Fan Fic: Aftershocks (Complete)

[Erin <erin@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Ok, here 'tis, hot off the presses. I haven't even had much of a
chance to proof this. I had a lot of labor pains with this one, so
let me know if it comes off as being really stupid, or out of
character or anything. It's a Coming Out story, for the theme, and a
dealing with a new relationship story, mostly. Don't look for a lot
of slayage. Maybe next time. :)

Oh, and it's a sequel of sorts to "Just a Day in the Life."

TITLE: Aftershocks
AUTHOR: Erin (erin@xxxxxxxxxxx)
SPOILERS: Some spoilers through Doomed (Season 4)
RATING: PG-13. Some kissing, a small mention of nudity, slight
explicit language. It is a Buffy/Willow fic, so if that bothers you,
or it's illegal to even think of a Slayer and a Witch getting it on,
then just don't read it. Or move.
DISCLAIMER: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters belong to Joss
Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox. I'm just borrowing them for a bit.
I'll put them back when I'm done, no worse for wear (but maybe a
little happier).
ARCHIVE: Currently, none. Just ask, I'd love to say yes.
FEEDBACK: Constructive comments are encouraged.
SUMMARY: (Buffy/Willow) Buffy and Willow try to deal with the stress
of their relationship, Coming Out to friends, and of course,
Valentine's Day.

The bright moon cast long beams of light through the
unshuttered windows of the dorm room. The light illuminated the two
friends, laying in one another's arms on a small bed. They were fully
clothed, seemingly content for the moment just to be in one another's
presence. The moonlight also illuminated a telephone on a nightstand;
a telephone which, as telephones do, would start ringing in just a
moment.

Buffy sighed; right now, life was perfect. It didn't matter
that she was the Slayer; it didn't matter that she was anyone's
student, or friend, or daughter. It only mattered that she was Buffy,
and that her best friend, who had earlier snuggled up to her and
placed her head on Buffy's shoulder, was happy.

"Are you happy, Will?" Buffy asked. She had asked the
question almost idly, but she felt that the answer was critically
important.

"Mmmmm..." Willow sighed, tightening the arm she had around
Buffy's stomach. "Of course I'm happy. This is like a dream come
true." She raised her head to meet Buffy's kiss.

Inevitably, just then the phone rang. Buffy groaned, and sat
up to reach the phone.

"Hello?...Oh, hi Giles!...Really?...Ok...Tomorrow, sure...Ok.
Bye." Buffy set the phone down.

Willow sat up, and looked at Buffy, concerned. "What is it?
Demon prince?" Buffy shook her head. "Vampires?" No again. "It's
not another apocalypse, is it?"

Buffy shook her head, and replied, "Worse. Giles wants dating
advice."

* * *

"Giles is going on a date with your mom?" Willow looked
shocked. "Uh, I thought they hadn't really even...uh...talked since
the band candy incident."

Buffy made a face. "They didn't really 'talk' then, either.
I'd rather forget about that. Having the mental image of Giles and my
mom having sex on the hood of a police car--TWICE--is something that's
going to make me require intense therapy. I don't care if they WERE
under a spell at the time." The Slayer rose, and started pacing back
and forth in their dorm room. "No, but my mom wanted Giles to look at
some pieces she got for the gallery, and when she heard that he didn't
have any plans for Valentine's Day..."

Willow wrapped her arms around her legs, and rested her chin
on her knees. Even though she knew that she and Buffy had feelings
for one another, it was still hard to get used to the fact that they
really were "starting a relationship." Not surprisingly, she had no
experience with female/female relationships. "So, um..." Willow
started, trying to be nonchalant. "What...what are your plans for
Valentine's Day?"

Buffy looked over at the redhead, who was trying so hard to
play it cool. She sat down next to Willow, and put her arm around
her. "I dunno, that kinda depends."

"On what?"

"On where you want to go to dinner that night." Buffy smiled
at her friend. Willow looked slightly shocked.

"You mean like a...a date?"

"Of course I mean a date," Buffy responded, bemused. "Why
wouldn't we go on a date?"

"Well, I mean, I don't know, I mean, I just thought that, you
know, dates mean going out, and, you know, doing date-ish type things,
and I mean, being seen by, well...people," Willow finished babbling.

Buffy looked at Willow seriously for a moment. "Will, are you
ashamed...of me, of us?"

Willow looked stricken. "Oh no, Buffy! I could never be
ashamed. It's just that, people..."

Buffy held up a hand to silence the redhead. "If you're not
ashamed of us, and I'm not ashamed of us, then no one else has the
right to interfere. They're not living our lives, Will! They don't
have to live with the consequences of our actions. All of it is SO
none of their business. And I'll be the first to tell them that."

Willow smiled, and blushed. "Do you prefer Italian, or
Mexican?"

* * *

"That tie is just WAY too busy," Buffy commented. You need
something with a little more beige."

"Yes, I think I have something else..." Giles went upstairs to
retrieve another tie. The girls had come over to help Giles with his
wardrobe choices for his big V-Day date with Ms. Summers. Shortly
after the fashion show was underway, Xander and Anya showed up,
undoubtedly looking for some quality time away from Xander's parents'
basement.

"Hey Buffster! Hey Willow! Where's the G-man?" Xander came in,
and immediately raided Giles' refrigerator for soda for himself and
Anya.

"Hey, Xand. Way to make yourself at home," Buffy grinned at
their friend. "Giles is upstairs, he's trying to coordinate an
ensemble for his big date."

"Giles? On a date? Is this yet another sign of yet another
coming apocalypse?" Xander set the sodas on the table, and sat down
next to Anya. "Who's the lucky British chippy this time?"

Buffy just stared at Xander, and Willow tried to intervene.
"Uh, Xander, the lucky WOMAN is Buffy's mom."

Xander's mouth closed, and he cast nervous glances at the
Slayer. "Um, of course, what I meant was, the lucky woman must be
some lady of distinction..."

Anya looked over at the group, puzzled. "Does this mean that
Giles and your mother are going to have intercourse? You know, be
orgasm friends?" Anya had all the tact that you might come to expect
from someone who had spent the last 1,100 years as a male-hating
vengeance demon. One small trick of fate later, and she was a normal
mortal teenager; well, normal aside from her complete lack of social
skills.

"No! Can we talk about something else here besides my mom's
org--can we talk about something else here?" Buffy looked more than a
little stressed.

"Ok, subject change, I get it. What are your plans for
Valentine's Day?" Xander asked, directing the question at Buffy and
Willow both.

The two friends exchanged glances. "Well, uh, I don't think
we have quite decided yet, that is, not that we're deciding together,
I just don't think either of us have decided." Buffy looked over at
Willow for confirmation.

"Yep, that's right, I don't think either of us have
decided...Buffy, can I talk to you for a minute?" Willow pulled Buffy
outside.

Xander looked over at Anya, puzzled. "Did that seem a little
weird to anyone else?"

Anya, who was busy flipping through a magazine, looked bored
by the question. "They're always a little weird, how can you tell?"

Just then, Giles came down from upstairs, holding a couple of
ties. He looked around curiously, and asked, "Where are Buffy and
Willow?"

* * *

"So what happened to not being ashamed?" Willow asked, arms
folded across her chest. Buffy looked sheepish.

"We were talking about people...people who aren't our friends
and family. Do you want to go in there and tell Giles and Xander that
we have the hots for each other?"

Willow stared off into space for a moment, and smiled. "You
have the hots for me, huh?" She giggled.

"Willow!"

"Oh, ok. I get your point. But we're going to have to tell
them eventually, and it's not fair to either of us to have to keep it
a secret."

Buffy nodded. "Ok, so we just go in there, and tell them,
right?"

"Yep, we'll just go in there and tell them." Willow and Buffy
opened the door, and re-entered Giles' home.

Xander looked over at his friends, coming back in from
outside. "So, what were you two crazy girls talking about?"

"Nothing!" Both girls said, in unison. They looked at each
other. "Ok," Buffy said, exhaling slowly. "We're...well, for
Valentine's Day, Willow and I are going out to dinner." She shot
Willow a triumphant look.

"Okay," Xander said, slowly. "That's nice."

"That's nice? That's it?" Buffy looked at Xander, puzzled.

"Uh, what else? Um...Good! I'm glad for you."

"You're glad for us?" Willow asked. Xander was taking this
better than she thought he would.

"Yeah! I mean, I love to see you guys having fun with each
other."

Buffy choked, quite a feat as she wasn't eating or drinking
anything at the time. Willow just stared.

Xander looked around the room for support. "What? Am I the
only one who thinks this double date idea is a good one?"

Giles removed his glasses, and began polishing them. "I...I
don't think that's quite what they meant."

"Huh?" Xander looked around, totally confused.

"We're not double dating, Xander," Willow began. "We're just
dating."

"Ok," Xander replied. "Dating who?"

"Oh, I don't believe this," Giles mumbled, and went off to
find another tie.

* * *

"Well, that went well, I think," Willow broke the silence as
she and Buffy walked back home to their dorm.

"In what alternate, bizarro universe?" Buffy looked over at
her friend. "Xander freaked, yelled at us and took off, Giles..."

"Was just being Giles. He's uncomfortable around our personal
lives regardless of who we're dating." Willow remembered how
uncomfortable Giles was when she first mentioned to him that she had
feelings for Buffy. Then, as now, he was trying to be understanding,
and trying to be comforting, but interpersonal relationships were not
his strong suit. She suspected he'd rather stick to something safe,
like demons.

"That's true. And Anya...well, at least she was too bored by
the whole thing to add to the excitement." Buffy shoved her hands in
her jacket pockets. "I just wish Xander had stuck around, and talked
to us."

"We should give him some time. I'll go and talk to him in a
day or two." The two friends lapsed into silence again.

* * *

The Slayer walked around the UCS campus, lost in thought.
Technically, she was "out patrolling", but she was too distracted now
to do more than walk around and see if anything attacked her. Truth
is, she needed to get out of her dorm room, and think.

The harsh events of the afternoon put both Buffy and Willow
into a funk. When it was just the two of them, it was so easy; each
knew how the other felt, and they had very little problem expressing
that. But when other people were involved, it became "an issue".

It's so unfair! Buffy thought. When I was dating a guy,
people couldn't have cared less. Even Angel attracted less attention,
and we hung out in graveyards all the time. But now I'm dating a
girl...And not just any girl! This is Willow, who I've known and
trusted for years. When I was dating a guy, no one asked if it was
the right thing to do, or if I was "doing it for the wrong reasons."

That was perhaps the most cutting thing that Xander had said
to them before he left. He had insinuated that Buffy and Willow's
relationship was a direct result of their other failed relationships
with men. Then he left. Giles said that it was completely unlike
Xander, and that he didn't mean it, he just needed a little time.

The whole thing was starting to anger Buffy. Why the hell
should it matter to them, any of them? Why should it matter if I'm
dating a guy, a girl, or a pink two-headed elephant with fangs? Ah,
geez, Buffy thought suddenly. And what am I going to tell my mom?

"Dammit, it's so unfair!" Buffy yelled, with clenched teeth.
A voice made her jump.

"What's so unfair?" Riley asked, stepping out of the shadows.

"Riley, hi," Buffy passed a hand through her hair absently.
Perfect, she thought. Riley, who I can't spend five minutes with
without getting into an argument. She seated herself on a stone table
in the commons area where she had ended up. "I haven't seen you in
awhile, over a week. You haven't been in Walsh's class."

Riley nodded. "Yeah, I had some things to work out, I got
another TA to cover for me. Our last encounter with the Host--with
the um, warlock left me a little shaken."

Buffy smiled, wryly. "Yeah, I guess that whole thing kinda
upset your world view, didn't it. It's hard to rationalize away."

"Yeah, I had to deal with it, to do some research. I guess
there are some things out there that I'm not so ready to explain
away," Riley replied. He took a step toward Buffy, and said,
"Actually, I was out here looking for you."

Buffy looked at him, quizzically. "Why were you looking for
me?"

"I wanted to know what your Valentine's Day plans were."

* * *

Willow sat in the dorm room, staring at her computer screen.
She had started a journal entry for today's date, but she couldn't
figure out what to write in it. Actually, she couldn't figure out
what to write in it FIRST.

She had been hurt by the things that Xander had said about
them. She knew him well enough to know that he probably already
regretted the harsh words, and he'd come back and apologize soon. He
really did just want to see the two of them happy.

She looked over at the bed on Buffy's side of the room.
Happy. She remembered just yesterday how happy she was, lying down
next to Buffy, her head on the Slayer's shoulder. Everything had
seemed so right. So what was the problem?

Willow shook her head. She and Buffy needed to talk. They
could work it out, but they needed to do it together.

Willow grabbed her coat, and left the dorm looking for the
Slayer.

* * *

"Valentine's Day?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, I thought maybe if you weren't doing anything, you and
me could go to dinner or something," Riley smiled.

Buffy shook her head. "Riley, I like you, I really do, but
this whole thing just isn't going to work between us..."

"Why not? Because of you being a Slayer? Buffy, we talked
about this, this Slayer thing doesn't have to be your whole life!"

"What? No, Riley, you're wrong. The Slayer thing IS my whole
life. It's what I was born to do. I didn't choose it, it chose me,
and I can't say no, I can't say, 'Oh, I'd really like to retire now,
maybe settle down,' there is no gold watch in my future. Because the
only way I stop being the Slayer is to...to die. Permanently, this
time." Buffy buried her face in her hands. God, she wished this
whole subject didn't get to her like that.

"Buffy, listen to me." Riley put a hand under her chin, and
lifted her head to face him. "You're doing good things, and helping
good people. That alone should be enough to let you reward yourself
with a personal life--" Buffy shook her head.

"Riley, you don't understand what I'm getting at--"

"No, I understand perfectly, you don't want to let your guard
down because you're afraid of what's going to happen. You don't have
to be afraid and you don't have to be alone." He leaned down, and
kissed her.

* * *

Willow rounded the path by the science building, and stopped
when she heard voices ahead. She looked out into the commons area,
and saw...She stumbled back, around the building, her breath ragged.
Blinking away tears, she ran back the way she had come.

* * *

Buffy broke the kiss. "Riley, stop." She wiped her tears
away with the back of her hand. "Listen, you caught me at a really
bad time. No, listen to me!" She held up her hand, silencing him.
"I can't be with you, it's not fair to you. There's..." She took a
deep breath before continuing. "There's someone else. I'm sorry."

Riley took a step back; he felt numb. "I...I see. Why didn't
you tell me before?"

"Because I didn't know until just over a week ago. But this
is someone I've known for so long, and trust so implicitly..." She
stared off into space, unknowingly looking at the same spot where
Willow had stood just moments before. "I'd never do anything to hurt
her."

"Her." Riley repeated the word; repeating it made it more
real, somehow. "Willow."

Buffy nodded silently. Riley took a few steps back, and then
turned around and walked down the path, into the night.

* * *

Willow couldn't remember walking toward the dorm room, but she
was led back there all the same. She was a fool to think that her
relationship with Buffy could work. Not when she had the chance of a
normal relationship with Riley. She entered the room, and without
even turning the lights on, got ready for bed.

* * *

Buffy entered the room quietly. It was dark, and she saw
immediately that Willow was in bed, asleep. Buffy sat on the edge of
her own bed, and sighed.

"Oh, Willow..." she whispered. "Why is this so complicated?"
She exhaled, slowly. "All I know is that...I love you. I...I'm not
good at this whole sharing thing. I know I tend to keep things all
bottled up, and I know I can sometimes push people away. But I never
want to push you away, not again. I try to be strong, the person
people can depend on; I try to be SuperSlayer, but Will, deep down I'm
really not. Will, I need..." Buffy's voice cracked, and she fell
silent.

A quiet voice came from Willow's side of the room, startling
the Slayer. "I love you, Buffy."

Buffy looked up at the very awake Willow, who was looking at
her. Buffy gave her a faint smile, and replied, "I love you too,
Will." She rose, and went to sit down next to Willow.

"Buffy, I..." Willow began. "I went looking for you tonight,
a...and I saw you...and Riley..." She couldn't finish.

Oh God, Buffy thought. "Will, Riley came looking for me
tonight, to ask me out for Valentine's Day--"

"I know you'd rather be with Riley. I mean, I can't compare
with what he can offer you." The redhead buried her face in her
pillow.

"What? NO, Will...Geez, what is this obsession people have
with not letting me finish?" Buffy looked down at her friend. "I told
Riley that he and I could never be together. That I don't love him.
I told him that I love you."

Willow looked up, surprised. "But Buffy, you're better
off--"

"I'm better off with someone who understands me, who knows me
as well as I know myself. Someone who I love with all my heart, and
someone who can make me happy. That's you, Willow Rosenberg, in case
you didn't know."

Willow smiled, a sweet smile that melted Buffy's heart. She
pulled Buffy down on top of her, surprising the Slayer by her sudden
movement. "Then I guess there's only one thing left to say..." Willow
whispered, before meeting Buffy's lips with her own. The kiss lasted
a long time, starting out sweet and tender, and quickly growing in
passion.

"Mmm, what is that..." Buffy gasped out, between kisses.

"Only..." Willow groaned as the blonde ran her hands down her
body. "Only that there's no more need to talk."

"Talking bad..." Buffy agreed, leaving a trail of kisses from
Willow's lips to her stomach.

* * *

Buffy woke up the next morning, the smell of Willow's hair
hanging in the air. Not surprising, she thought, looking around. She
was lying in Willow's bed, which was just barely big enough for two.
She smiled, remembering the reconciliation of the night before, and
looked down at the redhead sleeping next to her.

Willow slept peacefully, with a small smile on her lips. She
shifted, snuggling closer to Buffy as she did so. The redhead opened
her eyes, and saw Buffy looking at her.

"Morning," Buffy said softly. Willow reached up and pulled
Buffy down into a kiss. The redhead wrapped her arms around her
Slayer, feeling warm, bare flesh underneath her hands. The two girls
were interrupted by a knock at their dorm room door.

Buffy actually growled. "Damn, whoever it is better have a
good reason," she said, grabbing a robe to cover herself. Willow
laughed, and pulled the covers over her.

"Ok, who is i--" Buffy opened the door, and fell silent.
"Xander." She finally said.

Xander looked extremely uncomfortable. "Um, look, can I come
in for a minute? Cuz I'd rather not have everyone out here know what a
dork I've been."

"Sure." Buffy stepped back, and closed the door behind her
friend. Xander looked at Willow's head, barely visible above the
covers. He looked at Willow, then Buffy wearing...Willow's robe, then
Buffy's bed, looking quite untouched. "Um, listen, if I'm
interrupting..." He made his way toward the door.

"No, that's ok Xander," Willow said, quickly. She sat up,
somehow keeping the covers tucked under her chin the whole time.
"Sit...sit down."

Xander sat on the edge of Buffy's bed, while Buffy seated
herself next to Willow.

"I did a lot of thinking yesterday," Xander began, "and I want
you two to know that I feel like a real jackass."

Buffy nodded. "Go on."

"Yeah, well, I was Not-Quite-Thinking-Straight guy yesterday.
I mean, it came as such a shock to me...and it hurt me a little, too,"
he admitted. "I mean, I've had my jealousy episodes over Buffy's
boyfriends before, and Willow, you and I go back a long way. But I
want you to know that I'm glad that you two found each other. I
wouldn't have it any other way." After a minute, he concluded,
"Unless I were there, too."

Buffy and Willow laughed, and Buffy stood and gave Xander a
hug. Willow looked over, and said, "I'd give you a hug too, but..."
She blushed a little. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

Xander looked over at Willow, and with an evil gleam in his
eye, said, "On the contrary, I think you got a real idea there, Will.
C'mere!" He held out his arms, and started toward Willow. Buffy
laughed, and grabbed Xander, easily steering him toward the door.
"Ok, X-man, that's enough for now. Go on, we'll meet you for lunch at
the caf."

Xander weakly protested, and before the door shut, the girls
heard him say, "That wasn't even enough to fantasize by...!"

The two girls looked at each other, and laughed.

* * *

The two lovers sat across the table from one another. The
blonde reached out her hand, and the redhead held onto it. Buffy
looked around at the Italian restaurant Willow had chosen. Everything
was perfect, soft music, candlelight at every table... "A perfect
Valentine's Day," she said, softly. Willow smiled across the table.

"It seems like it took forever to get here," the redhead
replied, looking around.

"All our lives," Buffy replied. "But we have the rest of our
lives to enjoy it."

Willow raised her water glass. "To young love," she toasted.

"To young lovers," Buffy corrected, and leaned forward to
accept a kiss from Willow.

And if there were any stares, they were thoroughly ignored.

END
--
"Then again, what is college for if not experimenting?"
-- Willow, BtVS
*email: erin@xxxxxxxxxxx