Blood Letting
by Valyssia
Letting Go (part 2)
[reviews]
Exiting the bathroom, Buffy made her way over to her witch. Kneeling in front of her, she held her chin at the same level as Willow's book. "So what's the deal with you, Will?"
Looking up from her reading, Willow replied, "Nothing's the deal. Why?"
Trying to control the hurt look that threatened to overtake her features, Buffy whispered, "Just...dunno...you act like I'm the only thing that matters to you one minute, next minute you're pretty much closed off—ignoring me."
"Whistler...he scared the hell outta me. Losing my soul? You have any idea how bad that would be?" Willow offered, furrowing her brow a little as she spoke.
"Knew I shoulda killed that little weasel," Buffy growled.
Cupping Buffy's cheek, Willow whispered, "No, Buffy, we needed to know. And until I find a fix, we need to be careful. I considered staying in my old room, but I just couldn't. Besides it would've hurt you and—"
"Over-react much?" Buffy asked in a serious tone.
Returning her hand to the pages of her book, Willow pressed down the feelings of upset and shock that threatened to rise. Despite her best effort, her voice still shook a little as she answered, "How can you be so cavalier? You know how hard it's been for me...or you should. I don't want—"
Furrowing her brow, Buffy locked eyes with her witch. "And you won't. Look, Will, what Whistler meant was sex and I'm so not ready," she implored.
"Is that why you were caressing my breast in the car?" Willow asked frankly.
"I was?" Buffy replied, appearing surprised.
Willow snickered. "Yeah... You don't remember?"
Buffy gave her witch an incredulous glare. "I think I'd remember."
"It was just one of the two hundred or so places you touched me. Not surprising you don't recall. Hard to keep track," Willow responded sardonically. Suppressing a laugh at the look of shock on Buffy's face, she returned her attention to the book.
Buffy opened her mouth to speak, trying to find a counter argument. I so didn't, but— Well maybe I did... I didn't. Growling softly to herself, she got up and walked over to the bed, crawling under the covers.
Turning her attention to her sulking partner, Willow said, "I know it's not gonna be easy for you, but... I also know it's something we both want, so... I need to try and fix it. It's that simple...and so far—not an easy request. You know rare ensouled vampires are?"
"How rare are they, Will?" Buffy grumbled the expected question. Closing her eyes, she wanted nothing more than for her witch to come hold her. So totally weird... Night four and I'm not sure I can sleep without her. Let's not forget, one of those nights I would've given almost anything to be somewhere else. Yup, losing my mind.
"Well, ummm...rare—you know—really damned rare—like only a couple accounts in hundreds of years...rare. And I'm not just—you know—not just working on my problem. I'm trying to understand the principles. It's like mixing oil and water or maybe bleach and ammonia... Anyway...much with the not mixy or shouldn't mixy. Real pain in the ass—and there's nothing in this stupid book," she slammed the book closed, "At least nothing useful...useless book," Willow babbled, sounding more frustrated as the semi-coherent rant went on. She finished by casting the book aside, rubbing her temples as she uttered a low growl. Reaching for her partner's discarded wineglass, she tipped it up, draining the contents. Concentrating on pressing the demon down, she concluded in a grumpy snarl, "I need a shower."
Buffy sat up, watching as her witch rose and stomped off into the bathroom. "What else you working on?"
"Oh, nothing much. Just trying to ensoul every slayer-vamp on the planet... From what I got so far, we're gonna need the scythe back," Willow replied in a loud frustrated voice.
Listening as her witch started the shower, Buffy whispered, "Wow." I get why I love her, now.
***********
Faith watched as Amy quietly reclaimed her seat. Rising, she picked up the discarded bandage and stitches. Walking into the bathroom to throw them away, she paused at the sink to wash her hands. Returning to the room, she sat down next to the witch, placing her arm around her. "Y'know, biggest part of what I did was selfish, right?" she asked pensively.
Meeting the slayer's gaze, Amy nodded more to indicate she wanted to hear more than in agreement.
"See, thing is... I find it sorta funny that you have this idea that it was some sort of noble act. It wasn't. I'd found something—something good for me—and I was desperate to hold on," Faith whispered.
"So you didn't care about me one bit?" Amy baited, smirking a little as she did.
Infected by the smirk, Faith couldn't suppress returning it. "Yeah...okay..." she grumbled, taking the witch's meaning. I guess totally selfless acts are pretty damned rare. You sorta do—whatcha need to do.
Breaking the silence that had fallen between them, Amy said in a dry voice, "You know I'll expect you to stop. The 'thirty-second relationship' thing. Is that something—?" trying to press down the hurt the subject caused her.
Looking over the witch's face, Faith wasn't sure what to think of the expression she wore. "That really bothers you, doesn't it?" she asked, appearing slightly puzzled. Pausing to consider her words, she added, "Y'know it doesn't mean anything? I mean...I just sorta see somethin' I want and I take it."
"If this is gonna work, you can't do that," Amy stated matter-of-factly.
Faith couldn't hold back a snicker. "You've got no idea what you're asking for," she remarked bluntly.
Furrowing her brow, Amy queried, "Maybe not... Why don't you tell me?"
"Not sure I can... I suppose the easiest way to explain it...it's like, since I got called—maybe before, but worse after... Being a slayer, it's like you have the part of you that's you. Then there's something else—like an animal, a predator—that part needs fed. The one guy I ever crushed on, I scared the hell out of him. That's why the separate," Faith said almost stream of consciousness. Taking a deep breath, she added, "See, thing is... I've got a pretty good idea what you're asking for and it's got nothin' to do with this. You want a part of me...and that ain't it."
Watching as the slayer rose to light a cigarette, Amy laughed.
Faith flopped onto the second couch. "What's funny?
"In all the time I've known you, you think I missed that? That I never saw that look in your eyes?" Amy asked fairly. Snatching the cigarette out of Faith's hand, she took a drag, passing it back.
Raising an eyebrow, Faith took a drag off her smoke. "So you're okay with—?"
"I'll deal. Who knows, you may even find I like being pinned to the bed and fucked. That is what you've been trying to say, right?" Amy commented, laughing openly at the dubious look on the slayer's face.
***********
Lifting herself up to recline back on her elbows, Buffy watched as her witch exited the bathroom wearing nothing but a white lace thong, moving to the closet to hang the little green dress. Oh yeah, Will...good thinking. That'd keep me busy for oh...'bout a tenth of a second. And she's actually sexier. If that's possible.
Smiling softly as she made eye contact with Buffy, Willow stopped to turn out the lamp. Pupils dilated and what a pretty shade of green.
Flopping backward onto the waveless waterbed mattress, Buffy groaned softly to herself.
After making her way across the room, Willow slid under the covers. "What's that about?" she baited playfully. The groan was totally cute. Just for that—gonna make her admit it.
"Nothing, Will. Come here," Buffy grumbled, reaching out for her witch.
Willow moved up next to her partner, automatically slipping into the proper position. "Not buying it," she whispered softly into Buffy's ear.
Starting to absently caress her witch's back, Buffy asked, "So tell me about the soul thing. How far are you with it?"
"Avoiding the question," Willow said in a hushed yet resolute voice.
Growling softly, Buffy replied bluntly, "Truth... Never thought I'd care about—but there's something—I dunno...would 'magnetic' be the right way to put it? You were right about the gropey hands thing. I'm not sure I can stand to be touched myself but—"
Smiling softly to herself, Willow whispered in a gentle loving voice, "I know, Buffy. Thing is, though...it doesn't work that way. It's an exchange—both people. I can promise that you'll never wonder who's touching you. And you'll never doubt that I love you when I do. Until we're both ready—sort of a non-issue."
"'Kay, Will. I'll have to take your word for it. I still think I'm losing grip," Buffy replied, snickering softly as she finished.
Turning her head to look at her partner's profile, Willow responded silkily, "And I still think you're saner now. Buffy, I know—actually neither one of us has lots of experience with love, but I know how it feels, and I know how it looks. Sometimes it feels a bit like you're out of control, and sometimes you look at me— I know you love me. Even though you can't quite—"
"Get my head around it?" Buffy offered, completing the sentence for her witch. Pausing for a moment to reflect, she added in a forthright tone, "It is a pretty alien emotion for me."
"But it feels good, doesn't it?" Willow prompted, smirking softly as she spoke.
"Oh yeah..." Buffy confirmed, giggling a bit like a school girl as she did. "Funny thing is... Unless it's a righteous kill...I've been feeling—I dunno... Those girls today messed me up. It felt wrong. Maybe our sleaze demon was right?"
"Sleaze demon?" Willow giggled, "Pretty much covers—but yeah... He was right about everything 'cept personal hygiene and choice of wardrobe. And it'll be too soon if I never see him again."
"With ya," Buffy replied frankly. "So tell me about this spell."
"It's not a spell yet—not yet—it's wild theory and conjecture. We're working on it. Giles is gonna check a few volumes tomorrow at the Magic Box. He has some stuff we don't. Both he and Dalton think it's possible. I need to get in touch with whoever it was you hired. I've gotta understand the premise before it can be a spell," Willow babbled stream of consciousness.
"You mean there are books you didn't make me buy?" Buffy snarked. Chuckling softly as she finished, she began to stroke her witch's hair.
Willow growled softly, settling for sleep, the growl faded into a soft purr, eventually drawing silent.
After a few minutes of quiet reflection, Buffy whispered, "I do, you know."
On the verge of sleep, Willow had to shake herself out of the fog. "Huh?" she gasped.
"Love you," Buffy whispered in a silky tone. Eleven days since the spell. Feels like a lifetime, like I slid down the rabbit hole. Totally crazy how much life can change. Choose the red pill—find the truth—or did it choose me? Eleven days... Pressing the pause button on her inner musings, Buffy listened intently for a moment. Oh now, that's too funny, she reflected, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh.
Stirring, Willow glared at her partner for a second. "What?" she grumped.
"Listen," Buffy said, snickering softly.
"Is that Faith and Amy?" Willow asked after pausing quietly to take in the sounds coming from the house.
"Got any better ideas? I mean...didn't really have Giles pictured as a screamer. Jonathan maybe," Buffy remarked in an amused tone. Guess I can add matchmaker to the list of skills, she considered, rolling her eyes.
Willow groaned.
"Go back to sleep, Will. Plenty of time to tease them tomorrow. Sorry I woke you," she offered apologetically. Starting to stoke her witch's hair again, she settled for sleep.