Finding Her Way Home
by rebelrsr
Chapter 5
[reviews]
Disclaimer: All things Buffy belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and lots of people in expensive suits. I'm not making any money here, just trying to create a happier Buffyverse for my favorite characters.
Spoilers, etc.: "Dopplegangland," "Something Blue" and everything after "The Gift."
A/N: Character thoughts are enclosed by **. Flashbacks are enclosed by //. Thanks to Zenithar and Zigpal for the beta and encouragement! I couldn't do it without you.
Archiving: By permission only.
Buffy walked Tara home and then headed back across town. The Slayer was anxious to make the phone call to England, but knew she needed to do some thinking before picking up the phone. Cutting through Restview Cemetery, she revisited the conversation with the older witch.
//"We kept telling her she had to stop 'using,' assuming she had a choice. Unfortunately, Willow didn't have a choice. She wasn't using external magical forces. The power flowed from her prematurely tapped power reserves. She couldn't stop the flow because she didn't know it was there."//
The blonde dropped into the wet grass, sitting with her back against a headstone and let the tears flow. No matter how many times she tried to tell herself Will's magical struggles weren't her fault, she didn't believe it. No way should the young witch have tried the resurrection spell. *What do I say to Giles? He's the only one who might be able to help us. But he was so mad — no disappointed, when he left.* Buffy knew she had hurt her former Watcher when she told him to leave. She had simply wanted to be free, to learn how to be an adult. The request hadn't come out right, though, and, in the end, she had told the man she loved like a father that he wasn't needed anymore.
It took a long time for the tears to stop. Buffy knew she wasn't done grieving, but she was just too tired for the gut wrenching emotion. Standing stiffly, she quickly left Restview for the dubious comforts of home.
Entering the house, Buffy thought fleetingly of crawling into bed. She was too tired for the sure to be emotional talk with Giles. Shaking her head to ward off Avoidance Buffy, the blonde forced herself into the kitchen and picked up the phone. She climbed onto a stool at the counter and punched in the international code and number for Giles' home in England.
The ring sounded far away and echoed. *Great. Not only do I get to grovel and explain just how much I've screwed things up, I get do it all on a bad connection.* Finally, after a dozen hollow rings, someone picked up the line.
"Hello?" The cool British voice was female. Definitely not Giles.
"Um, hi. I'm looking for Rupert Giles." Even after seven years, it felt funny to call her Watcher by his full name.
"May I ask who's ringing?" the woman asked.
"Sure. Tell him it's Buffy." *And hurry, before I chicken out and hang up.*
There was a slight hesitation on the line. Then a quiet, "One moment, please."
"Thanks," Buffy muttered. Jamming the phone between ear and shoulder, the Slayer slumped over the counter. Eyes closed she drifted, just this side of awake, waiting for the anonymous woman to bring Giles to the phone.
The blonde was nearly asleep by the time the ex-Watcher spoke. "Buffy? Is everything alright?"
*Nope. Got it in one, Giles. You know I wouldn't call just to talk; gotta be something bad happening.* "Hi, Giles. Um, no. I guess you were right. I'm not handling things very well on my own." A sob tried to break free, but Buffy stubbornly fought it back.
"Tell me what's happened," he said.
The warmth and caring in his familiar voice dissolved her self control. The sob slipped free, followed by another. Choking the words out, the Slayer tried to explain. "It's Will, Giles. Something happened to her when she did the resurrection spell. Tara thinks either some evil essence burrowed into her mind or she accidentally tapped into her magical potential and can't control the power any more."
"Good Lord. And Tara's not sure which one actually happened?"
"No. When I talked to her last night, she said Willow had grown so powerful that she would have to consent to someone reading her aura. I...Giles...it gets worse," Buffy continued.
She could tell by the silence on the line that the older man was restraining a pained sigh. "What else is happening, Buffy?" His voice was tight but controlled.
Buffy tried to answer, but couldn't get the words out.
"My dear, I promise. I'll so everything I can to help," he said, sounding more like the father figure she needed. "Please, take a deep breath, and tell me what's happening."
"OK." Buffy tried the deep breath. It helped — a little. "After the spell, Willow started relying on magic for everything. She used it to clean the house or get her laptop from her room. Tara tried to get her to stop, but Will just got mad. She was getting so powerful, Giles, it was scary. A couple of months ago, she did a spell. Tara called it the Tabula Rasa. Only something went wrong and we all lost our memories. When the spell was broken, Tara moved out. Will stayed here, but I was really angry. We all thought she was addicted to the magic and we wanted her to stop using."
"Oh, dear," came the often used phrase.
"Yeah. That about sums it up. We didn't realize that she couldn't stop the magic. And, Tara thinks Willow didn't know either. She had some really freaky withdrawal symptoms and went to a local magic broker for help." Buffy paused and swiped at the tears still streaming down her face. "I think that Rack — the broker — tried to tap into Will's power and widened the access to her potential. Tara said that could have ripped her channels open. Oh, God, Giles, I didn't know. I swear I didn't. But she got in an accident running from Rack and Dawnie got hurt. I lost it. I told her she had to move out."
Now that the worst of the tale was out, the Slayer felt even more drained. It took all of her energy to hold the phone to her ear and wait for Giles' response.
"Buffy, I can contact the Coven here in Devonshire. They'll most likely have information on a witch who can help Willow." His voice sounded hesitant as he then asked, "Would you like me to come to Sunnydale?"
For the first time since meeting with Tara, the blonde felt they just might be able to fix everything. "Yes. Please, Giles, I need you to come home."
***
The knock at the door blended with the already-present pounding in her head. Trying not to breathe too heavily, Willow ignored the sound. Unfortunately, whoever was outside the door wasn't smart enough to take the hint. The second knock was louder and longer than the first.
Slowly rolling out of bed, the groggy redhead stumbled across the room. Leaning against the wall, she pulled the door open and leveled a green glare at Kirstan. "What do you want?" she croaked.
"We start training this morning. You need to be out in the training shed in half an hour," the tall woman said.
Willow laughed, until she realized it made her head hurt worse. "Sorry. Can we do it later? I've got a nasty migraine and just want to stay in bed until it's gone."
Her mother shrugged. "No. You'll just have to ignore it. Jennifer told me what happened last night. You don't have the luxury of waiting any more."
"You're joking, right? I mean, I can't even stand up and you want me to go outside and let you pound on me? Not going to happen." Pushing herself into a more or less upright position, Willow tried to close the door.
The retired Slayer easily kept the door from closing. "It is going to happen, Willow. Now, not later. So you can either get dressed and walk down on your own, or I'll toss you over my shoulder and carry you down in your sleepwear."
"Oh, for Goddess, sake. Just go away." Willow couldn't believe this was happening. *Even Buffy was better than this. She just yelled a little and then went away to sulk.* Keeping a tight reign on her temper, she drew herself to her full height. "I am only going to say this one time. I am so not going anywhere until this beastly headache is gone. I don't want to be rude, but you're out of your mind if you think I'd let you carry me anywhere."
For just an instant, Willow thought Kirstan looked sad. However, she knew she had been mistaken when the brunette moved forward with Slayer speed and grabbed her around the waist. Before she could even feel surprised, the slight redhead found herself staring at her mother's jeans-clad butt, bouncing with every step the woman took. The sudden motion combined with shock and anger left the usually verbose girl speechless. By the time she had regained the ability to form words, Kirstan was striding out the kitchen door toward a large barn.
Bright sunlight stabbed at Willow as she bounced against the older woman. "Oh, Goddess, please put me down. I'm going to be sick," she moaned.
"Nope. I've helped raise four children — five, counting you. I'm not afraid of a little vomit. Besides, we're almost there," Kirstan said heartlessly.
The redhead didn't respond, too busy trying to kept last night's food and beverage from making an appearance. Sweat broke out all over her body as she fought her reaction to the bouncing and the light. After an eternity in hell, they entered the barn. Willow sighed in relief as the brightness dropped. Now, if only Kirstan would put her down.
Seconds later, she was reconsidering that idea. Her mother had removed her from the awkward position over her shoulder. But she hadn't set Willow on her feet. Instead, she dropped her unceremoniously in a heap on the floor.
*OK. I've had just about enough,* Willow snarled inwardly. She gave the older woman one last chance to avoid conflict. "Kirstan, I know you and Jennifer want me to train. I get it. I do. I'm just not up to it right now. Give me a few hours to get rid of the headache and I promise I'll come right back here."
"I told you already. You aren't going to postpone this," came the implacable reply.
The recumbent witch almost growled. *Fine. We'll do this the hard way.* Drawing power from the ground, Willow snapped her right hand up, pointing at the brunette. At the same time, she chanted quickly in Sumerian. White light arched from her hand toward her mother — and bounced off an unseen barrier.
"You didn't really think I'd come unprepared?" Kirstan said as Willow looked on in shock.