Finding Her Way Home
by rebelrsr
Chapter 23
[reviews]
Disclaimer: All things Buffy belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and lots of people in expensive suits. I'm not making any money here, just trying to create a happier Buffyverse for my favorite characters.
Spoilers, etc.: Pretty much everything after the Gift.
A/N: Character thoughts are enclosed by **. Flashbacks are enclosed by //. Thanks to Ivy, Malea, Zenithar, and Zigpal for the beta and encouragement! I couldn't do it without you.
Archiving: By permission only.
A/N2: I'm mixing parts of S6 and S7 with very little regard to canon. For purposes of the fic, Dawn is over the age of consent *wink*.
Buffy felt Willow's hand on her thigh, cautioning her to take things slow. Looking at Giles, the Slayer understood. He looked terrible. Buffy had never seen him so tired and disheveled.
"Yes." He grimaced, not meeting her eyes. "I dare say you do. However, perhaps we should do this someplace more private." The room was a beehive of activity. Bodies sprawled on the floor, the couches, and at the long table up front.
"We can go back to the guest house," Willow said. She stood up, holding out a hand to Buffy.
Buffy took the hand, but simply held it. A bright blush crawled up her face. "I'm thinking no to that." Hazel eyes met green and then skittered away and Willow barely restrained a chuckle. *Will*, Buffy whined through their link, *I am not taking my Watcher into the Cabin o'Love.*
"Well, if the guest house is out, Mom and Mama have a small den we can use. Or we could just go outside and enjoy the scenery while we talk." Willow cocked an eyebrow at Giles.
"My dear, perhaps outside?" He regained his feet and looped the satchel over his shoulder. "I think we will all be tired of this room soon enough."
It didn't take long for them to exit the house near the path to the outlying fields and the Training Shed. As the walked through the trees, Buffy searched for a way to start. There were so many things...Finally, she settled on the one, central question. "Why didn't you tell me that Slayers and Witches are bonded?"
"The simple explanation is that the Council has stopped the practice." Giles stuffed his hands pockets, head bowed. "By the time I was assigned to you, there had not been a paired Slayer for years."
"Sorry, Giles." Willow shook her head, unimpressed. "That doesn't make sense. Mom hasn't been retired that long, and she was bonded."
"Yes, but once she was no longer active, the Council would not have informed her of the change in policy." His voice sounded mechanical. "It is quite possible the news never reached her."
"Giles, even I can tell you don't believe that crap, but we'll tackle that discussion later." Buffy's voice wavered, and she struggled to keep going. "For now, if you knew about the bond, why didn't you ever tell us? I don't get it, Giles. Why let us flounder around, dating other people. Why?"
Sensing his Slayer's anguish, Giles tried to find an answer that wouldn't hurt her more. "I never considered the possibility, at first. Good Lord, Buffy," he burst out, "you were both so young. Willow showed little sign of magical potential. And you...when I first began to wonder, you had Angel."
At the mention of Angel, Buffy exploded. "That's my point! If you have just told me about the bond, about Willow, there would have been no Angel. No 'one moment of true happiness,' no-" her voice broke, "no Jenny and no Kendra. All that blood on my hands, why? Because you and the Council can't just tell me anything."
"Buffy-" Giles broke off. He fought to control his own pain and rising agitation. "How could I have told you, Buffy? Bloody hell." He moved closer, gripping Buffy's arms. "Think back. You already thought I was too involved in your life. How well did it go when I cautioned you against dating Angel?"
"This is different," Buffy insisted, jerking away.
Giles pulled off his glasses, rubbing at his tired eyes. "How? How is it different? I was just a meddling old man in your eyes." Voice quiet but firm, he continued, "If I told you that Willow was most likely your soulmate, you'd have started running and never stopped."
The Slayer had no answer for that, and simply stared at Giles, tears streaking her face. She was so tired of this. Of it all. She slumped, suddenly exhausted.
Choking on her own tears, Willow said quietly, "Be honest, Buffy. If Giles had told us, would we even have believed him? I wasn't ready for that. Hell, I wasn't ready for anything but secretly lusting after Xander." She took Buffy's hand, stroking the back with her thumb. "Even if we had been ready to explore the options, I don't think anybody around us was. Principal Flutie or — even worse — Principal Snyder would have thrown us both out of Sunnydale High."
The anger and sense of betrayal pouring through their link faltered. Willow pushed forward, watching to make sure the darker emotions continued to ebb. "You were still too much the Cordy-clone, caught up in the 'I can still be a normal teen' mode to want to date a girl. And besides," she grinned quirkily, kissing Buffy quickly, "I wasn't nearly as sexy then as I am now. I needed time to get rid of those jumpers and discover College Girl Willow." Peering at Buffy through her lashes, she purred, "I might just be a match for you now, my Slayer."
A smile twitched at Buffy's lips, but Willow could still feel her pain, confusion, and lingering sense of betrayal. The Slayer was far too stubborn for her own good, but she deserved some answers. Willow stepped back, letting Buffy lead the rest of the conversation.
"Alright, Giles, "she grudgingly allowed. "So, maybe I wasn't ready to hear the news. I get why you didn't tell us about the bond. But...What about not having any support from the Council and not having any contact with other Slayers like Kirsten?"
"Ah, yes." Giles replaced his glasses, and regarded the two girls solemnly. "I have no concrete answer for that."
Running a shaking hand through her hair, Buffy pleaded softly "I don't need something in a book, Giles. Right now, your opinion is fine."
Giles nodded. "Very well. My own personal thoughts on the subject..." He hesitated, seemingly at a loss. "I believe it was an attempt by Quentin and the traditional-minded members of the Council to exert more control over Slayers." He smiled slightly in memory, "As you once pointed out to him and his minions, the Council serves — or should serve — at the whim of the Slayers. However, there has always been a faction within the Council that believed otherwise. Slayers were tools. Toys to be played with and discarded when damaged or destroyed."
"So Buffy was just a stepping stone to some kind of personal empire," Willow commented bitterly.
With a pained smile, Giles nodded. "Yes." He took a deep, slow breath. "I'm afraid I have other bad news as well."
Wryly, Willow looked at Buffy. "I'm all with the 'whoo hoo.' How about you, Buff?"
"No. Sorry. No whoos or hoos here." Buffy struggled to focus on the conversation, drained of energy. A headache roared up until even her eyes hurt.
"Shall I continue or would you prefer to rest, perhaps?" Giles, too, noticed Buffy's condition.
*Sweetie, you OK?* Willow sent along their bond.
The reply was muffled, but rapid. *Tired, angry, you name it, but I really want to hear this before he goes back to Unhelpful Giles.*
"Please, Giles. I think we need to know." Willow smiled slightly. "Buffy and I are on a new No Secrets Plan. Can we include you in that as well?"
The Watcher gave a wry chuckle. "Indeed, my dear. I will certainly look into it. I think it might be best for all of us." Becoming more serious, he said, "When you first called me, Buffy, and I began looking into the prophecy, I did talk with Quentin. There was something in his manner. I began to believe he had already heard of the prophecy."
"I'm not going to like this, am I?" Buffy's voice was flat, resigned.
"I'd say that is rather unlikely, Buffy," Giles said wearily. "I set some friends on the Watcher's Diaries and other scholarly works. I, however, dug through Quentin's files and the personal papers of several of his staunchest supporters. I found this." He pulled a sheaf of documents from his jacket and handed them to Willow.
"Perhaps you could read later, my dears," he said, forestalling Willow who had begun pulling the papers from their envelope. "What you need to know" he insisted, "is that the Council, or at least key members of it, knew of the prophecy and of Willow's part in it. According to the memos and papers there, when the Council realized who Willow was, Travers went to the Council and pushed through a vote using his authority and vast amounts of 'incentives.'" Voice rising, he growled, "The bloody ponce believed she needed to be isolated until the 'proper' Slayer was chosen and trained to bond with her."
Huddling against Buffy, Willow numbly commented, "I gather that wasn't Buffy."
"Oh, no" Giles waved his hands in agitation. "Buffy evaded the usual detection as a Potential, so the Council judged her a renegade and assigned her to Merrick" His lips twisted. "The old boy's job was to contain her, keep her out of the way until they could send someone of their choosing to the Hellmouth. However, Merrick died unexpectedly and the Hellmouth began preparing for the arrival of the Master." He met Buffy's eyes. "In essence, you were Called here before the Council had a chance to hand pick their Champion."
Buffy pushed away from Willow. Striding up to Giles, she spit out bitterly, "What? I got here and they realized I was good enough to die for their cause, but not good enough for Willow?"
"I thought you were long past the stage of non-thinking dramatics," Giles barked, not afraid of the angry Slayer in front of him.
The bond flooded with Buffy's emotions, almost staggering Willow. Trying to keep the talk from becoming something more violent, the witch wrapped her arms around Buffy from behind. Chin resting on the Slayer's tense shoulder, she said as calmly as possible, "So, Buffy wouldn't play by the rules. The Council leaves her here to keep things under control until the 'right' girl can be found. Makes a creepy, Council-y type of sense." Willow kissed Buffy's neck lightly. "I'm guessing Kendra was supposed to be it, but she died. What about Faith?"
Wrenching away from Willow, Buffy stared at her in horror. "Please, Will. I think your Smart Girl title's in jeopardy. Faith was never good enough for you."
"I'm afraid the Council agreed with you, Buffy," Giles' tired voice interrupted "Faith was a stop-gap. Her only purpose was to take up the fight after you were killed. Quentin and the Council still hadn't found anyone they thought might make a good match for Willow."
Willow wrapped her arms tightly around her stomach. "Giles, you're kinda freaking me out with this whole topic."
"I'm sure, my dear." Giles smiled at her gently. "However, as you pointed out, the time for secrets is passed."
"Then what?" Buffy demanded impatiently. "Faith goes all Psycho Slayer. I'm still holding the fort on the Hellmouth." She rubbed her forehead, trying to keep it from exploding at the pressure inside. "The Council throws us both out, but Will's still with us. No new Slayers or Potentials on the scene. Did they just give up?"
Refusing to be rattled by Buffy's urgency, Giles sighed. "I really don't know, my dear. Quentin was becoming suspicious of my research. To perhaps hide what I had already discovered, I went back to work on the prophecy." Eyes shadowed, he went on, "Before I had a chance to continue researching the Councils actions, the First attacked."