FIC: Back Home Again

[Kimber <kacoe@xxxxxxxx>]

Ok, folks...instead of tourturing you and sending it in parts, here is my contribution for
the weekly theme, 'Injury'. Hope you like it >:o) If you take it for your site, just
drop me a quick e-mail to let me know where it'll live or ask me and I'll e-mail it to you
in word or HTML format.

--------------------------------
Title: Back Home Again (1/1)
Author: Kimber (kacoe@xxxxxxx)
Disclaimer: I suck, Joss rules. All characters belong to him and Mutant Enemy. I'm only
borrowing them for a little non-profit fun.
Summary: This goes along with the weekly theme, 'Injuries'. Buffy and Willow have some
issues. Can a slayers love heal wounds that go deeper than the skin? I think Willow has
a little surprise for her . . . it can.
Spoilers: Angel's in LA and Oz has gone off to get in touch with his inner werewolf. 
Deal and move on. I know I have.
Distribution: Email me and you can have it.
Author's Notes: Thoughts are enclosed in < >

--------------


They walked for what seemed like forever. In reality, it had only been about twenty
minutes. Each of them was lost in thought about the game plan. Finding out about the
nest was purely coincidence. Buffy had stopped in at Willie's to get information about
the newest arrivals and overheard the conversation at the bar. So now Buffy, Willow,
Xander and Giles were making their way through the woods to a cave that was supposed to
house thirty or more of Sunnydale's newest residents.

Xander finally broke the silence, "Hey, Buff . . . are you sure we're going in the right
direction? I think we passed the same tree stump at least three times."

"Slayer sense, Xand. We're almost there."

They walked for another five minutes and came upon a large cave. "Looks like we've got
ourselves a den." Buffy looked very pleased.

"Buffy, you must proceed with the utmost of caution. If they were to be alerted to our
arrival . . ."

"I know Giles, relax. Why do you think I wanted to come here during the day?" He didn't
look very convinced. "I know this place, I've been here before. There's an opening just
up the hill and if we play our cards right then we'll be able to give our friends a new
skylight." She smiled.

"Very well, how do you propose to do that? I certainly don't see any bulldozers or pile
drivers around?"

"Will is gonna work a little of her dark mojo. Aren't ya Will?" She gave the redhead a
little smile.

"Me? I don't know if I can . . . I mean.." She glanced over to Giles and Xander. 
"Blindness, demon magnet, remember?" She gave a little apologetic frown.

"I know you can do it, Will. You're the best witch I know. Besides, it's only a little
dirt removal . . . no big, right? You told me yourself you moved the soda machine when
the Gentlemen and their little loonies were chasing you." 

"If Willow is unsure of herself, Buffy, then I don't think?"

"No, it's alright, Giles. I can at least try, right?" She smiled. A little too broadly
perhaps. She was trying to reassure herself as well as the others as to her skill. Buffy
never asked her to do anything that would put her in danger or that she thought she
couldn't do. 

"Great! So here's the plan. Will and I will climb the hill. Xander, you and Giles will
wait by the entrance. When Willow starts, I'll signal you to get ready and coral any of
them that try to escape. Any questions?"

"I'm pretty sure the sun will take care of that?"Xander commented under his breath.

"You're right, Xand?but?" Buffy hesitated.

"But what? Is there something you'd like to share with the class?" Willow spoke up.

"There may be one or two demons mixed in with the crowd, that's all. Nothing we can't
handle." She smiled.

"Buffy, I'm sure this information would have been helpful before we came all the way out
here. I'm afraid we'll be unprepared." Giles had taken his glasses off and was cleaning
them with a handkerchief he produced from his pocket.

"It'll be alright, Giles. Would you trust me, please? There's nothing icky and slimy in
there that I can't handle. Let's go before we lose anymore light." Without another word,
she took Willow's hand and they began to climb the hill.

It wasn't Buffy that Giles was concerned about. It was the whole situation. Something
about this entire trek didn't sit well with the ex-Watcher, and he just couldn't put his
finger on it. A den of helpless vampires was one thing. If you add a few demons to the
mix it shifted the danger level significantly and not in their favor. <I just don't like
this one bit.>

----------

Once they reached the top of the hill, Buffy scoped it out to find the perfect spot where
she could see both Willow and Giles and Xander on the ground. She gave a little wave to
them so they'd know she was getting ready.

"Are you sure about this Buffy?" Willow's voice revealed some trepidation.

"Sure as sunshine, Will. Angel took me here a few times, in the cave I mean. He pointed
out the weaknesses in the ceiling. It's only about two feet thick. I can start it for
you, but it's up to you to make it wider." 

Willow inspected the patch dirt Buffy was referring to. At this angle, the sun was at her
back and the place where Buffy wanted the dirt removed was actually carved in the side of
the mountain, not the top. If done correctly, the sun would make a direct path through
the hole and the entire cave would be illuminated. She breathed a little sigh of
relief.

---------

Giles was still racking his brain about the cave. There was something very unsettling
about it. Xander paced around the entrance; poking at this and that with the big stick he
was carrying.

"Funny thing, Giles. How could Buffy miss twenty or thirty vamps rising? I mean, well,
no disrespect for our favorite slayer or anything, but . . ." Xander stood there at the
mouth of the cave scratching his head.

Giles looked up at him and blinked his eyes. Then something dawned on him. "Xander,
what's that at your feet?" He moved closer for inspection.

Xander poked at it with his stick. "Looks like . . . a . . . Giles, what the heck is
that?"

------

"Come on, Will?.I know you can do it! Concentrate!" Buffy dubbed herself the cheering
section after she cleared as much rubble and branches from where the opening would be. 
Willow had managed to move through about a foot and a half of dirt and only had a little
more to go. 

"I'm trying, Buffy. This is so draining . . . you have no idea." She was standing about
a foot away, her arms pressed to her sides and her fists curled up into little balls. 
"I'll have to nap after this . . . for about a week!" She rolled her eyes then began to
concentrate again.

--------

"I knew it! I knew this looked familiar. Had we approached it from the north, it would
have taken us on five minutes from the highway." Giles was pacing around now, very upset.

"Five minutes! You mean we hiked out here like Grizzly Adams for nothing?" Xander was
pacing now. "I can't believe it . . . way to go Buff! Never ask a woman for directions."

"Xander, you don't seem to understand. This is not just a den of vampires . . . it's a
fire-demon's lair! Wesley and I came out here last summer to assess the situation and
decided that it was better to leave it alone. The vampires are under protection by the
fire-demon. They don't rise?he sends some out and they come of their own free will to be
turned and serve him."

Xander's brain kicked into high gear. "Oh my God. Buffy and Willow are up there!" He
took off up the hill with Giles not far behind.

------

All the dirt had been cleared away and they were met with a blockade of wood. "Sneaky
little suckers, aren't they?" Buffy moved over to where the hole was. "Well, you know
what they say, Will. If you can't find a door?..make one!" With one well-placed kick,
she sent the wood flying into the cave.

"Buffy no?it's a trap!" Xander yelled out just as she kicked through.

He was too late. A thunderous roll could be heard from beneath their feet?it's source in
the cave. A red demon, almost seven feet tall, came breaking through the hole?.making it
even wider?..behind it, they could see about ten vamps bursting into dust. The demon
wasted no time and went after Buffy straight away. She swung at him with the tree branch
Xander flung over to her, but it cracked in two on contact, and the beast roared with even
more fury.

Trading punches, Buffy and the demon found themselves near the edge of a cliff. Just
below, she could see the lake they rounded on their way to the cave and had an idea. She
stood at the edge, taunting the demon. "Hey! Fire face . . . need a breath mint? What's
wrong, your mother never taught you to brush between meals . . . leads to bad hygiene ya
know."

He charged her. Waiting until the last minute, she jumped to the left and sent the demon
flying off the edge. Willow ran over to where she was. 

"Buffy, are you ok?" Willow touched her shoulder.

"Fine, will. I'm gonna be getting this brimstone smell out of my jeans for weeks!" She
smiled and got up with the aid of Willow's outstretched hand.

As Giles and Xander were making their way over to the girls, the demon reached up from the
side of the cliff and let out a tremendous roar and swiped in the direction of the girls. 
Thinking quickly, Willow grabbed Buffy by the shoulders and pulled her to the ground,
covering her with her own body. Giles grabbed a nearby branch and swung at the demon's
head full force, sending it careening backwards.

Xander ran over to Willow and Buffy, "Will!" He turned her over and gasped. She had a
large singe mark across the left side of her face and it was beginning to ooze.

"Oh dear. It looks like second degree burns." Giles was kneeling down beside her now. 
He pulled out his cell phone and called for help. Buffy was still knocked out.

-------------

"Guys, I'm fine . . . really. I need to get out of here. I hate hospitals." Buffy was
sitting on a bed in the emergency room, her arm was bandaged and she had a band-aide
across her forehead.

"They'll discharge you soon, Buffy. They just need to finish the paperwork and we can
take you home." Giles looked at her a moment. "I spoke with your mother and since she is
unable to leave the gallery opening in Chicago, you'll be staying with me until you're
healed." She opened her mouth to say something, but he stopped her. "No. This isn't
debatable. Understand?" He peered down at her from the top of his glasses and she sighed
in resignation.

Xander strolled in. "Hey, Buffy. How's the arm?" He managed his best Xander smile but
she could tell something was wrong.

"Fine, Xand . . . you OK? . . . Why hasn't Willow come in here yet? Did she fall asleep
in the waiting room or something? She had to start early on that nap she was looking
forward to, huh?" She smiled at him and waited for his response.

Both men looked at her, then each other. A nurse walked in.

"Mr. Giles, if you'll just sign these release forms, you can take your niece home now."

Giles smiled at the woman and began to sign.

"Also, we'll have to keep your other niece overnight for observation. She's not in that
bad of shape, but?"

"Over night? Giles, where's Willow? What happened?" Buffy jumped down off of the table
and strode over to him. "What's going on?"

He finished looking over the papers, handed the clipboard to the nurse and looked up at
her.

"You haven't told her yet?" The nurse questioned him.

"Thank you. I'll handle this from here . . . I think you've done quite enough." He gave
her a stern look and she made a hasty exit.

"Giles?" Buffy's voice was barely a whisper.

He cleared his throat. "I'm afraid Willow didn't fair as well as you, Buffy. She'll be
fine, but her recovery will be a long one."

"Where is she?" Buffy demanded.

"Buffy, I don't think it's such a good idea for you to see her right now . . ." Xander
offered.

"Now Xander. Now." The determination in her voice caught him a little off guard.

"Room 412. Fourth floor" Giles barely got the words out. He turned to see a blur of
blonde hair rushing down the hallway. "Buffy, wait. You're not prepared . . ." Too
late.

---------

She approached the open door. Slowly, she walked in and saw Willow laying on the bed, an
I.V. running from her arm to the bag on the wall and a soft hum coming from the other
machine beside her. <She doesn't look that bad.> A nurse pushed by her and went over to
check Willow's vital signs.

"Will she be OK?" Buffy couldn't even recognize her own voice.

The nurse looked up. "She'll be fine. She can go home tomorrow. We have her heavily
sedated right now. I just need to check her pulse and change the bandages, then you can
have some time alone. Visiting hours are over at eight." The nurse smiled at her.

"Bandages?" Buffy walked over closer to her friend. As she approached the foot of the
bed, Willow's whole face came into view and a tremor coursed through Buffy's body. The
nurse had peeled away the bandages to reveal the left side of Willow's face. It was
covered in ointment and bleeding slightly from a few open gashes. The nurse cleaned off
what she could and applied more ointment. 

"Pay attention to how I do this. When she gets home tomorrow, someone will have to change
these for her twice a day."

All Buffy could do was nod, and stare. And stare some more. It was like a nightmare. 
Xander came up behind her softly and put his hand on her shoulder. "We wanted to prepare
you . . . but you ran off."

Again Buffy nodded. She suddenly felt like a ton of rocks had been placed on her
shoulders and leaned back on Xander for support. "Oh, Will . . . what have I done?"

He took her by the shoulders and turned her around. "Listen to me . . . and listen
carefully 'cause I'm only going to say this once. It's not your fault. She knew exactly
what she was doing when she grabbed you. It's not your fault." He pulled her into a
hug. She didn't respond. All she did was stand there, allowing him to rub her back.

<But it is my fault. I never should have made her do it. She wasn't sure in the first
place. How could I have been so dumb? She didn't refuse me either . . . she never
does.> She stepped away from Xander and watched the nurse finish up.

---------

The next morning, Giles and Xander picked Willow up at the entrance of the hospital. 
Buffy had somehow managed to spend the night and was sitting on the opposite side of the
bench from Willow. Both girls got up and got into the car. Willow didn't say anything. 
Giles gave Buffy a questioning look, and all Buffy could do was shrug her shoulders and
get into the back seat.

After arriving at Giles' house, Willow went to the spare room, climbed in bed, and
immediately tried to fall asleep. Giles was in the kitchen making tea and Buffy and
Xander were on the couch. The silence was deafening,

"So she didn't say anything to you?" Giles queried. "Nothing at all?"

"No Giles, nothing. It's not like her to just . . . close up, you know?" Buffy furrowed
her brow.

"She'll come around. Maybe she's still in shock. Give her a few days and she'll be back
to the old Willow we all know and love." Xander tried to sound confident. 

"How did this happen, Giles? I mean, one minute she was helping me up, and the next . .
."

"The demon must not have fallen too far. He came up along side of you both and, well,
roared. I couldn't get there quick enough. Willow grabbed you just as fire came from his
mouth. I hit him with the tree branch and he fell into the lake, but I'm afraid I was a
bit too late." Giles was leaning against the closet door, tea cup in hand.

"No, it's my fault Giles, I never should have asked her to do it . . ."

"All right, that's enough out of both of you. It's nobody's fault. Willow did what came
natural to her, she protected a friend. No one can be blamed and I for one don't want to
hear it again . . . understand?" Xander gave them both a look. "Geez, ex-watcher guy and
rogue slayer . . . having a self pity contest. Willow would smack you both if she heard
you now." He shook his head. They were both surprised at the maturity and truth of his
statement.

"Nah, I'd just give you both a really, really stern look." Willow had emerged from the
bedroom. Buffy was on her feet and at her side in no time.

"Will, are you OK? Do you want something to drink? Are you hungry? Do you want to sit
down?" The barrage of questions made Willow blink once or twice.

"No, I'm fine, really. I couldn't sleep. I usually sleep on my left side, but . . ." 
She shrugged. "I thought I'd get up and join the land of the living." She padded her way
over to the couch and sat down on the end next to Xander.

"Don't worry, Wills. You'll be back to normal in no time. As a matter of fact, you look
great now . . . not that you looked bad before, 'cause you didn't . . . I mean, you look
good, well, except for the bandage . . .but it's no big, right? You're OK and, well . . .
OK, shutting up now." Xander gave her a sheepish smile.

"I know what you mean, Xand. Thanks." For reassurance, she snuggled down next to him and
moved his arm to her shoulder for a more comfortable position. He smiled down at her and
all was well. At that side of the room anyway.

At the other side, no one but Giles could see the play of emotions on Buffy's face. First
from anxiousness to slight confusion, then to outright anger and . . . was that jealousy? 
She stood there, arms folded across her chest, glaring at Xander as if he'd just eaten the
last chocolate chip cookie, but worse. Giles cleared his throat and looked at her.

Breaking her stare, she looked over at him. "OK, well. It's getting dark, I should go on
patrol." She gave Giles her best fake smile. "Looks like I'm not needed here anyway." 
With that she grabbed her backpack full of supplies and was out the door before he could
respond.

Things continued in that manner for most of the week. Buffy would go to class and come
back to Giles' house for dinner, then leave for patrol sometimes until one or two in the
morning. Xander was given the task of going to Willow's classes, photocopying the notes
from someone and bringing her the assignments. At night, Xander when back to his
basement, Willow to the spare room and Buffy slept on the couch. She was the last to go
to bed and the first to rise in the morning. Each night after patrol, she'd got Willow's
room in the hope that she'd be awake. She never was. Buffy wasn't sure why she did it,
but every night she'd sit in the chair by the nightstand and watch her sleep for an hour,
sometimes more. Everything and nothing at all ran through her mind. <What if we'd lost
her? Why wasn't I more careful? How can I make it up to her? Why won't she talk to me?>

They spoke, but not really. Polite niceties exchanged in conversations that had to
occur. Pass the salt, where's the remote . . . that sort of thing. Something was missing
from both of them, and the man in tweed was determined to find out what it was.

Buffy had left for patrol two hours previous and Giles found Willow at the desk in the
spare room doing homework on her laptop. He stood in the doorway, not wanting to
interrupt what she was in the middle of. After a few minutes, she looked up.

"Hi Giles." She smiled. "How long have you been standing there?" She tilted her head to
the side in her Willowy way.

"Not long. I wanted to discuss something with you, but you looked quite determined in
your task. Shall I come back later?"

"No, it fine. I was just e-mailing my homework to the professors. It's not due until
Monday and I wanted to get it over with so I wouldn't have to think about it this weekend
. . .What's up? Research?" She clapped and rubbed her hands together in anticipation.

"Actually, something quite different. Please, bare with me."

"Sure"

Giles crossed the room and sat on the end of the bed. "When I was a boy in England, I was
quite the wild chap. I had this one friend, a neighbor, we grew up together and we'd get
into the most unbelievable trouble. Our mothers were at their wits end with us getting
into this scrape or that. We'd never blame each other, though. We took it together on
the chin. One summer, I suppose I was about thirteen . . . we were climbing a tree right
outside my grandparents farm. It was quite an old tree, branches scattered all along the
trunk straight up to the top. Jack and I began to climb and somewhere near the middle, I
lost my footing and called out for him. He couldn't reach me in time and I fell right to
the bottom. I didn't break anything, but I did get a large gash across my stomach and was
laid up for two weeks . . . I'd gotten an infection and a fever and was quite delirious .
. . After I recovered, Jack and I were never the same."

"You weren't friends anymore?" Willow was listening intently.

"No, yet we weren't enemies either. We weren't anything really. It was never mentioned
again and we lost track of each other over time. I went to visit my family last winter,
and Jacks name came up in conversation. My aunt told me afterwards that Jack was beside
himself when I caught fever and wouldn't leave my side. He blamed himself for me falling
and getting injured. She also told me that Jack would come to my bedside every night and
sit there for an hour, just watching me sleep and putting a fresh washcloth on my head. 
You see, in a way I blamed Jack for what happened and as it turns out, he blamed himself. 
I never knew he was there, but he was. I also came to find out later, that he'd keep tabs
on me in my college days and report back to my family that I was safe." He paused maybe
remembering a bit of Ripper, Willow couldn't tell. "I was safe, because even then, he was
looking after me . . . so consumed with guilt that he dubbed himself my personal
guardian."

"Did you go and find him, Giles? I mean, after your Aunt told you about everything?"

"No Willow, I didn't have to. He found me . . . or rather, approached me when I'd just
gotten through with my training in England. I was horrible to him really. I didn't want
to have anything to do with him . . . and I cannot give you one good reason why. You see,
when I visited my family last winter, my aunt told me that he'd lost his battle with lung
cancer that summer." He removed his glasses and wiped not them, but his eyes with the
handkerchief. "I never got the chance to thank him. Not for anything other than being my
friend. Had I known . . ."

"I don't understand, Giles. I mean . . . I feel honored that you shared this with me, but
you don't tell stories unless there's a point." Willow looked at him with confusion.

Giles returned his glasses to their perch and cleared his throat. "My point is, that . .
. Buffy has been blaming herself for your condition and even though you may not want to
admit it, you have too. It would be better perhaps if you two exchanged barbs or insults,
but you do nothing at all. You can't even look at each other."

"Buffy and I are fine, Giles. We just have our own stuff going on right now. I'm sure
she's been busy with classes and homework. I'm sure she's fine in the dorm room . . ."

"You don't seem to understand, Willow. She's not staying in the dormitory, she's staying
here. She comes from school, does her homework, and goes out on patrol until all hours of
the night. Then she comes in and goes to your room. She's in there sometimes for an hour
or more. Then she falls asleep on the couch and gets up before either of us and starts
her day all over again."

"I thought she was staying in the dorm. Why wouldn't she tell me?"

"Willow, you know that I hardly ever get involved in your lives without good reason. Do
you really think you've been approachable to her this past week? If you both say two
sentences to each other a day, it would be saying a lot." He sighed. "You cannot go on
like this. She's the slayer, and for her safety and yours, this needs to be resolved. I
cannot have her going off every night distracted, and I can't have you sit in here
sulking. I won't stand for it. Now, Buffy called me the patriarchal figure this past
Thanksgiving and I'm taking the liberty of using it. Do something, for both of your
sakes. Forgive her, and yourself. Neither one of you is the same without the other and
there's no denying that." With those words hanging in the air, Giles simply walked out of
the room and left Willow with all that he'd said.

He came in about an hour later and told her that he'd have to go out of town for the
night. A shipment of books was coming in at a marina four hours away and it would be
easier to spend the night. Willow sighed and resigned herself to the fact that if it was
ever a good time to talk to Buffy, tonight would be it.

------------

Feeling like she'd just battled the world, and lost, Buffy let herself into Giles' after
patrol. She'd found six newly risen vamps and they gave her a run for her money that
night. The cut on her arm had opened up again and was bleeding through her denim jacket. 
She laid the keys on the dinning room table and dropped her bag next to the door. 
Quietly, she went to the kitchen and grabbed a coke. Popping it open, she turned around
to find a pair of green eyes observing her from the couch.

"Will? It's late. What are you doing up?" She leaned over the counter.

"I was waiting for you. I . . .Buffy, I think we need to talk."

"Well, can it wait till tomorrow 'cause I'm bushed and I still have to take a shower." 
She didn't seem too interested.

Willow sighed. <This is going to be harder than I thought.> She got up and approached
Buffy, noticing the cut on her arm. "Buffy . . . you're hurt. Let me take care of that
for you." She reached out to touch her arm, but Buffy pulled back.

"It's fine, really. It'll wash off in the shower." She avoided Willow's gaze.

Willow stood there a few feet away, finally coming to the realization that Giles had been
right all along. There was something definitely wrong between them. She'd thought about
it all night and couldn't, didn't want to, find an reason for his concern. There was a
wedge between them . . . a very big one. To test her theory, she reached up again to put
her hand on Buffy's shoulder and she shrugged it away. She turned and walked away to
throw the soda can out, maybe wanting it to look like that's what she'd meant to do.

"Buffy . . ." Willow said to the back of her head.

"Not now Will. OK?" She sounded tired, but it was more than that. She sounded defeated.

She walked towards Buffy, who now had her hands splayed out on the counter in front of
her, and made as much noise as possible. Buffy didn't move. Slowly she reached her hand
up and put it on the slayer's shoulder which immediately stiffened under her touch. Buffy
let out the breath she wasn't aware of holding.

"Will . . .please . . ." She said, barely audible.

"We can't have this between us, Buffy . . . we can't. I'm a big, horrible, mean evil jerk
who deserves to be shot. I'm sorry I've treated you the way I have this past week. It
was uncalled for." She paused and rested her forehead on Buffy's shoulder. "I'd like to
think I'm a better person than that. You don't deserve the way I've treated you . . . It
wasn't your fault."

"That's not true, Will." Buffy paused, considering her words. "You don't deserve to be
shot."

They both let out a little chuckle. Relieved that they might just get somewhere. Willow
was getting hopeful. "Why don't you hop in the shower and then come into my room? We can
talk. It's not that late."

Buffy didn't respond. They stood there like that for maybe two or three minutes, neither
one wanting to move. Finally, Buffy broke the silence. "OK. I'll take a shower then
I'll be in. Deal?"

Willow smiled. "Deal."

-----------

Buffy toweled off and threw on a nightshirt and a pair of underwear. She crept into
Willows room, hoping not to disturb her if she was sleeping. She was laying down on the
bed facing the window. Buffy decided it was better that she was sleeping and sat down in
the chair where she'd kept her vigil every night for the past week.

Willow noticed her creep into the room but didn't say anything. She wanted to know if
Giles was right. Silently, she heard Buffy settle down into the chair by the nightstand. 
About five minutes went by and then she spoke up. "Why do you do that?"

Buffy was startled by the words. She was sure she was asleep. "Huh? What?"

Willow shifted in the bed to face her. "Giles told me. He said you patrol and come in at
one or two in the morning, then stay in here for an hour or more watching me sleep." It
wasn't accusatory. Just a statement.

"Oh." <Caught Summers, caught!> "I guess . . . I don't know really . . . I guess I just
want to make sure you're OK."

"I remember once in the beginning of the year. You came in from patrol really late and I
was half asleep. You came over to my bed and covered me up. Then you sat down on your
bed and watched me. You couldn't see my face, but I could see you." She paused,
considering the repercussions of her words. "You stayed there so long that I fell asleep
before you even laid down. I never thought about it before."

Buffy watched her as she talked. She wasn't sure how to explain it, how to put words to
all the feelings she was having. "You amaze me, Will. You put yourself on the line for
me time and time again. And I can't for the life of me figure out why." Willow began to
speak but Buffy continued. "Let me finish. I've never quite had a friend like you, I
guess I felt like I never deserved it." She got up and sat down on the edge of the bed,
facing the redhead. "Anytime anything happens to you, I feel responsible. Angelus put
you in the hospital, Spike kidnapped you twice . . . None of it would have happened if you
weren't friends with me."

"Buffy, those are my choices. I chose to be friends with you, and I took all the
responsibility that comes along with it." She put her hand on Buffy's knee. "I worry
about you . . . you're the one in danger every night . . .I don't know what I'd do without
you . . . I get so scared when you walk out that door and I can't think about anything
else until you walk back through it again. You're my best friend." Willow looked up at
her. She saw some relief wash over her face, but not completely. Then she noticed that
her arm was bleeding again. "See?" She pointed to Buffy's arm. "Big danger . . . you're
bleeding again. Let me bandage it?" 

There wasn't really a choice there. Willow got up and went to the bathroom to get the
first aide kit. She came back and Buffy had propped up some pillows and laid against the
headboard of the bed. When she was through, Willow got up off the bed and headed towards
the bathroom. "I'll put these away and be right back."

After a few minutes, Buffy began to worry. She got up and make her way to the bathroom. 
Peeking in, she saw Willow standing in front of the mirror, putting ointment on her face,
trying not to cringe.

"Will, let me do it."

She turned away, stunned at the sound of her voice and cursing herself for not locking the
door. "No, Buffy?I can do it. I've been doing it for a week now, really." There was
uncertainty in her voice.

"Will, I . . . "

"No" It was stern, urgent. "I'll do it."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I can do it . . .I don't want . . . you can't see me like this." The last part
was strained.

Then reality hit Buffy like a ton of bricks. Willow was embarrassed about how she
looked. She didn't want Buffy to see her face without the bandage. 

"Will, please . . . I've fought every filthy, slimy thing the Hellmouth has had to offer. 
I'm not gonna creep out changing your bandage."

Willow was still facing the wall. She stood so still, Buffy wondered if she was still
there or if she was magically replaced by a statue.

"Will . . . please?"

She took a deep breath. <You can do this. She's your best friend. You can turn around
and face her. You can.> Slowly, with her head bowed, she turned around and faced the
general direction of Buffy. She lifted her hand and offered her the ointment.

"Come on Will, hop up on the counter next to the sink . . . that way I can reach you
better." Buffy took the ointment in one hand and Willow's wrist in the other. She slid
back on the counter, but still wasn't looking up.

Buffy reconsidered her strategy. She put the ointment next to Willow's thigh and reached
up and put her hands on her upper arms. "Will, I know this is hard. I promise, I'll be
as gentle as any slayer can be. . . I won't even be shocked, I promise."

Willow let out a great sigh. She knew she'd have to do this . . . look at Buffy like
this. She felt so self conscious and ugly, uglier than she'd felt before the burn. 
Slowly she raised her head and looked into her friends eyes.

"There, that wasn't so hard, now was it." Buffy gave her a smile of reassurance. She
positioned herself between Willow's knees. She reached down for the ointment and 
carefully, she spread it evenly over the burn. It really didn't look that bad. It
covered maybe two inches of her cheek, the worst of it was in the center. In time, it
should completely fade. Buffy looked over into her friends eyes a few times, just to make
sure she was still there. She couldn't figure out what she was thinking.

"Mini-stake for your thoughts?" Buffy finally asked.

Willow smiled a little. "Hmm? Nothing really . . . you're not grossed out?"

"No, Will. If there was any less of a gross out factor here it would be below the zero
mark . . . really." She finished putting the oversized band aide on her cheek and
smiled. "You'll be back to your breathtakingly beautiful self in no time." She wasn't
sure what made her say it, but she did. She planted a mental foot firmly in her mouth.

"Buffy, I'm not beautiful . . . and please, breathtaking?" Willow's chin firmly met her
chest again. "You're really trying to lay it on thick, aren't you?"

If there was ever a time for honesty, this was it. "You are beautiful, Will. Don't you
know that by now?"

"No I'm not. I'm not beautiful like Cordelia, or Harmony . . .well, before she got
vamped. Not even like Anya." She gave a cynical little chuckle. "And I'm nowhere near
as beautiful as . . ." Willow caught her words before they had a chance to escape. 

Suddenly, they were both hyper-aware of each other. Buffy, of the smoothness of Willow's
legs dangling from the counter, brushing against her waist lightly. Willow, of the warmth
the body in front of her was emitting to her thighs via the hands on them.

She reached up and caught Willow's chin in her hand. She lifted it slowly, allowing time
for resistance. When she found none, and green eyes met hazel, she spoke simply. "No,
you're not beautiful like Cordy or Harmony or Anya." Willow gave her a confused look. 
"And you're not even beautiful like me. You're beautiful . . . like Willow."

They looked at each other for what seemed like forever. Finally, Buffy broke the
silence. "If Giles comes in here and finds us like this, he'll think we've gone mad."

"If Giles comes in here I'll be amazed. He left earlier tonight to go pick up a new
shipment of books at a marina on the coast. He won't be back until tomorrow afternoon."

Realizing the implications of her words, Willow gulped and Buffy felt it under her hand. 
"Why don't we get some sleep? It's getting pretty late and you had a long patrol and
Giles will be back in the morning to catch us . . . I mean WAKE us, to wake us up."

Buffy came to the rescue of her babbling friend. "OK, Will, I'm beat too. Lets go." She
moved away and allowed Willow space to jump down from the counter. Willow walked out,
then Buffy, both going in opposite directions. Willow turned around to see the back of
Buffy's head retreating.

"Buffy . . . where are you going?"

"To bed. I thought you said you were tired?" Buffy turned and gave her a confused look.

"I thought . . . I mean . . .the couch? That's kind of silly, don't you think? I have a
queen size bed all to my self . . .you can . . .if you want to I mean." Willow scrunched
her mouth up out of frustration. 

"You want me to stay with you, Will?"

"Sure, we've done this hundreds of times, right? It'll be more comfortable for you anyway
and it's normal for us, I mean for two friends to . . ."

"It's COMPLETELY normal, Will." She emphasized it, hoping to quell Willow's fears.

Without another word, Buffy followed the redhead into the bedroom. Willow took the side
near the window and Buffy the side by the door. They both slid under the covers,
exhausted both mentally and physically.

"Buffy?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you really think . . . I mean, am I . . ."

In the darkness, she reached over and placed her hand on her shoulder. Shifting red hair
from the side of her face, she lingered for a moment, unsure yet so sure at the same
time. "I don't think you're beautiful Will, I know it. I have it on good authority that
it's the gospel truth."

Willow laughed a little, "And who's authority would that be?" She turned around to face
her, unaware of just how close she actually was.

"Mine." Buffy whispered. "I'm the complete authority on the beauty that is Willow. I've
studied more than enough to know it as fact."

"Buffy . . ." She lowered her eyes and became embarrassed again.

"I mean it, Will. With or without the scar, or the red hair or the emerald green eyes. 
You're beauty comes from here . . ." She placed her hand over Willow's heart. "And it
travels out and touches everything in your path."

Willow looked up. She looked into Buffy's eyes and saw the truth of the statement there. 
She really meant it, every word.

"You really mean it, don't you?" She was still so unsure.

"Yes." 

Her hand traveled up to Willow's shoulder and again swept the hair away from her face. 
She rubbed the skin right below her cheek with the pad of her thumb. Leaning in slowly,
she placed a kiss on Willow's forehead, lingering for a moment to consider her actions.

Willow relaxed under the slayer's touch. She wasn't sure what was being exchanged between
them, but she guiltily didn't want it to stop. She wasn't sure when the last time was
that she felt so special, so loved. As Buffy's lips pressed against her forehead she let
out a little sigh, possibly letting go of all of the fear and frustration she'd been
feeling in the past week. As Buffy pulled away, Willow reached somewhere deep inside
herself and found a voice she didn't think would ever come out. "Don't stop."

Buffy froze at the words and the far reaching implications they could have. She wasn't
sure what to do next. Many times in the past four years she'd considered this moment. 
The moment where she wouldn't ever be able to turn back, risking more than friendship . .
. risking her heart.

Not waiting for a response, Willow reached up and caught Buffy's lips in hers. They were
soft, warm and inviting. Both held back a little, reveling in the unchartered territory
that lay before them. Her hand reached out and found the small of Willow's back to draw
her closer, and Willow's hand reached out and caught the back of the slayer's neck. Buffy
deepened the kiss and they were both surprised at the newfound sensations. Finally, they
broke away.

"I never knew you could be so forward, Will." Buffy grinned a little.

"When you're sure of something, there's no reason to hesitate." She said it simply and
truthfully.

"Had I known that, I would have done this a long time ago." Buffy placed a light kiss on
her friends lips.

"It was never the right time before." Willow considered.

"Again, you're right. But it's the right time now, and I can't think of another place I'd
rather be." 

They settled down. Willow rested her head in the nook of Buffy's outstretched arm, her
had rubbing tiny circles on the slayer's stomach. 

"We're gonna have to talk about this, Will." Buffy's mood turned serious.

"I know. We'll talk about it tomorrow. . . you're not . . . you don't regret . . ."

"Shh, no . . . not one bit." Buffy pulled her closer for reassurance. "Never. I've
wanted to do that for a long time. You don't know how long. But I want to take things
slow, I don't want to loose our friendship. Ever."

"That could never happen, Buffy. You're too important to me to let go."

Silence and then sleep followed. They drifted off together, both enjoying the closeness
they'd found. Both of them felt as if they'd come home again, maybe for the first time. 
It could wait, all of it. They knew for sure the had time now.

-----------

He walked through the door around nine in the morning. Placing his overnight bag on the
couch, he noted the absence of the slayer and walked over to Willow's room to check on
her. It was quite a sight he walked into. Willow was cuddled up next to Buffy, and
Buffy's arms enveloped the redhead. They both slept peacefully. He let out the breath he
held on the short walk down the hallway and smiled. "They'll tell me when they're
ready." Silently he closed the door and walked to the kitchen to make tea. Again he
smiled to himself. <It's about time.>

FINIS