Re: FIC: Enough of Me (4/?)

["Dave Batdorf" <dbatdorf@xxxxxxxx>]

Kimber

This wonderfully simple fanfic is turning into a book. And that is great!!
I love your softer writing style, it makes the feelings of the characters
even more believable. I look forward to reading further installments soon.
Keep up the excelent writing ;-)

Dave
----- Original Message -----
From: "Kimber" <kacoe@xxxxxxx>
To: "BuffyLovesWillow" <buffyloveswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx>; "BuffyWantsWillow"
<buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Thursday, December 23, 1999 4:59 PM
Subject: [buffywantswillow] FIC: Enough of Me (4/?)


> Title: Enough of Me (4/?)
> Author: Kimber (kacoe@xxxxxxx)
> Disclaimer: I am a gnat in the world that is the Joss (watch out for
> the fly swatter). All characters belong to him and Mutant Enemy. I'm
> only borrowing them. Excerpts taken from the episode 'Wild at Heart'.
> Summary: Sequel to 'Many Facets'. Someone wigs out from the encounter,
> two of the most unlikely allies bond, and Christmas just doesn't seem
> like Christmas. Will it all work out?
> Spoilers: Everything up to and including "Hush" is fair game. All
> episodes are subject to bend to my will. *Bwahhhahahahaha*
> Distribution: Just drop me a line and it's yours to archive.
> Author's Notes: Feedback = Food. Thoughts are enclosed in < > and
> flashbacks are enclosed in <<< >>>
> ------------
>
> ~~You know what to do.~~~
>
> ~~What? Who are you? Where are you?~~~
>
> ~~It's not important. What's important is this: You know what to do.
> All you have to do is listen to your heart, and you'll know~~
>
> ~~Know what? Who are you talking about?~~
>
> ~~You love her, don't you?~~
>
> ~~ But I'm scared. I'm not exactly an expert on matters of the
> heart.~~~
>
> ~~But do you love her? Do you love her with everything you have to
> offer, and then more besides?~~
>
> ~~Yes. Yes I do.~~
>
> ~~Then you know what to do, you know how to heal her and make her whole
> again.~~
>
> ~~But I don't. I don't have the first clue about what she needs.~~
>
> ~~That's nonsense. It's all there inside of you. You both made a good
> start, now you've been sidetracked. Break it down to basics. Show
> her--give her--everything.~~
>
> ~~But she deserves so much more. I feel like I just can't give her
> enough. Am I enough for her? Hello? Hello? Where'd you go?~~
>
> "Wake up sleepy head." Willow was gently tugging on Buffy shirt, trying
> for the past ten minutes to get her up. "God, Buffy, you sleep like the
> dead. I'm glad I don't have to get you up for classes every morning."
>
> "Mmm, wha.ugh.Will.Grrrr."
>
> "And you said I didn't sound human in the morning. Come on, get up.
> Nana made pancakes and left them in the microwave. She and Giles went
> out early this morning and left a note." The slayer wasn't budging.
> "Come on, Buffy..I'm starving!"
>
> "All right, all right. Take it easy there, Red. Geez, you'd think I'd
> be able to sleep in on winter break at least." <You are way too chipper
> in the morning, Will>
>
> "I'm not way too chipper, and it's noon. You've slept practically the
> whole day away. Now come on, or I'll eat all the pancakes myself."
> With that, Willow walked out the door.
>
> Buffy hardly thought she was kidding. After a quick trip to the
> bathroom, Buffy padded her way into the kitchen. Willow's back was to
> her and she was pouring two mugs of coffee. Buffy snuck up behind her
> and wrapped her arms around the redhead's waist.
>
> "Mmm.good morning."
>
> "Good afternoon you mean. Do you always sleep that sound? It took me
> ten minutes to get any kind of sound out of you." Willow glanced behind
> her. <God, she's thisclose.>
>
> <You smell good.>"Yeah, mom swore she was gonna hire the school band to
> wake me up in the morning. I told her I'd just buy earmuffs."<I'd
> probably be more inclined to wake up every morning if I could wake up
> next to you.>
>
> "Buffy.."<Stop that.>
>
> <It's true, Will. I think the last time I slept so well was about a
> week ago..>
>
> "OK, how about some coffee?" Willow wiggled away from Buffy's grasp and
> set the two mugs on the kitchen table.
>
> "Oooh, pancakes. Even better, grandmother pancakes. If these are
> anything like my grandmother's pancakes then you'd better dig in before
> I finish them all."
>
> Willow threw Buffy a questioning glance. <Now that was too easy.>
>
> Buffy looked up and smiled. <I'm not through with you yet, Red.>
>
> They ate breakfast in compatible silence. Except for the little scuffle
> over the day's comics, things went smoothly. The note Nana left said
> that she and Giles would be gone most of the day and would be back after
> supper. She left some money and advised the girls to order out and then
> maybe rent some movies. Buffy hadn't finished eating yet, so Willow
> excused herself and went back to her room to change.
>
> ----
>
> <This is nuts. There has to be some sort of law or something against
> it. I can't stop thinking about her.> Willow was almost dressed when
> she felt two hands creep up along her sides. "Buffy..what are you
> doing?" She was beginning to get nervous.
>
> <I can't stop thinking about you either, Will.> "I've missed you."
>
> "I was only gone for two days." She saw Buffy frown in the mirror. "I
> missed you too. I'm sorry I ran out like that." <I didn't mean to hurt
> you. Did I hurt you?..I mean..I didn't mean to be mean.I just needed
> time to myself.I>
>
> <You know your cute when you babble.> "I understand Will. We all need a
> breather sometimes." Buffy smiled at her.
>
> Both of her hands rested on Willow's stomach. She squeezed a little
> tighter, rubbing just above her belly button with her thumbs. She saw
> Willow's eyes close and felt her breathing become irregular. Lightly,
> she kissed her shoulder, then the nape of her neck. Her breathing
> increased also. <You feel so good.>
>
> <So do you.> "Buffy, we can't. Neutral territory, remember?" She gave
> the blond a wide-eyed look in the mirror.
>
> "Your grandmother and Giles are out..more than likely for the rest of
> the day and half the night doing.watchery things. Technically."
>
> "It's still my grandmother's house. It's feels weird." <But still.>
>
> Buffy got a hopeful look in her eyes then chuckled. "Man, talk about
> thoughts and actions contradicting."
>
> "Yeah..score one for inner turmoil." Willow dead-panned.
>
> Buffy turned her around so that they were facing each other. "I want to
> help you Will. But I don't want to be the source of your inner
> turmoil. Am I?"
>
> Willow didn't answer and her mind didn't give anything away.
>
> "OK, then. Let me know when you're done so I can change too." Buffy
> retreated for the door and reached for the knob.
>
> "Buffy, wait." <Don't go.>
>
> She turned around, only to come face to face with Willow. "How did
> you..?" Buffy gave her a questioning look.
>
> "Yeah, well..I'm not THAT bad of a witch." The comment was followed by
> her patented Willow-smile.
>
> "Yes, I'm sure your not a bad witch. More of a good witch, like
> Glinda." Buffy began to move away, only to be trapped by two hands
> placed firmly on the door. "Will, if you insist on looking at me like
> that you'd better have something to back it up with. There's no
> guarantee I can control myself much lonmrunph.."
>
> Willow broke the sentence with a kiss. It was a tentative,
> not-sure-what-I'm-doing kiss. Light, lingering, soft. All of a sudden,
> Buffy's world consisted of kissing Willow, and becoming good at it.
> This was a great start. Buffy pulled her closer, to close the gap
> between them.. Willow gasped a little and Buffy took it as an
> invitation to deepen the kiss. Both of her hands went to the redhead's
> face, cupping it gently. Willow's hands lingered down to Buffy's sides,
> feeling her soft skin before wrapping her arms around the slayer's
> waist. Before long, they found themselves on the floor, Buffy
> straddling her lover, her fingers intertwined in red hair, soft, velvety
> red hair. They slowed the kissing, each not wanting to stop.both
> knowing they had to.
>
> <God, I thought I'd never be able to do this again..>
> Kiss.
> <Me either, I missed you so much..>
> Kiss, kiss
> <Don't leave me again, Will..I couldn't take it..>
> Kiss
> <I didn't want to.> "I just had some stuff I needed to work out.
> Things got all jumbley..and I didn't know how to handle them."
>
> "Like..things with Tara?" Buffy was propped up on one elbow now, her
> right hand resting on Willows stomach.
>
> "That..and Riley." Willow looked away and found a fascinating piece of
> fuzz on the carpet.
>
> "So you heard."
>
> "I heard." <You kissed him.>
>
> "He kissed me, Will. There's a difference. At least I'd like to think
> so."
>
> "Do you.I mean.would you?"
>
> "No, to both. I don't want to nor would I. I think I've finally found
> what I've been looking for..here." Buffy leaned down again and planted
> a light kiss on Willow's nose.
>
> <You're so sweet>
>
> "Hey, I aim to please." Buffy gave her a grin.
>
> "Hmm.this mind reading thing could turn out to be a problem. Don't you
> think it's a little.well.invasive." Willow posed the question.
>
> "Yes, but we've both managed to effectively block the other out when we
> really wanted to. I just think it's something that's going to take some
> getting used to, that's all."
>
> "Hey, I thought I was supposed to be the smart one?" Willow gave a
> little pout.
>
> "Yeah, well if your so smart, why did it take you so long to kiss me?"
>
> Willow scrunched up her nose. "Buffy.I was scared..I..." <You don't
> understand.>
>
> "I do Will, I'm sorry if that was harsh..I was only joking." She leaned
> down and put her head on Willow's shoulder.
>
> Silence.
>
> <Will>
>
> Nothing
>
> <Come on, Will.>
>
> "It's just that...when Oz left it was like..like I was split down the
> center and half of me was lost..I...I never thought it could hurt so
> much...I don't know if I could do that to myself again..to risk the
> hurt...to love." <again...like that>
>
> <That's what I thought, too>
>
> <Angel>
>
> <Yeah> "I'm sorry he left you. And I'm sorry I couldn't stop it..stop
> you from hurting..stop you from having to see them together in the
> crypt, but if you're gonna feel better, then."
>
> "I have to let him go. I know, Buffy." Willow shifted away and sat up
> to face her. "How did you do it? Get over Angel, I mean."
>
> "Come on Will, we all remember that one. I ran. I ran until I couldn't
> run anymore. I couldn't face it...I couldn't face you guys. I felt
> like I'd failed." Buffy's face was stoic, she wasn't revealing any kind
> of expression. "But, I got over it. Actually, I came back to Sunnydale
> and got over it. That's when it started to feel better - the emptiness
> inside. It was because of you..everyone else helped too.but it was you,
> Will. You didn't leave my side. And I got through." She smiled. "Let
> me in, Will. Let me help you."
>
> They sat there facing each other. Willow decided to try something she'd
> read on the internet. She put on her concentration face and focused on
> reaching out to Buffy mentally. She imagined her hand going out and
> tugging on the invisible string that was linking them together.
>
> <Ouch! What was that?>
>
> <Wow.I read about it being done but..I touched you.mentally. That was
> cool.>
>
> <Yeah, well.it felt like I just drank a slurpee too fast..can I try?>
>
> Willow nodded her head in agreement. "Just concentrate on doing it and
> you will. It's not that hard."
>
> Buffy reached out, seeking to follow the link into Willow's mind.
> Images flashed in front of her and she had to close her eyes to try and
> catch them all. Grave markers..grass.it was dark out..trees..a large
> stone building...Willow's hand reaching out and grabbing the door..she
> had something in her hands..down the stairs.bars.Oz and
> Veruca.naked..the bag and thermos dropped and Oz jumped up..
>
> <<<"Willow..." He starts putting on his pants.
>
> " Oh, my god. Oh, my god."
>
> " I know what you saw. It wasn't." Finishes putting on his pants. "I
> had to. I had to lock her in there with me."
>
> "I bet." She hugs herself.
>
> "She's like me. A wolf."
>
> "Well, I knew you two had a lot in common, but..."Oz tries to touch
> her. "Don't touch me!" She jerks back.
>
> "She was gonna hurt somebody. I didn't have a choice."
>
> "But you did. You could've told somebody. Your solution... Just put you
> two together in a room all night?"
>
> Having woken up, Veruca stands up bearing all. "Girl's got a point."
>
> Oz turns to her angrily. "Leave."
>
> Veruca puts her hands up in protest. "I'm just saying."
>
> Oz screams at her. "Now!" He turns back to Willow. "I'm sorry. I
> know."
>
> "I knew, you jerk. And you sat there, and you told me everything was
> fine?" She was crying now. "And that's as bad as... As.."
>
> "I know how it feels. I remember."
>
> "Oh. So what, this is payback? I had this coming?"
>
> "No. It's not.."
>
> "Because I thought that was behind us. And you know, what happened with
> Xander, it doesn't compare. Not with what you and I had. Not with
> whatever you've been doing with her."
>
> "I don't know what Veruca and I have done. When I change, it's like,
> it's like I'm gone and the wolf takes over."
>
> "But before this, when you were regular Oz, you had feelings for her,
> didn't you?"
>
> "No. I could sense something, but..."
>
> "But you wanted her... Like in an animal way? Like...More than you
> wanted me?" She runs off crying..
>
> "Willow!">>>
>
> Buffy opened her eyes..the tears streaming silently down her face. She
> felt it.felt everything Willow felt when she found Oz..the love in her
> heart as she opened the crypt.the shock at seeing him there naked with
> Veruca.the pain when she thought he was comparing it to Xander...she
> felt all of it.
>
> "Will..I didn't know.."
>
> "Yeah...it was pretty intense." Tears welled up in her eyes and
> threatened to spill over.
>
> "I felt..God, I felt it all. Everything you were feeling.it's like.it's
> like I was you. Like it was happening to me.."
>
> "I see you girls have been doing some research while we were gone."
> Nana was standing in the doorway.
>
>
> ///OK...part 4. It was rather difficult to write....That's it for now.
> I need a break from all the angst. I'm going to a movie tonight then
> I'll see if Nana decides to speak to me. If I don't talk to ya'all,
> have a great holiday.///
>
> ~~Kimber
> --
> Willow: It's horrible! That's me as a vampire? I'm so evil and...
> skanky. (aside to Buffy, worried) And I think I'm kinda gay.
> Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has nothing to do
> with the person it was.
> Angel: Well, actually... (gets a look from Buffy) uh, That's a good
> point.
>
> Visit me! http://go.to/KimsCorner
>
> >
> --
> Community email addresses:
> Post message: buffywantswillow@xxxxxxxxxxx
> Subscribe: buffywantswillow-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx
> Unsubscribe: buffywantswillow-unsubscribe@xxxxxxxxxxx
> List owner: buffywantswillow-owner@xxxxxxxxxxx
>
> Shortcut URL to this page:
> http://www.onelist.com/community/buffywantswillow
>