A gleam in my eye
by lilyme
Realization
[reviews]
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Part: 1/6
Spoiler:BtVS Season 4
Main Characters/Pairing: Willow/Buffy, Xander, Giles, Anya
Disclaimer:I do not own these characters, they belong to Joss and Mutant Enemy.
Note:I wrote this when I was 17...and 'terribly innocent' ;) Had it on my computer ever since and only my beta recently convinced me to publish it. So...what's to say...it's not my best work ever and nowadays I can't even tell you what made me write Buffy/Willow in the first place...but, oh, well, here it is ;)
Feedback:Still very appreciated
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CHAPTER ONE --- REALIZATION
It was a mild winter night and Buffy was strolling around on some of the various graveyards situated in Sunnydale. Right now she entered Restfield cemetery´, one of the older ones. The ground was pretty unbeaten, the grass had kept growing there for years without anyone caring to cut it. It almost looked like a small jungle, which made it the most favorite hangout place for vampires. They could lurk around behind the trees, waiting for some tender petite young women to show up and get sucked.
One might think, people would make their way to this lonely abandoned piece of town very rarely, but over the years it had become clear that it was a wonderful make-out place for Sunnydale's youth. They could be sure that others wouldn't find them here, except maybe fore the scary fang fairies of the night. But the teens were unaware of the danger they exposed themselves to voluntarily. Most of them had heard stories about vampires and demons and alike, who like to wait in their hiding spots, just counting the minutes to attack their next victim. But nevertheless most kids thought they were a myth.
These circumstances made this specific cemetery to the one most visited by Buffy on her daily patrols. Besides, it was only two miles away from the UC Sunnydale campus and she just loved to walk there on the little paths; although she had to watch her step, trying not to stumble over the roots of rotten trees crossing her way every now and then.
The semester was nearly over, the finals were written and Buffy was bouncing in her step, happy that the burden of studying 24/7 was over, at least for the next few weeks.
She grinned at the prospect of spending semester holidays with the gang. Every once in a while, they would all meet up in Xander's musty basement, watching videos or playing poker, though the last part didn't please her that much, because she knew that probably none of the others, including herself would have the chance to win but one game, considering Anya would be in the mix, and she appeared to win every single game, though she didn't understand the rules properly.
Apart from that she didn't like Anya that much, not because she did something bad to her or anything...it was just the way Anya behaved, so clearly inhuman. Well, of course she had been a demon for the last 1120 years. But then she was robbed of her powers and got stuck in this world full of mortals she couldn't relate to. She didn't get the way these people were with each other, she simply didn't understand the human rules; and frankly she didn't really care to learn them.
And the way she was talking about sex with Xander all the time simply drove Buffy nuts. It's like somebody handed you a porn, so very detailed were her sex talks sometimes.
Buffy figured it was the best to just shut off your ears on this. Like Giles, for example, well okay, he didn't shut off his ears on anything sexual Anya brought up, but at least he shut off his eyes about things he didn't approve.
Two weeks ago on a meeting at Giles's, she had noticed this for the first time really. She was used to Giles cleaning his glasses quite often, but she figured he did it because of dust or something clinging to them. But she had never noticed the topics that were brought up that made Giles behave like this — it always was some kind of sex talk and obviously Giles was quite thrown to see or hear anything involving other people's sex life.
Anyway Anya gave him a hard time talking about her nightly encounters with Xander, explaining whats and hows, finally forcing Giles to excuse himself to get some fresh air.
Later at the meeting, they had talked about the weekly creature features, that didn't seem so creature-y at the time. It was like all demons and vampires in Sunnydale put in a break to relax and regain their strength.
Buffy didn't quite know if she should be pleased with the very last thought, though it meant she had some more time on her hands at the time. Well, they are probably on Christmas vacation with their demon associates or something. Everyone deserves a proper Christmas, even not-humans.
But she emphatically hoped that Spike wouldn't make a cameo appearance, just like he had done at Thanksgiving. She wouldn't have minded one arrow of the Chumash Indians actually hitting his heart, stake him good and proper. But she hadn't seen him for weeks now. The hopeful thought of Spike having left her town once and for all sprung to her mind.
She still remembered too well Willow's 'my will be done' spell, that had nearly made her marry Spike. Not to mention the other consequences the spell had had: Xander, the demon magnet, Giles had become blind temporarily and Willow nearly had become a vengeance demon. But on the upside of the spell...Giles at least didn't have to watch Buffy and Spike making out. He didn't even need to pull off his glasses to not see their inappropriate behavior.
But on the downside...Willow had done this spell to feel better about Oz's departure, but in the aftermath she had felt even worse for causing so much trouble.
And Buffy couldn't stand seeing her Wills feeling bad. So she had put the ´Ewww, I was engaged with Spike´ thought away and switched to comforting the little redhead. As Willow had proposed earlier that day they had eaten sundaes and watched ´Steel magnolia´ together and it had made them both feel a lot better.
Buffy had to admit, concerning relationships the year 1999 had been really unfortunate for both of them. Oz had vanished about two month ago and had left a brokenhearted Willow behind, who obviously still had a ways to go before fully dealing with the fact that he probably never would return to her.
And her own love life...didn't seem to exist either at the moment. After Angel had broke up with her and had taken off after defeating the mayor-demon-snake...thingy on Graduation day, her whole world seemed to fall apart. And at this point, it had been Willow's turn to comfort her best friend by just being there for her. And that hadn't been the only time in 1999 Buffy needed Willow's comfort. She still remembered Parker, that creep, who simply had made a touch and go, ditching her after one night.
After Oz had broken up with Willow, which had happened about one month after Buffy's slip with Parker, the two of them had had several talk-all-night nights, in which they had played ´Share my pain´, just needing to talk to someone and knowing you're not the only one with a broken heart. Talking about it stilled both their needs, and at least Buffy was about ready to move on.
And she would have the chance if she wanted to.
Because for several weeks now, she had been courted by Riley, a nice guy, who is been tutoring in her psychology class. There was something handsome about him, he was tall and a real Sunnyboy. But on the other hand goofy, oafish and Teutonic, always wanting to keep her safe. But that is not what she needed; she could take care of herself, really.
And by the way, Riley wasn't quite the type Buffy is been normally attracted to. He didn't push her buttons. But at this very moment, she wasn't quite sure what her type is anyway.
Right now she could even tell which gender she preferred.
Of course she had a history of dating guys, but she had always felt there had to be something else. Though she didn't want to admit it to herself. No doubt, there was an attraction towards some actresses, when she watched certain movies, but she had soon figured that this was just to do with the character they played. That it impressed her; she hadn't let letting the other possible explanation for her attraction towards them sink in.
But about six weeks ago...things had changed. She had caught herself ogling another woman, practically stripping her with her gaze, before she had realized that she was in a public space and someone might have caught her staring.
Buffy still blushed at the memory.
From this day on, she had tried to restrain herself. She kept looking, but was cautious not being too obvious.
There was one girl though that attracted her more than anyone else. Red hair, big green eyes, fair skin slightly covered with freckles, the most gorgeous smile you can imagine and the cutest voice she'd ever heard.
She had known her for over four years, but never had noticed the sexual vibe from this woman; not until they had moved into the same dorm room. But from there on, slowly, night by night she had gotten engrossed more and more in the actions of the petite redhead, the way she acted, the way she moved, the way she spoke...hell, even the way she looked in her sleep.
All this little things added together made her realize that she was in love with her best friend.
Sometimes late at night, or better say early in the morning after patrol, she would sneak in their room, caught smiling by the sight of the sleeping little body lying in her bed, right arm and leg covered by the blanket, left arm and leg simply cuddling it, as if it was another person the redhead was unconsciously clinging to. And every night Buffy would lay awake in her bed, wrapped up in her fantasies of imagining herself in the position the blanket owned and have Willow snuggled up against her. This image made her gasp slightly.
Buffy got so carried away by her thoughts that she nearly missed the two vampires approaching her, mistaking her for some innocent damsel. When Buffy got the memo, she immediately jumped off the headstone she was sitting on while pondering about Willow.
The vamps shot at her two at once, one grabbing Buffy's arms from behind, the other trying to get a hold of her neck to bite down on it. But they underestimated the slayer strength Buffy owned; easily she shook off the hold of the vampire's hands on her arms. Giving him a head butt, she made him stumble and fall over the headstone backwards.
While the vamp tried to recover, Buffy let a stake slip out of her sleeve, forcing the other vampire to back away in slight terror, before lunging at her again. Trying to kick the stake out of her hand, he jumped up. Buffy used that opportunity to dodge him right in the junk, which sent the vampire to the ground, whimpering in pain.
He had no opportunity to recover from the kick, since Buffy was already plunging the wooden stake through his chest, turning him into dust. Turning over to the other side, she saw the vampire already standing up again, ready to jump at her.
"Come on, little girl, want to take me?"
"I don't know, if I want to take you," Buffy responded slightly amused by the little word game, "but I would want to stake you right away. You okay with that?"
"Don't you think, it should be my turn to stake you?" The vampire teased, throwing Buffy off for the fraction of a second.
"What? Ewww, tell me you don't mean, what I think you do. That is too gross."
"Oh, you wouldn't believe, how much fun a little rough and tumble with an undead American can be."
"Oh, I bet. But not in the way you intended. Besides, I know what a sack hop with vampire feels like. Been there, done that, moving on."
Just by saying that, she advanced the vampire, startling him with the sudden gear shift. He had no time to react before his face was punched hard three times, consequently making him see little bats flying around his head. And before he had a chance of regaining control, he was dust.
Buffy carefully plucked the stake back in her sleeve, while she continued walking across the cemetery. She knew this were probably the only vampires strolling around the cemetery this night.
A look on her watch told her it was almost 2 o'clock and therefore time to head back to her dorm, where she could still satisfy her fantasies with a glimpse of her sweet Willow peacefully sleeping.
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Willow was lying awake in her bed, thinking about Buffy on patrol. She was slightly worried, but of course her little head was always busy with thinking, thinking, thinking. And mostly she spent time worrying about nothing. She knew Buffy was okay, but the last few weeks were merely sleepless nevertheless. She couldn't really grasp what it was, but there was definitely something about Buffy that caught her mind. The strength the other woman inherited, the grace in her movements while fighting, the simple thought of Buffy's hazel eyes looking into her own turned her on in a way that was unusual for her liking.
She had always been attracted to men only. She's had a crush on Xander since she could remember. And she has had a relationship with Oz, the guitarist, the werewolf. The one person she had loved with all her heart and soul, and he had left her with broken heart and shattered soul.
She would have given anything up to be with him, but deep in her heart she knew, that he would probably never come back.
She had to keep on living her life and decided she would start tomorrow. Right after waking up she would remove the ´Dingoes Ate My Baby´ poster, the poster of Oz's band, from her wall. She had to draw the line under this part of her life. And maybe this new attraction to Buffy was a way of getting over the whole Oz-experience.
There was one problem though. She loved Buffy, but how should she know, if Buffy was equally attracted to her, or at least to women? She had to find out somehow. She had to observe her reaction to certain situations she could put her in and Willow began to form certain ideas in her busy little head.
But right now she had to play the game she always did around 2 o'clock in the morning. 'Cuz right now she heard the keys being turned around in the lock and the door being lightly opened. Willow would pretend to be asleep. But of course she always had a hard time sleeping when Buffy was out there, fighting demons and dusting vampires. She'd rather had Buffy safe home and cuddled up against her.
She didn't want Buffy to worry about her laying awake all night thinking about things. So she lay, quiet trying not to move and calming down her breath. She was simply relieved that Buffy was really okay, alive and kicking ass like usual. Now she could definitely relax into a sleep filled with lots of images of Buffy.
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