Coversations With Adult People
by Red
[reviews]
Conversations With Adult People
Red
Joss' folks, I just play...thank you, Joss. OC's belong to me and the elfin' queen.
R
Summary: A night of movie watching ignites an interesting conversation...
BW, duh...An/Xan...Sp/OC, OC/OC...
+++++Summers' Residence+++++
"So, who's coming to the store with me?" Giles looked around the living room. "Come on, now, the snacks are for you."
No one moved.
"I'll go with you, Giles," Dawn said, getting up from her pillows on the floor. "I'm not old or lazy." She shot the Scoobies a look. "Do NOT start the movie without us."
She followed the Englishman out to his car, leaving the rest of the gang staring and glaring.
"I am so NOT old!" Buffy protested, snuggling Willow closer. "Or lazy, hello, slayer here!"
Willow giggled and kissed her softly.
"Not old or lazy, baby," she purred.
"I'm not old," Xander quipped, looking to Spike. "He is, I'm not."
The vampire cocked a brow, fingers stroking his girlfriend's hair.
"I may be old, Chubbs, but you're bloody stupid."
Ariel Morgan giggled and nuzzled Spike.
"You also have way better fashion sense, baby."
"You are lazy." Xander looked at Anya, who didn't flinch. "You are. I had to ask you three times to unclog the toilet last week and it was your fault it was that way to begin with." The ex demon turned to Spike. "No more burrito and onion thingy nights, unless he stays at your place after. I used my entire can of Lysol and it was nearly full."
Willow and Buffy burst into laughter, while Ariel made her best ew face and buried her head in Spike's chest. Xander, now the color of Willow's hair, cleared his throat.
"How about you go get everything ready for when the snacks get back, honey."
She started to answer, stopping when Spike's brow raised.
"Bloody hell," he groaned, turning towards the front window.
Buffy's slayer sense went on alert.
"What is it?" she asked, turning around to eye the window.
Spike sighed and shook his head.
"Don't bother waitin' for the rest of the soddin' group. They're out front, in Jennifer's truck, havin' their own sort of bloody fun."
Xander grinned and jumped up, moving to the window and looking out.
"Xander! Get back over here!" Anya ordered, glaring at him. He quickly complied, rejoining her on the floor.
Buffy looked at Willow, who was looking at her and together, they turned to look out. In front of 1630 Rebello Drive, sat the black hummer of Jennifer Walsh, non-evil daughter of former Initiative head, Maggie Walsh. After watching it for a few seconds, the slayer and her witch noticed the slight rocking motion and grinned.
"Ya know, if Dawnie weren't here," Xander lamented, the smile back on his face. "We could've watched something more, adult."
Spike grinned.
"Ew!" Ariel baulked. "Perv!"
"We could have brought one of ours, sweetie," Anya stated, with a bright smile. "We have several."
Both Buffy and Willow joined Ariel in the, ew face, while Spike laughed at the look on Xander's face.
"An, honey, glasses and bowls."
"It's not just the bit', Chubbs," Spike noted. "I'm sure Rupes wouldn't appreciate the naughty film festival either."
"I dunno," Xander mused. "I bet the G man has watched a few in his time."
Anya nodded. "I agree. I'm sure Giles has seen porn before."
Buffy shivered visably.
"Never, EVER say Giles and porn in the same sentence."
"In fact," Anya continued, ignoring Buffy. "He sort of reminds me of the doctor in the Nurses Go Naughty one, doesn't he, Xander?"
"ANYA!" Buffy and Xander excalimed in unison.
"Gawd, that's just..." Buffy's eyes closed and she shivered harder. "That's just...oh gawd!"
"Agreed, so agreed," Xander added, nodding emphatically.
Willow merely smiled. She wasn't alone. Spike's brow cocked as he looked at Ariel.
"What's that bloody smile for?"
The blonde, former head cheerleader of SunnyDale High tried desperately to hide her dreamy smile, failing as miserably as Willow.
"Will!" Buffy gasped, leaning in to her witch's ear. "That's so gonna cost your butt later, witch."
Willow blushed the color of her hair, squirming on the sofa.
"I dunno," Spike drawled, looking at Buffy with a smirk. "I can see Rupes steppin' in front of the camera with his Willy as the star."
Buffy's eyes widened in horror, but Anya nodded whole heartedly.
"Me, too. One of those classy ones...like a James Bond type where he has to seduce the enemy spy to get information."
Willow stroked Buffy's hair soothingly.
"It's ok, baby, breathe, nice and deep."
Xander giggled.
"What's so funny?" Ariel asked.
"Giles..."Xander tried to get it out between giggles..."Can you see him?" He cleared his throat and slipped into a bad british accent. "Dear lord, do you have any of these condoms in tweed?"
Spike laughed...loud...and he wasn't alone. Ariel giggled madly, along with Anya and Willow and Buffy broke out into such a fit, she nearly fell off the sofa. Xander went on.
"I do say, your name is Candi? I rather believe the proper spelling is C-A-N-D-Y."
"Oh gawd, stop, please," Buffy begged, holding her sides.
He didn't.
"What's this? I'm supposed to slip my manly love tool where? I'm afraid I rather do not know what a, sweet nest of honey, is."
"Bloody hell!" Spike roared and Ariel giggled so hard, she coughed.
Xander, now on a roll, grinned proudly and continued.
"Bloody hell! What is this floating in my tea? Dear lord, I didn't order whipped cream!"
"Ew!!!!!!!!!!!! Xander!" Willow gasped, laughing now as hard as Buffy, Anya, Spike and Ariel.
"John...I fear I don't know any, Johns," Xander clepped, lost in the role. "Good lord, you are rather...flexible, aren't you, luv? Would you like some tea? There's whipped cream in it."
"Xander, please," Willow begged, her sides aching.
"Yes, honey, I'm going to pee my pants," Anya choked out, rolling around on the floor.
Xander widened his eyes as he went in for the finale.
"Excuse me? What was that? Good heavens, pooty tang? What sort of demon is that?"
With that said, Xander himself fell over next to his girlfriend, laughing so hard, his face was as red as Willow's hair. Spike fell out of his chair, bringing Ariel with him, both in such a fit of laughter, neither cared that they had fallen. On the sofa, Willow and Buffy were gasping for sweet breath, neither able to stop laughing long enough to get but a little one.
"Looks like we missed the party, darling," Chanel Monroe-Walsh purred, standing in the Summers' hall.
Jennifer Walsh grinned, brow raised, her hand on her wife's bum.
"Looks like fun, but not as much as ours, baby."
Chanel blushed to match her hair as Jennifer led her into the living room, plopping down in a chair and pulling her wife into her lap.
"So," Jennifer mused, eyeing the giggling bunch as she rubbed Chanel's back. "Anyone wanna let us in on the funny?"
+++++
"Dear lord, Dawn, we are not feeding an army, there are just eight of us," Giles groaned, arms full of Wal Mart bags.
"Hello, one of them is Xander," the youngest Summers pointed out, opening the door for him, several bags in her own hands.
The Englishman paused a moment, cocking a brow.
"Good point."
The door opened and both he and Dawn were greeted by the sounds of very hearty laughter. Closing the door, Dawn hurried to see what was going on, Giles following.
"Dear lord, what in heavens is going on?" he inquired, looking around the room.
The Scoobies looked at him, all laughter stopping, then at each other. For a moment, no one said a word, then Anya broke the silence.
"You do know what a sweet nest of honey is, don't you, Giles?"