Female of the Species Part 9

[lesley@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx]

Hi all,

Here is part nine of Female of the Species.

I know I don't say much on the board, but I do read all the posts,
and am enjoying it all immensely. Thanks for all those people who've
written to say they enjoy my work. And thanks to two special people
on the list who are my support. They know who they are :-)

Here's Part Nine


PART NINE

Submerged in the sleep of the terminally sated, Buffy tried to ignore
the voice she heard calling to her. A voice she knew well, a voice
she loved, a voice that normally would have torn through any
barriers, flying straight to the heart of her soul.
But now - in her sense-drugged slumber - the voice came to her
from a great distance, like someone calling across a sea of rolling
fog. Easy to ignore. Easy just to drown in the dream-lake of blissful
memory, which pulled her down into its depths like clutching water-
weeds wrapped around her legs.
"Buffy¬  '¥ Buffy, wake up¬  '¥"
I don't wanna wake up¬  '¥
But the voice was becoming more insistent and ignoring it was
becoming more difficult. Reluctantly, although she tried to resist,
Buffy found herself breaking the spell and floating to the surface of
her mind.
"Buffy, what's the matter with you?"
Hands on her now, shaking her, making Buffy gasp herself fully
awake.
"What¬  '¥?" she muttered, blinking against the urge to sleep
again.
Wanting only to feel that¬  '¥ unnatural desire that made her
disinclined
to be part of this world anymore.
"Are you sick, Buffy?"
Her vision swam in and out of focus, couldn't seem to settle on
the pale face that hovered over her, or the red hair that brushed
against her forehead. She felt as though she could still scent exotic
flowers and breathed deeply, trying to recapture their heady
fragrance. But the scent was gone, and along with it, the almost
unbearable rapture she had experienced in her fantasy.
Was it a fantasy? Felt real¬  '¥
Fully awake finally, Buffy managed to fix on Willow's anxious
face, and seeing the deep, almost frightened concern there, burst
into tears of confusion and¬  '¥ yes¬  '¥ shame, although she
couldn't quite
remember why she should feel shame. A dream shouldn't make a person
feel ashamed, should it? And that's all it was, a dream of such
intensity it had seemed real.
Felt real, too¬  '¥
At once she felt the weight of Willow's body settle on the bed.
Couldn't remember getting into bed herself. Last thing Buffy knew,
she was on the floor. Now she felt gentle hands stroke over her sweat
moistened hair.
"Buffy, are you sick?" Willow repeated the question, more
frantically this time, as though she believed that Buffy truly had
been struck down with some terrible, debilitating illness.
"No¬  '¥" Buffy struggled to rise up against her pillows - which
were also damp with sweat - and as she did so, the sheet covering her
nude body fell away. She heard Willow moan in horror, then saw her
eyes fill with a kind of disgusted disbelief.
"No wonder you couldn't wake up," Willow said; her voice was
quavering. "You thought you could try and hide it from me, did you?"
Buffy shook her head, not understanding why Willow was looking
at her as though she had committed a murder.
"I don't¬  '¥"
"Look at yourself¬  '¥ It's¬  '¥ it's revolting¬  '¥" Willow's
voice broke,
and Buffy looked down at herself. Realised why Willow was so shocked.
"Oh," she whimpered, looking at the host of small bruises that
covered her normally flawless skin. Not bruises made by the violence
of hurt, but the violence of love. Bruises caused by a kissing,
sucking mouth, broken up by the small indents of teeth-marks. Love
bites. On her breasts, her taut flat belly, the inside of her
thighs¬  '¥ "Oh¬  '¥"
"Yeah, oh," Willow choked out; she was standing now, her arms
folded protectively across her chest, her whole posture screaming her
sense of betrayal and pain.
"But I¬  '¥" Buffy began, then stopped. "Not real¬  '¥" Shook
her head.
It hadn't been real, the dream she'd had this afternoon. Only a
fantasy, not even a fantasy really, because a fantasy was something
you dreamed up in your waking mind to take it away from reality.
Buffy loved her reality with Willow. She would never knowingly betray
it. Besides, she hadn't had anyone here earlier. She'd gone to Dreams
Fulfilled, discovered nothing, and come home again. "I wouldn't,
Will¬  '¥ I love you."
Willow made a motion of negation with her head; her eyes were
huge and filled with unshed tears, but Buffy knew they'd be shed soon
enough.
"Will, you know me better than that," Buffy pleaded. "You know
me, Will. Please, see into me, 'cause I can't remember what happened
here?"
Willow shook her head again, made a strangled sound at the back
of her throat.
"You've got¬  '¥ All over you¬  '¥" she managed.
Buffy looked down at the bruises again, then wrapped the sheet
tightly around her body.
"I can't blame you for thinking the worst, Will. If I were you,
I guess I'd feel the same. But I haven't been unfaithful to you, I
promise. Not¬  '¥" Buffy hesitated, then decided that honesty was the
only way to go if Willow were to even think of believing her. Of
trusting her. "Not consciously, anyway. But¬  '¥ but I dreamed¬  '¥"
"You dreamed?" Willow echoed. "You're trying to say these are
dreamed-up love bites all over your body?" Sarcasm and scepticism
simultaneously.
"No. No, the marks are real enough." Buffy was trying hard to
hang onto her control. She wanted to get up and shake Willow, force
her to see the truth - whatever that was. But the way of force was
inappropriate here. She had to gentle Willow into seeing inside
her. "But I don't think whatever made them was¬  '¥ Not physically
real."
An idea shone in her head and she was grateful for it. Something she
should have remembered instantly, given how it had so recently
happened. "Like Giles' experience in the library."
Willow's face changed then; her mouth opened; her eyes opened
wider, and lost their self-righteous anger.
"A succubus?" she said, still sounding sceptical, but not so
sarcastic, nor so aggrieved.
"I think so. Can't think what else could've done this."
"But¬  '¥ but succubi attack men. Not women."
"I think¬  '¥ I think I got too close, Will," Buffy said, and
went
on to tell Willow all that had happened that day, up until she left
Dreams Fulfilled. "After that," she concluded, "it's all kind of a
blur. No, not a blur, a blank. I thought¬  '¥ I thought Deanna coming
here was a dream, but I guess¬  '¥ I guess it wasn't. I must've
really
pissed her off, getting so close. I guess she wanted to make me
forget. And she did, temporarily."
Willow, Buffy was glad to see, had resumed her place on the bed,
was staring at Buffy with shocked eyes.
"You think¬  '¥ you think that she and her other succubi were
behind
Pete's death? I mean, we have to assume there are more than one of
them, don't we?"
"What else can I think?" Buffy replied. Willow shrugged; Buffy
could see she still wasn't entirely comfortable with the explanation
and who could blame her? "Will, please," Buffy said, putting a hand
over Willow's. "Please see that I'd never hurt you? You're
everything, Will. Please see?"
She felt Willow's hand grasp hers, interlocking the fingers,
felt their eyes interlock too, felt the mind-connection that until
now, Willow, in her pain, had resisted. Felt the truth flow between
them; not really knowing the reality herself, but seeing it reflected
at her from Willow's brain.
Coming into the apartment. Scenting jasmine, and orchids, and
lilies and bougainvillaea, being overpowered by the luscious, almost
sexual, odour. Then Deanna's voice in her fogged mind, whispering
love-words, making her weak with wanting. The touch of lip to lip,
hand to hand, skin to skin, breast to breast, thigh to thigh¬  '¥
"Ooh¬  '¥" Buffy whispered, feeling the sensations return again.
Knew that Willow felt them too, because the sorceress's hands were in
her still-moist hair, tangling there; their gaze was locked and
unbreakable.
"Mmm¬  '¥" Willow breathed in response. "I understand now. Not
real
but¬  '¥ Mmm¬  '¥ Irresistible¬  '¥"
Willow's mouth on hers then, undeniably there now, not fantasy.
Willow's tongue entwining with hers, awakening passion again.
Willow's love, true and sincere, not a false face, false body.
"I believe you," Willow whispered. "I believe you¬  '¥ No one
could've stopped it¬  '¥ I can't stop it now¬  '¥"
More open-mouthed, panting kisses.
"Don't stop," Buffy breathed. "You mustn't stop¬  '¥"
"It's giving into her¬  '¥" Mouth to neck, suckling there,
drawing
the delicate of her throat between her seeking lips. Lower¬  '¥
Buffy gasped louder¬  '¥
Lower¬  '¥
"You can do a protection later¬  '¥ Will. She's not here
now¬  '¥ Just
us¬  '¥"
"Just us¬  '¥" Willow repeated, her voice partially muffled
against
Buffy's skin. "Just us¬  '¥"
And for now, they let their pure love purify them.

When Buffy woke from sleep this time, there was no sense of her mind
being controlled or hazed. Making love with Willow had chased away
the demons, at least for now. But Buffy knew they would return if
they could. It was up to her and Willow to protect themselves, as
they should have done in the first place. Remiss of them, that. They
should have known from long experience that self-protection was the
first rule of fighting evil. And, Buffy thought grimly, looking at
the marks that still decorated her body, they were going to fight it.
"Hey, Will," Buffy said, shaking the still-sleeping Willow,
watching as she woke. Loving that moment when Willow roused from
sleep, like the dawning of the newborn sun.
"Hey, Buffy." A smile bright as the dawning sun too. Willow
looked over at the bedside clock. "Wow, we slept the evening away."
"And now we've got to work the night away, Will. We've been
lazy, letting evil get the upper hand. We gotta do something to head
it off until we discover exactly what's going on."
Willow nodded slowly.
"Yeah, you're right, of course. But¬  '¥ but because the Goddess
has
decided to play no more part in this, it's up to me, right? To do the
protections."
Buffy smiled, laid a hand over Willow's chest, above her heart.
"You've got the power, Will. Your heart, your soul, is¬  '¥ is
pure.
You may need the Goddess' help in some things, but not to protect us.
Your love, concentrated, will do that."
Willow shrugged modestly, but Buffy knew she was pleased, and in
turn, this pleased Buffy. The last thing she needed was Willow
feeling inadequate when she had no need to.
"Okay," Willow said, giving Buffy a brief hug. "But you have to
put your love into the protections too. You have your own power,
Buffy. It'll come from both of us. Yeah?"
"I like that idea." Buffy grinned, feeling better now they were
actually about to take positive action. "So what d'you have in mind?"
"I was thinking about maybe blessing personal items that mean a
lot to us. Like¬  '¥ your cross, and the pentacle that I always wear.
They mean something to us, and once they're imbued with power,
they'll work for us. I mean, I know your cross works against vampires
and all, but if I empower it, it'll work against these demons too.
They won't be able to influence us." Willow sat up higher against the
pillows, and Buffy was delighted to see that Willow was speaking with
something like her old confidence again. "And not just us, Buffy. I
mean, we should get something of Giles' too, and of Xander's. After
all, Giles has already had one visitation and Xander¬  '¥ Don't know
about Xander, but he sure doesn't look right to me."
Buffy nodded slowly.
"Yeah, he sure was acting weird before, Will. You think he's
been got at?"
"He said he hadn't been. But he could've been lying. Or maybe he
doesn't remember either."
"You don't suppose¬  '¥" Buffy began, then shook her head. The
idea
was crazy. Then she said it anyway. "You don't suppose those two have
been to Dreams Fulfilled, do you?"
"No way!"
"No, I know. Just crossed my mind for a second, that's all. I
know Giles wouldn't do that - be unfaithful to my mother, I mean. And
Xander¬  '¥ Well, he's just not the dating agency type, right?
But¬  '¥" A
sigh. Buffy couldn't quite put into words what she wanted to know.
But she tried. "Why would demons set up a dating agency, Will? I
mean, they can infiltrate dreams, even the waking mind. Why do
something like that? What do they want?"
But Willow had apparently run out of ideas.
"Don't know," she replied. "Let's just get these protections
made, then we can try to find out."

Buffy made a couple of calls, first to Giles, who agreed that
Willow's idea was something they should have thought of in the
beginning. He promised to visit within the hour and give them a
personal item to bless. Then she phoned Xander's apartment.
Perhaps surprisingly after the acrimonious parting of the
previous evening, Cordelia answered the call. Frankly, Buffy hadn't
expected her to still be there.
"Oh¬  '¥ Cordelia¬  '¥ Hi¬  '¥"
"Buffy?" Judging from the slightly nasal, sniffling quality of
Cordelia's tone, Buffy thought that she sounded as though she'd been
crying.
"Uh¬  '¥ Yeah." Somehow, Cordelia's obvious distress had thrown
her
off course. "Uh¬  '¥ I wasn't expecting you to¬  '¥"
"I know, I know. After my very public performance, right? You
expected me to be gone?"
"Well, yeah. Kind of."
A deep, shuddery sigh from the end of the line.
"Buffy, I don't know what to do," Cordelia said, and Buffy noted
that there was more than a little desperation in Cordelia's tone.
"About¬  '¥?"
"About Xander, of course." A touch of the customary Cordelia
curtness.
"Cordy, if you're unhappy with him you shouldn't be¬  '¥"
"No¬  '¥ No, Buffy, you don't understand. Xander's real¬  '¥
sick, and I
don't know what to do." Now Cordelia had broken down, and Buffy was
glad that she'd made the call. But¬  '¥
"Xander's sick?" she said. "If he's that sick, shouldn't he be
in a hospital?"
"No¬  '¥ Not that kind of sickness¬  '¥ I can't¬  '¥ I can't
talk about it
over the phone, okay? Buffy, can you and Willow come over? Now? I
don't know what to think, but I feel this is a soul-sickness. Not
something medicine can cure." A pause, during which Buffy felt
Cordelia's tension flow down the phone line. "I think it's something
only magic can cure."
Buffy didn't hesitate, not for a second.
"Just have to make a quick call, then we'll be over. Stay calm,
Cordy."
"I'll try."
Buffy replaced the receiver, picked it up again, called Giles'
mobile phone. He had just started out on his journey, so Buffy told
him to go to Xander's apartment instead. Then she explained to an
ever-increasingly curious Willow what had happened to Xander.
"Knew there was something wrong," Willow remarked. "It's okay.
We'll do the protections there, when we've seen Xander. Or come back
and do them here after. I'll bring what we need anyway."

Fifteen minutes later, they were on their way. Neither Buffy nor
Willow spoke; didn't seem much to say really, and they were both too
worried about their friend to indulge in unnecessary chatter. Both
women flew out of the car when they parked in the car park of
Xander's apartment building, saw Giles just drawing up in his own
clapped-out vehicle - he still insisted on driving something that
looked as though it wasn't road worthy. Giles nodded tersely when he
saw them, a sign that he was just as worried as they were. Still in
silence, they took the elevator up to the twelfth floor.
Cordelia opened the door at once, as though she'd heard them
coming. Or maybe felt them. Although Cordelia was cynical by nature,
she did have a certain sixth sense that was remarkably accurate, when
she let it be.
"Hi," she said, not even attempting a smile. Buffy saw how drawn
she appeared, as though she'd not slept in the past twenty-four
hours. Dark circles under her eyes marred the normally unblemished
complexion. And, even worse, convincing Buffy that something truly
bad had happened, she wore no make-up. Buffy couldn't recall the last
time she'd seen Cordelia without make-up adorning her face.
"So where is he?" Buffy asked, coming straight to the point?
Cordelia nodded in the direction of the bedroom.
"I¬  '¥ I¬  '¥ uh¬  '¥ wouldn't go in there, if I were you."
Cordelia's pale
features reddened in a blush that would have looked more at home on
the face of an inexperienced, ignorant virgin.
"I think we have to go in there if we're gonna see what's wrong
with him," Willow pointed out. "Cordelia, tell us what's happened?
Buffy said that you told her you thought it was some kind of soul-
sickness. What does that mean?"
"Okay¬  '¥ Last night, I had every intention of coming back here
and
packing up and leaving. I mean, I never wanted to see Xander again
after what he said to me." Cordelia looked down at her hands. "I know
I can be a bitch," she admitted. "I know I'm not easy to live with
and¬  '¥ and I guess Xander's justified if he doesn't love me
anymore.
But hearing it aloud, in front of you guys, it was harsh."
Buffy could understand that. Normally a very proud person,
Cordelia never could take a joke against herself, let alone tolerate
an all-out insult. Xander's behaviour had been insulting, to say the
least.
"Anyway, I was about to pack, then I just sat down and¬  '¥ and
felt
sorry for myself for a while. Didn't notice the time, until Xander
came rolling in. When he saw me, he was abusive again. Called me all
the names I guess he's got the right to call me. Then he took himself
off to bed and¬  '¥ and that's when it started."
"What started?" Giles asked.
Cordelia's red blush became an unfetching shade of purple, and
she began to peel the nail polish off her fingernails.
"Ah¬  '¥ the noises¬  '¥" She stopped talking again; Buffy
thought she
sounded like she might well choke.
"Noises?" Buffy prompted.
"Like he was¬  '¥ I can't say it¬  '¥. You know¬  '¥"
"Vomiting? Having a stomach upset?"
"NO!" Cordelia wailed. "No, like he was¬  '¥ enjoying himself."
Buffy looked at Willow; Willow returned the look. Cordelia's
meaning suddenly became crystal clear. Buffy tried not to smirk as
Giles understood and took off his glasses, began to study and clean
off non-existent particles from the gleaming, spotless lenses. Found
it easy to keep a straight face, given what had happened to her that
very afternoon.
"Well, yeah, okay. That was¬  '¥ insensitive of him¬  '¥" Buffy
began,
feeling she had to say something, although her voice sounded over-
loud in the embarrassed silence.
"That was what I thought," Cordelia agreed. "I mean, how could
he even think about¬  '¥ about¬  '¥ pleasuring himself when we'd good
as
split up? Obviously, it meant nothing to him. So I¬  '¥ I went in the
bedroom, meaning to¬  '¥ to have another argument, I guess, and¬  '¥
And
there he was¬  '¥"
"There he was, what?" Buffy asked, because Cordelia had faltered
again.
"I¬  '¥ He wasn't¬  '¥ You know¬  '¥ He was¬  '¥ He was laying
on the bed like¬  '¥
like he'd been crucified¬  '¥ Arms and legs¬  '¥ spread out¬  '¥
And¬  '¥ It was
like¬  '¥ like there was another woman in there with him, because he
was
mumbling about how good she made him feel and¬  '¥ and¬  '¥ I¬  '¥
couldn't take
that. He was awake but he was dreaming. That's how it seemed. And I
just left him. Fled. But it's been going on ever since. I can see
he's getting weaker but I can't rouse him. Nothing else exists for
him. Except whatever's going on in his head."
"We know what this is," Buffy said at once.
"You do?" If it were possible to sound both relieved and
sceptical at the same time, then that was how Cordelia sounded. "I
mean, he's been acting weird the last couple of days but never
anything like this before.
"We do," Willow affirmed, but to Buffy's relief, she didn't go
into details, just the basics of what the succubi were and what they
did.
"I know what it is too," Giles added. Then - bravely, Buffy
decided: "I had a similar experience myself. But not so¬  '¥
intense¬  '¥"
Cordelia stared at Giles for a long moment, then wrinkled her
perfect nose.
"Eww!" she exclaimed. "Gross."
Giles smiled faintly.
"Gross," he repeated. "Quite."
"So what are we going to do about it?" Cordelia asked.
Buffy smiled.
"We're gonna go in there and kick its ass," she replied. "And
then we're gonna find out what the hell's going on, and we're gonna
put a stop to it."