FIC: The Rocky Road Chapter 2: Paved with Good Intentions (3/?)

[~~Kimber <kacoe@xxxxxxx>]

Title: The Rocky Road Chapter 2: Paved with Good Intentions (3/?)
Author: Kimber (kacoe@xxxxxxx)
Disclaimer: All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.
Summary: Fourth in the Road Series
Spoilers: Everything is fair game.
Distribution: Pat Kelly, Rodrigo, Gary Thompson, Syrenslure and Serendipity. Anyone
else, e-mail me please.
Author's Notes: The more feedback I get the more fic I write. . .nuff said.
Thoughts are enclosed in < >
Flashback are enclosed in <<<< >>>>
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The short walk to Giles house was silent and strained. Tension hung thickly in the air
as both girls walked side by side. Buffy was careful to walk on the grass a little bit so
as not to brush up against her silent companion. So many emotions were running rampant
thought her body. Anger, fear, love, hate, hurt. . .love. She did love the redhead next
to her with all her heart, and then more besides. . .so why did she have such a bad
reaction to seeing her after over 4 months? Shed felt abandoned and left to her own
devices. She and Willow hardly had a chance to settle in and get used to this new
relationship, then Willow was off to England and Buffy was left in the dust.

They arrived at the door and walked in. Giles was standing by the bookshelf and Spike was
watching TV. Neither of them noticed the girls walk in. Willow cleared her throat.
Some things never change. MTV Spike?

Both British heads shot up at the sound of her voice. Giles smiled. Willow. Its so
nice to see you again.

She walked over to him and gave him an awkward but warm hug. Giles. Its nice to see
you too.

Welcome home Red. Sorry to call so late but business as usual doesnt wait for love. Or
something like that.

She turned to him and smiled. Nice to see you too Spike.

Buffy observed their little reunion still standing in the doorway. She was trying to get
her emotions under control. She breathed deeply and walked over to the couch. <Time to
put on the brave face.> Hey guys. She sat down. So whats so important you dragged
us here at 1am?

The slight anger wasnt lost on Giles. How was patrol?

She shrugged. Fine. I came, I saw, I plunged.

Very loud boot-clad footsteps could be heard coming down from the staircase. Hey,
G-Man! You have a t-shirt I could borrow? Billy Idol ripped mine when he. . . He
stopped at the bottom of the stairs dumbfounded. Oh, dear.

Buffy scrambled to her feet. Xander? She couldnt believe her eyes.

He tensed. Giles didnt tell him they were coming  he simply sent him upstairs to shower
saying in not too many words that he stunk big time.

Oh my God. Willow finally found her voice.

He blushed. Willow. She crossed the room and crashed into his arms.

He picked her up off the ground with easy and swung her around. His mind was spinning
too. This was good, it felt good to have his best friend back in his arms. . .and bad,
very bad. Shell never forgive him for what he did, neither would Buffy. Guilt took up
residence in his throat and he had trouble speaking. Its good to see you. So good.
He put her down and looked at her before sending his gaze to Buffy. What? No hug? She
remained firmly in place, shock carved deeply into her features. He knew that look.
Slowly he crossed the room and stood in front of her. He reached a tentative hand up and
touched her cheek. Hey there roomie.

You left. Without saying goodbye, you just left. She whispered. She glanced at Willow
then looked down at the ground.

He reached out to her and pulled her into his arms. She resisted at first but sunk in
slowly and returned the hug. Ive missed you. You big oaf, where have you been?

I took care of my uncle the first year. He got better so I moved back in with my parents
and started working the door at the Bronze. Anya blew back into town. He gestured for
them both to take a seat before he continued. And blew right back into my basement.
Ill spare you the details.

Thanks. Buffy and Willow said at the same time.

You guys did get my letters, right?

But where have you been for the past year and a half? Willow asked.

He shrugged. Around. I tried the whole cross country thing again after Anya left. .
.again. He ran his fingers needlessly through his hair. They both stared at him.
This? I went incognito for a while. I made the wrong people mad. . .got a little scared
to death, but I survived. He smiled but could tell it was forced. He noted their
worried expressions. Im fine, really. Giles here sent Spike after me, he took care of
the bad guys and here I sit. It was a fly by the seat of your pants excuse, but it was
all he could come up with at the time. It seemed to do the trick. God, you look like
hell, Buff.

She laughed. Thanks Xand. I can always count on you to pull the punches.

Giles watched the entire exchange with a stoic expression. How could he tell them now?
The love between the three of them spoke clearly, as did the guilt hidden behind Xanders
eyes. I have some information that may be troublesome.

Xanders head shot up to Giles. Now? It was too soon. . .he didnt have enough time to
enjoy this. Now it was going to be taken away so quickly.

Willow looked up at him. You said something about Quentin. I thought he was dead. We
left him in the sewers.

Quite right. By all accounts, there is nothing that leads me to believe that hes
alive. Ive consulted my books and there is some odd activity coming up. I want to look
into it just to be sure Quentin and Ethan arent involved.

Thats it? Giles, we can research tomorrow, and I just got home. Willow protested a
little annoyed.

He didnt tell me he called you guys. Xander interrupted. I think he wanted to
surprise you.

Oh. Willow immediately regretted her words. Im sorry Giles, I didnt mean.. . .

Its quite alright. He smiled at her.

I dont know about you guys, but Im beat. Two hours tied up in the back of a van with
Spike will do that to a person. Xander shot him a glance.

Well you werent exactly willing you bloke. It took me almost a year to find your
pathetic hide.

Whats going on? Buffy cut in slightly amused. Spike tying Xander up. Now thats
gotta be. . 

Not high on my list of explanations Id like to make. Xander cut in.

Giles cleared his throat. That may be best saved for tomorrow when were all wide
awake.

Good. I think Im wiped out too. The jet lag is starting to kick in. She looked over
at Buffy.

She nodded. Yeah. Patrol was a little rough. Ill be going too if you dont mind.

Giles led them to the door. Indeed. Well see you around noon then?

Both girls nodded and headed back for home.

Giles closed the door and stood there for a moment.

You didnt tell them. Xander stated.

No. No I didnt.

Thank you.

He turned. And I wont. Thats your job.

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Theyd been sitting facing each other for the past ten minutes now. Buffy on the couch
and Willow in the armchair. Neither one of them was budging. Willow finally broke
through the silence. It was good to see Xander again. I cant believe his hair.

Buffy nodded. Yeah.. He looks like a cheap knock off of. . .

Spike, yeah, and I never thought Id say this but it was nice to see Spike, I mean after
all he was so involved in everything in England, he saved our lives and still he never
changes I cant believe he still watches MTV and Giles looked the same too although I saw
him a few months ago before I. . .

Will. Buffy looked up at her.

She blushed and looked at her hands in her lap. Sorry. Babble mode.

Its okay. I kinda missed it. She whispered.

Willow looked up. Really?

Kinda.

Is there anything else. . .you know. . .you kinda missed?

Well. . .

Willow got up and sat down next to her on the couch. I missed. . .some stuff too.

Yeah?

Mmm. I missed the ice cream parlor down the block, and I missed the patrols and Giles,
and going to the Grotto and. Willow looked over at her. Her expression was unreadable,
like a blank wall. Buffy, I missed you.

Yeah?

Every day. But I had to do it, I had to finish my studies and I knew it wouldnt be fair
of me to ask you to come because you had to stay here.

But I would have.

I know and I didnt ask because you would have.

So you didnt want me around, is that it? Would I have just been an embarrassment to you
and your big Oxford friends? The anger flared up a little.

No! Thats not it. I wanted you there, you dont know how much. But I couldnt ask you
to go because it would have been selfish of me. You have to know that I want you all to
myself and you would have been a distraction. . .but in a good way. She reached for her
hand and was met with no resistance. It was really crappy of me to leave like that and
not tell you about the spell. We were just starting out here and all of a sudden I found
it and then I got the admissions packet in the mail. . .I forgot Id even sent for it.

I wish you had talked to me about it.

Im so sorry Buffy. There are other reasons I went back too. She took a deep breath
before continuing. I needed. . .I needed to go back there to where it happened. I
remember what happened, you know that. . .but I never came to terms with it, never faced
it. I had to go back to that alley, and I had to do it alone. I needed to show myself
that. . .that it didnt own me. . .that I owned it and I could make it as big or as little
as I wanted to. . .so I went there and I looked around and I cried and I shook and I
remembered and I shrunk it down to a tiny little insignificant piece of dust thats never
gonna haunt me again. She sniffled a little and wiped a fresh tear from her eye. And I
had to do it alone. . .for me. . .so it wouldnt consume or affect us. She whispered.

Buffy sat quietly taking it all in. She never wanted to realize that there were some
things Willow had to do on her own, had to face herself. And here she was feeling angry
and hurt and resentful when in the end, shed done it for her, for them. Will, I never
realized. . .I thought it was over. I didnt even see that you were still hurting from
it.

Because I didnt want you to. She reached into her pocket and pulled out something they
both knew very well. I changed the potency of the ring. It didnt make me super
detached girl, but it didnt allow my emotions to take over either. She placed it on the
table. When I left England I took it off. . .and I never want to wear it again. She
touched Buffys face lightly. I never want to not feel anything around you ever. I want
you to know it all. . .the good, bad and ugly Willow. She attempted a lighthearted smile

Buffy leaned into her touch. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the feeling. . .this
feeling shed yearned for over the past few months. . .Willow had returned home to her, to
their home. She couldnt move, couldnt speak. . .all she could do is feel.

Theres an ugly Willow?

Buffy. She smiled more sincerely now.

Cuz if there was I must have skipped that chapter.

Willow leaned over and kissed her on the cheek. It was warm, friendly. . .sort of a
lets get used to this again kiss. She leaned back and was met with a pair of
glistening hazel eyes. She couldnt help but smile. Hey. She whispered.

Hey yourself. She leaned over and placed her head in Willows lap. For that second, in
that one moment, she felt like everything would maybe be okay.

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Im in. He whispered into the receiver.

Your just toying with me again. The voice couldnt hide some astonishment. You know
how I hate that.

It was too easy. A self satisfactory grin crossed his face. I felt cheap.

Remember the plan, darling. Even now I can hear the stars begin to weep. Theyre
afraid. . .very afraid.

Dont worry, baby. Ive got it covered. He hung up the phone and smiled to himself.
He walked over to the window, took out a cigarette and lit it. Inhaling deeply, then
exhaling, he couldnt help but chuckle. <Too easy.>

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