Wizard of Oz
by Rin
If I only had a Brain
[reviews]
"Follow the Yellow Brick Road..." Buffy was singing to herself, as she clutched Mr. Gordo to her side, walking as fast as she could along the uncomfortable pavement. Coming upon a fork in the road, she took a deep breath. Maybe this was where she would get to meet the Scarecrow, and the walk wouldn't be as boring. As much as she loved Mr. Gordo, he wasn't much of a conversationalist. A big part of her wished that Willow the Good Witch would've taken the walk with her. Then again, she probably had witchy stuff to do; no need to bother her. She wasn't HER Willow anyways, whom she was missing more with each step she took. "Now which way do we go?"
"That way is a very nice way." A voice said from somewhere.
"Finally." Buffy walked over to find the Scarecrow but couldn't tell which one it was. There were three of them in the field. She eyed each of them carefully. "Who said that?"
"It's pleasant down that way, too." The voice said again.
"This isn't funny. Which one are you?" Buffy stood close to them, and studied them each separately. They all looked the same: lots of straw, tattered clothes, and a hat.
"Of course, people do go both ways." It was as though this creature was taunting her.
"I know it's one of you, so just fess up." Buffy saw one of them nod his head, then shake his head. "Are you doing that on purpose, or can't you make up your mind?"
"That's the trouble." Giles! It couldn't be...this was too funny. She really wanted that camera now. "I can't make up my mind. I haven't got a brain — only straw."
"Okay...how can you talk if you haven't got a brain?" Buffy decided to test him. This was too good to be true.
"I don't know...but some people without brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?" Scarecrow Giles was missing his glasses, and just dangled on the post.
"Yeah, I already met this reality's Cordelia. Not much different from mine." Buffy snickered, as she tried to find a way to help Giles down.
"Oh, I'm not feeling at all well. You see, it's very tedious being stuck up here all day long with a pole up your back." Giles did something similar to a pout.
"Apparently, you're not much different, either. Even without brains, you use big words I don't understand." Buffy didn't want to add her thoughts on the pole stuck in places. "Let me help you down."
"Oh, that's very kind of you...very kind." Giles watched in curiosity as Buffy went to the back, and began to lift his entire body without stress. "Of course, I'm not that bright about doing things but if you just bend the nail down in the back, maybe I'll just slip off, and OH!!"
"Oh...sorry." Buffy grimaced, as she lost her grip on Scarecrow Giles. He fell to the grass, and some of the straw came out of him.
"Ha...there goes some of me again." Giles started to pick up, and stuff the straw back in his shirt.
"That's really disturbing..." Buffy tried not to laugh but it was growing increasingly difficult.
"Did I scare you?" Giles cocked his head in question, as he noticed Buffy was holding her hand over her mouth.
"Oh...no. I, uh...I just thought you hurt yourself." Buffy bit her lip.
"But I didn't scare you?"
"No — of course not." Buffy was going to walk closer to Giles but a crow landed on his shoulder. Again, she had to bite down her lip to keep from laughing.
"Boo! Scat!!" Scarecrow Giles only looked foolish trying to scare the crow from his shoulder. "You see...I can't even scare a crow! They come from miles around just to eat in my field and laugh in my face! Oh, I'm a failure because I haven't got a brain."
"Well...what would you do with a brain if you had one?" Buffy thought back to her Giles, and couldn't help but wish she had that camera even more. It'd be good for blackmail in the future when she wanted a day off from patrol.
"Do? Why, if I had a brain, I could...well, I could..."
"While away the hours, conferrin' with the flowers?" Buffy thought she wasn't going to have to endure any songs. Looks like she was ready to do that happy dance too soon.
"I beg your pardon?" Giles was still very British, even in a Scarecrow outfit.
"Nothing." Buffy coughed uncomfortably but at least she didn't have to rule out that happy dance.
"Oh. Well..." Scarecrow Giles did something similar to a little dance of his own. Buffy couldn't figure out exactly what he was doing. "Sorry, a piece of straw was positioned uncomfortably."
"Well...if my Giles back home in Sunnydale did that, the vamp...uh, crows'd be scared to pieces." Buffy coughed again. This was a 'happy place' but she wasn't sure if vampires and demons was a good topic of conversation.
"They would?" Giles perked up a little.
"Oh, yeah..." Buffy didn't mention that she was a little scared, unsure what the spasm was about anyways.
"Where's Sunnydale?"
"That's where I live. I'm trying to get back, so I'm walking to Emerald City to see the Wizard." Buffy propped herself up on the fence to sit. It was time for a rest anyways.
"Oh! Do you think if I went with you, this wizard would give me some brains?" Giles was way too perky. This was definitely NOT her Giles.
"If I wrote this right, he should...but even if he didn't, you'd be no worse off than you already are." Buffy shrugged, as Giles walked closer to her.
"Yes. That's true."
"But you'd better not. As usual, I've got Cordelia mad at me, so you might get into trouble." Buffy huffed. She really wanted the company.
"The Witch? Huh! I'm not afraid of a witch! I'm not afraid of anything, except a lighted match." Scarecrow Giles had a little shiver, so a few strands of straw fell out again.
"I don't blame you for that." Buffy smirked, as she decided that she liked this version of Giles. He was more...quirky.
"But I'd face a whole box of them for the chance of getting some brains." Giles didn't know about how literal that would be in Sunnydale. 'Zombies...eww...' "Look, I won't be any trouble because I don't eat a thing, and I won't try to manage things because I can't think. Won't you take me with you?"
"Uh..." Buffy tried not to panic at the begging. Her Giles would never beg. He was too busy with his scones and tea, and being bossy and managing things. "Sure, why not?"
"Hooray! We're off to see a wizard!" Scarecrow Giles did that little scary dance again.
"Yep..." Buffy just let that linger, as she tried not to just flee.
"I'll bet he is a whiz of a wiz." Scarecrow Giles started down the road already, as Buffy followed.
"If ever a wiz there was..." She just smiled. She was starting to really miss the Hellmouth...and that said a lot. Forgetting the camera, she just wished that HER Willow could be here to see this version of Giles. They could laugh about this for years.