REPOST: The Rocky Road Chapter 14: Two Roads Diverged. . . (15/15)

[~~Kimber <kacoe@xxxxxxx>]

Title: The Rocky Road Chapter 14: Two Roads Diverged. . . (15/15)
Author: Kimber (kacoe@xxxxxxx)
Disclaimer: All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy.

Summary: Fourth in the Road Series
Spoilers: Everything is fair game.
Distribution: Pat Kelly, Rodrigo, Gary Thompson, Syrenslure and
Serendipity. Anyone else, e-mail me please.
Author's Notes: I hate complaining but I?m starving for feedback. FEED
ME!
Thoughts are enclosed in < >
Flashback are enclosed in <<<< >>>>
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?How could I stay??
?How could I breathe??
?There had to be more for me?
?Promises gone?
?Plastic and stone?
?I?m doing fine all alone?
?So your having a breakdown?
?So your losing the fight?
?So your having a breakdown?
?And I?m driving and crying?
?Unraveled and flying?
?I?m coming to your breakdown tonight?
?I cannot run and I cannot hide?
?It came with me locked inside?
?The bough will break?
?The cradle will fall?
?It only takes one call?
?So your having a breakdown?
?So your losing the fight?
?So your having a breakdown?
?And I?m driving and crying?
?Unraveled and flying?
?I?m coming to your breakdown tonight?
?Breakdown? by Melissa Etheridge


Willow had been lost in thought as they walked around town looking for
Xander. Finally she spoke up. ?Buffy, as much as I was mad at Xander
before, I think he really was trying to help. Quentin tricked him into
thinking he?d be keeping me safe.?

Buffy stopped and turned to her. ?I?ve been thinking about that too,
Will and I feel bad. We really laid into him and if we find him. . ?

?When we find him.? Willow corrected.

?When we find him, we?ll explain everything that happened to us in
England. . .and a I?m never above a little groveling.?

?Look.? Angel pointed up ahead. ?Two demons just went in. Do you
think??

?Quentin and Ethan?? Buffy nodded. ?I have no doubt.?

Willow put her hand on Buffy?s shoulder. ?Buffy, Quentin and Ethan are
dead, remember? Big explosion, sewers, oozy stuff??

?No, Will. While you were out with Angel, Giles told me that they?re
the ones that beat Xander and took Drucilla. I?m sorry I didn?t get the
chance to tell you before.?

?Oh.? Willow looked at Buffy dumbstruck.

?Will. . .as much as I?d love to fill you in on everything, we really
have to catch those guys. And Xander. . .?

?I know, I know.? She took a few moments to gain her composure. ?Okay,
lets go.?

?Angel, you and Cordy take the side entrance. Will and I can go in
through the main gate.?

-----------

?And how do you feel?? Dru was gazing over the now transformed Xander.

?Powerful. . .the power I feel it?s. . .intoxicating.? His features
shifted slightly. His skin now had a darker tone and looked worn like
leather. His muscles had taken on a more defined, rippled texture. His
hair suddenly grew out to the length of his shoulders and he grabbed a
strand of it, twisting it between two calloused fingers. He smiled.
?Not much unlike Lestat in those vampire books. Don?t you think??

Dru smiled back at him. ?The brat prince has nothing on you my pet.?
She leaned in and kissed him seductively. Soon she was tearing at his
shirt, his pants. . .straddling him, seeking to dominate the situation.
She broke the kiss suddenly and her eyes rolled back in her head. She
dug her nails into his shoulders and let out a blood curdling scream.

Xander grabbed her arms and tried to break free. It was no use, she was
much too strong. Soon he found her hands wrapped around his neck, and
he now fought for air. Just as soon as it started, it stopped, and he
felt a weight lifted off of him. He turned his head just in time to see
Dru crash against the side of the mausoleum. ?Dru!? He cried out, but
he was held down by two cold hands on his shoulders. He looked up.
?Angel?! What the hell??

?Your down and you?ll stay down if you know what?s good for you. We
know everything Xander. It?s over.?

He shook his head. ?You, you know nothing! ? He grabbed Angels duster
and switched their positions. ?You don?t know what?s going to happen. .
.you don?t know what I?ve been through dead-boy.? He punctuated the
sentence with a right cross to Angel?s face.

The began rolling around on the ground, trading punches. Xander gained
the advantage from beneath Angel but before he could do anything, Dru
grabbed Angel by the neck and lifted him off the ground.

?You?ve made me cranky daddy.? She threw him against the wall, knocking
him out.

Drucilla and Xander slowly stalked around in a small circle, sizing each
other up. ?I don?t want to hurt you Dru.? Xander said through clenched
teeth.

?Oh, the boy grows bold. Come here boy, you?ve been naughty and mommy
must take you over her knee.? She began to weave intricate patterns in
the air.

Xander shook off the trance sensation he was beginning to feel from
watching her. ?Not gonna work Dru.? He lunged for her and they fell to
the ground.

Drucilla gained the advantage and pinned him to the ground. ?Game
over.? She smiled down on him and slipped into game face. ?Mommy wins,
boy looses.? She clamped down on his neck.

He reached up for her head and twisted it to the right. She let out a
scream and fell over next to him. Xander grabbed a stake from inside
his jacket and drove it through her heart with such force that after the
dust cleared, it remained lodged in the grass. He rose to his feet and
dusted himself off. ?Thank you Mr. Pointy.? He looked down and noticed
something laying on the ground next to the stake. He reached over,
picked it up, and chuckled silently to himself. ?Looks like it?s off to
the orphanage with you.? He took the doll between both of his hands and
ripped her in half. ?I never liked that damn doll to begin with.? He
flung the pieces off into the distance.

The skies went pitch black and not a star could be seen. A thick fog
settled suddenly over the cemetery and a bright light broke through the
door of the Alpert mausoleum. As the fog cleared, Xander saw the
silhouette of a man. His eyes glowed with a bright blue light. Xander
rose to his feet and knew. . .the Shadowman had finally arrived.

?Xander, no!? Giles called out from behind him.

Xander turned around to face the Watcher who had Faith and Anya at his
side. Angel had just come around and was making his way to Cordelia?s
side. He offered them a sad smile. ?Yes, Giles. It?s the only way.?

---------------

A right hook sent Buffy crashing against a tree. She shook it off and
went at the demon again. ?Bastard!? A round house kick landed firmly
against the side of the demons face and Buffy heard the crack of it?s
jaw. He stumbled to the ground and the slayer pounced on him
immediately, taking his head between her hands and wrenching it to the
left. ?Now this time, stay dead.?

She looked up in time to see Willow fall, and the other demon grabbing
her ankle to draw her closer to him. She sprinted over and jumped on
his back giving Willow enough time to scramble to her feet and begin a
chant.

The demon reeled backwards and slammed the slayer into a nearby tree.
The impact would have broken any mere mortal?s spine, but this was the
slayer, the immortal slayer and her soul mate was in trouble. The
impact was more of an annoyance than anything.

Willow raised her hands to the sky and thunder crashed around them. A
lightening bolt struck the tree, sending both Slayer and demon flying in
opposite directions. Willow ran over to Buffy.

?Buffy!? Willow reached down to her.

?Did I ever mention how glad I am that your on our side?? She smiled at
the concern on the other girls face. ?I?m okay. . .a little winded but,
good to go.? Buffy sat up and looked around. ?Something?s not right
Will. . .that was way too easy.?

Willow looked off into the distance. She could see a light about 100
feet away and it was growing larger. ?Oh my God, Xander!?

------------

The Shadowman stepped in next to Xander and put his hand on his
shoulder. Xander looked up at him and nodded then turned to his
friends. Buffy and Willow had just arrived.

?Xander don?t do this! You don?t understand!? Willow cried out to
him. She tried to go to him but was held back by Giles.

?No, Will. You don?t understand.? His voice was calm and soothing.
?All my life it?s been the same. I had nothing to grab onto, nothing to
call my own. You?re a witch and a hacker, Buffy is the Slayer, Giles is
her Watcher. Even Angel served his purpose ? vampire or not. Cordy has
a purpose now too and has for a long time. Even Anya has a colorful
resume with being an ex-vengeance demon.? He smiled at her. ?What do I
have? What have I ever had? Nothing. I was donut guy or message boy.
. .I never had any real purpose to our little group ? I didn?t bring
anything to it. I don?t have superpowers, I?m not much of a studier,
and magic, well, we all remember what happened when I tried that little
venture. We spent the entire afternoon looking for Buffy rat.? Again
he smiled. ?So when Quentin approached me and told me that I could
help, possibly even save your lives. . .well, how could I refuse??

?Xander, you don?t have to do this. You?re not pre-ordained.? Giles
tried to reason with him. ?The Shadowman isn?t here for you
specifically, he?s. . .?

Xander stopped him with a wave of his hand. ?Don?t you think I figured
that out by now? If you?ve taught me anything Giles, it?s to read
carefully between the lines when researching. Quentin and Ethan put
some sort of a spell on Dru so she would go mad and try to kill me.
That way, the office would remain vacant and the gate would open. I
figured as much, so I sped up the transformation so I could fight her
off. Even if I wasn?t meant to take his place,? Xander gestured to the
still silent man beside him. ?from what I must look like now, I don?t
have a choice.? He took an old looking small book from the pocket of
his duster and tossed it to Giles. ?That is volume seven of the Garzian
text. If I don?t take the office, I die. My body will reject the
immortal blood I?ve taken from Dru and I will waste away and die.?

?No.? Willow protested. ?There has to be some other way, we missed
something, or skipped a chapter or. . .no Xander you can?t. . .?

?The boy speaks the truth.? Shadowman finally spoke. His voice had an
eerie resonance to it. ?He will die and the one who was destined for
this office will have to take it. It is of no consequence that you are
no longer the immortal watcher, young one.? He looked at Willow. ?The
Powers That Be have seen fit to bestow upon you the gift of immortality
as well as your equal.? He gestured to Buffy. ?The two lesser beings
meant to corrupt you and take away your innocence, that way when you
ascended, things would be as they had wished. With the boys
intervention, the great balance will remain the same and the gates will
be well guarded I?m sure.? He laid his hand on Xander?s shoulder. ?The
office taker must be willing and pure in his intentions. Even if I did
pass over the boy, you would not be willing, so the next candidate would
be the vessel.?

?Drucilla? Pure is hardly a word I?d use on that nut.? Faith replied.

?Pure evil, Slayer, I never said it had to be pure good.? The man
smiled.

Xander nodded his head. ?You really don?t think I?d let a wacky vampire
be the one thing standing between you guys and a bunch of demons, do
you?? Xander watched as the Shadowman walked away casually towards the
entrance of the mausoleum. He nodded slowly and turned back to his
friends.

?Xander.? Buffy choked out. ?What are we gonna do without you?? She
put her arms around Willow who had been crying for sometime already.

He smiled. ?You?ll be okay, Buff. You and Wills have each other,
everything is the way it?s supposed to be. . .the way it should have
been from the beginning.? Shadowman cleared his throat and Xander
visibly shuddered. He began to slowly back away. ?You know. . .I knew
it was coming, but I never imagined it would be this hard. I never
imagined. . .? He reached the doorway and disappeared into the light.

The fog lifted as soon as the light winked out. The sky cleared and the
stars shone brightly in the dark blue sky.

Willow fell to her knees and sobbed. Buffy was right at her side with
her arms wrapped around her love, her soul-mate, holding her tightly and
rocking her, telling her that everything would be alright. Buffy
realized after a few moments that she was saying it for herself as much
as for Willow.

Anya stood stock still. She hadn?t said a word during the entire
exchange, yet something changed in her eyes ? something was lost
suddenly. Giles approached her and placed a hand on her shoulder. It
was only then that she slumped her shoulders and relented ? turning her
body around to clench at the tweed jacket inches away and weep silently.
His heart broke for her. None of them had ever seen her show such a
range of emotions.

Cordelia leaned back into Angels arms and sighed. He wrapped his arms
around her waist and whispered. ?I know, Cordy. I know.?

Faith stood in contemplative silence. Just as she was about to say
something, Spike came running across the grass and stopped short at the
sight of them.

He looked around eagerly. ?What? What the bloody hell did I miss this
time??

Buffy shook her head at Spike and leaned down to Willow. ?Come on.
Let?s go home.? Willow nodded in agreement and they all filed out of
the cemetery.

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***The following night***

Angel opened the door to Giles? apartment and nodded to the Watcher.

?How are they?? He removed his glasses and marked the page of the book
he had been reading.

?Much of the same. Cordy bought some groceries and is there with them
now. Faith stayed behind too.? He shrugged.

?Good, good. They need to take some time to grieve. Xander didn?t die,
but he is still lost to them. They know they may very well never see
him again.?

?Yes they do.? Angel looked around the apartment. All was quiet.
?Anya and Spike??

?I really don?t know. Spike took off last night after I informed him of
Drucilla?s demise. Anya was gone when I woke this morning.? Giles rose
from the couch and stretched. ?I?m afraid she?s taking this very hard.
The girls and Xander were best friends, but to loose someone you are
romantically involved with. . .it?s, devistating.? Giles noticed the
stricken expression Angel was trying to hide. ?Sorry.?

?It?s okay Giles. You know.? Angel walked around the couch and stood
in front of him. ?They?re not girls anymore. They?re women. Willow is
going to be twenty-seven in a few weeks.?

------------

?How is she?? Cordelia walked up behind Buffy who was standing in the
doorway of hers and Willow?s bedroom.

?The same. She cried herself to sleep.? Buffy?s voice rattled from
exhaustion. She?d been up all night with Willow trying to comfort her.
?I feel so helpless. There isn?t anything I can do for her, nothing I
can say to make her feel better. She?s inconsolable.?

?They?ve been best friends since they were six, Buffy. He always stood
by her no matter what. . .she may be feeling like she let him down.?

Buffy turned to her, puzzled. ?There?s one of those double entrance
things in there, right??

Cordelia smiled. ?Double entendre. Willow always stood by you no
matter what happened. When she was attacked, she felt like she let you
down. . .like she disappointed you. We both know what the result was
with that. She ran, she was ashamed.? Cordelia got quiet for a moment
and whispered. ?Just love her Buffy. Let her know how much you love
her and what a good person she is. . .eventually she?ll believe it and
stop blaming herself. But for now, let her sleep.?

They walked down the hall into the livingroom where Faith was watching
TV. ?Hey, how?s Red doing??

?Not good, but at least she?s sleeping now.? Buffy flopped down on the
couch next to Faith.

?She?ll get over it, B. Red?s a strong kid. Don?t worry so much.?

?Kid? She?s going to be. . .oh my god, I almost forgot. Her birthday
is in three weeks and I promised her a party.?

?Party planning? Now that?s the kind of reseach I can get into.?
Cordelia perked up. ?So what do we need to do?? She stood and walked
toward the door. ?Just let me get my bag from the car and we can start
planning it now.?

---------------

Willow stirred under the covers Buffy had placed over her only moments
before. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked around. She was
in her room, hers and Buffy?s room, in bed alone and it was dark out.
Had she been sleeping all day? With the night she had, she wasn?t
surprised. Her eyes were still stiff from crying and she rubbed them
again to try and get the sleepies out.

She knew what she had to do. She?d thought about it ever since Giles
let her see the seventh volume of the Garzian text. She had to find
Xander, had to get answers, give answers, make him understand that he
didn?t let her down, that she didn?t stop loving him and he?d always be
her best friend. She couldn?t let him go on thinking that she was mad
at him. There were too many times in the past that she had let things
go, let things fester and their friendship had suffered for it. In
order to be at peace with herself, she had to be fester free ? and in
order for that to happen she?d have to find Xander. Which meant leaving
Buffy, again.

She packed a few essentials in the oversized backpack she brought back
from Oxford. She chose different herbs and candles at random and
grabbed a few magic books just in case. How did someone find a
Shadowman anyway? Well, she was about to find out.

When her bag was packed, she sat down to write Buffy a note. This was
hard. . .this was so hard and she didn?t know how to begin. . .she
didn?t know how to say how much. . .


I love you. I really do. You have made my life so much better than I
ever could have imagined. I swore to you that I would never want to be
away from you for any reason if I could help it, and I meant that. But
right now, I can?t help it. I have to find Xander and I have to fix
this. I can?t let it go, I have to fix it and I hope you can
understand.

For the first fifteen years of my life he was there. He protected me
and looked out for me. We looked out for each other. In a lot of ways,
we only had us. Then you came along and suddenly there was a group of
us and it was good, great, it was very groupie and we all just clicked.

You and I went to college, and although we didn?t forget about him, I
can understand how he must have felt left out. I hope you can
understand why I need to do this. I need to know that he knows I love
him and he is my best friend and always will be. I?m giving myself a
month to find him and if I can?t by then, well, I?ll have to accept that
he just doesn?t want to be found.

You are my soul mate, my lover, my best friend, my rock ? Buffy, you are
everything to me. I need you to know and I need you to understand. You
can doubt anything but never doubt the love I have for you. Ever. I
can only hope you will forgive me for leaving again and accept me back
into your arms when I return.

Yours always,

Willow

She folded the note and placed it on the pillow. Quietly she opened the
window and slipped out, using the trellace to climb down to the ground.
She gave a last look up at the Summers' home - her home - and walked
away into the night.

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