Talking With Willow

["Pat Kelly"]

Okay. This is...well, I don't know why I wrote it. Don't even know why I'm posting it. But here.

TALKING WITH WILLOW


(Writing you and your friends has become second nature to me. I just love all of you so much and.I focus on Buffy/you relationship fics now. Not necessarily because I'm a huge fan of slash, because I'm not, and not because I'm a male.

(You two have a closeness and a potential that I'm drawn to. A friendship that's survived everything imaginable. I don't know what that feels like, and I'm sure a lot of other people don't either. You don't get closeness with guys very often. I also don't know if I'd want to go through everything you have. But that's beside the point.

(Why I write what I write, is to try and tap into that closeness, that feeling, so maybe I can experience it too. Go on the ride with you. I don't make really good things happen to you, or bad things, because I think other people will have a good read. I do it for myself, to twist my own emotions. I always write for me. That's the only way I can be happy about what I produce.

(I'm young, just about to turn eighteen, and I know I've got a whole, hopefully long life ahead of me. And yours is the kind of relationship I want to have. To find a girl who just clicks. Doesn't necessarily have the same personality or interests, but is someone I can open up to without reservations.

(Is that just a hopeful dream? I don't know, maybe it'll become reality. But right now, as much as I may like certain girls, I don't date. High school is the dating time, but usually doesn't go anywhere. College is coming up, and I promised myself that this is when I'll break out and start looking. Maybe I'll find my Buffy. Or my Willow.)

"Pat? You there?"

(Yeah Willow. Sorry for the rant.)

"You're talking to the Queen of the Babble."

(Maybe. But the fact that -)

"You're talking to a fictional character is making you question your sanity?"

(Bingo.)

"Everyone gets their feelings out somehow. I do it through spells that go wrong, Buffy does it through punching.I'm always glad to listen."

(Do you like what I write?)

"I have to. You make me -"

(You know what I meant.)

"Well, I seem to be happy most of the time. And don't see how I could be sad if Buffy and I were.you know. And you'll be fine. I've been through everything and I'm still here."

(That's cause a writer keeps you alive. Such as myself)

"Maybe. But life is a story. You can write into your life whatever you want. He's just a little more complicated in the real world. Or so I'm told. You'll know when you've found 'the person'. Reality is what you make of it. Again, or so I'm told."

(Did anybody every tell you how smart you are?)

"You just write that stuff."

(No you're you because you've developed on your own. Sometimes a character dictates what should be written. Becomes bigger than whatever is written on a page.)

"Are you saying I control what you write?"

(To an extent.)

"Then put me on the beach, night, with Buffy and a basket of food."

(Yes ma'am. There you go.)

"Thanks."

"Hey Pat."

(Hi Buffy.)

"Was wondering when you were going to let me come in."

"I meant what I said. You'll be okay. She's out there."

(I know. I feel better.)

"Good."

"So you gonna continue this scene or what?"

"Buffy! Be good! He needed to get some things said."

"Sorry. I'll be patient."

(Thanks Willow. Well, I guess it's back to writing.ready?)

"Yep."

(I love doing this.)

"When I held that gun, I felt an incredible surge of power. Like God must feel when he's holding a gun.." (Homer J. Simpson)

"You've been fighting evil here for three years, and I've helped some, and now we're supposed to decide what we want to do with our lives. And I just realized that that's what I want to do. Fight evil, help people. I mean, I think it's worth doing. And I don't think you do it because you have to. It's a good fight, Buffy, and I want in."

"I kind of love you."
(Willow Rosenberg, Buffy Summers, BTVS)

"Don't.."
"What? Don't love you? I didn't know I got a choice in that."
(Angel, Buffy Summers, BTVS)