Softly
by UrbanGoth
[reviews]
TITLE: Softly
AUTHOR: Megan
RATING: PG-13? (I still don't get these American ratings.) For language. Well, once anyway.
WARNINGS: No spoilers. No Violence. No sex. You might as well stop reading right now *grins*.
FEEDBACK: Oh, go on then.
THE USUAL: I do not own. I just don't.
NOTES: Text encased in ************ is flashback.
EXTRA NOTES: The title of this fic comes from the song of the same, 'Softly' by Lamb. It's a wonderful song.
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Naturally, after leaving Sunnydale in one piece, the gang had traveled a lot from place to place, rarely settling. The longest they'd spent in one place was the first month when they all stopped for some well-earned R&R and the biggest party Xander had ever threatened.
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"C'mon, Buffster! You gotta party! It's now or never!" Xander wandered back off into the crowd.
They had come across a street party round the back end of the Bay Bridge, east of San Francisco. It was a bit of a dumping ground but whoever decided to put on this little shindig hadn't cut back. The main bulk of the party was centred around a group of boathouses, all the dark terracotta colour of rusted iron. There was different music coming from each of them - a bit of reggae at the furthest along, some trance was pounding away to her left and a selection of remixed 'favourites' from the largest and, in Buffy's critical opinion, sturdiest. She stuck with that one deciding that if she was gonna dance, then it would be to something she knew how to dance to.
She strolled through the partygoers, idly sipping whatever drink Xander had brought her. Dawn was off with the other slayers doing her thing. 'Other slayers,' she mused. She used to dream of letting it all go, of not being the person who was solely responsible for Sunnydale, let alone the world. It felt weird to think that there was now enough slayers now to populate Sunnydale. 'And some'.
She perused the bodies around her. Most of the others were dancing and drinking, really letting loose. The last time they had really let go was when Faith had taken them to the Bronze to 'let off some steam'. Buffy shook her head sadly remembering how she too had let off steam. 'Like a boiling frickin' kettle,' she thought. She realized that, yes, fair enough, they were now fully-fledged slayers but not one of them would know the pressure she was under taking care of them all. She sighed inwardly. 'Not one of them will ever know just how much I cared about them all.'
As she stood in the crowd surveying the party, she spotted Kennedy dancing with Willow. 'Man, is she lucky,' she thought, as Willow wrapped her arms around the exotic newbie, imagining herself in Kennedy's shoes. The witch spotted her over her girlfriend's shoulder and waved. Buffy grinned, happy to see Willow so full of life. 'This is what I save the world for.'
She took another sip of her drink, watching as Willow dragged Kennedy over to her by the arm.
"You gonna come dance with us, Buffy?" she asked between breaths.
"Nah," she said, waving them off. "I think I'll leave you two to it for the mo'. Haven't really got my dancin' shoes on."
"C'mon, Buffy," Kennedy interjected, and then waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "Three can party even better than two."
Buffy laughed and saw Willow roll her eyes exaggeratedly at her girlfriend's A) behaviour and B) 'spirit level'. She, like many of the other new slayers, had a relatively low number of experiences when it came to doing the big and grown up drinking thing. She hadn't taken it terribly steadily. 'Still,' thought Buffy, 'she's not as bad as Dawn.'
As if summoned by her very thoughts, the younger Summers appeared from behind them, throwing an arm over the two slayers' shoulders.
"Buffy, this is GREAT! Y'know, I know you had all these responsibilities and stuff back in Sunny D and that you were, like, the heap big chief slayer an' all but you really didn't kick back enough. I NEVER thought you'd take us somewhere like this! I mean this is so COOL but isn't it, like, Faith's part of the gig?" She took a swig from her drink and grinned drunkenly at Buffy, who would have been annoyed were it not so endearing.
She was slightly irked at the Faith comment, (who wouldn't be, right) but tried to think of it as proof that there was a possibility that they could, maybe, become friends again one day. The way she saw it, Faith was the one they went to for a good time, for some relaxation, for the sex talk, hell, even for sex, as far as she'd gathered. But Buffy was the one they came to for advice and support and comfort. They each held their own with training, Faith providing insight into one side of the fence, Buffy the other. It was like left wing and right wing finally coming together to fly the damn plane. She laughed quietly to herself at the idea.
"It is cool, isn't it?" Kennedy turned to Dawn in agreement. "I mean, I've been to parties before but nothing like this."
"Soooo," she drawled, turning back to Buffy, "are you gonna come and dance with us?"
"Ooh! I will! I haven't danced in, like, a half a minute!" Dawn volunteered.
"Okay, you're in! Buffy?" She asked a final time.
"Nah. You guys go ahead with your youthful energy thing. I need to head to the bar, anyway. M'all dry," she said, raising her empty cup. Willow, noting her cupless hands, figured she'd left her drink somewhere over at the south building around a half-hour ago and put herself forward to accompany Buffy to where the refills were.
"Yeah, me too, sweetie. Much as I love it, you're kinda tiring me out here. You're all with the slayer stamina. I'm without," Willow pouted.
"Aww... Okay, baby, but you gotta promise me another dance before we go, yeah?"
"Sure," Willow replied and leaned in to kiss Kennedy soundly on the lips.
"Yecch! Get a room!" Dawn shouted and dragged Kennedy off to the dance floor. Willow, laughing, turned to catch up with Buffy at the mobile bar.
"Jack and lemonade, please, but just a little lemonade," the witch ordered, paying swiftly. "So definitely a no-go with the boogies?"
Buffy leaned back against the bar. "Just can't seem to get into the swing of it," she admitted sadly.
Willow, slightly shocked, reprimanded her best friend.
"What!? .... Who are you and what have you done with my favourite slayer?" Getting nothing back from Buffy but a short chuckle, Willow built on that. "C'mon, Buffy! We've been friends for like 7, 8 years and the Buffy I know after we save the world do-"
"Again."
"Yes, again, thank you. She doesn't just save it and go to bed! Remember: 'we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party.'"
Buffy nodded, remembering Xander's words of encouragement.
"That was the way it was. We'd always go to the Bronze and 'get down with our funky selves'," Willow said whilst doing a brief, and really bad, rendition of the 'swim'.
Buffy giggled.
"C'mon, Buff. You would always dance with me. We just kicked some major bad guy bee-hind and now, as balance, we need a major bad ass party to celebrate." She nudged the shorter girl with her shoulder and pouted. "Please?" She wheedled. "For me?"
The slayer smirked and took a decisive swig of her cocktail. She knew as soon as Willow started this campaign to get her dancing that she'd give in pretty quickly but now, with the alcohol playing with her inhibitions and the general good feeling that was accompanying the night, she barely even put up a fight.
"Okay, Will. You win. Where are we headed?" Sucking heartily on her straw, she finished the Tequila Sunrise she had been drinking, praying to God it didn't give her chest freeze and held out her hand to the redhead.
"Now you're talkin'," she said. Throwing back the rest of the drink and ignoring the glimmer of surprise she saw fly over Buffy's features, she took the offered hand.
Leading the way for a change, Willow gripped it tightly to her, weaving effortlessly through the dancing masses. Feeling slightly heady, she ran her free hand through her hair. 'Ooookay. I can do this. It's not like we've never danced together before,' she prepped herself. Course, other times she had never had any... intentions.
She brought them to a part of the dance floor near one of the speakers reasoning that it was good for space and nothing at all to do with the fact that Kennedy physically couldn't take being so close to them yet, what with enhanced hearing and all, so there was no chance they'd run into each other. She shook her head, clearing it. It wasn't that she didn't want to be with Kenny; it was just that right then, at that moment in time, she felt daring enough to make Buffy want her.
Twirling as she brought them to halt, she grinned down at her friend and started moving to a clear, easy rhythm, the sort of beat that could see you through the night. She watched as Buffy slowly started to tie the laces on her dancing shoes, silently thanking the powers that be that she could have tonight with her best friend.
Buffy started to get into the rhythm of the song and soon found herself gyrating softly with her arms aimed at the sky. Opposite, she watched Willow alter her style to Buffy's so she could move closer as people began filling the dance floor again. They were pushed together and in the heat of the warehouse were close enough to see the sheen of sweat that they had both worked up, releasing pheromones, exuding sex.
Willow, feeling the alcohol as she danced with one arm around Buffy's neck, caught the slayer's hazel eyes and grinned in a way that Buffy had never before seen. She eyed the slayer rapaciously, running her eyes over her as if she were a restaurant menu, and then quickly twirled away from the slayer again, removing the arm that she had placed possessively around the blonde. She closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip as she moved, letting the music carry her.
Something deep inside of Buffy stirred. She'd realized a long time ago that she had feelings for Willow - something that went beyond the simple desire to protect and love a best friend. She'd realized that Willow was what kept her going, she was the reason she got out of bed in the morning and the reason she really thought about what she was going to wear, silly as it sounded. She had wanted to impress her and always be there for her and take care of her. But seeing her now, her features contorted into one of open pleasure, Buffy found she wanted to see Willow wearing nothing but that expression.
The blond let the song wash over her, soaking in what lyrics she could make out.
'This is happening for you pleasure,
At your leisure.
Use your evil,
When you want.'
She wound her hands around the taller girl's neck, pressing their bodies together, breathing in each other's desire and came to another conclusion. She trailed a hand down Willow's torso a centimetre away from dangerous territory, her gaze flicking from her eyes to her strawberry coated lips; she realized that up until that very moment she never knew just how much she wanted to fuck Willow Rosenburg.
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Now sitting quietly on the roof, calmly overlooking the mouth of the river as it flowed smoothly into the sea, Buffy sighed contentedly. The sun was hovering over the horizon, gently preparing the world for nightfall. She loved it up here. Some days, if luck was on your side, the sun would set the sky on fire and the water below would run pink. Those days had become precious to her over the last year. They had reminded her of Willow, who was shapely like water but blazed like fire.
Feeling a familiar presence behind her, a warmth spread throughout her body. God, had she missed the feeling since it went away! She never noticed before just how strong it was until Willow had decided to leave for Rio with Kennedy. Over the past year, Buffy had felt a longing for her best friend more powerful than she had ever known before. Maybe it was because there was no guarantee that they would see each other again this time whereas before, she had always let Willow do as she would, knowing that she would always get her back.
As the redhead approached from the roof door, Buffy thought back over the many times she'd needed Willow, of the many times she'd saved her and vice versa, and grinned to herself. She knew how Willow felt, of course she did. She knew it from the day she came back from that spell. Willow, in her infinite fairness, had told Buffy just what she had felt that day, even knowing that nothing would come of it and had since barely shown those feelings unless they slipped out when she was unprepared. Buffy sighed. 'Will was always the strong one.' She allowed herself a slight measure of pride, knowing that she was, in part, responsible for that.
Exhaling, she thought about that kiss and kicked herself. It had been so chaste and hurried and nervous and Buffy had reproved herself so many times over the years for not giving it a chance, for letting it be 'just for Willow' and kidding herself into thinking that there wasn't one thing that she didn't do for Willow. Ever since then she had come so close, so close, to kissing her again but stopped herself in the nick of time. The last thing she wanted was to cause Willow any problems in her relationships. Or lead her on, she had thought. Yes, she had wanted more from her friend than that one kiss, she just wasn't sure how much more, and she worried that Willow may have been uncertain of her own feelings.
The soft footsteps behind her hesitated. Buffy grinned again, knowing the internal babble that her friend was probably trying with all her might not to heed.
"Hey, you." Buffy ventured.
She could almost hear the smile spreading across Willow's elfin features.
"Hey yourself. How'd ya know it was me?"
"The smell," Buffy joked, fanning away a stink that wasn't there. It was an exaggerated truth, really. She had noticed the faint aroma of sandalwood and cinnamon, two of (as Buffy knew) Willow's favourite scents, as they traveled on the breeze the moment the roof access was opened.
"Thanks," she heard, by way of reply.
"I was wondering when you'd finally come and see me."
"One of the girls told me where you'd be," Willow informed her, adding: "Well, after some heavy eyebrow work and a few promises that I really am a friend but if it makes her feel any better she can kill me if you don't."
Buffy chuckled and turned to look at Willow, who stood cross-armed looking down at the slayer, a soft grin warming her features. Her hair had been left unmonitored over the course of the day and as such displayed a good couple of kinks here and there. It fell loosely around her bare shoulders and the flame-coloured ends stood out against the earthy green sweater that hung from her slight frame. The breeze lightly fanned at her shirt, wafting it up to reveal a sliver of alabaster skin - a sharp contrast to the dark blue of the denim jeans she wore. Buffy again marveled slightly at how much her best friend had changed from a shy, bookish geek to an incredible, beautiful woman over the years. But she couldn't have said she was surprised. Willow was the one person she always looked for in a room. She'd watched her grow and loved every inch of Willow, every step of the way, from the girl she met to the woman who stood before her.
"Yeah, that'll be Hayley. She's... uh... protective." Buffy admitted, quashing a grin.
Willow snorted, letting a little jealousy leak out. "Yeah, I'll bet that's what it is. She's just watching your lower back." She raised an eyebrow and smirked at her friend, knowing full well that Buffy knew what she was insinuating.
Deciding to test the water, Buffy admonished the witch. "Hey, may I remind you that you were quite protective of my lower back at one point, too."
"That may well be," admitted Willow, "but I didn't go around threatening your friends."
The slayer feigned contemplation. "True," she offered, and they shared a gentle giggle.
Buffy blinked through the hazy evening light with a kind smile for her friend.
"C'mere," she said, patting the concrete next to her.
Willow lowered herself to the roof, splaying her hands out behind her and resting back on them. She gazed heavy-lidded at the sunset.
"It's beautiful up here, Buffy."
"Mmm," Buffy conceded. She too was looking out over the sea. "This is what swung it for me. Everyone was arguing the positive and negative and I just needed some air. I came up here and, voila — decision made."
"I can see why."
They fell into a comfortable silence, Buffy sat lotus, Willow lowering herself further back to rest on her elbows and forearms, each thinking their own thoughts.
The witch closed her eyes against the brightening sun, letting it wash over her. She had been waiting for a day when they could do this. Just sit and be. She relaxed into the sun's rays as they caressed her limbs and thought of the mutual understanding that seemed to sit between the two of them. Willow was well aware that Buffy had an idea of her feelings for her, just as Buffy knew that Willow could feel her attraction to the redhead whenever she forgot to curb her desire for an instant.
Willow shivered internally as she remembered the look she kept seeing in Buffy's eyes the last time they danced. They way her expression would flicker between lust and happiness and nervous expectation. She was no fool. She had noticed the hunger for her that Buffy had fought.
That's all she pegged it down to though, lust. There was no way the witch could know if it was love or not. Whenever she thought about it she just chalked it up to curiosity. Course, there were occasions where she would engage the odd fantasy... She grinned naughtily. However, Buffy had never expressed any wish to be with Willow so Willow, despite the candle that she would always hold for Buffy, had learned to live with that over the years.
She inhaled deeply, catching the unique Buffy smell that the late breeze swirled around her. It was like eating vanilla ice-cream, wrapped in clean, crisp sheets. Her pulse quickened slightly being so close to the slayer again but she caught herself, internally shaking her head and rolling her eyes.
'Move it on, Rosenburg.'
Buffy watched the redhead. She watched how the breeze played with her hair and how the sun set it alight and she watched as her friend's eyes danced under her eyelids as they followed her own train of thought. She'd always had such an active mind. Buffy thought back to their shared time in the dorm, remembering it as one of the best. Willow had vivid dreams and would talk in her sleep, sometimes about something as ineffectual as the effect of rain on towels, sometimes about more important things.
She remembered once having to wake Willow from a nightmare. She had been pleading and screaming and Buffy had jumped to her bedside and lifted her upright, dabbing her face lightly with her Yummy Sushi sleeve. She was flushed and sweating. Buffy had asked what the dream was about and Willow, blindsided by the question, hadn't prepared her answer. She'd said it was about frogs.
"Will?"
"Yeah, Buff?"
"Remember when you had that nightmare back in college?"
Willow remembered. She had dreamed, and it was only that once too, that Buffy belonged to her. She had dreamed that they had been making love in what felt like their bed - their bed, they bought, together — when a demon had burst into the room and thrust a sword through Buffy's back. She could barely think about it, even now. It still hurt. Since that night, she had never dreamed of Buffy in the same way.
"Mmhmm."
"And you lied and said it was about frogs...?"
"Mmhmm."
"What was it really about?"
"I dreamed that you died Buffy, and that it was my fault." Willow replied without opening her eyes.
Buffy nodded at the confirmation of her suspicions and spoke words of reassurance to the witch. "You know, there is nothing I couldn't forgive of you."
"I know," she replied.
The blonde chuckled a bit.
"And you know, you're a terrible liar, Willow."
Her friend laughed, opening her eyes, and swatted her neatly on the leg. "Thanks a lot!" She added: "Anyway, that's the sort of quality you want in a friend — the inability to lie."
Buffy's eyebrows shot up. "Not if they keep trying!" She said through her laughter as Willow naughtily shrugged it off.
They slid back into their quiet again as the night began to blanket itself over the land and lights intermittently flicked on across the city. Buffy looked up at the stars, humming softly to herself. Willow's eyes flitted to her friend, tracing her profile. Buffy had always been so beautiful and Willow could see how, yes, the battles had affected her over the years and yes, she had lost that girlish innocence that made her 'pretty'... but she could also see, now that it was all over, the peace that the slayer had found within herself and how much womanhood suited her. Buffy was a captivating person, and extraordinary human being and a wonderful friend.
"Whatcha hummin'?" she asked.
"No idea," Buffy answered. "I heard it from someone's window the other day. Just remembered it now."
"S'nice."
"Mmm," she agreed, trying to remember the words. "Will, you know about the stars, right?"
Willow opened her eyes to look at Buffy. "Well, not heaps but I know a bit, yeah." She gave.
Buffy nodded and lay back on the concrete of the roof. "Show me some."
Willow laid herself back down and scooched closer to Buffy, telling herself it was to aid in the finding of constellations, and raised her left arm to the sky. She began to point out some of the more obvious ones when Buffy slid her right hand under the redhead's, letting herself be guided by her best friend. Pausing, Willow shivered at this rare contact with Buffy and recovering quickly, started again.
The slayer, half-listening to Willow, let the warmth of their joined hands fill her. It was all she needed to know. She loved Willow and had done for a long time but it was never the right time. There was always someone or something in the way. She relaxed and let herself enjoy the warm hum of Willow-voice. She loved the way her best friend could find enough interest in almost any subject and she loved listening to her enthused explanations of anything Buffy asked of her.
"...dishonoured her agreement with Phineus so her punishment was sit in a derogatory position for six months of the year. Oh, and there's Venus! She's not a star but she's still one of the brightest lights we'll see in the sky."
Buffy brought their hands back down to rest between them and turned her head to look at Willow. Her friend's emerald eyes were littered with stars and her breath caught. She never got over just how stunning those eyes were.
"Makes you feel small, doesn't it," she said to Willow, indicating toward the sky with a flick of their joined limbs.
Willow nodded and looked up again, suddenly calm. "That's what I'd say to Tara when we used to look up at the stars together before... before she was killed."
She fought back tears. Buffy saw all those little stars blend and become like liquid silver in Willow's eyes and squeezed her soft, delicate hand gently, letting her know she was there, and rolled onto her back.
"You miss her."
It was a statement, not a question.
Willow let a silvery tear roll out and down into her hair.
"Every day."
Buffy released Willow's hand, brought her arm up, and snaked it under her friend's neck. The witch rolled into her, resting a hand on her ribs. She absently ran her thumb back and forth over the soft cotton top that Buffy was wearing. She hadn't been this close to Buffy for years - possibly, since Oz left — and she sighed, letting herself sink into the feeling that everything was going to be ok now, the feeling that... she had finally come home.
"Y'know," she started, "Kennedy and I never talked about Tara. Not really."
"Why?" asked Buffy.
"I dunno. I never really brought it up and she never asked."
Buffy thought about it. "Maybe... maybe Kennedy was just scared."
Willow propped herself up on her elbow, looking at Buffy inquisitively. Catching her confusion, Buffy continued: "That you would decide that she just wasn't good enough for you. Think about it. I mean, from her point of view, you're a gorgeous, amazing, powerful woman so you must have fallen in love with someone good enough to stand next to you in a room, someone with just as much to give. Maybe she though that being a rich, spoiled brat wasn't enough for you."
"Buffy!" Willow chastised, well aware that Buffy and Kennedy never really saw eye to eye. She figured it was because they were so similar. Not that she'd ever say that to Buffy.
Buffy laughed it off. "Seriously though, Will. She knew Tara was something precious that was... stolen from you. She was probably worried about how to live up to that. Maybe she didn't bring it up because she was scared you realize what a mistake you were making and she'd lose you."
"She wouldn't have lost me."
Buffy turned to face Willow.
"Yet, here you are."
Willow nodded resignedly. "I guess we just drifted apart eventually. I think we both knew that it wasn't for forever."
"Maybe. Which means maybe you are looking for something more..."
Willow nodded again, then caught herself. She raised a pseudo-suspicious brow at Buffy.
"Hey," she edged out there, eyes sparkling, "when did you become Insightful Girl?"
Buffy grinned. "As soon as you became Angst Girl."
"I am not Angst Girl! May I please bring up Angel? Parker? Riley?" Willow said pointedly at Buffy, still propped up on her elbow, leaning over slightly.
"Nope. Too long ago. I'm over it." Buffy said, matter-of-factly.
"Uh-huh, yeah," Willow snorted. "Right."
"No, I really am. It's weird. It's like..." Buffy sighed and stopped. She wanted to explain this properly to Willow. She needed her to know this. "Okay, it's like, a while back I was talking to Angel about me and Spike and him and everything and I was saying about how I'm just like cookie dough that needs to finish baking, you know, I'm not ready yet."
Willow took her time to try and digest Buffy-logic. It didn't work. "Huh?"
Buffy laughed. "Look, I have had such a busy life. They could've based a film on my nightly activities and a entire series of Oprah on my lovelife. Nothing has ever been simple. I kept trying to do everything at once and now... Now I don't have to anymore. Now, I've had the time to sit down and actually absorb everything that we've been through... I'm done. It's like I've dealt with everything and finished baking. I'm ready. I'm cookies! You get me?"
Willow considered this and came to find that she actually did get it. "Yeah, I see where you're going. You've had the time to figure everything out now so you can move on. Close the chapter on the nightmare that was Sunnydale and move on."
"Yeah," agreed Buffy, closing the subject and giving Willow an encouraging squeeze.
After a moment of hesitation the witch spoke again. "I think Kennedy was just so... different from Tara. She was brash and impulsive and-"
"Spoiled?" Buffy threw in.
"Yeah," she giggled, "that too. She was just so honest and confident and strong in her beliefs." Willow laughed inwardly at the thought, hearing herself describe Buffy and thinking that maybe that was why she'd pushed Kennedy away — because she reminded her so much of someone she couldn't have.
"Well, maybe that was what you needed. So, Will, does 'rebound' sound the same in Rio?"
Willow laughed again and wondered at how deeply Buffy seemed to understand her.
"Exactly the damn same, I can tell you," she informed her with a wry smile.
Buffy returned it and lay her head back against the concrete but felt Willow stir next to her. The redhead ran a hand through her hair and stood to make her way to the edge of the roof. Buffy, curious, followed suit as she saw her friend approach the old wall that safeguarded the top of the building and lean over, staring at the moon.
The witch hugged her arms to her body, suddenly feeling the warm haze of the evening being sucked away by nightfall. Sensing that Buffy lingered behind her, she eyed the moon, praying silently for courage.
"We had a big fight, you know." Hesitantly, she continued. "About you."
"Me?"
"Yeah," she gave. 'You.'
She gathered all the courage she had into her voice, willing it not to shake. She felt it in every fibre of her being, in her very bones, that she needed to tell Buffy tonight exactly how much she meant to her.
"See, us Scoobies have always had this problem of comparing everything to us, to the Scoobies. It's like, we're this intense, unwaveringly dedicated family who're so loyal to each other... that we limit it to only us. It's like we're behind this indestructible, impenetrable door that no-one can break through, that only we have the key open. Sure we can invite people in to stay but in the end... it's always just us."
She paused to gather her thoughts and to give Buffy a chance to speak. Hearing neither agreement nor contention, she continued.
"I think initially that's what Kenny started to feel..." She subconsciously slipped into calling her by her pet name. "She wanted to be part of it, and a part of me wanted her to be, too, but even though she sat in with us when we made major plans and, like, when you were saying about the scythe and all... I think she couldn't help but think that she was only being granted entry because she was having sex with the 'big gun'."
"The big fight was about that party. You remember."
Buffy remembered. She remembered dancing and spinning like there was nobody in the world her but her and Willow. She remembered tracing the redhead's curves, licking over her breasts with her eyes as her hands roamed over the parts of her friend she allowed herself to touch, trying not to stray. She softly blew out the arousal that was rising within, wondering fleetingly if anyone else had ever excited her like this.
"She saw us dancing. She accused me of... Well, she accused me of sleeping with you."
"What?" Buffy asked, incredulously. "How could she think that? We danced to like, 4 songs or something and she was with you for the rest of the night!"
"That's what I said. She said that it probably wouldn't have taken that long judging by how we were dancing."
"She's tapped!" Buffy barked.
"It hurt, Buffy. That she could think that of me."
Buffy immediately stepped up behind Willow, placing a hand on either shoulder, holding her firmly, safe.
"Firstly, I can tell you that she must be insane to ever think if someone like you got me in the sack that I'd give them up after 20 minutes, let alone 20 days! And secondly, that you could even for a second be uncaring enough to hurt someone like that." She heard Willow take in a breath as if to speak. "Don't you dare mention Xander. That was totally different and nowhere near as significant. Thinking you would do something as so... selfish just shows that she doesn't know you at all. And if she said something like that to hurt you, even if she didn't believe it, to me, proves that she doesn't deserve you at all."
Willow almost cried at the words. Buffy, despite how tactless and brash she could be sometimes, would, every now and again, say exactly the right thing. The slayer rested her chin on her friend's shoulder. Willow took a deep breath, thanking whatever power there was for sending Buffy to Sunnydale and prayed that they have the good grace not to take her away. She said: "She accused me of being in love with you."
Willow felt Buffy tense. The chin that was resting on her shoulder left, taking the warm breath that tickled her cheek away with it. Willow almost whimpered at the loss of contact but Buffy's hands never moved. She seemed to be bracing herself.
"And are you?"
Willow turned in Buffy's arms. The slayer held her arms around her body. Willow gazed into her hazelnut eyes. They were brimming with fear.
"Are you, Will?"
The witch tore her eyes from Buffy's, unable to hold her stare.
"It didn't matter what she did, I always compared her to you." Willow said, her head low. "She wasn't good enough... She wasn't you."
"Willow," she heard. "Will, I need to know. Do you love me? Are you in love with me?" The redhead looked up and saw a combination desperation and unconditional love radiating from Buffy. "Because I don't think I could take it if you said no."
Buffy raised her hands to Willow's face holding it safe between her palms. She ran her thumbs over the satin skin of her friend's cheeks and forced her to turn her emerald eyes on her own.
The redhead stood rooted to the ground, paralysed at the sheer vigor of Buffy's words.
"Willow, I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. Everyday I've watched you and you've grown from a beautiful girl into the most stunning woman I've ever met. You've no idea how much you mean to me. Everyday I think I can't possible love you more than I already do and then you smile at me and I know I was kidding myself. Ever since you kissed me that one time back in school... I just.. It was like I couldn't get you out of my head."
"Then, why didn't y-"
"I was scared, Will! Scared that you wouldn't feel the same, that you wouldn't feel as strongly I did. And there was Oz and Angel and Tara and Riley and then Kennedy... There was always some way that it would've ruined everything." Buffy sighed deeply, trying to put into words what she couldn't even reason out to herself most of the time. "Will, I needed you. You were than just a Scoobie. You were my hope. The one thing that kept me fighting more than any other, even if I had to kill every vampire on earth, was the thought that we could be together in the end, in whichever way — friends, confidants... Lovers."
Willow inhaled sharply as she heard Buffy speak of them as lovers.
"Willow," Buffy rasped, almost out of breath from speaking with such force. She let out a nervous laugh then leaned forward and pressed her lips against the witch's. Her knees weakened and she ran her small hands down the other girl's neck, feeling her way around the elegant curve of her shoulders. Her mind flew back to when they had last danced together, bringing all the latent, sexual tension to the surface and she let her hands continue down Willow's front, skimming her breast, releasing her want.
Willow's senses exploded as she felt Buffy's hand lick at her chest and her lips open. She pushed her tongue out to meet the blonde's and grasped the slayer by the waist, pulling her closer. She had never felt such a need to climb into someone and eat away all of their passion. Her mind was reeling and in her mouth, Buffy felt like wet velvet. She bit gently on the slayer's lip, running her tongue along its length and swallowing the guttural moan that came from somewhere deep inside the woman she was kissing.
Buffy was the one who eventually slowed them, knowing that if they continued the way they were going that she wouldn't be able stop herself. She cupped Willow's face in her hands again, planting short, hard kisses on her lips, and leaned back to let her see the truth in her eyes.
"I walked into the Hellmouth for you the year we met and I died in there, Will... But last year, I walked right into it again, for you. And the truth is, if you asked me to, I'd do it again without a second thought. I would do anything for you, Willow."
The witch felt the words echo through her. She wiped at her green eyes, washing away the sheer ecstasy that had spilled out of her and wrapped Buffy in her arms, trying to get as close as she could possibly get and clinging to her.
"Thank you," she breathed.
"Anything... Anything, ever."
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End.