Finding Her Way Home
by rebelrsr
Chapter 7
[reviews]
Disclaimer: All things Buffy belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and lots of people in expensive suits. I'm not making any money here, just trying to create a happier Buffyverse for my favorite characters.
Spoilers, etc.: "Dopplegangland," "Something Blue" and everything after "The Gift."
A/N: Character thoughts are enclosed by **. Flashbacks are enclosed by //. Thanks to Zenithar and Zigpal for the beta and encouragement! I couldn't do it without you.
Archiving: By permission only.
Shaking her head to get rid of the annoying buzz, Buffy said, "I'm sorry, Giles. Can you repeat that? For some reason, it sounded like you said Will's part of a prophecy."
The Watcher's voice was quiet, but not because of the quality of international phone lines. "Buffy, my dear, when Willow performed the resurrection spell, she became a part of a very old prophecy. The records aren't very clear on what exactly is foretold, but I am scouring the Council library to find even the smallest bit of information."
It was too much. Buffy felt the world begin to fade, her vision narrowing to a single point of distant light. She was no longer aware of her body. Dimly, she heard a man's voice talking, but his words didn't make sense.
"Buffy?! Buffy!" The shout gave her a place to focus. The Slayer slowly forced back the darkness edging her vision. Dawn leaned against one of the stools at the counter, staring at her.
"Hang on a second, Giles," she muttered into the handset. Buffy was glad for once to see her bratty sister. Having her name bellowed from just a few feet away kept the Slayer on her feet and not on the ground in a faint. "Yeah, Dawnie, what do you need?"
With her patented 'you're so dumb' look firmly in place, the teen said, "Breakfast? I know you feel challenged in the kitchen, but I've had cereal for, like, the last 200 days in a row."
The older Summers was far too tired and freaked out to waste any time on a response. "Sorry, Dawn. You'll just have to eat it for the 201st time. I'm on the phone with Giles."
She nearly dropped the phone to grab her ears at the piercing shriek following her announcement. "Dawn, going deaf here. Turn the volume down!" Buffy shouted over the noise.
Glaring, Dawn ended the tonal sound and asked, "Can I talk to Giles, please?"
"Maybe next time, Dawnie." Looking pointedly at the clock, she said, "Don't you need to be at school in ten minutes?" Her sister flushed and mumbled something under her breath. "Don't argue, Dawn. Just get ready and go already." The Slayer's voice was harsh.
"Whatever," the younger girl sniped, flouncing out of the room.
Buffy dismissed her sister from her mind and got back to the business at hand. "Giles, sorry about the interruption. I missed that last part. What did you say?"
"My dear, perhaps I should fly out sooner than originally planned," he responded.
"No, no we'll be OK for another few days. You said something about checking the Council records. What have you found so far?" Buffy needed to know.
Thanks to her Slayer hearing, Buffy could hear pages being turned through the phone line. "Not much, I'm afraid. There is a reference to a great Evil being unleashed into the world after a powerful witch open's a gate to the heavens."
"OK, so, Willow is the witch." The blonde couldn't quite make herself ask Giles if her best friend was actually the great Evil. "Does it say what this evil is or what it's going to do?"
Her ex-Watcher sighed. "That's not clearly stated. It's a very old codex and not in the best shape. Much of the text relating to the prophecy is damaged and illegible. However, I do have a few remaining friends on the Council, and they are doing everything they can to help locate another copy or reference. Althenea is going to consult a seer in the area as well. We are doing everything possible, my dear. I assure you I am equally distressed that Willow may be in danger from this unnamed evil."
"I never doubted, Giles. Despite my habit of stuffing my feet in my mouth on a regular basis, I've always known you cared for all of us. Stay there and take the flight you've already scheduled. I'll do a little scouting and research on my end. Keep in touch, though, in case either of us find something." Saying goodbye, Buffy closed the line, but did not return the phone to the wall. Tapping a finger against her lips, she debated for long minutes before dialing another number.
***
Keeping a hand pressed against her nose in an attempt to staunch the steady stream of blood, Willow waited for an answer to her question. Finally, it came, but not from the exhausted ex-Slayer in front of her. "I'm more certain than ever we can't put off your training." Jennifer announced from the doorway.
If she hadn't been so tired and in so much pain, the young redhead might have considered screaming and stomping her feet in frustration. What was wrong with these people? She had agreed to the training before her astral trip to Sunnydale and her impromptu imitation of the comic book character Storm. Clamping down on the emotion and doing another spot check of the dam restraining her magic, Willow said, "For the last time, I am not refusing or resisting the idea of being trained. The opposite in fact. I'm begging you to help me. But do we really need to start this very second, when I can barely see from the reaction headache, blood is pouring from my nose, and I'm in my sleep clothes?"
Jennifer started to reply but Kirstan broke in. "Go ahead and get cleaned up. You had enough control to pull that last power explosion, so I don't think we're in immediate danger. You're keeping an eye on whatever block you have on the energy?" Willow nodded. "OK. Then we meet back here in thirty minutes."
It was too short a time in the young witch's mind, but she didn't believe for a second her parents would extend the break. Without a word, she slipped from the barn and trudged back to the house. Showering on auto-pilot allowed her the opportunity to examine just what had happened with Kirstan. Intellectually, Willow knew that Rack had somehow accelerated her magical growth. But magic didn't really come with an owner's manual. She could only hope that Jennifer and Kirstan would have some answers. Tossing on a clean pair of jeans and a T-shirt, Willow rushed back out to the barn.
This time, entering the training facility was far less traumatic. Kirstan was cleaning in the last of the scattered equipment, but the young girl saw no sign of her other parent. "OK, I'm back. Where's Jennifer?" she asked, still having a hard time calling two women 'mom.'
"She went to tell Morgan and Drew not to disturb us. With all of us underfoot here at the ranch, it takes some doing to keep anyplace locked down." Kirstan wiped some dirt off her cheek and sat down on a weight bench. "Before things get intense again, I wanted to apologize for earlier."
Smiling slightly and relaxing, Willow said, "Guess I can let it slide this once. Just, don't make a habit of it, OK? Me and mornings, not a good mix at the best of times."
Kirstan's green eyes sparkled with mischief. "Must run in the family. Jenny is a real bitch before her morning coffee."
"Hey, I heard that!" Jennifer's voice floated in from the door. "I seem to remember a certain Slayer whining like a three year old when she had to get up for morning classes."
Willow watched the byplay with interest. The two women seemed very comfortable with themselves and each other. A memory of Tara stabbed at her and she frowned. A tingle of power tested the energy barrier.
Jennifer felt it, too, and glanced at her daughter sharply. "Willow? Everything OK?"
"OK? No. Under control? Yes." The younger witch sighed quietly. The barrier was still holding though the cracks were widening. "Before you get all Drill Sergeant on me again, I think we need to talk. So far, you've seen me at my worst. I'm really not crazy all the time. I just need to understand what is happening to me and deal." She looked shyly at the two women. "Plus, it would be nice to get to know you both better."
The moment was heavy with emotion. Looking a bit teary-eyed, Kirstan cleared her throat. "We'd like that, too. And even though this morning was rough, Jenny and I want to help." She grasped the older witch's hand. "Let's get comfortable and share some stories." In companionable silence, the three women piled mats and foam pillows together, making a cozy nest a corner of the training facility.
When all of them were stretched out, Willow hesitantly started. "Although I'd love to let you do most of the talking, the barrier won't last for more than a few days at most. Let me fill you in on what I 'saw' as I put it in place and we can go from there." She shifted around, trying to decide just where to start and how much of the sordid story she wanted to tell. Lips twisting bitterly, the young witch knew is was time to tell the whole story. "I don't know how much information you get from the Council, Kirstan, so I may repeat things you're familiar with." She flicked a glance at the two women. "Buffy died last year. Not really an odd occurrence for Slayers in general, and Buffy's done it before. This time, though, she was permanently dead. I didn't handle it well. She'd sacrificed herself to close a portal to a hell dimension and I couldn't get past the fact that maybe she'd ended up in hell, too. Long story short, I bullied the other Scoobies into helping me find a way to resurrect her."
She could feel Kirstan's shock and Jennifer's unease. "Whatever you're imagining, the reality was worse. Tara, my ex-girlfriend, is a really powerful White witch. Even though she was against the whole thing, when I found a spell she helped me set up safeguards to keep the evil from getting a foothold in my mind. After Buffy had been dead for six months, I cast a resurrection spell using the Urn of Osiris. A lot of the incantation is a blur, but I do remember passing a bunch of magical tests. I willingly used Black Magic to give me the power base I needed to force Osiris to resurrect Buffy. It worked. She came back — a little different — but back. That's when things got really wrong. I started to use magic for everything. I was addicted to the rush of the power."
The redhead could feel tears streaming down her face and it was hard to get the words out. Sitting up and wrapping her arms around her knees, she forced herself to continue. "Tara told me I had to stop. I tried, but the withdrawal symptoms were so bad...She started really pushing, too, and it made me mad. We argued and I used a Tabula Rasa spell to wipe her memory. She found out, though. Now I had an ultimatum. Quit or lose her. I swore I would go cold turkey." A harsh laugh ripped from her throat. "I didn't even last a day. Only this time, I expanded the scope of the spell and used it on the whole gang. Big time problems happened. Tara left, Buffy freaked out, and this time I told myself that I would succeed in quitting magic."
Wishing she'd thought to stock up on Kleenex, Willow mentally shrugged and used her shirt sleeve to mop up the tears and her runny nose. "I was doing OK, this time, but the withdrawal was intense. Nose bleeds, migraines, shakes, and the constant temptation to use the power I sensed in everything. I got desperate. A couple of weeks ago, I needed a fix and couldn't ignore the pull. I went to a wizard in Sunnydale named Rack." She shuddered as she remembered him taking over her mind, drawing at her power reserves. "He didn't want to help me; he used me to fill his own reserves. I got away, but he did something when he was in my mind. Until this morning, I didn't know what had happened."
"Now you do?" Jennifer broke her silence to ask.
"I've got an idea, anyway. When I projected inward, I noticed there was a hole in the wall closing off my potential. Um, OK, not a hole. It looked like I'd used C4 to blow half of it away." Willow struggled to find the words to explain. She glanced at her mother to see if she followed the description.
The older redhead nodded slowly. "So, you think Rack tore down the barrier and released your potential. That would explain the sudden, drastic growth in your power levels."
Willow really wanted to stop right there, to let the other witch believe that was the problem. But she felt compelled to go on. "No, Jennifer," she said, meeting the woman's green eyes. "I knew Rack had tapped my potential and accelerated my magical growth. When I was grabbing debris to build the new barrier, I noticed that some of the rubble was older than my trip to Rack's shop. I think he exploited a hole that was already there. I think something else started the destruction, probably during the resurrection spell."