FIC: Female of the Species(Part 4)

["Pat Kelly" <bandits@xxxxxxxxx>]

Hey.

Leslie McKenna's email: (give her feedback!) mckenna@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

On with the show....

PART FOUR

Going into Joyce and Giles' house was almost like going back in time for Buffy. Back to a time when she felt secure and warm. A time in her childhood before her parents had started having problems. A time before she discovered who she was, and everything in her life turned upside down.

True, Giles wasn't her father, but he was the closest she had to one since her real father had gone to live in Europe on a permanent basis with his new wife. Well, since long before then, really. The only contact Buffy had now with Hank Summers was an occasional letter, and an even more occasional phone call. Sad though it was, Buffy had learned to accept that Hank was more interested in himself than in his daughter. Or, more likely, he couldn't cope with the fact that his only child spent her whole life risking it. That one day, most likely, she'd end up dying way too young. Unlike Joyce, who had also felt that way so often it had become a way of life, Hank had been able to take the coward's way out and abandon them all. Buffy knew that was a harsh word - coward - but it was how she'd come to think of her absentee father. When she thought of him at all, that was.

But Giles was different, of course. Giles was always there for her, no matter what danger or hurt to himself. First her Watcher, gradually her friend, now her step-father, Giles knew Buffy's every mood, what every expression on her face meant. Before she and Willow had become practically one person, Buffy would have said - only to herself, of course - that Giles knew her better than anyone. And while it was weird, Giles and her mom being married, Buffy was glad. Because it gave her a sense of something she'd believed she'd lost forever. It gave her a sense of family.

And she felt that sense of family now, sitting round the dining room table, amidst the remains of the wonderful meal her mother had prepared for them. Drinking wine and laughing - actually laughing, despite the god-awful events of the last couple of days.

That was good to see too, Buffy thought. Giles laughing, her mom laughing. Once upon a time, when things were really bad - when Angelus had been at his murdering worst - Buffy had despaired of ever hearing anyone laugh ever again. How things had changed. Looking at Willow, smiling, squeezing her hand, Buffy thought that her life had never been better. Weird, scary, being thrust into the real world of adults and having to protect people through the law, as opposed to through her calling, but better. Apart from the Pete Madison affair, that was. But in a bizarre, horrible way, being given responsibility for the investigation into his death was a sign that she was coming to be accepted by the Powers of Authority as well as the Powers That Be. Buffy hoped she wouldn't let either down.

"Well, better clear this mess up," Joyce said, rising to her feet, but Giles pre-empted her.

"You stay there," he said. "You cooked, we'll clear up. Won't we, Buffy?"

Giles smiled, and Buffy thought, not for the first time, how much younger Giles looked since he'd found love with her mother. How much more relaxed and at ease he seemed.

Good sex life, I guess, she found herself thinking, rather disturbingly. She saw Willow smirk, although she didn't look at her. Knew that her thoughts had been heard and suppressed a laugh. Quickly, she dismissed any more such thoughts from her head. Happy though she was that Joyce and Giles had got together; the thought of them being. intimate was taking happy way too far.

Obediently, Buffy followed Giles into the kitchen, began stacking plates and used utensils. Giles donned a full-length protective apron and ran water into the sink. This time, Buffy couldn't suppress her laughter.

"Nice apron, Giles," she sniggered.

"I'll have you know that this particular shirt was very expensive," he said, with all the dignity he could muster. "A present from your mother. Mustn't get water spots all over it."

"Designer Giles," Buffy remarked. "Even Cordelia would be impressed."

"Hmmm," Giles said, apparently not wanting to comment on Cordelia. He and Cordelia had never really got on; Giles had tolerated her because she was part of the gang but that was all. Nowadays they rarely saw each other. When they did, their conversation, such as it was, was merely polite small talk. Buffy knew that Giles held the probably correct opinion that Xander was insane, staying in the relationship, let alone living with her. Giles had a soft spot for Xander, despite the fact that Xander still enjoyed making cracks at Giles' expense. Giles said that Xander made the jokes because his self-esteem was low, and Buffy imagined that Cordelia would have made her friend's self-esteem even lower. But it wasn't her business to interfere with other peoples' lives.

"Giles, I had a weird dream last night," Buffy said, picking up a dish cloth and wiping up washed items with it.

"Oh yes? Weird as in bad?"

Buffy hesitated; actually, she wasn't even sure she should bother telling Giles now. Looking back, the dream didn't seem that important any more. But she'd mentioned it now, and Giles was looking at her expectantly.

"No. Not bad. But weird."

She saw Giles' mouth twitch in a half-smile.

"You know, Buffy, for a person who has had a college education and who now works in a very prestigious position of trust, you can be surprisingly imprecise at times."

"Yeah well, it was. weird."

"Details, please, Buffy. Weird tells me nothing, now does it?"

Buffy fought with the urge to hit him with her tea-towel. She hated it when Giles went all proper on her.

"Okay, okay. The dream was about demons."

"Demons? Another piece of vague information. What kind of demons? You should know by now, with all your experience."

"Well, that's just it. I don't know what kind of demons they were. I couldn't see them. But the voice that spoke to me was feminine."

"Feminine?" Giles mused. "Now that is interesting."

"Yeah, well I thought so too. Because most demons seem gender-less, right? Or," she added darkly, thinking of Angelus again, "male."

"Quite right, Buffy." Giles took off his glasses, began to clean them in the way he always did when something intrigued him. Buffy knew by now it was a concentration mechanism. "Tell me more."

"Well, the voice said that. that they - the demons, that is - would bring the human race into a new age of peace, where there'd be no violence, or war, or heartbreak." Buffy shrugged. "Like I said, it was weird."

Giles nodded.

"Weird," he echoed. "Yes, weird indeed. I take it this dream felt prophetic, or you wouldn't have mentioned it to me." He paused. "Did you tell Willow?"

"Yeah. She told me to tell you."

"You don't think that perhaps she may be able to tell you more than I? Because Willow is more in touch with the feminine side of occult concerns than I ever could be."

"Well. I guess. But neither of us really thought of that. I mean, these are demons, right, and demons are your speciality." She thought for a few moments. "They did say that I'd gain in power, me and Will together, actually. They referred to her as the Sorceress and me as the Slayer."

"Interesting. Very interesting. But of course, all entities of any kind of sentience would know both your reputation, and Willow's by now. What sort of power did they offer you?"

"Wasn't so much an offer," Buffy admitted. "More like a foretelling. That if we didn't fight them, we would gain from it."

"And what was the feeling you got from the dream? Was it a feeling of dread, of foreboding? Did these creatures feel evil?"

"No. Not evil, Giles. But not good either. Just kind of. coldly neutral."

"Well, all I can say is that I'll look into it for you. But are you certain they were demons?"

"I. I just assumed. I mean, they smelt like demons. The whole sense I got was of demons."

"Well, Buffy, you know as well as I do that demons can work for the power of good as well as the power of evil."

"Yeah, I know. I guess we just haven't come across many of them, have we?"

"No, Buffy, we haven't. But who knows, this may well be a breakthrough, a turn for the good of humankind."

"I won't hold my breath," Buffy said sceptically. "These things have a nasty habit of blowing up in your face. One minute you're happy. Next, you're hit by a million megaton disaster and you're trying to save the world again."

Giles nodded, went back to his washing-up.

"Well, as I said, I'll look into for you. But you and Willow should look into it too."

"Got a less pleasant investigation to conduct, Giles." Referring to Pete Madison, Buffy began picking up plates and methodically wiped them dry. "Somehow, that seems. more important right now."

"Well, you just take care, Buffy. Don't go in over your head."

"Quit fussing, Giles. I can look after myself."

Giles smiled with fatherly pride.

"I know, Buffy" he said. "I know."

Later, back at home, Buffy told Willow everything she'd told Giles.

"He thinks you should maybe try to find out, Will," she finished, saw Willow frown uncertainly.

"Me?"

"Yeah, well, as he quite rightly said, you're the one who's in touch with female power. You should maybe invoke that."

"Call upon the Goddess?" Willow said; she sounded hesitant, unsure.

"Well, yeah, why not?"

"I. Well, because she's a huge power to call upon. I don't know if it's right, to call upon her now. We don't have much evidence of any huge disaster and she might be angry."

"Will, with all due respect, that sounds kinda crazy. You're her beloved, her Great Sorceress. Of course she'll help you, if you need her aid. I mean, you call upon her in your spell workings, don't you?"

Buffy was referring to Willow's Wiccan power, of which she was a human embodiment. Again, Willow frowned, shrugged.

"Well, not exactly," she said. "Depending on the spell or meditation, I call upon the appropriate entity, you know that. It's not the same thing as tapping into the highest power, which should only be called upon in dire emergencies."

Buffy sighed; it wasn't like Willow to be so reticent.

"Well, supposing this is a dire emergency, and you don't call on her? And then something happens and you could've prevented it?"

Unfair, Buffy, she told herself, wondering why she was pushing the idea, because her dream certainly wasn't a dream of the dire emergency that Willow had referred to. Far from it.

"Yeah, unfair, Buffy," Willow echoed. Then she smiled reluctantly. "But seeing as how you think it's so important, I'll try. But she may not come." Another reluctant smile. "You know I'd do anything for you, I guess."

Now Buffy felt slightly shamed; she didn't want to put Willow in any danger, but what danger could come to Willow, the Goddess' favourite? None, she hoped.

"Well, come on then," Willow said.

"Now?" Buffy asked.

"No time like the present, right? Let's do it while it's fresh inside our minds."

Buffy smiled; once Willow made up her mind to do something - or was persuaded - she was incredibly stubborn and single-minded in her purpose.

They prepared the main room of the apartment as best they could, given the limited space. Under ideal circumstances they would have had a proper room set aside just for sacred space, or gone into nature to call upon the Goddess, but they lived in a New York apartment and had to make the most of what they had. And as Willow always said, ceremony was all well and good, but it was the heart's intention that really mattered.

So they sat in the candlelight - white candles for the Goddess' purity - and Willow began a low-spoken invocation.

"Oh Great Mother Goddess who holds the answers to the Great Mysteries, I open myself to you and your divine nature. Attend on me now. Make me one with your essence."

As always, when Willow invoked the deities, her face took on a serenity that made Buffy want to weep.

So beautiful, she thought, as Willow seemed to glow from inside, her features becoming ethereal and other-worldly. So beautiful.

".Arianrhod, Diana, Freya, Lilith, Hecate." The list of goddess names went on, Willow's voice became stronger. "Combine your powers together to become the Great One Mother of All. Attend on me, Willow, your daughter."

Willow continued saying the words, and as she spoke the light in the room began to ripple, and Buffy knew that Willow's plea had been heard. The Goddess - or at least, a visible representation of the Goddess - was coming.

The light became concentrated, became a pillar, then seemed to swirl into human female form. Buffy resisted the urge to throw herself on the ground at the figure's feet, such was the power it emanated. Not evil power, of course, from the Great One Mother, but terrifying nonetheless. Looking at her, glowing, perfect beauty incarnate, honey-gold skin glowing in pulsing rhythm, Buffy felt very small and insignificant.

"You call upon me, child?" the Goddess said; her voice was sweet yet stern.

"Yes, Mother," Willow responded.

"You call upon me in all my aspects?"

"Yes, Mother." Willow repeated.

"You call upon me as Maiden, Mother and Crone?"

"I do, Mother."

"So, hear my words, and know my essence, that you have invoked here this night. I am called a thousand, million names by those who speak my name. I am the Ancient One, who holds the immortal key to the immortal mysteries. You have spoken all my names, Willow Rosenberg, you have invoked me in all my forms. I ask again, is that what you want?"

"I need your help, Mother."

Buffy had a vague sense of true fear now. The Mother's words were obscure, somehow, yet absolutely specific. All her forms, she had said. Somehow that sounded like some kind of trick, but what trick, Buffy couldn't hope to fathom.

"Will." she said, but Willow raised her hand and stemmed Buffy's interruption.

"Will you help us, Mother?" Willow entreated.

"Is that what you want?" Still another question, and Buffy tried to intervene again.

"Will, I think."

"This is what we want," Willow said, overriding Buffy's objection again.

"Then tell me how I might aid you?"

Too late, Buffy thought. The Goddess had agreed to help and Buffy knew now that they couldn't change their minds. If the Goddess had been trying to warn Willow - however obliquely - then that time was past. Once the Goddess' aid fully was invoked, there was no turning from it.

Buffy tried to relax; the Goddess represented the force of female power, was an agent for Good, just a single step descended from the One Light.

Willow was telling the Goddess about Buffy's dream, and Buffy had the weirdest feeling that as Willow was explaining, so the Goddess was looking into Buffy's own head and extracting picture images directly from it. Very odd, that sensation, as though crawling fingers were probing the very matter of her brain. Yet it wasn't entirely unpleasant; rather like being a little drunk.

Finally, the sensation stopped, and Buffy felt herself alone in her body again.

"I will tell you, daughter," the Goddess began, "that a time of imbalance is approaching."

"Imbalance?" Willow asked.

"There must be a balance in all things. Light and dark, hot and cold, life and death, yin and yang. The balance of all these things is set to be tipped."

"How?" Buffy spoke now. "How is this balance to be tipped?"

The Goddess turned her moon-silver eyes on Buffy, and Buffy shrank back, could barely look into them because the eyes held the secrets to infinity and limitless time, and to look upon that for too long would send a person insane.

"Your investigations will lead you to know, Slayer."

"Is it gonna be a demon invasion?" Buffy asked, regardless of the feeling that she was slipping into an abyss of time and space that she couldn't crawl out of.

"You will discover that, Slayer," the Goddess said, as vague as ever. "But know, my daughter," speaking to Willow now, "that you are part of the imbalance."

Willow frowned, looked stunned and a little distressed.

"Me?" she said, her voice small and squeaky.

"All things come from the One Light, the One Creator. What you deem good or evil is merely what is. You have invoked me in all my aspects, and have helped upset the balance."

"But how?" Willow's distress was apparent now. "I didn't mean to make anything bad happen. How can I reverse it?"

"You cannot reverse what is pre-ordained," the Goddess said, sounding terribly compassionate, full of deep sympathy for her human child. "You were meant to precipitate matters. And now you will fight it."

"So there will be a fight then?" Buffy said; although appalled at what the Goddess had said - or hadn't said - she at least felt on safe ground that there would be something to fight.

"There will be a fight, Slayer, if you want a fight. But you may not want it."

"What does that mean?" Buffy asked, feeling frustration well up inside her, threatening to burst like a damn, but the Goddess fixed her with her moony eyes and shook her head.

"You will discover that soon enough, Slayer," the Goddess replied. "The honours offered to you in your dream were real, and they will be offered again. Are you strong enough to resist them?"

"What.?" Buffy asked, but the Goddess shook her head again, and the light began to fade from the room, and soon she was gone.

Buffy stared at Willow, stunned.

"Well that sure didn't go the way I thought it would," she said, more for something to say, to break the frightened silence, than anything else. Slowly, Willow shook her head. Then her face crumpled up, and she burst into a storm of tears. At once, Buffy drew her into her arms, held her tight, let her cry.

"It's my fault," Willow sobbed. "Whatever's about to happen, it's my fault."

"No, Will, the Goddess didn't say that. She said you helped precipitate it. That it's all pre-ordained. We just have to find out what it is that's about to go down, what it was you did that's gonna help bring it to a head."

"And how do we do that?"

"Same way as we always do - we research it. All aspects of the Goddess, Will. I think that's what we need to find out. And she said my investigation would lead to the uncovering of the truth. I guess she means Pete's death, right?" She bit her lips together. "You know, the coroner said that maybe it was an execution. Maybe he was right."

"Doesn't add up," Willow mumbled, wiping her eyes. "It all seems so unconnected. And then there's that bit about the offerings to us. What's that all about."

Buffy shrugged, sighed.

"Guess we'll soon find out."


"I have misplaced my pants." (Homer J. Simpson)

"You know what the secret of life is?"
"Your finger?"
"One thing. Just one thing."
"That's great, but what's the one thing?"
"That's what you gotta figure out."
(Jack Palance, Billy Crystal, City Slickers)

"I heard your heartbeat." (Buffy Summers, to Angel, ANGEL)