Getting Ahead of Myself
by sailor80
Thirty-six
[reviews]
**Dialogue from Buffy vs. Dracula by Marti Noxon**
Half way through their tour of Sunnydale, they stopped at the Espresso Pump for drinks before heading to the next cemetery. Willow and Xander had been talking while they followed Buffy. Buffy was easily slaying all the vampires that came at her.
She sprinted away to catch another. After a few blows, she threw him to the ground and staked him. When she stood back up, a tall, pale man in a cape was a few feet away.
In a marked Eastern European accent, he said, "Very impressive hunt. Such power."
"That was no hunt. That was just another day on the job." He took a step toward Buffy. "Care to step up for some overtime?"
"We're not going to fight."
"Do you *know* what a slayer is?" Buffy demanded.
"Do you?" the man smirked.
Buffy looked at "Who are you?"
"I apologize. I assumed you knew. I am Dracula." He bowed courteously.
Buffy's eyes widened and she looked delighted. "Get out!" She looked skeptically at him. "So lemme get this straight. You're ... (in Dracula's accent) "Dracula." The guy, the count."
He smiled, showing his fangs. "I am."
"And you're sure this isn't just some fanboy thing? Cause ... I've fought more than a couple of pimply overweight vamps that called themselves Lestat."
"You know who I am. As I would now without question that you are Buffy Summers." He moved closer to her.
"You're heard of me?"
"Naturally. You're known throughout the world."
Buffy smiled bashfully. "Naw. Really?"
"Why else would I come here? For the sun? I came to meet the renowned ... killer."
"Yeah, I prefer the term slayer. You know, killer just sounds so..."
"Naked?"
"Like I ... paint clowns or something. I'm the good guy, remember?"
"Perhaps, but your power is rooted in darkness. You must feel it."
Buffy frowned for a moment while she considered his statement. "No. You know what I feel? Bored." She lunged at him with her stake, and he dissolved into smoke. As she straightened up, looking confused, he reappeared behind her. She turned, and lunged toward him again, and again he dissolved into smoke. Buffy looked around. "Okay, that's cheating."
Xander and Willow walked up.
"Hey Buff, what's up?" Xander asked.
"You look like you just-" Willow began.
"Get out of here. Now," Buffy ordered.
"Fine, but I was gonna give you a sip of my double-mint mocha, but..." Xander said.
Dracula reappeared behind him.
"Behind you."
Willow and Xander turned and saw Dracula.
"Hi." Willow said.
Xander took one look and smirked. "Nice. Look who's got a bad case of dark prince envy."
Buffy watched Xander with concern.
"I have no interest in you. Leave us." Dracula dismissed Xander.
"No, we're not going to," he affected Dracula's accent for a moment, "''leave you.' And where'd you get that accent, Sesame Street?" He changed persona again, and as the Count on Sesame street, continued, "Vun, two, three -- three victims. Mwa ha ha!"
Dracula looked annoyed, and Buffy whispered, "Xander, I'm pretty sure that's Dracula."
Xander quickly stepped behind Buffy. "Wow, really? Hey, sorry, man, I was ... just jokin' around."
"This is not the time." Dracula locked eyes with Buffy. "I will see you soon." He dramatically spread his cape and moved toward them. He turned into a bat and flew above their heads as they ducked and yelled. The bat flew of, but as soon as they stood up, it returned for a quick circle around Buffy's head.
She covered her head with her hands and ducked again. "Bat! Ooh, bat!"
The bat squeaked and flew away again.
"Wow," Willow said.
"Xander, were you trying to get killed?"
"How was I supposed to know?" he protested.
"Just don't, uh, don't help," Buffy said.
"Wonder what he wants with you?" Willow asked.
"C'mon, the evening entertainment is over," Buffy said, and walked away. After a second, Xander and Willow followed her.
Once they were alone in their room, Willow asked, "What did he say to you?"
"He called me a killer." Buffy looked toward the ceiling while she tried to remember exactly what Dracula said. "He said my power is rooted in darkness."
"That's probably true," Willow said. She stopped undressing and turned to look at Buffy. "That's how they made the first Slayer, according to the earliest records. It isn't clear exactly how, but they merged a demon with some unknown girl."
"So, what, I'm part demon now?"
Willow laughed. "No, silly. She was, but it became diluted as it passed through generations of girls. You have what's left, the strength and speed and healing. Ooo, and the mindreading thing, though I'm really glad that's gone."
"Me, too. Plus, you know, horns are a total fashion faux pas." Buffy, relieved their talk went so well, smiled happily while she removed her boots.
"Yeah, I like you much better without them." Willow finished undressing and pulled her pajamas out from under her pillow. While she dressed, Buffy went to shower. By the time she returned, Willow was drowsing. Buffy put her pajamas on and got into bed. She curled around Willow and buried her nose in her hair. They slept, oblivious to the yellow eyes watching from the window.
Tara and Faith left quietly. Faith said her goodbyes earlier, and didn't want to go through that again. Plus, she wanted these last quiet minutes alone with Tara, who smiled sadly and resolved not to cry. Tara paid special attention to her driving on the way to the airport. She pulled up at the dropoff and put the car in park.
Faith threw her arms around Tara. "I'll call you tomorrow, Blondie."
"Be careful."
"Always."
"I love you, Faith."
"Love you, too, Tar." Faith kissed the available skin on Tara's neck and pulled away.
Tara reluctantly let her go. She looked determinedly forward while Faith got her bag from the back seat and put the car in drive as soon as Faith walked away from the closed door. Halfway home, she pulled over and cried for a few minutes.
Faith watched Sunnydale shrink and disappear through the airplane window. She felt more apprehensive than she had approaching Sunnydale with Kakistos on her heels. 'Rock and Roll Hall of Fame,' she reminded herself.
Tara needed something to do when she got home, so she started breakfast. By the time Joyce arrived downstairs, the paper was at her regular chair, along with a cup of coffee and a place setting. Within a minute, Tara put a plate in front of her.
"Thank you, Tara," Joyce said. She looked at Tara's back. "Come and sit down. The girls won't be up for an hour."
Tara brought her own plate and sat across from Joyce.
"She'll be fine," Joyce said comfortingly.
"I know. I just miss her." Tara pushed her eggs around her plate.
"That'll probably be me around 11:30," Joyce said, smiling.
"I'll come when my last class gets out. I think it's at 2."
"That would be lovely, dear." Joyce smiled at Tara.
By 5:30 p.m., everyone was at the Magic Box. Dawn played in the workout room while Buffy, Willow, and Xander described their encounter with Dracula.
"And then frigging Dracula's standing right behind us," Xander said.
"And then, he lunges at us, like whoosh!" Willow gestured.
"He totally looked shorter in person," Xander added.
"I told you he'd heard of me, right? I mean, can you believe that?" Buffy said. "Count Famous heard of me."
"I couldn't believe it the first twenty times you told us, but it's starting to sink in now," Giles said.
"I'm sorry," Buffy said. "Am I repeat-o-girl? I was just ... blown away."
Joyce said, "It's not that surprising that he's heard of you, Buffy. You are the Slayer."
"I guess," Buffy answered. "Just - the way he said it, you know, I mean, he made it sound so..."
"Sexy?" Anya offered. "I bet he made it sound sexy."
"Kinda," Buffy said slowly. "He of the dark penetrating eyes and lilty accent."
"I wonder if he knows Frankenstein?" Xander interrupted.
"You thought Dracula was sexy?" Willow asked.
"Oh! No. He, he was ... yuck," Buffy said, a little too quickly.
"Right, except for the whole tall, dark, and handsome thing? Yucko," Anya said.
Xander turned to her. "How would you know?"
"Well, we hung out a few times. Back in my demon days, you know, once or twice. He's pretty cool." Anya sighed as she recalled her past. "You know, from, from a whole ... evil thing perspective."
"Please," Xander scoffed. "He was no big whoop."
"No big whoop?" Willow asked. "What about that thing where he turned himself into a bat? That was awesome!"
Giles said, "It must have been, yes. I must admit, I'm sorry I missed that."
"How come he can do that?" Xander asked.
"I, I have no idea," Giles said. "There's a great deal of myth about Dracula. I imagine the trick to defeating him lies in separating the fact from the fiction."
"So we should take things slow with Dracula," Buffy said. "I mean, he said that we would meet again, but I would like to avoid that until we do some serious homework."
"I don't know," Xander said. "I mean, he may have a bunch of swell party tricks, but he's still just a vampire. I say we load up with stakes and crossbows and go after him now."
"No, Buffy's right," Anya said. "Dracula's too slick to fall for the usual stuff."
"So we hold off. No killing until we know exactly what we're dealing with," Buffy said firmly.
"All right. Willow, you and Tara find out everything you can about the actual legend of Vlad the Impaler on the Internet," Giles instructed, "and, uh, I'll check the library."
"After dinner," Joyce said firmly. She got up from the table. "We can meet here tomorrow night to discuss what we found."
Buffy took the hint and went to the workout room. Dawn was jumping on the mini trampoline. When she saw her mother, she took one last extra high jump, and when she hit the trampoline again, launched herself toward Buffy, laughing gleefully. Buffy caught her with a grunt, but she was smiling.
Anya and Xander walked down the street. "I doubt he'd remember me. I was just a silly young thing. I mean, like seven hundred or so. But he did say that this guy I cursed was doomed forever, which was really sweet, don't you think?"
"Adorable," Xander answered grumpily.
"It was a great spell." Anya smiled. "I made this jerk incredibly fat, like a human minivan."
Neither of them noticed a wolf trailing them on the roofs above them, growling.
"You should just mention my name if you see him again," Anya said.
"Or better yet, why don't you just go sit on top of a crypt and flaunt your neck cleavage until Dracula shows up? Then you two can talk private."
"Oh please, don't tell me you're jealous."
"Oh no, just because you're panting over the guy." Xander stopped.
"I am not panting. Now stop being silly. I'll see you tomorrow." Anya leaned up and gave him a quick kiss.
"You don't wanna come back to my place?" Xander asked.
"It's whites day, remember? The bleach smell makes me nauseous." She walked away.
"Fine. I suppose Dracula doesn't use bleach, huh? He's a darks-only man," Xander groused, and continued walking.
Above him, the wolf continued to watch and follow. Xander turned the corner and jumped in shock when he saw Dracula waiting for him. Xander sighed. "Great. Perfect." He paused and looked Dracula up and down. "You know what? You're not so big. One round of old-fashioned fisticuffs, you'd fold like a bitty baby."
Dracula scowled at the insult and Xander rolled up his sleeves. "Okay, let's do it. And no poofing. Come on, puffy shirt. Pucker on up, cause you can kiss your pale ass..."
"Silence."
"Yes master." Xander shook his head. "No, that's not..."
Dracula raised his hand. "You will be my emissary, my eyes and ears in daylight."
"Your emissary?"
"Serve me well," Dracula commanded. "You will be rewarded. I will make you an immortal. A child of darkness that feeds on life itself. On blood."
"Blood?" Xander repeated in Dracula's accent, then added quickly, "Yes! Yes! I will serve you, your excellent spookiness."
Dracula frowned.
"Or master. I'll just stick with master," Xander corrected himself quickly.
"You are strange and off-putting. Go now," Dracula ordered.
Xander nodded and turned to go, then turned back. "But master, how can I find..." he trailed off when he realized Dracula was gone. "Brilliant. What an exit! Guy's a genius!" Xander giggled and walked away.