The Tears and The Cost

by Exiled

[reviews]

A/N 1) Anyone who has read my writing knows I don't spare on the blood and guts. Though, I do try to keep it in the level of PG. Just in case I've rated this story NC-17.

A/N 2) After Season Seven it was hard for my muse to think about B/W because of all the things that had happened between them. This challenge is the first time in years that my Muse stood up and took notice. That said, its still going to be slow going because of all the unfinished stories I have to work on at the same time. (I.E. The Island)

A/N 3) I've lost my BETA. I really can't write without one, so if someone could help BETA for me, then i would love them forever. I also need a pre-reader.

A/N 4) I will publish and give full credit to the challenge after the story is finished. If I mentioned the challenge now then the story would be spoiled.

Chapter One: Becoming


Buffy locked her knees because the Slayer within her wanted her to do something, anything, to save herself. It was screaming at her, pounding on the door of the prison she kept it in. Buffy stared down the barrel of Warren's gun; it filled her sight and it filled her heart with joy. All she had to do was stand perfectly still and hope he didn't miss. All the pain from the past year would be over. The memory of Spike's breath, tainted with alcohol, wouldn't matter. Willow's betrayals, lies, and addiction wouldn't matter--she would be back in the arms of her mother--part of the warm loving essence she missed so much--in just a few moments.

"You think you can just do that to me? That I'd let you get away with it?" The words of Warren's rant barely made sense to her. Why did the bad guys always have to talk? Why did they always have to justify or gloat? Xander was still on the ground where she'd pushed him, helpless for the moment, but if Warren didn't get on with it already....

Her entire being focused on his twisted face and she smiled when she saw it in his eyes the second he decided to pull the trigger. Buffy could almost see the electrical impulse go through his nervous system to his hand as his finger tightened....

Abruptly, Buffy was knocked aside, her arms pin-wheeling wildly as she fought to regain her balance. The heels on her boots sank into the soft ground as if they were spikes so that she fell backwards. The muscles of her back were still weak and healing from the night before and couldn't support her so that she fell onto the cold, wet ground.

She stared up at Dawn, she saw the muzzle of the gun flash, and then everything sped up, until it was going too fast for Buffy. Dawn laid spread eagle on the green grass with a growing puddle of red under her. The colors of Christmas, Dawn's favorite time of year, red and green was everywhere around her. Xander was the first to react, as he seemed to fly over to Dawn. He pressed his huge hands down on her open wound, covering the hole. His hands were instantly covered in crimson. He turned towards Buffy, she could see his mouth moving, could read the wild fright in his eyes, only she couldn't hear him. All Buffy could do was sit there as the morning dew soaked her jeans.

Buffy couldn't hear Xander but she could hear the gurgling as Dawn gasped for each desperate breath, fighting, for the air her body craved as she drowned. Buffy had seen enough people die to know that even if there were a hospital next door, it would be too late for her baby sister.

Dawn turned her head towards Buffy and the young girl's clean hand moved. How could her hand be so clean when the rest of her was covered in red? Buffy's eyes were drawn to her sister's pale face and she knew the exact moment that Dawn saw the dim light of her earthly life being replaced by the luminous, joyous light that was heaven.

Dawn's bloody, dirty face changed from struggling to survive for one more minute, changed from the fear, the pain of regret that this was all her life would ever be, she would never have a chance to fulfill her dreams--to compete acceptance and Peace.

Buffy's paralysis was broken and she forced herself to her knees so that she was kneeling beside Dawn. She watched Dawn's monumental fight to speak, to say the final words Buffy would ever hear from her. She stopped breathing in fear that she would miss one word, one sound, of her sister's final message.

"You were right, Buffy, it is beautiful. I love you." Then the final light faded from Dawn's eyes and she was once again left alone in this Hell called life.

Buffy could smell the ocean from the faint morning breeze as she knelt next the lifeless shell that had been her sister. She tried to understand what had happened, how --in just seconds--the only joy she had left could be torn from her.

"Dawn? Dawnie? Oh, no!" She wailed in total agony...then her tunnel vision, the focus on her sister's face vanished as she heard Willow's scream.

Both Willow and Tara rushed out the back door of the empty house. Willow pushed her way in between Buffy and Dawn, knocking her down once more to the ground.

Willow frantically felt Dawn's neck for a pulse, her fingers pushing harder and harder until Buffy thought she would break Dawn's neck.

"She...she's gone, Willow," Buffy heard the voice; she couldn't tell if she said the words or Xander. The redhead glanced over her shoulder at Buffy with such pain in her eyes that even as numb as she was, Buffy flinched and turned away.

"No, no, I can fix it, I can save her," the redhead cried. Then clouds, dark frightening clouds, formed directly over the house. Centering over Dawn's lifeless shell. "Osiris hear me now! Hear me now and bring back...."

It broke.

Something, somewhere deep inside of Buffy simply broke.

"No," She cried. It was the only warning Willow had as she was picked-up and thrown across the yard. The Witch was able to roll with the fall so that she lay on the ground more stunned than hurt.

"Buffy?" Tara placed a calming hand on the Slayer's shoulder. Buffy looked up into Tara's compassionate face, to see the tears streaming from the blonde witch's eyes--a testament to her pain.

The Slayer shook Tara's hand off. The dark, foreboding energy in the form of the deep navy and green clouds was still there, waiting...waiting to be used. The eyes of Osiris peered out of them at her then glancing at Willow the one who had summon him.

"No," Buffy's voice took on the guttural inflection of another entity that lived much closer to the time when Osiris ruled the earth. "Dawn is," that wasn't what she wanted to say. What did she want to say? Buffy couldn't think, she only knew she couldn't let Willow do it again.

Not to Dawn.

"Buffy please, let's go inside, let's let," Tara pleaded, reaching out to Buffy.

The broken part of Buffy, the thing behind the broken dam surged forth. Buffy and the Slayer merged with a single purpose. For the first time both the Slayer and Buffy's need combined in a single focused thought, a final act of protection for their sister.

'No!' The Slayer screamed, in the deep recesses of Buffy's mind. 'She wasn't just our sister! She was our daughter! She was made from both of us, we gave her life! She belonged to us, she was a part of us--blood calls to blood--blood spilled calls for more blood.'

And Buffy knew that the Slayer was right, that what she said was true. Dawn was their daughter, she wasn't a sister, she was made with her flesh and blood.

Osiris peering eyes met the hazel eyes of the Power's Champion, met them and understood what both the Slayer and the human needed. Osiris knew what they silently cried out for and the dark clouds condensed like a tornado and then slammed into Buffy's chest forcing her to take a step back.

Buffy accepted the darkness pouring through her feeding the Slayer all the energy she could hold, filling her. The Slayer accepted the energy and the power it gave her.

Then the energy ceased, the peering eyes of Osiris blinked and a face formed. "It is done, you are transformed. Blood calls for blood, vengeance will be granted." Buffy dropped to one knee as the energy began to change her from within, burning its way through her cells and her soul. It was making her more than human, more than slayer, merging both human and demon as never been done before in the history of time.

"Buffy?" Willow's whiney voice intruded on her and grated. "Buffy, what just happened?" The witch pressed, daring to walk up to the Slayer and placing her hand on her shoulder. She was the very witch who not two minutes ago tried to repeat her crimes by rendering another soul from Heaven.

"Stop Police!" The shout came from the side of the yard, near the gate leading to the street. The Slayer knew there were two humans just by their heartbeats, before she even glanced in their direction.

"Stay right where you are with your hands up!" the taller of the two men yelled as if volume would make up for his frailty. As if the gun in his hands could really protect him if the Slayer decided to hurt him. She wouldn't hurt him; he was trying to protect the people from the monsters just like she did. She could see his fear in the way his eyes dilated; she could smell it in the sweat that trickled down the side of his face. He only wanted to help the situation but his fear kept him paralyzed in place. The other police officer didn't care one way or the other; he had no fear of the four people standing in the yard. He was young and stupid not to be afraid.

"What happened here?" The young policeman asked when it became clear that none of the people in the yard were going to move.

Willow looked at Tara, Tara looked at Buffy to answer him, only the Slayer didn't care about questions. The Slayer only cared about her daughter.

Xander, still knelling beside the rapidly cooling corpse, answered. "He--he shot her." Xander stumbled to his feet, with tears streaming down his face. The frightened police officer nearly shot him when he moved, however when he saw Xander's tears he put his weapon away. He walked up to Xander and gently reached out both hands and put them on the young man's shoulders.

"Who shot her? Do you know a name?" the policeman coaxed, bending his head down so that he could make eye contact with Xander.

"Warren, Warren Mears," Xander whispered then broke. Falling into the arms of the police officer as the sobs choked him.

"I want an All Points Armed and Dangerous bulletin out on Mears, Warren. He is wanted in connection to a homicide at 1630 Rellevo Drive." The young officer spoke into the radio pinned to his shoulder and he, too, put his weapon away.

"Do you know if it's the same Mears wanted in connection with the 10-14 last night?" A disembodied voice over the radio asked. The young policeman glanced up at the Xander for confirmation, only to see he was beyond questions.

Hearing the name spoken out loud seemed to have the same affect on Willow as she started to wail, a sound that grated worse to the Slayer than her whiney voice. Thankfully Tara took the step needed to reach around Buffy to pull Willow into her arms.

Only Buffy was left standing over the body that had been her daughter but was now only a piece of meat lying in a pool of blood. Her sister was safe in their mother's arms right now, safe, warm, complete, waiting for Buffy to join them.

The Slayer rebelled at the thought of heaven, of leaving the earth until her job was done! They, Buffy and the Slayer, now had real power and the true ability to make a difference, a way to cut a path through the monsters of this earth. They were like the avenging Goddess of legend and the first monster to feel her vengeance would be the one who killed her daughter!

TBC