FIC: "Lucky Ones"

["Pat Kelly" <bandits@xxxxxxxxx>]

Hey. Okay. This is my first song fic. Ever since I heard "Lucky" by Bif Naked on Buffy, and again on the soundtrack, I loved this song. And it seemed to fit Buffy and Willow really well. The song is obviously not mine, and neither are the Buffy characters. Hope you enjoy.

LUCKY ONES


Buffy was sitting on the floor in Giles' house looking through his book collection. Willow was with her too, sitting in a chair a couple feet behind her. Giles had said that he wanted to "clean out" his book collection, and keep only the most useful ones.

Of course, Willow and Buffy knew that was a cover. And a weak one at that. Giles would never get rid of any book, at all. And if he ever did, they knew they'd both go into permanent shock. No, he just wanted to spend time with them.

They knew he was lonely. The bachelor life had worn thin, they could tell. They both felt guilty, but it wasn't their fault that college took up so much of their time. It didn't change the fact that they loved him. He was like a father to them, and they knew he wasn't going to come right out and say he wanted to be in their company.

And they enjoyed spending time with him. Despite all the cracks they made at his expense, well, Buffy and Xander mostly, they were glad they had someone like him in their lives.

And another, equally important reason, it got Willow out of the dorm. Her sulkyness was really bothering Buffy. A lot more than she cared to admit. It wasn't just Willow's sadness that was getting to her; it was these feelings that were surfacing.

Since they started living together, since their fear-induced fight on Halloween, and since Oz's departure, she had started to see her friend in a different light. The fight left her with one thing on her mind: 'I never want to lose her'.

She realized that she had never been that receptive to Willow's point-of-view. Buffy had always been so overwhelmed by her own problems. Not that she thought Willow's were any less significant, it was just that she never had the time to really listen. She expected Willow to always be the strong one, and to support her.

Now the tables had turned, and she was making a conscious effort to be there for her whenever she needed it. She just hoped she wasn't overdoing it.

'I love you might have been a bit much. It was just a friendly one, though. Right?'

Turning her head, she saw Willow looking at her, who then quickly looked back down at her book.

***


'She saw me looking.wait.why was I looking?'

Willow had been a mess lately. There was no questioning that. When Oz walked out the door, her whole world had been flipped upside down. Plus, to top it all off, Spike had come after her again. On some level, she really did feel sorry for him.

The truth was, she had been intentionally focusing on the anguish Oz caused her. Why? Because whenever she didn't, thoughts, crazy thoughts would enter her mind. Buffy. It was always Buffy. Even before Oz.

She had been trying to nail down her emotions for awhile. It wasn't jealousy; maybe a tad bit of envy, definitely respect. Lots of respect. And admiration. She couldn't forget that. But she always seemed to hit a dead end after admiration. She knew there was more, but she couldn't seem to get past it. She was afraid to.

Halloween brought all her fears to the surface. That Buffy wouldn't accept her magic. Wouldn't accept who she was becoming. Wouldn't accept her. Didn't Buffy realize that the magic was to help her? Willow did it so she could help Buffy. To be part of the slaying. Part of her life.

Not just the geeky hacker sidekick who sat behind a computer. She was sick of being Velma. She wanted to be somewhere in between Velma and Daphne.

'I mean.Daphne was a redhead.'

And Buffy was really starting to take notice too. And that made her feel good. A part of her didn't want to. A part of her didn't want to be overcome with joy just because Buffy was in a room talking to her. She wanted to be upset over Oz. But as time kept passing, he just seemed to fade.

The best Buffy had made her feel, was right after Oz left. The 'I love you' had her jumping up and down inside. She knew it was just a friendly one, and that's all she expected.

'It was all I expected, right? And it was all she offered. Right?'

***


After an hour or so, they both started to get a little tired from reading. Giles, who was making tea in the kitchen, saw this.

"You can stop if you like. If you have somewhere you need to be."

Buffy and Willow both were quick to reassure him.

"We don't have to be anywhere." Willow said.

"We just need a little reading break. In fact, I think music is just what we need to wipe out all this pesky book knowledge from our brains." Buffy said, reaching for his stereo.

"How are you surviving college?" Giles asked.

"As in ugly demons, or ugly, mean teachers?"

"Classes."

"Oh, well that's easy. I got my Will."

Buffy caught sight of Willow's face out of the corner of her eye. She was blushing.

"And you're lucky you do."

Buffy thought about what he said as she changed the stations on the stereo.

".from Bif Naked's new album, 'I Bificus'" the DJ said.

"Hey, didn't they play." Willow started, but trailed off as the song started.


(It was a Monday, when my lover told me, "Never pay the reaper with love only.
What could I say to you, except, "I love you" and "I'd give my life for yours"

I know we are.we are the lucky ones)

'Déjà vu' They both thought as they heard the first line of the chorus.


(I know we are.we are the lucky ones
I know we are.we are the lucky ones, dear)

As Buffy listened, the first face that popped into her head was Angel. But he didn't seem to fit. They hadn't been very lucky.

(The first time we made love, I.I wasn't sober, and you told me you loved me over and over! How could I ever love another, when I miss you every day?

Remember the time we made love in the roses?
And you took my picture in all sorts of poses.
How could I ever get over you, when I'd give my life for yours.)

Oz. Making love with Oz. She had felt like the luckiest person in the world then. Going into the unknown with someone who she.thought.would be around forever. She was starting to wish her first time had been with someone else.

(I know we are...we are the lucky ones
I know we are...we are the lucky ones
I know we are.we are the lucky ones
I know we are...we are the lucky ones, dear)

She did feel like a lucky person. Angel's face was slowly being replaced in her mind, and someone else was taking his place. Someone who had been with her through everything, and still continued to fight alongside her. Support her.

(My dear,
It's time to say I thank God for you.
I thank God for you in each and every single way.
And, I know...I know.I know.I know.

It's time to let you know. Time to let you know. Time to let you know.
Time to sit here and say)

She wanted to say something. She wanted to let the person know how lucky she felt, how she would give her life to protect them, would risk everything to love them.

(I know we are...we are the lucky ones
I know we are...we are the lucky ones
I know we are...we are the lucky ones
I know we are.we are the lucky ones, dear
We are the lucky ones, dear...)

As the song ended, Buffy had come to understand a lot. It was amazing how one song could help everything make sense. The question now was.should she risk it? Tell the person how much she loved them?

"That was quite a beautiful song. I'm a bit surprised, actually." Giles said.

"Yeah.it was, wasn't it?" Willow asked aloud.

"It was.yeah." Buffy said, turning and meeting Willow's gaze again. This time, her friend didn't look down. "I'm gonna get some fresh air."

Buffy got up, and went out the front door. Willow got up a few seconds later.

"I think.I am.I mean.me too."

She went out the door as well, and Giles just stared at the door, smiling.

***


Buffy stood on the terrace roof of Giles' house, looking at the midday sun. She was just glad she didn't have to slay for a few hours. She needed to think. What was she going to do? Hearing faint footsteps, she turned around, and smiled.

Willow was walking up to her.

"I was wondering where you went."

"Afraid I'd disappear on you?" Buffy asked, joking.

"Maybe a little." Buffy went into full serious mode when she heard the sound of her friend's voice. "Don't, okay? Ever."

Buffy hugged her, and Willow squeezed back, tightly.

"Never. Look, Will."

"Buffy." They laughed nervously. "I'm really lucky you're in my life."

"That makes two of us. I mean that."

Willow smiled. "I know you do."

'It's all or nothing, Buffy.' "And I.also mean this. I love you." She saw Willow go wide-eyed. And then speechless. "Will -?"

"Could.you.say it again?"

"I love you."

Willow surprised her by nearly tackling her, and then kissing her hard. And long. She was eventually allowed to breathe, and Willow backed away.

"You know I love you too, right?"

"I kind of got that impression, yeah." Buffy took a few strands of Willow's hair between her fingers, and twirled it. "But first impressions can be misleading. I may have to be convinced some more."

Willow grinned, feeling extremely happy for the first time in awhile. "I don't see that being a problem."

Buffy had to giggle. She just had to. She didn't know what had been worrying her so much. It was all so easy. She felt free. "Are you waiting for permission? Cause you have it, you know."

Willow kissed her again, and this time she was a more active participant. She wrapped her hands around Willow's body, and pulled her closer as they continued. Willow pulled away slightly, and whispered.

"Are we ever going to go back inside?"

"If you think Giles wouldn't mind us kissing on his couch."

"Out here is good."

"What are you thinking?"

"How lucky we are, and."

"Feeling like an idiot because it took us this long?" Willow nodded. "Yeah. Me too." Buffy leaned in to kiss her again.

Even though it had taken awhile, it had happened, and they were glad it did. They promised themselves that they wouldn't mess it up. They might have been lucky, but luck only took you so far.

And they planned on making the change that had just occurred in their relationship, a lasting one.




"When I held that gun, I felt an incredible surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.." (Homer J. Simpson)

"You've been fighting evil here for three years, and I've helped some, and now we're supposed to decide what we want to do with our lives. And I just realized that that's what I want to do. Fight evil, help people. I mean, I think it's worth doing. And I don't think you do it because you have to. It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."

"I kind of love you."
(Willow Rosenberg, Buffy Summers, BTVS)

"Don't.."
"What? Don't love you? I didn't know I got a choice in that."
(Angel, Buffy Summers, BTVS)