Re: Whole 'Coming Out' thing/FIC:One Day At A Time

[M R <riteraith@xxxxxxxxx>]

> Now, as to 'coming out' in Buffy and Willow's case.
> I don't think it would be that big of a deal. I
> think the only ones who would have trouble with it
> would be Xander, at first, and Joyce. But the world
> population at large, why should they care about
> that? The world never cared about them before. No
> loss. Besides if a college hangs a large 'Lesbian
> Alliance' banner in it's lounge, it seems pretty
> open to me.
>
> Now, I don't know what 'coming out' is like for the
> real(though I'd imagine it's difficult),
> reality-type people, but in Two Of a Kind I tried
> dealing with it the best way I knew how. It was
> easier for Joyce because at the time she had just
> had come to terms with her daughter battling demons.
> Anything found out after that, in small time frame,
> would pale in comparison.
>
> Now I went to the extreme with Willow's parents.
> They kicked her out, because of religious beliefs.
> But when Willow went into the synagogue, and her
> father was sitting in there too and heard her, he
> realized what an ass he'd been.
>
> I dunno. I just think trying to write a realistic
> 'coming out' stor wouldn't work in the BTVS
> Universe. You could spend a whole fic on how
> outsiders perceive them, but they never really cared
> about outsiders in the first place(high school) and
> I tend to think college people would handle it
> better anyway.
>
> But what do I know?
>
> Later
>
> Pat

You are very perceptive Pat and I agree with what you
have said. I'm a new member to the list so bear with
me as I try to write my first Buffy/Willow fic. You
might ask why then I've picked such a difficult topic
as coming out. The answers simple I myself recentl y
came out and it was painful. I lost a very good
friend. So I attempted to write a fic based upon that
theme.Here goes please let me know what you think!

Title:One Day At A Time
Author:RiteRaith
E-Mail:riteraith@xxxxxxxxx
Content:B/W, mention of Spike/Angel(not graphic)
Rating:PG-13
Disclaimer:Joss and Mutant Enemy own the characters. I
don't get anything from this except fun.
Distribution:Distribute to whoever and wherever you
like. I ask only that if anyone wants to archive it
they let me know.
Spoilers: Up to Hush.
Feedback:I would appreciate constructive criticism
just as much as praise.
Story Summary:Buffy comes out. She doesn't get a good
reception.
Author’s Note:This story is dedicated to Jamie, thank
you, you’re a wonderful friend.

One Day At A Time


Buffy was more certain than ever that she was in love
with Willow, the redhead was the joy in her life. It
was early in the morning in Sunnydale, the deep black
of the night still waiting for the dawn’s bright rays
to banish it. Buffy sat in her seat at the Espresso
Pump staring into her coffee, she was trying not to
cry, she was trying even harder not to feel because
all she could feel was her love for Will..... . Before
that thought was finished a solitary tear rolled down
her cheek. What had happened to turn her life upside
down so quickly? It had all begun the previous
night.........

Buffy had finished her patrol and now she headed back
towards her house, her old house in Sunnydale as she
now roomed with Willow on campus, she had made her
decision, her friends would be gathered their as she
had asked them to, she would tell them tonight. As she
reached her door she gathered all her courage and she
hoped her friends would understand her, she opened the
door. Buffy was greeted with a perfectly normal scene,
Xander, Anya and Willow were in the front room
watching television. Giles was sitting in an armchair
reading a book and her mother was getting drinks for
everyone whilst trying to avoid Giles, after the Band
Candy incident they had barely spoken. That was when
someone stepped from the shadows behind Buffy and
tapped her on the shoulder. Buffy was so worked up by
what she was about to tell her friends that the tap on
her shoulder was enough to make her scream. Everyone
noticed her now and the figure stepped into the light,
it was Spike. “All right Slayer no need to burst my
ear drums, what’s wrong with you you’re jumpy tonight,
bad patrol, huh, I can relate.” Buffy noticed his mud
encrusted trench coat. Spike took the remaining sofa
and stretched out using his trench coat as a blanket.
Buffy walked into the front room and took the last
remaining free seat, Spike looked asleep. Joyce
Summers entered the front room, handed out the drinks
and was about to leave when Buffy asked her to stay,
she did and stood in the corner facing her daughter.
Giles put down his book, Spike opened an eye and Buffy
noticed her friends worried expressions on there
faces. She took a deep breath and said “I gathered you
here today because there’s something I’ve got to tell
you.......”
“Did you find a new demon?” Giles asked.
“Is it the apocalypse again Buffy?” Xander ventured.
“What is it Buffy?” Willow inquired.
“Shut up and let her talk!” A half asleep Spike yelled
from the couch.


“No it’s nothing Slayer-wise..........” Buffy took
another deep breath and said
“It’ssomethingcompletelypersonalandIhavenoideahowtotellyouguysthatI’ve
beenthinkingandIthinkI’mGay!” Buffy inhaled again and
looked like she was about to collapse. Due to his
vampiric hearing Spike was the only one the room who
had understood what Buffy had babbled. He sat up, his
trench coat flopping onto the floor “Bloody
hell......” Was all he muttered as he looked at Buffy,
curiosity in his eyes. “Pardon Buff but you sounded
like Blur then and I can’t understand him, even now.”
Xander stated.
Buffy looked Willow straight in the eyes, after all
she was in love with Willow, this was why she was
coming out, and said simply, meekly “I’m Gay.”
Anya looked Buffy in the eyes and said “So you are
going to admit it then......”
Xander looked shocked and with venom in his voice
stated “First you wouldn’t date living guys, now
you’re forsaking my whole gender? Bitch!” Xander stood
and ran from Buffy’s house, Anya following him,
promising to beat some sense into him.
Joyce fainted and Giles ran to her side, trying to
wake her and Willow, her reason for living, Willow
just looked hurt.
Buffy started to cry and she ran from the house.
She spent the next three hours wandering Riverside
park in the rain, the heaven’s tears mingling with her
own on her face. Eventually it became too cold even
for her and that was when she saw the still open
Espresso Pump.
She had spent the next few hours sitting there
thinking nursing only two cups of coffee over three
hours. That brought her back to now. She was so
crushed that they had not understood, worse that her
love for Willow was not reciprocated, that she was
once again considering running.
She was shocked when she looked up from her coffee and
her thoughts to notice Spike sitting next to her. She
was about to bolt when she felt his arm on her
shoulder and heard him say quietly “I understand
Buffy, It’s okay.”
She relaxed into the hug Spike offered her and she
whispered “Thank you.” in his ear. Spike smiled at her
and asked her if she wanted to walk and talk. Buffy
accepted and found herself wandering Riverside park
again with barely two hours to sunrise having a
meaningful conversation with a Vampire that until now
she had thought an uneducated pig.
“So you decided that you’re only interested in your
own gender then?” Spike asked tentatively.
“Yes, I mean, I think so, I mean there is
someone.........” Buffy responded shyly.
“Who?” inquired Spike.
“You first. You tell me why you are behaving
reasonably and sanely and accepting me.” Buffy stated
boldly.
Spike took a deep breath and began to explain “Okay.
Okay. Two shocks coming. Firstly I’m.........” Spike
hesitated and Buffy frowned at him “Okay, okay.
Firstly I’m............. Bi.” Buffy looked up at him,
clearly shocked but Spike carried on “ Secondly, the
only male I’ve ever loved is a name you don’t want to
hear.....” Buffy looked at his face and whispered
“Angel.......”
“Angelus........” Spike finished wiping a blood tear
from his eye.



“I’m over him now, really,” Spike said shakily “I had
to be after he vanished that night in Rumania but then
I did love him with my heart, body and....” Spike
began to laugh as he realised the last word in that
phrase was soul.
Buffy looked up at him, concerned and Spike stopped
laughing, resuming his talk “So basically I understand
somewhat what you’re going through and I also
understand why you had to come out, I’m sorry it went
so badly for you.”
As Spike finished Buffy half smiled pleased someone
could relate to what she was going through. Spike
nodded, indicating it was Buffy’s turn to share. She
looked him in the eyes and said, simply “I’m in love
with Willow.”
Spike looked at Buffy and nodded before asking “So
what are you gonna’ do?”
Buffy gave her honest response “I think I’m gonna
leave town, at least till’ I get my head
sorted........”. Spike nodded, not surprised, “Keep in
touch yeah? I can’t speak for the others but I will
worry about you.” Spike smiled, then reaching into his
jacket withdrew five hundred dollar bills and pressed
them into the inside pocket on Buffy’s coat as he
leant in to hug her. “Good luck and please write,
yeah?” Spike asked. Buffy broke the hug and looked up
at him “I promise I’ll write and Spike,” he smiled at
her “Yeah?” Buffy finished “Thank you for caring.”.
Buffy then turned and began to run to catch a bus back
to campus to get her things.
Spike took off in the opposite direction.

Willow was more certain than ever that she was in love
with Buffy, for it was Buffy who saved her and it was
Buffy who had been her first, only, true friend. It
had begun like any other evening, the gang waiting for
Buffy to get back from patrol to tell them about some
big threat, that’s what it had to be, Willow didn’t
dare to hope for .............. something else. Buffy
had come home and tried to tell them something
important. When she finally did. Everything had gone
mad. It had been barely seconds since Buffy had ran
out and Willow was so angry Buffy had not told her
first, privately and yet it awakened a hope within
Willow, perhaps they could be together......? Willow
began to cry, tears of pure happiness and frustration
at the same time. Spike got up, grabbed a spare coat,
walked back into the living room and said “You people
make me sick! She trusts you enough to lower all her
defences, show you her pure heart, and you stick a
knife in it!” Spike was almost at the front door when
Willow asked “Where are you going?” Spike looked at
Willow and, his face pure sincerity, said in a low
whisper “Someone has to comfort her.” He left the
house, slamming the door loudly in his wake, not
noticing the tears rolling down Willow’s face.
Willow had helped Giles get Joyce to bed and then she
had fallen into an uneasy fitful sleep on the couch in
the front room, Giles having taken the chair by
Joyce’s bed.

She awoke to an angry banging on Buffy’s front door,
according to her watch it had been about seven hours
since Buffy had stormed out, she was very worried
about Buffy as she, she lov.............
Her thoughts were interrupted as Buffy’s front door
flew off it’s hinges and Spike stormed into the front
room. “Willow this is about Buffy and IT IS BLOODY
IMPORTANT!” He yelled as he grabbed her and lifted her
over his shoulder to run from the house to his car. He
placed Willow in the passenger side of his 1969 Black
DeSoto before diving into the drivers side and making
like hell for the university campus.
Willow finally plucked up the nerve to speak “Spike
what’s going on? What’s happened to Buffy?” Spike
relaxed and began to drive slower “Willow I have to
know, are you Gay?”. Willow looked shocked “I mean, I
don’t know, I’m not sure, I mean.........” Spike
looked at her his voice concerned “Willow, are you
Gay.” Willow looked Spike in the eyes and barely
whispered “Yes!”. Spike smiled and visibly relaxed.
“What does this have to do with Buffy?” Willow asked.
Spike looked at her, his voice full of sincerity and
spoke softly “She’s in love with you.” .Willow began
to cry and smiled mumbling “She loves me... ....”.
Spike sounded pleased “I take it the feeling is mutual
then.......” Willow nodded happily. “Don’t be overcome
with joy just now, we ain’t out of the woods yet
Peaches...........” Spike said his voice suddenly
grave. On the drive to the University Spike brought
Willow up to speed just as dawn was
breaking..................

Buffy had caught the first that bus she found and had
been packing solidly for forty minutes, the part of
her brain that was functioning had just noticed the
sunrise. She grabbed Mr Gordo and stuffed him into her
rucksack, zipping it closed she hefted the heavy pack
onto her back. She grabbed her two suitcases and
headed towards the door, which was suddenly flung
open. Standing there Buffy saw the one thing she would
allways want but could never have. She dropped the
suitcases.
“Willow there’s something I have to tell
you.................”
Concern spread across Willow’s face “Buffy I
know...............you love me.”
“How do you know..............”
Willow looked scared “Spike told
me.....................”
“I should never have trusted him.........”
Willow looked gravely serious “No it’s okay Buffy,
really, he told me because I told
him.......................”
“What is it Will?”
Willow took a deep, long breath said with complete
sincerity “Buffy, I’m, I’m Gay and I love you!”


Willow could not believe what Spike had said about
Buffy’s plans and the second they had arrived she had
run straight to the dorms with Spike ahead of her,
just dodging the sunrise. She had reached the dorm and
flung the door open to be confronted by Buffy, her
true love, her reason to exist, about to run away.
Buffy dropped the suitcases.
“Willow there’s something I have to tell
you.................”
“Buffy I know...............you love me.”
Buffy looked shocked “How do you know..............”
“Spike told me.....................”
Buffy looked like she was about to cry “I should never
have trusted him.........”
“No it’s okay Buffy, really, he told me because I told
him.......................”
Concern spread over Buffy’s face “What is it Will?”
“Buffy, I’m, I’m Gay and I love you!”

As Buffy tried to comprehend this Willow leaned
forwards and kissed Buffy longingly, deeply and with
love. Buffy returned the kiss with just as much love.
“Will what are we going to do?” Buffy asked, worried.
“Don’t worry Buffy it will be okay, we’ll just have to
take things one day at a time.” Willow smiled and
kissed Buffy again.

Spike watched the whole scene from the hall through
the open door to the girl’s dorm. He left, smiling and
thinking if those girls could succeed, maybe he should
drop in on his sire...........................

The End


=====
RiteRaith

"I maybe Love's bitch, but at least I am man enough to admit it!" Spike, William the Bloody, from Lovers Walk
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