Fic: "Starlight", Parts 13,14,and 15

["jbstories _" <jbstories@xxxxxxxxxxx>]

Part Thirteen

"What are you thinking about?" Willow asked looking over at Buffy who was
facing the television but clearly not watching it.

The sun had just set and they were Giles's bedroom-which seemed to be their
designated area of late-watching the television. An old episode of Star
Trek the Next Generation was on, but Buffy had tuned it out. She had
started to watch it, but then she gotten distracted by something shiny and
when she turned back to television the crew was in Victorian England and she
couldn't figure out how it happened.

"Nothing really," Buffy responded looking over at Willow who was stretched
out on the bed. Buffy, was seated in her chair beside the bed. "My mind's
as blank as…something that's blank a lot," Buffy continued lamely.

"Do you feel anything?" Willow asked watching her intently.

Giles had told them that the reaction from the serum wouldn't be immediate,
he had guessed that it would take a number of hours, maybe even a day before
Buffy began to get the use of her legs back.

Buffy was silent for a moment as she concentrated on taking stock of what
her body was feeling. After a moment she looked over at Willow and shook
her head.

"I don't think enough time has passed," Buffy said softly. The statement
was true enough, but both of them really didn't care about the validity of
the statement they just wanted Buffy to have her legs back.

Willow nodded.

"Yeah, it's only been a couple of hours," she said lying back down but
keeping her eyes fixed on Buffy. "Why don't you come lie down?" Willow
asked. She could definitely use some snuggles.

"Yeah," Buffy responded, but she sounded distracted and made no move to
actually get on the bed. "Before though…I just wanted to…" she trailed off
shaking her head at her own inability to just say what she meant. "Could we
just talk for a minute?"

"Of course," Willow said sitting up. There was a seriousness in Buffy's
voice that made her apprehensive. Suddenly she found herself wondering
Buffy was having second thoughts about what had happened between them in the
morning. After Giles had made the injection, they had all sat around for
while talking-actually they had all sat around and listened to Xander regale
Buffy with a tale of his heroics-which hadn't really given Willow and Buffy
a chance to talk about what they had done or said earlier. Then once Xander
had gone home, and Spike had gone out to wallow at Willy's, Willow and Buffy
had come back to the bedroom to rest. But, much to Willow's chagrin Buffy
didn't seem to want to talk about what had happened between them, or of
anything of significance really. After exhausting all the channels of
useless chit chat they had access to they had settled into silence watching
the television.

But that was almost an hour ago, and Willow needed to talk. She needed to
find out what was going on inside of Buffy's head, and more importantly
inside of Buffy's heart.

"About what…happened this morning," Buffy started looking down at her
stocking feet. "I just…if this doesn't work, this serum thing, and I don't
get my legs back, I just want you know that…" she faltered here, not wanting
to say the words she was going to, but feeling that they should be said.
"…that I won't hold you to what you said this morning. We can just pretend
like it never happened," Buffy finished never lifting her eyes from her
feet.

Willow stared at her for a moment in state of complete shock.

"Do you really think that little of me? Of yourself?" Willow asked a moment
later. She had thought that her tone would have been angrier, but it
wasn't, it was more disillusioned. She now understood why Buffy had been so
reluctant to talk since they got back. She was afraid that if she didn't
get her legs back, she wouldn't want her anymore. It was the most
ridiculous thing Willow had ever heard, but it broke her heart.

Buffy looked up at her finally when Willow posed those questions.

"I…it has nothing to do with how much or how little I think of you, or
myself," Buffy responded softly. "I think the world of you…I love you," she
continued plaintively. "And I know that this," she said gesturing to her
current position, "couldn't have been what you had in mind when…if you ever
considered what a relationship with me might be like."

Willow dropped down off of the bed after Buffy had finished speaking and
knelt in front of the Slayer.

"Obviously, those nights that I lay awake wondering what it would be like to
be with you it wasn't like this," Willow started gesturing to their current
situation. "There was no reason to think of it like this…but it doesn't
matter," she continued. "It wasn't the being on a beach in Fiji part, or
lying by the fire part of the dreams that was important…it was the being
with Buffy part that made it magical," Willow said taking Buffy's hand into
hers. "And it's the being with Buffy part that's important now, and I am
and it's wonderful," Willow went on in an reverent tone. "I hope with all
of my heart that this serum works, because I've spent a considerable amount
of time thinking about all of the bad that will come if it doesn't and…but
never, ever, would this or anything else change the way that I feel about
you," she finished.

Buffy was silent for a moment after Willow finished speaking. There was
just one last thing nagging at her, one last worry that she couldn't shake
and for the life of her she didn't know how to bring it up in delicate way.
It was just too…

"Just…what if…you know I may…" Buffy started to say, then she just stopped
trying to bring herself together. "What if I can't…you know…consummate the
relationship?" she asked her voice dropping to a whisper.

Willow smiled, that sweet, irresistible, sexy, completely Willow smile that
could melt the hardest of hearts, even in deepest depths of a Siberian
mineshaft in the middle of night in December.

"Is that what you're really worried about?" she asked softly.

"Well," Buffy said a little defensively. "There's also the not being able
to save the world, and fight demons and stuff…I mean those are serious
concerns as well," she went on avoiding Willow's gaze.

Willow stood up and lowered herself onto Buffy's lap. Something she seemed
to be doing a lot of lately, and something they both seemed to be partial
to. Buffy looked at her quizzically but didn't say anything as Willow
settled herself. Once she was settled Willow leaned in and brought their
lips together in a sweet, tender, passionate, hungry kiss that had both of
them arching forward trying to increase the contact between them so that
they could further devour each other. It was one of those all-consuming
kisses where sparks erupted behind their eye lids and their hearts felt as
if they would beat out their chests, and they weren't sure if they were in
heaven or still on earth.

"You feel that?" Willow asked placing her hand over Buffy's heart once they
broke apart.

Buffy nodded her answer trying to get her breathing under control.

"I don't think that…consummation is going to be a problem," Willow said
grinning. "In fact I think we almost consummated a minute ago," she went on
her grin taking on a lecherous leaning.

Buffy stared at Willow for a moment, then broke out into a huge smile and
leaned forward resting her head against Willow's chest.

"Tell me about it," Buffy said. "I think I'm still consummating," she added
chuckling. Her breathing still hadn't returned to it's regular routine and
she doubted that as long as she was this close to Willow that it would.

"Which brings me back to my original question," Willow commented planting a
kiss on the top of Buffy's head.

"You had a question?" Buffy asked genuinely perplexed.

"Why don't you come lie down," Willow clarified.

"Oh that," Buffy responded tilting her head up so that she was looking up
into Willow's eyes. "I think that's a very good idea. Excellent actually."

====================================================

Part Fourteen

Buffy ran her hand up and down Willow's left side as their kiss gained
momentum. Then, as her lips moved down to kiss Willow's jaw line her hand
started to creep under Willow's shirt, and then back up again. This time
flesh on flesh, creating a delicious friction. Willow arched up into
Buffy's touch and a low moan escaped from somewhere deep in her throat
setting Buffy's blood on fire. As her hand slowly made it's way up Willow's
torso Buffy returned her lips to those of the hacker deepening the kiss as
her hand gently traced the curve of Willow's breast.

"Oh God," Willow groaned pushing forward into Buffy's body. She tore her
lips away from the Slayer's and buried her head in the crook of Buffy's
shoulder, kissing and nipping at the exposed skin there as Buffy explored
the regions under her shirt.

Buffy responded by lifting Willow's shirt up a bit more to give herself
better access. After placing a small kiss on Willow's cheek-which was the
only part of the hackers face still visible to her-she devoted her full
attention to manipulating the mound of flesh cupped in her hand.

Willow responded by raking her hand down Buffy's back and dragging them even
closer together. As Buffy shifted them so that Willow was lying flat on her
back and the Slayer was leaning over her Willow worked a hand under Buffy's
tank top and began her own journey into the unknown. Buffy moaned and
pushed down onto Willow seemingly trying to fuse their bodies together while
doubling her own efforts.

"Will," Buffy said in a somewhat strangled voice.

"Uh huh," Willow answered not really up to forming real words.

"This has got to go," Buffy said fingering the material of Willow's shirt
with her free hand.

"Uh huh," Willow responded already starting to pull the tank top Buffy was
wearing over her head.


Once the Slayer was suitably undressed-at least for the time being-Buffy
concentrated on removing Willow shirt while trying not to lose contact with
any part of the hackers body. It was a complicated task to say the least,
but Buffy managed. Dedication and motivation will do that.

The moment Willow's shirt was over her head Buffy flung it across the room
and returned her attention to Willow's neck which she rained sweet kisses
on, before devoting her attention to sucking on Willow's pulse point while
the red head raked her nails down Buffy's back while moaning her name.

Buffy slowly made her way down, kissing Willow's collar bone, and shoulders,
until she finally made her way to valley in between her breasts. When Buffy
concentrated her efforts there she could feel as well as hear Willow growl,
and felt Willow's hips pushing up into hers.

Suddenly Buffy stopped what she was doing and froze.

"What is it?" Willow asked in a ragged tone of voice.

"Shhhh," Buffy said bring a finger up to her lips. "Be very, very quiet,"
she continued.

"Wha…"

"Buffy, Willow!" Giles called. Buffy could hear him approaching the
bedroom. "Dinner is ready," he continued still coming towards the room.

"Okay, we'll be right there!" Buffy yelled back hoping the footsteps would
stop. They didn't.

"It's quite alright, I need to come in anyway to get…." The rest of his
response was cut off.

"You can't!" Buffy yelled motioning for Willow to try and find their
clothes. "Willow's changing," Buffy went on ignoring the look Willow shot
her. "There's a half-naked teenager in here, that's a definite no for
admittance," Buffy continued catching the shirt Willow threw at her.

"Why is she changing?" Giles asked in a perplexed tone. Buffy sighed in
relieve, the footsteps had stopped.

"Uh…she was wearing wool?" Buffy responded though it sounded more like a
question.

"No she wasn't," Giles responded staring hard at the door.

"Right," Buffy said pulling her shirt over her head. "I meant she changing
into something wool…she's cold," Buffy went on dragging her chair around so
that she could get into it.

"Buffy, it's over 80 degrees," Giles said a bit of irritation creeping into
his voice.

"She's sensitive to changes in temperature," Buffy said settling into her
chair. "Lights," Buffy whispered to Willow. "Turn on some more lights."

"Well, I'm coming in now," Giles said opening the door. "If she's not done
then I'll apologize profusely."

"Gil….whatever," Buffy responded. As Giles opened the door Willow hoped on
the bed and turned on the television.

"See," Giles said moving over to the closet. "All's well that ends well,"
he continued. Then he turned and looked at Willow. "That's what you had on
this morning," he said squinting.

"Ah…" Willow said looking over at Buffy-it was, after all, her brilliant
idea. "Ah…" she continued a moment later when Buffy offered no assistance.

"Articulate as always I see," Giles responded deciding he didn't want to
know what they had been doing. "Like I said dinner has been served," he
went on heading for the door. "Oh, and you might want to open a
window…you're both looking a little flushed," and with that he was gone.

=============================================================

Part Fifteen

Willow leaned back in her chair and immersed herself in an activity that was
fast becoming her favorite pastime. It was a little game that she liked to
call "Buffy Gazing". The best part about the game was that it was almost
sinfully easy. All that one had to do to win was, gaze at Buffy, and she
could definitely handle that. Buffy was sitting across the table from her.
They were all seated around Giles table in a very Brady moment. Giles and
Buffy were engaged in an arduous discussion-and Willow used the term
lightly-about the best ingredients to put on a Kabob. Willow had no idea
how the conversation had arrived at such a topic of universal importance,
and since she didn't really have anything useful to add the eloquent polemic
taking place, she decided to Buffy gaze.

"Is too," Buffy said leaning forward so that her face was only inches away
from Giles's.

"Is not," Giles's shot back not backing down. "That didn't even make
sense," he went on in a huffy tone. "That wasn't even a point!"

"What?" Buffy asked clearly outraged. "That…that was entirely pointy!" she
continued emphatically.

"You did it again," Giles said pointing a finger in her face. "You're
non-sensical...you're a non-sensical Slayer!"

"A non-sensical Slayer?" Buffy asked incredulously. "And I'm the one who's
not making any sense?"

That was about the last of that compelling discussion Willow heard, for her
Buffy gazing soon metamorphisized into a deep reflection of recent events.
For the first time-in what felt like weeks, but had actually been
days-Willow was able to sit back and reflect on the journey she had been
through over the past few days-the horrors of it, the wonders of it, the
uncertainty, the excitement, the beauty and ugliness of it all, starting on
that one cold night. She had no idea that coming upon Buffy's body in that
cemetery, lying there cold and motionless, would only the first of the
horrors visited upon her that night and indeed in the days to follow.

Through no volition of her own, Willow found her mind wondering to the later
hours of that night. In her minds eye she saw herself, and Xander
struggling to hold down Buffy's protesting body as Giles attempted to bind
her wound. It had without a doubt been one of the most horrific experiences
in her entire life, and truly considering the things she had seen and done
that was significant statement. Every time Buffy's body bucked, or shook,
or whimpered, it felt to Willow as if she herself were being branded-for
doing nothing to stop the pain, and for doing the only thing possible to
stop the pain.

She remembered staying with Buffy after the others had left, and she
remembered picking up the Slayers unmoving hand and bringing it to the side
of her face before succumbing to sea of tears that had been threatening to
overwhelm her from the moment she had first laid eyes on Buffy's prone form.
She had sat there, leaning over Buffy's body crying, raging, and aching
for the better part of an hour, trying to purge herself of the tumultuous
emotions brewing inside of her and failing miserably to do so. It was true
that sometimes a good cry helped, and it was also true that some times it
was as useless a book left unread, or a pencil with a broken point-utterly,
and wholly.

And then, joy of joys, Buffy had awoken. Bruised and beaten but not
defeated she had awaken, and the angels had sung and Willow's heart had
soared. In the company of doves, her heart had risen, had flown into the
white of the clouds and the sun had shone upon her warming her formerly
tortured soul. And there, wrapped together in as tender a moment as they
had ever shared, verging on a closeness that had only ever been considered
in the deepest depths of their unconscious minds and there buried before the
light of day could encroach upon its edges, they had lay if not in blissful
ignorance then in a state of happiness as close to it as one could get.

And then, horror of horrors, Buffy had fallen. And once again the dark,
towering, mountains of gloom appeared above, over, and around them.
Trapping them in yet another revolution of desolation.

But somehow, miraculously in those dark days, a bond already formed by years
of friendship and devotion had been cemented, and furthermore augmented.
Words had taken on deeper meanings, touches carried with them more serious
connotations, and looks which before had been obscure and ambiguous at best
began to take form and transform into something tangible, into something
obtainable. In those days something beautiful was being born between them;
it was phosphorescence in the dark, cruel depths of the ocean.

And now, here they were. Gathered around a table, in the home of a man both
of them considered a father of sorts-and one certainly preferable to the
contemptible examples of the species each of them had been given-sharing
dinner and discussion. Willow found herself thinking that this was quite a
remarkable near conclusion to all that had transpired erstwhile.

"Willow?"

The hacker was brought out of her musings by the sound of an impatient
Slayer voice.

"What's the up?" Willow asked looking over at Buffy.

"Giles wanted to know if you wanted…" Buffy began but she paused, a
positively libidinous smile working its way across her face, "…dessert," she
finished licking her lips.

Willow refusing to be baited meet Buffy's gaze and allowed an equally
sensual smile to cross her own lips.

"A truly inspired idea," she responded.

Buffy grinned, and they both turned to face Giles how was looking at them
rather oddly.

"Yes, well," he responded at a complete loss as to what he had just
witnessed. "How does Napoleon sound?"

"Is that a short joke?" Buffy inquired without missing a beat.

Willow smiled. Somehow, through some mysterious, untenable impetus a
feeling of rightness enveloped her. Everything would be all right, she was
sure of it. Everything had to be all right, she reasoned, for that was the
only suitable conclusion to the trek they had been taken on, so everything
had to be all right. And would be.

=============================================================

Later,
Janine
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