampires apart from half a dozen newly risen, and saw no other demons of any kind, and were gathered around two tables in the Bronze by 12:30.
After half an hour, Willow said quietly into Buffy's ear, "I've had enough noise for one night."
"Ready to go?"
"Yeah."
"All right." Buffy hopped down from the tall chair and offered her arm to Willow. She smiled at their friends, waved, and pointed toward the door. Faith nodded in acknowledgement, and they left.
The same uncomfortable feeling they had during patrol followed them on their walk home, and they were both relieved to see the house come into view. As they got closer, the feeling eased.
While Buffy unlocked the door, she commented, "That's some spell Tara used."
"You felt it, huh?"
"Yeah. It makes a difference." Buffy carefully locked the door behind them. "Wanna see what they got done before we go upstairs?"
"Not really. I kinda had something else in mind."
"Oh?"
Willow winked at Buffy and started climbing the stairs. Buffy, ever curious, followed with her eyes glued to her girlfriend's rear. Willow invoked the silence spell as soon as Buffy closed the bedroom door. She took Buffy's hand and pulled her to the bed.