Somewhere I Have Never Travelled; Book Two
by Kirayoshi
An Angel With a Hand on My Head
[reviews]
(Note; this chapter contains spoilers and actual dialogue from "Welcome to the Hellmouth", "Prophesy Girl", "What's My Line", "Innocence", "Becoming part II", "Dead Man's Party", "Helpless", "Dopplegangland", "Bad Girls", "Choices" and "Graduation part I", as well as a scene from "The Yoko Factor" that I rewrote to fit my skewered continuity, plus my own earlier story, "The Dying Of The Light". Got all that?
text between * * * indicates flashbacks.)
Chapter 4
An Angel With A Hand On My Head
Hey now, all you sinners,
Put your lights on,
Put your lights on.
Hey now, all you lovers,
Put your lights on,
Put your lights on.
Hey now, all you killers,
Put your lights on,
Put your lights on.
Hey now, all you children,
Leave your lights on,
Leave your lights on.
Because there's a monster living under my bed,
Whispering in my ear,
There's an angel with a hand on my head
She says I've got nothing to fear.
There's a darkness, deep in my soul,
I still got a purpose to serve,
So let your light shine, into my home,
God don't let me lose my nerve.
--Santana with Everlast
"Put Your Lights On"
Giles and Denise had just finished translating the texts for the Slayer's Handfasting, when he heard a knock at the door. Answering the door, he was taken aback by the sight of Buffy and Willow, looking as though a terrible burden had been weighing down upon them. Willow maintained a look of grim determination(what was universally known among the Scooby Gang as her 'resolve face'), while Buffy looked dazed and lost.
"Buffy, Willow, come in," Giles ushered them inside immediately. "You haven't met Denise Parkinson, have you, Buffy?" Denise waved silently at the two girls as they entered the living room. He offered them tea, but they refused. They sat down together on his sofa, and Willow held Buffy in her arms. Giles noted that this was not a romantic gesture as he had grown used to seeing from the two of them. Clearly, Willow was comforting Buffy, easing some terrible pain. He only hoped that Buffy would tell him what was hurting her, although from Willow's frantic phone call earlier that day, he knew the root cause of her distress.
As Willow stroked her fiancee's hair and murmured encouragements in her ear, Buffy finally managed to compose herself, and, staring Giles directly in the face, asked "What am I, Giles?"
Giles regarded Buffy with the expression of a concerned parent. "What do you think you
are?"
Buffy paused and collected her thoughts. "I'm Buffy Summers. I'm a college student, I'm
going to marry Willow," Willow squeezed her hand as she spoke, "and apparently, I'm
something called a Slayer." She lowered her head, muttering in anguish, "Whatever that
means."
Giles exhaled deeply. He considered going into the same familiar speech he had given Buffy when they first met; In every generation there is the Chosen One. She alone will fight the vampires, the demons and the forces of Darkness, she is the Slayer. But he knew that wouldn't wash in this instance. "Buffy," he started, hoping to approach the problem from another angle, "Willow tells me that the two of you have had some unusual dreams. Would you care to discuss them? You don't have to if--"
"No prob, Giles," Buffy interrupted. "Maybe you can figure them out. I sure as hell can't."
She then related her latest dream, where she and Willow were living in Victorian London,
and had been tracking the nefarious Jack the Ripper through the dark streets of Whitechapel. "It was nuts, Giles, I was called Betsy Somerset, while Willow was, what was that name again?" she asked her partner on the sofa.
"Mina Rose, I think," Willow answered.
"Weren't you on the Titanic with Jack Dawson?" Willow giggled at the pop-culture
reference, relieving some of the tension. "Well, Mina and I found ourselves facing a--God, I don't know, I guess he was some kind of," she swallowed as she expressed this impossibility, "a vampire. He called himself William the Bloody--"
"Spike," Giles hissed under his breath.
"Who?" Denise asked.
"Never mind, Denise. Just a passing thought."
"Yeah," Willow said. "The thing is, I had the same dream as well, only from the point of view of Mina. It was like we were these people before, we had all their memories, we felt them die in the dream. And this wasn't the first dream we shared."
"I see." Giles sipped his tea as he thought. "Denise, do you recognize these names?"
"I do, Giles," Denise answered. She glanced at Willow and Buffy, and said, "Elisabeth
'Betsy' Somerset was the daughter of a wealthy family who was called to fight evil as the
Slayer. She severed all ties with her family, who didn't understand what she really was, and
joined together with a woman named Wilhemina Rose to fight the evil that resided in the
streets of London. Hmm. Interesting similarity in names; Wilhemina Rose, Willow
Rosenberg. Betsy Somerset, Buffy Summers."
"I don't recall reading her name in any of the Watchers' records."
"They tried to cover her up, Giles," Denise commented, "because of her unconventional
lifestyle. It was known that Betsy and Mina were openly in love, and rumors persisted that
Mina was a practicing wiccan. However, their own Watcher was inordinately proud of his
charge, and I recently discovered his journals on her. Interesting fact, Giles, but Betsy's
Watcher was none other than Dr. Arthur Conan Doyle."
"You mean the guy who wrote Sherlock Holmes?" Willow beamed at the thought. "Hey, you could probably sell those journals as a horror novel and make a fortune!"
"Uh guys," Buffy interrupted, "getting back to the topic, so you're saying that this Betsy
person is a Slayer? And that I'm a Slayer like her?"
"Exactly." Giles answered.
"And how long have I been the Slayer?"
Giles answered calmly, "For the last five years of your life. And you have been one of the
best."
"Yeah, thanks," Buffy sneered. "But something tells me that this is one gig I wouldn't have
chosen."
"You didn't," Giles answered with a slight smile, "and you have told me as much in the past."
"Let me guess, you're my Watcher?" Giles nodded, and Buffy shook her head in anguish. "So I've gone to the mat against things that would make Wes Craven lose his lunch, but I still can't remember them. God, what's happened to me?" And she buried her head in Willow's hair.
A palpable silence reigned as Buffy's question hung over them like a huge weight suspended by a fraying wire. Finally Giles said in a soft voice, "Buffy, it is possible that your memory has been blocked by an unknown trauma. I believe I can help free your memories, but you would have to trust me. I would like to place you in a state of light hypnosis--"
"A-hem," Willow growled at Giles, her eyes smoldering. Giles cleared his throat nervously. They remembered what happened the last time Giles had hypnotized Buffy.
"This is entirely voluntary, Buffy," he amended swiftly. "You would still be aware of your
surroundings, and you would remember the experience of being hypnotized, but under that
state, you and I would be able to free your memories. And I would insist on Willow and
Denise staying in the room with us to monitor you in this state. It is entirely up to you."
Buffy looked at Willow, her expression an unspoken question. "I never trusted hypnosis,
Buffy," she said warmly, "but I trust Giles."
Buffy smiled at Willow. "Okay, Wills, if you trust him." Looking at Giles, she added, "So,
break out the swinging watch, or whatever."
"Nothing so melodramatic, Buffy," Giles chuckled. "Just sit still and relax." His voice began to take on a slow measured cadence, and dropped to a soothing monotone. "Relax, Buffy. Feel the tension easing away from your limbs, from your shoulders, from your back. Breath normally, Buffy, slowly. Do you understand?"
"Yes," Buffy muttered simply.
"Now, I am going to count to five. When I reach five, you will be placed in a light hypnotic state. In that state you will hear my voice, and can respond freely to my questions. Do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Good. One. Your eyelids are getting heavy. Two. And heavier. Three. You have to
close your eyes. Four. You are completely relaxed. Five." He looked at Buffy and was
pleased that she was placed so easily in this state. He glanced at Willow, and mentally
kicked himself. Her eyes were closed and she breathed at the same rate as Buffy.
Denise chuckled at Giles' predicament, then leaned in toward Willow and snapped her fingers close to Willow's ear. Willow blinked suddenly, saying, "I'll take Gilbert Gottfried to block." She looked around, asking, "What happened?"
"You went under as Buffy was going," Denise said softly.
"How come you didn't?" Willow asked.
Denise smiled. "Watcher's training."
Giles silenced the two women, then addressed Buffy. "Buffy, can you hear me?"
"Yes, Giles."
"Buffy, do you remember waking up in the hospital last week?"
"Yes."
"I want you to tell me the last thing that you remember before waking up in the hospital.
Relax and concentrate. Where are you?"
Buffy started to strain, to tense as the first traces of memory formed in her mind. "I'm in a
lab. A government lab. The Initiative. You're with me, so's Willow, with Xander, Tara and
Oz. A huge monster is attacking. I can see him, and I see something behind him."
"Calm yourself, Buffy," Giles continued. "You are an observer, you are not a participant.
What happened to the monster?"
"The monster, Adam, he's trying to summon other monsters, to hurt my friends. But
something's happening. A portal. A mouth. Hellmouth. He's opening the Hellmouth!" The
building panic in Buffy's voice drew Willow to her side, as she instinctively held her lover.
Buffy didn't notice her presence, as the memories flooded her. "Willow and Tara, they cast a spell to send Adam through the Hellmouth! I managed to push him through, but then Oz--NO!" she screamed suddenly. "KEEP AWAY FROM WILLOW!"
"Easy, Buffy," Giles tried to take control of the experiment. "You are not there anymore.
You are not in the lab. I am going to awaken you. I am--"
"NOOO!" Buffy wailed. "Willow! What's happening? Where am I?"
Giles wiped his brow, as Buffy's agitated state only got worse. "Giles," Willow shouted,
"What's happening to her?"
"What I feared would happen if we pushed her too hard," Giles despaired. "She's
remembering everything. All of her battles, every demon and vampire she faced, all at once. And I can't calm her down enough to draw her out of her hypnotic state!"
In her mind, Buffy was lost in the maze of her memories---
* * *
"'Cause, it's the weirdest thing. He's got two little, little holes in his neck, and all his
blood's been drained. Isn't that bizarre? Aren't you just going, ooo?"
* * *
"You think I want anything to happen to you? Do you think I could stand it? We just
gotta figure out a way...
"I already did. I quit, remember? Pay attention!"
"Buffy, if the Master rises..."
"I don't care! I don't care. Giles, I'm sixteen years old. I don't wanna die."
* * *
"I'm not okay. I knew those guys. I go to that room every day. And when I walked in
there, it... it wasn't our world anymore. They made it theirs. And they had fun. What
are we gonna do?"
* * *
"How can you say this to me?"
"Lighten up. It was a good time. It doesn't mean like we have to make a big deal."
"It is a big deal!"
"It's what? Bells ringing, fireworks, a dulcet choir of pretty little birdies? Come on,
Buffy. It's not like I've never been there before."
***
"Oh, God, ANGEL!" Buffy cried.
"She must be remembering Angelus," Giles intoned. Willow held her hand, desperately trying to console her, but she was inconsoluable.
* * *
"Angel could pull it off. Goodbye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester Bloody Square. You
know what I'm saying?"
* * *
"Buffy Summers, if you leave this house now, don't even think about coming back!"
* * *
"In the end, you're always by yourself. You're all you've got. That's the point."
* * *
"Shh. Don't worry about it. I love you."
"I love you."
"Close your eyes."
* * *
"I'm so sorry, Angel, I'm so sorry," Buffy wept, recalling the pressure of the sword handle
against her hands as she plunged the blade into her love's chest. Her breathing grew more
ragged, in desperate gasps, and sweat was fountaining from her brow.
"Giles," Denise said, "if we don't do something soon, she'll suffer a massive coronary!"
Willow gasped as she looked at her suffering love.
And still the memories bombarded her---
* * *
"It's a test, Buffy. It's given to the Slayer once she... uh, well, if she reaches her
eighteenth birthday. The Slayer is disabled and then entrapped with a vampire foe
whom she must defeat in order to pass the test. The vampire you were to face... has
escaped. His name is Zackary Kralik. As a mortal, he murdered and tortured more
than a dozen women before he was committed to an asylum for the criminally insane.
When a vamp..."
"You bastard. All this time, you saw what it was doing to me. All this time, and you
didn't say a word!"
* * *
"Will, I'm sorry about today. You know how my foot likes to live in my mouth. But you
know... y-you really didn't have to prove anything."
"Leaving now."
"Will, gotta say, not lovin' the new you."
"Will, wait..."
"Get off me!"
* * *
"Faith, you don't get it. You killed a man."
"No, you don't get it. I. Don't. Care!"
* * *
"You -- you killed me, B!"
* * *
"You can't accept the fact that Tara and I are friends!"
"More than friends, from what I heard!"
"Bloody Hell!"
* * *
"Adam and I cut a deal, Wills. I betray Buffy, he'd give you to me as a gift. It seems
that Adam lost, so Plan B. You're mine, Willow, and this dyke whore won't take you
away from me!"
* * *
"Keep away from her, Oz!" Buffy shouted, her voice growing weaker, as her breathing grew more shallow. "Willow? Where are you? Willow!" She reached out in blind panic,
desperately needing to find her love, her lifeline.
Willow grabbed Buffy's hands in hers, and started to caress them. "It's okay, Buffy," she said in as clear a voice as she could manage. Shoving her own fears for Buffy's safety aside, she spoke to her. She placed a calming hand on Buffy's head, as she whispered in her ear. "I'm here, Buffy. I'm not going anywhere. You're just remembering what it is to be a Slayer."
"But my being a Slayer just keeps getting you hurt!" Buffy cried.
"The only thing that would hurt me is losing you, Buffy," Willow insisted. "You've done so much for me, don't you remember that? Remember me, Buffy. Remember us." She spoke in soothing tones, and Giles and Denise could see the effect she had on Buffy. Her breathing slowed and she started to breath more deeply, and she stopped thrashing about on the sofa. "That's right, Buffy," Willow continued. "Remember. Remember..."
* * *
"Hi! Willow, right?"
"Why? I-I mean, hi! Uh, did you want me to move?"
"Why don't we start with, 'Hi, I'm Buffy,' and, uh, then let's segue directly into me
asking you for a favor. It doesn't involve moving, but it does involve hanging out with
me for a while."
* * *
"Hey! I hear there's a dance at the Bronze tonight. Could be fun."
"Yeah!"
"Buffy?"
"Sure! We saved the world. I say we party! I mean, I got all pretty."
* * *
"The dark can get pretty dark. Sometimes you need a story."
* * *
"Willow, wake up."
"Uh -- don't warn the tadpoles--"
* * *
Buffy's breathing grew more and more steady, more calm. Willow's soothing voice, and the love that she expressed with each syllable, with the slightest touch of her fingers on Buffy's hand, was having the desired effect on the Slayer. Soon, Giles reasoned, it would be safe to bring Buffy fully out of her spell.
* * *
"It's okay. I understand you having to bail. I can forgive that. I have to make
allowances for what you're going through a-and be a grown-up about it."
"You're really enjoying this whole moral superiority thing, aren't you?"
"It's like a drug!"
* * *
"Willow! You're alive!"
"Aren't I usually? Uh, I love you guys too. Uh, guys, oxygen, becoming an issue!"
* * *
"The other night, you know, being captured and all, facing off with Faith. Things just,
kind of, got clear. I mean, you've been fighting evil here for three years, and I've
helped some, and now we're supposed to decide what we want to do with our lives.
And I just realized that that's what I want to do. Fight evil, help people. I mean, I-I
think it's worth doing. And I don't think you do it because you have to. It's a good fight,
Buffy, and I want in."
"I kinda love you."
* * *
"I love you, Buffy Summers. More than anything or anyone else in this world. Always
have. Always will."
"Damn. I wanted to be the first to say it."
* * *
"Buffy," Giles said softly, "I am going to count backwards from five to one. When I reach
one, you will be fully awake and alert. You will remember what happened, but from a
distance. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Awaken."
Buffy's eyes fluttered, and snapped open. She looked at Willow's face and smiled. "So, any
calls while I was gone?"
Willow hugged Buffy fiercely, while Giles and Denise breathed a collective sigh of relief. "oh, Goddess, Buffy," Willow whispered, "I was so scared of losing you."
"Not a chance, Wills," Buffy vowed. "You still have the ring on your finger." Willow grinned at her love, and kissed her lightly on the lips.
"Buffy," Giles coughed, smiling at their obvious passion for each other. "If you could tear
yourself away from your intended for a few seconds, I feel that I should ask. How much do you remember now?"
"Remember, Giles?" Buffy thought for a second, then said, "I remember that you can sing any Emily Dickinson poem to 'The Yellow Rose of Texas', I remember every sensitive spot on Willow's body--"
Willow slapped her lightly on the arm, adding, "That goes both ways, Slayer!"
"And," Buffy continued, "I remember the face of every nasty I've staked in my career as a
Slayer. I also remember how much I hate training, but I'm sure you'll have a schedule set up soon."
"I think we can ease into a training schedule. We'll start lightly, when you're ready," Giles
smiled, relief flooding his soul. Buffy, his surrogate daughter, this petite young woman who was the strongest person he had ever known, was back.
"There's just one hole in my memory though," Buffy confessed. Willow and the others sat
quietly as Buffy explained. "Just after Oz threw me into the portal, I felt a falling sensation. I found myself thinking of 'Alice in Wonderland' for a second there. Then, the next thing I knew, I was in the hospital, and you were waiting at the door, Wills. Somewhere in all that, I lost a year. I don't know what happened to me in Hell. I mean, Angel told me that his few months in Hell were like eons to him, but it felt like a few seconds to me. Does that make any sense?"
"I understand what you're saying, Buffy," Willow answered, "but I wouldn't worry. We
found you in a giant crystal, frozen still. I think you were in some kind of suspended
animation, or some such."
"I doubt that you have had any memories in Hell, Buffy," Denise added, "and from what I
heard, that may be for the best." Giles agreed, and Willow just held her beloved tighter.
"Welcome back, Buffy," she whispered into her ear.
"Glad to be back, Wills," the newly-restored Slayer said. "Love you." As the two friends
kissed lightly, the ringing of a telephone distracted them.
Giles answered the telephone discreetly. "Giles residence," he greeted the caller.
"Giles, it's Angel. You wanted an update on the Hell's Belles. I just saw them terrorizing
some people just two blocks away from the Bronze."
"Any sign of Sandra?" Giles asked. Buffy's ears perked as she recognized the tone of his
voice. Looks like her honeymoon with Willow was over.
"Sandra and Tara are trying to control the situation, but once Darla shows, they're going to be seriously out-classed."
"I understand," Giles said. "Keep me informed." Giles hung up, then looked at Buffy and
Willow.
Buffy already had her game face in place, and Willow was beside her, with her resolve face
on. "Vamps at the Bronze?" Buffy asked.
"Three vampires on motorcycles. Soon to be joined by their Mistress, Darla." At the
mention of the name Darla, Buffy's eyes widened.
"I thought she was a confirmed check in the 'slain' column," she muttered. "No matter, Giles, let's head 'em out!"
"Hold on, Buffy," Giles protested, "it's too soon after all you've been through. There's
another Slayer on the scene, she can handle it."
"Hey, the more the merrier, right Wills?" she turned toward her love, who nodded in
agreement. "Just let me stock up. You still keep the spare stakes in the basement, Giles?"
Giles raised his hands in surrender. "Downstairs to the left, as always." Buffy and Willow
headed down the stairs to collect their weapons.
"I had hoped to let them ease into their routine," Giles said to Denise. "It's too soon."
"Tell that to Hell's Belles," Denise chuckled. "I doubt they would agree."
Soon, four figures emerged from the townhouse and piled into Giles' car. The battle was
about to be rejoined by its greatest warrior.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
"Duck and cover!" Sandra shouted as a Harley came barreling down on top of them. Sandra and Tara ducked in opposite directions, narrowly evading the bike. Leather, the vampire who was trying to run them over, circled around, ready for another pass at the two. Her partners in blood-sucking, Rizzo and Frenchie, knocked back a bottle of Jack Daniel's and laughed at the two girlfriends' hopeless situation.
Sandra got back on her feet, shouting, "Tara! You okay?"
"A little bruised, but fine," Tara assured her girlfriend. "But she's coming back, and we can't dodge her forever!"
"We won't have to," Sandra stood calmly, her feet parted, her arms loose at her sides, a
stake in her hand. "Ever see the chariot race in 'Ben Hur'?"
Tara stood frightened as Leather charged her two-wheeled steed toward Sandra. Sandra
stood her ground, waiting, waiting--
At the last possible second, just when the bike was inches away from her, Sandra ducked
and feinted left. With blinding speed, just as the bike was moving past her, Sandra rammed
the stake into the spokes of the rear wheel.
With the wheel jammed by the stake, the bike suddenly flipped out from under Leather,
knocking her hard on her back. The impact would have knocked the wind out of her, if
vampires ever felt the need to breathe. She struggled to right herself, as her bike landed on
its side yards away from her. Frenchie and Rizzo ran to help their comrade, and once she
was standing, Leather was angry.
"That's it, Bitch!" Leather spat out the words. "You and your girlfriend are going down, and going down now!"
"Yeah, they're going down," a voice called from behind them. "They're going down to the
Espresso Pump with us after we dust the three of you!" The Hell's Belles turned on their heels, only to come face to face with five figures.
A sandy-haired gentleman in his early-forties and a statuesque black woman in her thirties
both held crossbows at the ready. A lanky young man in a duster jacket crouched, ready to
strike quickly. A petite red-haired woman stood beside him, a stake in her hand.
And an unassuming blond woman walked toward the three vampires, a crossbow pointed at Leather's heart.
"In every generation," the blond announced calmly, "there is the Chosen One. She, and those who choose to follow her," she glanced at Giles, who seemed to approve of her rewording his original declaration of her calling, "will fight the vampires, the demons, and the forces of darkness." She smiled as the vampires took a step back, recognizing her for who she was, and being afraid of her.
"She is -- I am -- The Slayer!"