Thirteen Steps -3- Gravity
by Valyssia
Bharat Natyam
[reviews]
Buffy and Willow both left Dawn's company. Hitting their room for gear first, they set out to search for food and enjoy some more time alone together. Once they finished eating, Buffy just wanted to stretch out on Bernadine and enjoy a quiet ride. Willow went along with the condition that Buffy recall she had a passenger. Buffy saw no reason to think she might forget the witch anytime soon. She took a slow easy route home that involved a lot more winding back roads than busy thoroughfares.
Arriving home, they stole back off to Buffy's room.
Willow sat on the bed considering the Slayer for a moment and said, "I feel pretty yucky all things considered. Would you mind if I took another bath?"
"Not at all," Buffy admitted. "I could actually use one myself. We can go in turns; you first. I'll find you some pajamas." She began to fish through her chest of drawers as Willow stole off into the bathroom. A few moments later, the Slayer knocked on the open door and entered the bathroom too. Pulling up the small stool, she sat down and studied Willow.
Willow didn't move. She sat there with her eyes closed just enjoying the hot bubbly water and waiting for Buffy to speak.
Buffy stayed still, taking the redhead's hand in her own. She was honestly a bit numb; it had been a long tiring day. A thousand questions flitted in and out of her mind. She couldn't focus on one long enough to ask. I feel like I just walked into the middle of a David Lynch film, she thought, chuckling and sighing to herself.
Finally, Willow opened her eyes, sensing movement and smiled. She picked up the washcloth and squeezed some of the fragrant soap onto it.
Buffy snatched it out of the witch's hands and Willow leaned forward. "Wow, your back is one-thousand times better. It should be totally clear by tomorrow." She washed the redhead's back; handing her the cloth when she was done.
Willow smiled at the Slayer and said, "It's you...all of the contact we've had over the course of the last day... I have this ability to sort of borrow qualities from other people if I need. Over time, I've also found I can share bits of myself, too. Anyway...it's sort of unique. I haven't met any other humans that could share powers. Must be a demon thing left over from Rack," she said as she settled back into the tub.
Buffy smiled warmly and left her to finish in peace. Once Willow was done, Buffy grabbed a quick shower and dressed for bed. She entered the bedroom to find Willow curled up on the bed. Sitting down next to the redhead, she asked, "Did you kiss me?"
Willow looked up at the Slayer and responded with a simple, "Yes."
"So if I understand what happened correctly, that would cause me to conclude that you are in love with me. The real question is though, for how long?" Buffy searched the other woman's face for an answer.
"For as long as I've known you," Willow answered honestly.
Buffy smiled and reached down to touch the witch's face. Cupping her cheek, she asked, "Why didn't you tell me?" Though she already knew the answer.
Willow looked up into the Slayer's face and said frankly, "Because it would have changed us. I couldn't see any good coming from it, so I buried what I felt. I placed the energy into the friendship...let it turn to deep affection for you. I've done that for years. Xander and I both have. That's why we're here. We both follow you because we are in love with you. He could as easily have kissed you as I. I told him not to." Willow finished with a deep sigh.
With this, Buffy bent down to kiss Willow gently. "I love you both too. Xander is someone that I will always have a close friendship with even if he is a pain at times. I guess you figured the remainder of this out for yourself." Buffy smiled as she looked down at the redhead. She stroked the hair away from her face.
Willow moved to sit up and face Buffy. She pulled the Slayer into a hug and held her for a moment, just enjoying the warmth. Then she pulled back and took her hands saying, "I know you have a lot of questions about me. That's totally understandable. For now, I can give you something if you are willing to accept it. It might help you figure out some of what's troubling you." She studied the Slayer's face for an answer.
Buffy looked into the witch's eyes and nodded.
"I will need for you to listen to my voice and follow me. Don't leave me, please," Willow said, continuing to study Buffy's face.
The Slayer, feeling almost tearful, said, "I promise."
Willow began to concentrate on Buffy, channeling some of herself into the Slayer. In a voice just above a whisper, she said, "Relax...breathe steadily...slowly...let me in... I won't hurt you...close your eyes and clear your mind...move with me." She felt the Slayer's breathing become more slow and deliberate as her body relaxed.
Willow focused herself through Buffy and in harmony they reached out across the room first...together, they took a pencil out of the cup on Buffy's desk and moved it steadily to the bedside table. Then, Willow guided the other woman with her and together they left the room, "Stay with me...hold my hands...don't let go."
They drifted over the open country for a time, just enjoying the sensations. Willow reached out again; she was looking for something...searching the terrain. Sensing her goal, she directed Buffy to follow. They landed on a roof; there was a man there. He was in tears, looking over the edge. The pain in him was cutting, like a knife. Below him, people were starting to gather and point in horror.
"Reach out and touch him Buffy. Feel what he feels...He's lost a child to a terrible injury. I can feel it inside him. Focus on him and soothe that pain. You have it in you to do this...trust yourself...ease his suffering," Willow steadied the Slayer, guiding her to touch the man's mind. After a few moments, he slowly withdrew from the precipice, still sobbing, and turned to the door.
"Now, follow me..." Willow took the Slayer's hands in hers...they drifted back home together, settling back into their own bodies. The witch opened her eyes and looked at Buffy, saying, "Come back to me."
Buffy's eyes opened. As she tried to right herself, she softly said, "Was that real, Willow? Was I dreaming?"
Without looking, Willow reached over to the nightstand and picked up the pencil, handing it to Buffy. "You tell me," she said with a small smile.
"So that man was real?" The Slayer fought to get her mind around what had happened.
"...And you just saved his life. Yes, Buffy, it was real." She closed her eyes for a moment and focused. "He's walking home right now. Things are still not right for him, but he will heal." Willow smiled warmly at her friend.
"Do you understand?" Willow looked at Buffy, studying the pensive look on the woman's face.
Buffy nodded and started to cry.
Willow drew the Slayer up to her and stoked her hair. She began to speak in a soft voice, trying to soothe the confusion. "Remember me telling you back in your room in Sunnydale that it's all connected? It is...you just have to learn to listen...to feel the world around you. In a very real way, you and I are similar."
"You have a power that you did not ask for. You fight to control it and do the right thing. I asked for the power I have and found that once I knew it, I would have been happy to return the greater part of it. The root of that is what I did to gain it, though. It was my fault. I brought the nightmare on myself and then begged to give it back. I'm more comfortable in myself now than I've been since... It was a struggle to make myself right with what I did and what I'd become." She continued to hold Buffy and caress her back.
"It would be so much easier if we could just shove our respective demons back into the box and simply live as plain old Willow and Buffy, but we can't. The one thing you can never have is a 'rewind' button." Willow released the Slayer and caught her eyes, giving her a weak smile.
"Now will you talk with me about what happened today? I need to know how you feel." Willow brushed a stray hair out of Buffy's eyes with her hand and cupped her cheek.
"I'm surprised you don't know." Buffy smiled warmly at the witch.
Willow smiled. "I can't read minds, Buffy. I can only get impressions from the people around me. I can feel that you love me, but I've felt that for years. Only you can say what that means to you."
"Then how did you know about that man?" Buffy looked confused again.
"I felt the accident happen several days ago, before you and I were together. It was horrible. I followed him as I could and as a result, knew what he meant to do tonight. He didn't know I was there. I took you with me to help you as well." Willow smiled gently. "You needed the understanding as much as he needed to be touched by something loving and strong."
Buffy considered this, working it through in her mind. "So, you're empathic?"
Willow smiled. "Yeah... That's what they call it."
"But...you don't read minds? Oh! Thank God!" Buffy broke into a broad smile.
"You're avoiding the question, Buffy. Please answer me. Are you in love with me?" Willow gave the Slayer a firm look.
"Starting to be...I dunno, Will. This is all pretty new to me. Well, actually, it's brand spanking new to me. You've been with me. You know the relationships in my past as well as I do...much with the pain and the drama even when I tried to date the normal ones. Relationships scare me after all I've seen. It frightens me to think that if we did go down this path we might end badly and then...well it would be a major two for the price of one loss for me. In fact, it might even kill me." Buffy looked up at the redhead, wearing an expression on her face of extreme emotional pain and conflict.
"Then, there's the obvious gender thing. I never saw myself as anything other than straight. I'd like to be a normal one of the girls on some level, but that's probably just a cop out. There's also part of me that sort of begs for more when you touch me. Maybe I need Prozac?" She couldn't help but chuckle a bit at this.
Willow looked thoughtfully back at Buffy; "I can't help you with the gender part...not a boy...never will be...think you got that. But I can tell you that after all we've seen together...all of the pain and strife... And you've definitely seen me at my worst; I think we could recover from even a broken relationship. I would never go into this thinking that it might end. If I considered it that way, I wouldn't have the heart to begin. Though, if it started, failed, and we were left with the pieces, the love we have for one another would still be there." With this, she pulled Buffy into another hug.
Buffy smiled and said, "I suppose you're right."
"Got anymore fears I can invalidate?" Willow laughed.
"Plenty! Where you want me to start, Will?" Buffy chuckled.
"Look, Buffy, I understand being afraid of new things. I wasn't exactly one hundred percent fearless when my relationship with Tara was developing. New is scary. You just have to ask yourself if the end can justify the means. Is there something there that makes the risk worth taking? It's totally that simple. Then, you work to find peace in it...whichever way you choose." Willow offered her friend a look of complete confidence with these words. Then she turned and, pulling the covers back, slid into bed.
Willow looked distant. Pulling herself back, she continued, "Tara and I actually fought once because she was afraid I might change my mind about my sexual preference. Like that's even remotely possible. I suppose all couples go through something like that, but it's harder when the relationship is outside what we like package up and sell as 'normal'. It's not about what other people think. It's always got to be about what you feel. If you feel something is wrong, for Goddess sake don't do it! If it feels like the right thing, then you're probably correct in following your instincts."
Buffy moved to lie down as well as she considered what Willow had said. She knew her friend was right about everything. She knew she felt lots and many times better just for Willow's presence in her life. Funny how things seem to fall apart and then stick back together with her involvement... or lack-there-of... She was a sort of catalyst for positive change within the group.
Willow watched the Slayer as her mind worked. She almost felt bad for interrupting, but she was curious. "So, have you ever found any other women attractive?"
"Sure... All the time...there are even a few of the Jr. Slayers here at Slayer Incorporated that I think are cute as hell. That doesn't mean I'd ever act on it. It would take something pretty amazing to make me bend that way. I suppose that might be the fear talking though. I mean, I've never looked at another woman and fallen into some deep fantasy about what she'd be like in bed. Though I did always kinda wonder about Faith... It was that bad girl thing. I've been known to have a serious taste for the badness and she had it going on in spades." Buffy blushed a bit at this admission.
"So, it's a matter of feeling strongly enough to act?" Willow raised an eyebrow and turned onto her side propping her head in her hand.
"I guess so." Buffy said in a pensive voice then grinned. With no warning, she flipped the redhead onto her back.
Willow gasped.
Buffy began to work at the buttons on the witch's top. She pulled her up to a sitting position and removed the garment. The Slayer removed her own shirt and drew the witch into a hug, kissing her softly on the shoulder. Working her way up the other woman's neck and jaw line then finally coming to rest on her mouth, she kissed her deeply. Their tongues and lips massaging each other gently... teeth nipping lips... drinking... devouring... savoring each other's flavor...
Willow turned and pushed Buffy down on the bed. Not breaking the kiss, she began to caress the Slayer's soft skin with her hands; exploring the other woman's body. Placing her lips against the slayer's neck, Willow began nibbling at the soft flesh lightly with her teeth. She heard Buffy moan. It was an almost guttural sound that made the hair on Willow's body stand on end. Goose bumps! Oh my! She grinned to herself.
Willow laid herself on Buffy's chest and began to kiss her deeply once again. As she did, Willow brought her leg up a rested it in Buffy's crotch. Together, the couple began to writhe against each other; goading each other on...excitement building between them. Their breathing became more heavy and strained...
Willow looked into Buffy's eyes and softly said, "I love you."
Buffy smiled sweetly and said the same...
Willow dropped down on the bed and began to remove Buffy's pajama pants and underwear. Buffy raised her hips and allowed the witch to pull the clothing off her. Willow couldn't help herself; she stopped, sitting at the foot of the bed, and just stared. "My goddess, you are beautiful." She said very matter-of-factly.
Buffy felt herself blush a little as Willow sat and considered her.
While she was up, Willow removed her own lower clothing as well and then returned to lie next to Buffy. She extinguished the small lamp on the nightstand as she moved.
Willow lowered her head and kissed Buffy again; resuming the gentle motion with her thigh tucked between the slayer's legs. Buffy moaned approvingly and raised her own thigh to meet Willow. Their kisses took on a more fiery air as they went. Willow broke away from Buffy's mouth and turned her head to kiss her soft neck. The kissing quickly took on a hunger that more resembled biting. Willow heard Buffy growl...
Following the curve of her neck down, Willow moved to Buffy's breasts. Playing kisses all around the soft mounds of flesh, she finally settled at her right nipple and began to use her tongue, lips and teeth to play with the tightly peaked bud. She felt a slight twinge of pain as Buffy ran her nails across her back. Oh, that was perfect. Willow thought, grinning internally.
Willow continued to move down Buffy's body, nipping, sucking and licking the beautiful flesh. She then nestled herself between Buffy's legs and began to kiss her firm thighs.
Buffy's hands immediately shot up and grabbed for the headboard. The bed shuddered as she latched on like she was reaching for a lifeline after falling off a ship. Her body arched a little and Willow used the moment to lean down and kiss Buffy's sex. Very softly... very tenderly at first... start slow and build... Willow thought to herself. She began to softly caress the folds of skin...tasting her...savoring her...Willow's toes curled.
My goddess! So sweet... so warm... Willow sucked gently on the tiny nerve bundle... Buffy's body tensed with pleasure. Willow licked and kissed the soft piece of flesh, listening to the moans of delight that rolled out of her lover's mouth. It was delicious... She slowly increased the pressure with her lips and tongue until the first wave overtook the Slayer and her body clenched with bliss.
Slowing her pace a bit, Willow softened the pressure to give Buffy some time to recover. Then she carefully placed her hand under her chin and slipped a finger inside her friend...her lover... The slayer tensed with this and her back arched off the bed. Willow explored with her fingertips, feeling the knurled flesh at the entrance and working her way carefully past the mass. Mother Nature is a curious architect, Willow considered as she dug her toes into the footboard and began to move rhythmically, teasing both of the very tender spots...Buffy let out another moan...this time she clearly said, "Willow..."
The Slayer panted loudly, crying a bit as she did...moving with Willow... grinding...twitching...pulsing... The cadence slowly increased... Willow felt her lover begin to submit.
Funny how my hand always seems to cramp right at the wrong moment, Willow mused wryly, ignoring the pain.
She pulled her mind off of this and moved it to Buffy, willing the chakras in her body open. She moved within, touching the sacred centers with her mind. She could feel the light building...touch it... feel it...it was beautiful and warm...and then came the rush. She watched these centers connect, shoot open and emit a double helix of soft blue light as Buffy convulsed beneath her.
Willow froze this energy for just a moment; long enough to look...to play...to bask in it with her mind's eye... She felt the slayer's body clenching... writhing... holding... convulsing against her... pressing in on her hand... The energy licked and danced.
She had learned to think of it as a little serpent. It would rise up above the crown of her lover's head and open its pretty hood; looking more like a halo than a cobra. Willow mentally tickled it under the chin before bidding it return home and rest. When it was gone, Buffy collapsed in a heap on the bed, smiling thickly and twitching.
Willow moved up to hold Buffy and kiss her softly.
Buffy caught Willow in her gaze and asked, "How'd you do that?"
Willow grinned. "Do what?"
"Make that last so long." Buffy replied, looking utterly bewildered.
Willow just raised an eyebrow and chucked softly.
She trailed off into her thoughts. She would have to share the struggle she had gone through after Xander brought her back to them with that little 'yellow crayon broken by childhood carelessness' very soon. A small tear slid down her face as she steadied herself. She had embraced the eastern philosophies after that terrible day. She liked the talk of inner peace and tranquility. It appealed to her...really, she needed it. She poured over book after book learning the meditation techniques...mastering them...mastering the monster in her as best she could. She understood that there's only so much one can learn from the printed page though. She needed to be immersed in the culture...to experience with all of her senses... Yes, very soon I will have to find the courage to have that talk...to admit my mistakes. Buffy deserves to know.
After a moment, Buffy reached out and gently touched the side of the witch's face. Looking directly into her eyes, somewhat concerned by the silence, Buffy said, "I love you."
Willow smiled softly at this and said, "And I love you."
Without warning, Buffy flipped Willow onto her back. Willow gasped a little, feeling just a touch of that fabled slayer strength bubble to the surface. Oh, this is going to be interesting... The thought flitted across the witch's mind as an evil little smile formed on her lips... Buffy was already starting to kiss and stroke her body... The slayer's hand felt strong and warm on her skin.
Willow shuddered, closing her eyes and reaching out with her mind. She could feel how Buffy was feeling now. A sense of joy coupled quite curiously with a sense of uncertainty. Willow worked to pacify the latter, trying to lay the restless mind at ease.
Buffy was still not sure of herself, but she wanted so badly to see the witch squirm and writhe in ecstasy that she had started not to care about uncertainty; she would just do what came naturally. Physical things had always been easy for her. She kissed Willow deeply, caressing her pale skin, moving her hands up and down Willow's body.
Buffy tilted her head slightly, pressing her warm lips against the witch's soft neck in a kiss and teasing her lovely ears. The passion increased between them as she went. Willow began to grind against the Slayer's leg. The warmth and wetness of her was almost intoxicating. Buffy felt an overwhelming need to feel this more closely. She dipped her hand down between the witch's legs and, without warning, inserted two fingers into her lover. Willow cried out with pleasure.
The slayer began to move herself in time with Willow's pulsing body as she kissed her way down to the witch's chest. She moved her tongue across Willow's firm breasts. Catching a nipple between her warm lips, she began to suckle... tease it... bite it ever so gently...then more firmly.
Willow moaned as the pressure increased. Buffy caught the witch's other nipple between her fingers and started to pull and play with the lovely pink mass. Raising her head and body back up without interrupting the cadence, she caught Willow in a deep kiss, silencing her cries.
Buffy moved her left hand to Willow's cheek. Cupping her lover's face, she gazed at her, trying to capture this moment in her memory...working to freeze it so she could pull it out later and examine it. It was precious...she knew it was...
Feeling Buffy watching her intently, Willow opened her eyes and caught the Slayer's stare...holding it...still breathing deeply...moaning...sighing...
The pressure was building. The Slayer could feel it...she hastened her pace, deftly sliding a third finger into Willow as she went. The witch's eyes closed as she growled out, "Buffy!"
Buffy thought to herself, my God. She could feel Willow bending to meet her will...the cadence quickening...building...it was finally all just too much. Willow exploded with pleasure. Buffy didn't slow or stop... She wanted this to last as long as it could. Willow's back was arched...she was convulsing...with near desperation, Willow reached for Buffy's shoulders and drug in, holding on for dear life. Buffy felt the muscles inside the witch clamp down over and over on her hand...she pulled and teased as long as the dance lasted...willing it to go on and on. Willow finally crumpled and lay still, exhausted.
Buffy let her hand relax, removing it gently. Lying down on Willow, Buffy put her left hand between the witch's breasts and rested her chin there, studying her. She sighed and smiled contently. Absentmindedly, she raised her right hand to her face and breathed in the musky smell. A small shiver rose up her spine. God that smells good, she thought, and inattentively placed her index finger just between her parted lips.
Willow reached for the Slayer and pulled her up. Engaging in a deep, passionate kiss, she rolled them both onto their sides.
Embracing, they both lay there and simply studied each other for a time.
It was Buffy that finally broke the silence with a single word. "Again?" She asked. Smiling wolfishly, she reached over to snag her bottle of water from the bedside table and then sipped at it. She held the bottle out to Willow.
"I'd rather talk," Willow said, her face contemplative as she lay considering how to begin. She gratefully took the drink Buffy offered her, passing the bottle back when she was done.
Buffy leaned in, kissing Willow softly. She cupped the witch's face in her hands and studied it. "What's wrong, dear?"
"Nothing more than there was before. It's time I was honest with you. Anything less now seems like an insult. You need to know what happened between Kennedy and me... You deserve to know," Willow looked as if she might cry.
"You don't have to tell me, Will." Buffy looked deeply concerned by the sudden gravity in the room.
"Just let me tell you. I'll be okay... I swear," Willow said, calming herself and considering how to begin. She sighed deeply and decided to start at the beginning just letting the story play out to its fullest. "You know when and how we left Sunnydale. Well, from there, when we split to go our separate ways, I left with Kennedy for India. I needed to get a handle on the monster I carried around with me. I was scaring myself and I needed to learn some more control badly."
"I knew that Oz had found peace in eastern philosophy and meditations, so...having done as much with the books as I could... Kennedy and I landed in New Delhi and began a journey together. We took a bus from there to a little town called Patna." Willow paused to breathe. A tear trickled down her face as she did.
"You see, the trouble with being the scourge of the underworld is...you are just that. Every sort of evil being wanted my head for what we'd done. So, Kennedy and I were attacked in Patna by a band of demons. We were losing and I thought that surely we were going to die. All I remember is tapping into the strongest human I could touch with my mind. It was all purely reaction. We lived, but Kennedy was dead for a month or so...not really dead...it was a mystical death. It's because of me that it happened and I'll never make it up to her." Willow was openly weeping as she finished.
Buffy considered this for only a moment before answering, "Willow, I'd say that, regardless how it happened, Kennedy should be grateful to you for saving her life in the end."
"You've felt what it's like when I gently drain you. Imagine all of your life's energy running out of you at once and think about trying to forgive the one that did that to you. Would you ever want to occupy the same room with them again, Buffy?" Willow said frankly. "I'm still a bit leery of touching people that way. I have to be very careful. It takes lots of self control," the witch admitted.
"I don't have to imagine that, Will," Buffy paused, letting that thought sink in before she continued.
Willow caught the serious gaze of the Slayer and simply nodded to confirm she understood.
"Besides, you touched me that way over and over today. What's so different?" Buffy was genuinely curious as she voiced this.
"I'm not sure... I think part of it is the level of understanding you and I have. I know you as well as I've ever known anyone in my life except Xander. The other part is I know the strength you have. Buffy, you're the strongest person I've ever known, though somehow you've managed to remain very soft and vulnerable at the same time. You're unique and truly amazing." Willow sniffed as she collected her thoughts. "The rest of it is that I was exhausted today. I needed you to do the job. Without you, we would have never succeeded. I relied on your strength to see me through."
Buffy smiled warmly. "Would you like to continue your story, or do you need to sleep?" She pulled Willow into a hug and stroked the side of her head.
"I'd like to finish, then sleep until I don't need sleep anymore," Willow said, giving Buffy a weak smile.
Willow collected her thoughts and continued, "I took Kennedy to a local shaman and he confirmed that her soul hadn't moved on. She was in a sort of mystical coma; I suppose is the best way to put it. So I did the only thing I could do; I hid us both away and sat feeding her until she was strong enough to travel."
"I think she's with Faith's unit in Cleveland now, but I'm not sure. The shaman I met was nice enough to arrange a stay at a monastery in Nepal for me. I traveled there by night as a vapor cloud, stopping to sleep during the day wherever I could. I couldn't travel by normal means because that leaves a paper trail to follow. It took me a few weeks to commute this way and I avoided people as much as I could during my journey," she paused again to steady herself and reached over to take a drink out of the remaining water bottle on the nightstand.
"From there, it's pretty straight-forward. Lots of practice...lots of work...lots of pain. Enlightenment through pain and self-sacrifice...big theme with these people...I threw it all away..."
"I traveled into China several months after leaving the monastery, moving as a vapor cloud by night again. I didn't feel safe, but I felt better alone. I left there once to come see you. The coven was kind enough to help me handle passage. Now, I'm really best if I can find a quiet hour during the day to continue those practices." Willow sighed and wiped under her eyes as she finished the story.
"Well, sweetheart, if what it takes for you to be healthy is one hour out of twenty-four to meditate, I'd call that an easy price to live with. As long as you are with me, you'll have it. I'll even meditate with you, if I'm welcome. You can share that with me too. I could use to get focusy myself," Buffy responded truthfully.
.
Willow smiled warmly at Buffy, saying, "I'd like that."
"So you didn't contact me because you were afraid you might hurt me?" Buffy concluded pensively.
"Yes, Buffy... I was afraid for both you and Xander. In fact, I was afraid for anyone else I was around with normal levels of magickal talent." Willow continued with a soft sigh, "I finally returned to the coven because I knew that the ladies there have a natural defense against me. It was much easier for me to be around them, magickal people that is, when my journey came to an end." Willow was still a bit weepy, but she had begun to steel herself against it again.
"Do you plan to tell the others?" Buffy asked.
"I'm not sure I'll ever be able to tell Xander the truth, but I get the sense that Giles already knows. It's just a feeling, really. I'd rather just let Xander come to his own conclusions for now. Maybe in time I'll be able to tell him the full story." Willow fell silent, closing her eyes.
Buffy pulled Willow close to her, caressing her back as she spoke. "Thank you for trusting me, dear. I love you."
"This was never about trust, Buffy...it was a matter of my finding the strength to admit the truth." With this, Willow kissed the Slayer and drifted slowly off to sleep.
"Good night, sweetheart," Buffy said softly, shutting her eyes.