REPOST; Funeral For a Friend

[Jim_D_Means@xxxxxxxxxxx]

Geez, I just got this story online, and then I find a huge mistake;

In the original draft, I have Tara diagnosed as having a brain tumor just weeks after Xander 
marries Cordelia. Then, I have Xander and Cordy talk about how she helped with the birth 
of their baby just weeks before the diagnosis. Either we hit a time warp, or else it was a 
shotgun wedding.

I rewrote one passage to indicate some time passing between the wedding and Tara's 
hospitalization. Please ignore the earlier draft, and if you want to archive this storyARCHIVE 
THIS DRAFT!!!!!! Please! With a cherry on top!

A thousand pardons,
Kirayoshi

Disclaimer;
Joss Whedon owns 'em, I'm just visiting his planet.

Archives;
Drop me a line.

Warning;
This story revolves around a character's death. Angst aplenty, but there is a light at the end 
of the tunnel.

Feedback;
Is to me what tin-roof sundae ice cream is to Buffy and Willow. Jim_D_Means@xxxxxxxxxxx

Spoilers;
General Fourth Season, especially anything involving Willow and Tara.

Tonight's episode features music from Semisonic.

Summary;
Set five years after Season Four; a final message from a friend changes Buffy's relationship 
with Willow.

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FUNERAL FOR A FRIEND
Written by Kirayoshi

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."
--Semisonic
"Closing Time"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"I don't belong here. I shouldn't have come here."

That was all Buffy could think as she sat near the wall of Willow's living room. They and their 
other friends had gathered together for the funeral of Willow's love. Ten days ago, Tara 
O'Neil had finally lost her two-year long struggle with a brain tumor. Willow had chosen to 
hold a wake for her beloved at the condo which they shared. Willow's parents, Tara's 
parents, Buffy's mother Joyce and her second husband Rupert Giles, Xander, Cordelia, their 
daughter, they were all there. All providing support for their friend. Which is why Buffy was 
there.

She felt dirty.

She liked Tara. She really did. She was glad that Tara was a part of Willow's life. After the 
crash and burn that ended her relationship with Oz, the happiness that marked her love for 
Tara was as transcendent as the sunrise, and just as beautiful.

And all that Buffy could think was, 'why doesn't she feel that way about me?'

Buffy had her own relationship horror story at the time, a man named Riley Finn. He seemed 
like a sweet guy, but turned out to be a gun-toting, khaki wearing GI-Joke. Captain 
Testosterone! By the time she had extricated herself from that fiasco, she started to rethink 
her life. Her relationships. After all of the mistakes she had made in her eternal search for 
Mr. Right, there was only the one constant; Willow, ready to pick up the pieces, a half-gallon 
of rocky road in one hand, an ice cream scoop in the other. She always was there for her. 
Willow.

It hit her like a thunderbolt. She had been standing too close to see it, but once the first 
realization struck, the rest fell into place, like puzzle pieces. Willow. She was better for her 
than any man she had ever known. She was the one.

The one who Buffy loved.

And, by the time Buffy figured that out, it was too late. Willow had found Tara.

Buffy could have challenged the young blond witch's claim on Willow's affections. Who had 
known her longer? Who first helped break Willow out of her shell? Why should Tara be so 
damn lucky? She had a thousand arguments in favor of fighting Tara for Willow's love, fueled 
by passion and logic, guts and reason. And she was prepared to use them.

Until she saw the look in Willow's eyes when she was near Tara.

Buffy realized that she had no right to break them up. There was no denying what the 
redheaded wiccan felt for Tara. No denying that her love was returned. And Buffy knew 
that she had no right to come between them. All she would do was destroy something 
beautiful, and have Willow hate her for the rest of her life. And Buffy would die before letting 
that happen.

So she stepped back. She moved into the first single dorm available, allowing Tara to move 
in with Willow. She kept in touch with the two witches, but it wasn't quite the same. 
Watching them hold hands, steal sweet kisses, gaze into each other's eyes, Buffy felt more 
and more like a third wheel. At some point Tara sensed this, and made motions to include 
Buffy into their public activities. She even made an earnest effort to set Buffy up with 
someone nice. She found a young man named Kevin, brown hair, hazel eyes, disarming 
smile. Even though she dreaded the initial blind date, Buffy had to admit at the end that he 
was infinitely nicer than Riley. She even went out with him three more times after that, and at 
some point even initiated lovemaking.

It was a comedy of errors. He was kind, but clumsy, his efforts at seduction having all the 
grace of Pepe LePew, with much the same result. At least he wasn't as persistant. They had 
mutually made the 'still friends' agreement, which meant that they would greet each other once 
or twice as they passed on the campus, and then each forget the other's existence.

Buffy had since abandoned the dating scene altogether. She had realized, the hard way, that 
there was only one person for her, one true love, and her name was Willow. And Willow 
had found her true love in Tara. Buffy had to accept that. She thought that she had accepted 
that. That she was cool with that. But there was always that twinge of jealousy as she saw 
Willow kiss Tara, or lavish her with affection. She wanted to be Tara. She wanted to be the 
object of Willow's affection so badly, and she knew that it would never happen. So she 
distanced her self from Willow and Tara. She had buried herself in her studies, taking on an 
internship as a research assistant at the Sunnydale Museum of Ancient History. As time went 
on, she graduated from college with honors, took on a satisfying job at the museum. And 
since the Hellmouth had collapsed after Adam and his demons tried to control it, there was 
no more need for a Slayer. For the first time in years, she had her life to herself. She was, if 
not happy, then content.

Occasionally she ran into Willow and Tara; they were still happy together, and she was 
happy for them. The two witches shared a pew on the bride's side when Buffy's mother 
finally married Buffy's former watcher Rupert Giles(Buffy was the bride's maid). They sat on 
the groom's side when their long time friend Xander Harris married his high school sweetheart 
Cordelia Chase(a whirlwind courtship following his breaking off with ex-girlfriend Anya). 
They got together off and on for about a year after that. Willow and Tara were still happy, 
but Tara had grown more reserved than Buffy remembered her. More quiet.

Three weeks later, Willow called Buffy at her apartment. Panicked, she begged her to come 
and drive Tara to the hospital. Tara was weak and unconscious, and Willow was severely 
wigged out at her lover's condition. Buffy broke the land speed record driving to Willow and 
Tara's place, and broke it again rushing them to the hospital. The doctors kept Tara 
overnight for observation.

The verdict was a malignant brain tumor. The doctors had recommended chemotherapy, but 
the growth was too far advanced to remove successfully. All it did was cause Tara's lovely 
blonde hair to fall out. After six months of this, the doctors finally gave up and told Willow 
that she could only keep Tara comfortable until the end. Willow refused to give up, and she 
devoted the following year to finding an alternative cure for Tara's cancer. She consulted 
every herbalist, every holistic doctor, every snake oil salesman she could find. 

Buffy helped as much as she could, doing grocery runs for Willow, making sure that bills 
were paid, keeping Tara entertained with horror stories based on her own exploits as a 
Slayer; Tara especially liked hearing about Angelus, and how Buffy had to sacrifice her 
beloved Angel to save the world from Alcatha. Willow, upon hearing Tara saying that, rolled 
up her eyes, and said, "She loves sappy endings, she's a die-hard Danielle Steele fan." Tara 
just stuck out her tounge at Willow, and Buffy laughed at the two lovers. It did her heart 
good to hear them laugh again.

Finally, after Willow had exhausted every avenue of research available to them, Tara just told 
her to stop. She wanted Buffy there as a witness; she wanted no more extraordinary 
measures taken to keep her alive for only a few more months, or days, or whatever. Willow 
was not hurting for money; ever since she graduated from college, she was a highly sought 
after computer code writer, and was drawing down six figures a year. But she had 
practically taken a year off of her job to look after Tara. And the cures she had attempted, 
either conventional or magical, were costing money. Tara took Willow's hands in her own 
weakened hands, and told her to simply let the tumor run its course. Whatever time they had 
together, she wanted to spend it with the one she loved.

Buffy continued to visit her friends for the last few months. She brought movies, gifts, smiles 
and stories. She was there with Willow when Tara went into her final coma. And she held 
the redhead in her arms when, after speaking with Tara's parents, Willow consented to 
pulling the plug on her life support.

Buffy still felt guilty for Willow losing Tara. She had loved her deeply, only to see her love 
another. Did she somehow curse them, jinx their relationship? Crazier things had happened 
near the Hellmouth. A small daemon whispered in her ear, "Soon you can make your move. 
Keep playing the comforting friend and she's all yours." And that thought just made her feel 
worse. She felt that she had betrayed Willow, just by loving her. And she had vowed to 
keep the secret of her love to the grave.

Willow and the other witches in their coven held a private funeral service for Tara. Only the 
coven proper were invited. They chanted and sang, commending the soul of their sister Tara 
O'Neil to the Goddess.


Willow hit upon the idea of an Irish wake for Tara. Rather than mourn her loss, she wanted 
to celebrate Tara's life. A quietly festive mood reigned within the condo, as Willow 
reminisced about her beloved. Little personality quirks, her passion for peanut butter ice 
cream, the way she had charmed Willow's parents, who were initially opposed to their 
daughter entering into a lesbian relationship. Xander and Cordelia spoke lovingly of how 
Tara had been the midwife for their two-year-old daughter, whom they named Tara Angel 
Harris, just weeks before the tumor had been diagnosed. It had been close to a breach birth, 
but Tara had managed to rotate the child within the womb. She had strength that belied her 
demure appearance, and that impressed the Harris family greatly. 

Finally, it was Buffy's turn to speak of the deceased. Buffy blanched at first, her guilt over the 
love she still harbored for Willow crashing in on her. But one look from her friend, her 
beloved, her secret love, and she knew that she could not refuse her. She stood up, taking 
her glass of root beer(six years after the Cave Slayer incident, and she still couldn't touch real 
beer), and made her statement;

"I can't say as much about Tara as the rest of you have, because, sadly, I'd been a bit out of 
the loop these last few years. And I deeply regret that. I got to know her better over the last 
few years as she fought the brain tumor that was killing her. But even at the end, she never 
lost the indominable spirit that made her special. Nor did she ever lose her innocence, even 
in the face of evils like Adam and the Initiative.

"Finally, I can say that Tara O'Neil was a special person for one real reason; she loved 
Willow Rosenberg, and was loved by her. To win Willow's love, she'd have to be pretty 
incredible. A toast, then, to the memory of Tara O'Neil," she declared, raising her glass. 
"May she be in Heaven a half-hour before the Devil knows she's dead!"

"Here, here," Giles answered, and glasses touched. The wake eventually wound down; 
Xander and Cordy were the first to go, as they had a sleeping little Tara to put to bed. Giles 
and Joyce left next, followed by Tara's parents and Willow's folks. "Do you need anything, 
honey?" Ira Rosenberg asked Willow.

"No, daddy," Willow insisted. "I'll be fine."

Ira and Sheila hugged their daughter, saying their goodbyes. As they left, Buffy started to 
head for the door, saying, "Well, Willow, I'd better get going. Look, you call me if you need 
anything?"

"Could you stay, please, Buffy?" Willow asked. "I need to show something to you."

"Please, Wills," Buffy protested. "You don't want me around."

"I do too, Buffy," Willow produced her most lethal weapon; her resolve face.

Buffy looked at that face, saying, "God, Wills, I missed seeing that." Her eyes sparkled with 
tears. Willow looked at her friend's face and asked, "You okay?"

"No," Buffy suddenly blurted out. She didn't want Willow to see her like this, but she 
couldn't help herself now. Her tears flowed freely as she continued; "I'm standing here next 
to the woman I love more than life itself, and I have to say I'm sorry that she lost her love, 
when all I want to do is take her in my arms, and kiss her, and love her, and I can't do that, 
no, I'm not okay! Look, I know I just blew our friendship out of the water, I'll just leave, you 
can forget you ever met me, you'll be happier this way--"

"BUFFY!" Willow had to shout to silence Buffy's wailing. Buffy stopped, and just looked at 
her, looking as though she had been physically struck.

Willow calmly approached her friend, saying gently, "Now that I have your attention, a few 
things. First, I'm the one with a reputation for babbling, not you. Second, there is nothing 
that you could say that would make me not want to be your friend. Third, I know how you 
really feel about me. And fourth, so did Tara."

Buffy didn't believe what she heard. She looked at Willow, waiting for the other shoe to 
drop. "Wha...how did you know that I loved you?"

"Tara knew all the time," Willow answered quietly. "She had often said how lucky she was 
to have me, considering the competition. That was you. She knew that you loved me, from 
the day she met you. The real you, not when Faith was in your body," she added quickly, 
causing Buffy to groan audibly.

"Buffy," Willow continued, placing her hand on her friend's arm, "Tara never hated you, or 
begrudged you for how you felt. She knew about you, about how I felt about you. She had 
accepted that."

"How you felt?"

"Buffy," Willow explained, "I defy anyone who ever says that you can't be in love with two 
people at the same time. You were just too involved with Riley, so I didn't approach you 
then. And Tara was there." She lowered her head. "I'm sorry for keeping this from you, but 
you and I had gone on with our lives. I just didn't want to do anything that would lead to an 
awquard situation. And I never wanted to lose you as a friend either."

"That would never happen, Willow," Buffy exclaimed immediately. "But you said that you 
had something to show me?"

Willow walked over to the TV cabinet, and pulled out a video cassette. "Just before 
Tara...before she went into her coma, she made this video. She wanted me to play it for you 
after she died." Buffy, amazed that Tara would want to say anything to her, sat down on the 
sofa, as Willow turned on television and the VCR, and put in the tape. She sat next to Buffy 
as the tape started.

The image was of Tara, sitting on the sofa, her face looking straight into the camera. Her 
face was sunken, and her head was wrapped in a colorful scarf to hide her scalp, her hair just 
barely growing back. She coughed a little and began to speak;

"Hey, Buffy. I guess if you're seeing this, that means I'm dead. I'm making this tape to make 
sure that Willow will be taken care of. And the only person I can trust to do that is you.

"I know that you love Willow, Buffy. I know also that Willow loves you. Not that she loves 
me any less for it, and I thank the Goddess for that. But I always knew that I didn't have all 
of her heart. You have always occupied a special place in Willow's heart, and you own half 
of it. I consider myself blest that she entrusted me with the other half.

"I've recently finished writing my last will and testament. No big surprise, I'm leaving 
everything to Willow. But I've made an addition; being of sound mind and weakened body, I 
hereby bequeath to Buffy Summers my half of Willow's heart. I want you to take care of her. 
She'll need you.

"She'll need time to mourn. Give her that time. But only six months, do you hear me, Wills? 
Only six months. After that, Buffy, I want you to make sure that she's happy, that she's safe. 
That she's loved. Wine and dine her, send her flowers, seduce her, take her to bed and 
make love to her. Do whatever it takes to make her yours. I want her to know that she's 
loved, and I won't be here to love her much longer. Make her happy..." The camera started 
to shake. "Willow? Willow, put that damn camera down and come here!" Tara held out her 
arms, as the camera rested on the coffee table, and Willow rushed from behind the camera to 
accept her dying lover's embrace. The last thing the camera caught before the video stopped 
was Willow sobbing in Tara's arms. 

Buffy struggled to swallow down the lump in your throat. She looked at Willow sitting next 
to her, and saw the tears flowing down her cheeks. She placed a hand on her shoulder, and 
Willow melted into her body. The two friends held each other desperately, drawing strength, 
hope and love from each other in the embrace. Willow lifted her head to Buffy, and allowed 
their lips to touch, just briefly.

When Buffy felt the pressure of Willow's lips on her own, she had to summon all of her will 
power to break away. After she pulled back, she looked at Willow, and said, "I'm sorry."

"Why?" Willow asked simply. "I'm not."

Buffy sat on the couch, still in Willow's arms. "I'd better be going now, I have to work 
tomorrow." She extricated herself from Willow's embrace, fetched her coat from the closet, 
and started for the front door. She turned toward Willow and said, "And thank you for 
showing the tape."

"Glad to," Willow answered.

"She was incredible, wasn't she?"

"Yeah," Willow agreed, a sad smile forming on her face. "You're pretty incredible yourself."

"Thanks," Buffy started for the door, and stopped. She straightened her back, and decided 
to risk her heart. She turned back once more and said, "Willow, two things. One, you need 
anything, you call me. Anything at all. Grocery run, a shoulder to cry on, anything at all. 
You hear me?"

Willow nodded.

"And two," Buffy finished, "I'll give you the six months, like Tara said. After that, I intend to 
prove myself to you. To prove my love. Tara made it clear that she wanted you to be 
happy, and I want to be the one who makes you happy. So be prepared. You have six 
months. Good night." She stepped out of the door, into the cool night, heading for home.

Willow stood in the doorway, watching Buffy's car pull away. She smiled at herself, finding 
that she was looking forward to the end of the six months.

Far, far away, Tara O'Neil paused on her way to her final destination. She looked back at 
the elfin features of her beloved, as she watched the car drive off, and smiled. She knew that 
Willow was in the best of hands.

"Be happy, Wills," she said one last time, before passing on.

FINIS



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