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FF: Full Circle - Xander's Arc


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TITLE: Full Circle - Xander's Arc

AUTHOR: Michael

RATING: PG

FEEDBACK: Follow up to Full Circle. Not a sequel per se.

ARCHIVE: I would be honored. Just let me know.

SPOILERS: References to events and people through the fourth season.

DISCLAIMER: Buffy is Joss' "concept, man. The extreme, man. It came from his brain." All BTVS characters belong to Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy & Warner Brothers. This is for non-profit, entertainment purposes only. No copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

FULL CIRCLE - XANDER'S ARC

There have been four life-altering events in my life. The first of course was the appearance of Buffy into my life. There is not a day goes by that I don't curse and give thanks for that occurence. Because of her I have witnessed and experienced things that I would just as soon have missed but if she hadn't come into mylife I wouldn't have become the person I am now ... and I wouldn't have met Anya.

Meeting Anya was the second of these life-altering events. Anya had been the vengeance demon Anyanka but when her pendant was destroyed she was left in human form and powerless. Over time we found ourselves becoming attracted to each other. At first it was mainly about the sex but eventually it became more and soon I realized that I loved her. I was instrumental in helping her learn what it was to become human and I know she was grateful although she would never admit it. That was probably what attracted me to her the most - her way ofcutting to the truth with biting commentary and yet keeping her feelings to herself - kinda like I had always been.

Number three would of course be the birth of my children. First Alexis andthen my sons Larry and Alex Jr. I thought that my life was pretty complete. A wife I loved in Anya and three great kids. What I felt when I looked at my family can't be described. I just knew that I would be a much better parent and spouse than my own parents had been (of course I would be hard pressed to be worse).

It was Anya's idea to name Alexis and Alex Jr. after me. I was a little uncomfortable with it but she does really adore me (go figure) and I have a hard time saying no to her. I chose Alexis' middle name of Anya figuring that it was only fair that she be named after both of us and not just me. Larry was a name I chose and it was in memory of a high school friend. No, I take that back. In high school we weren't friends - that part came later. Larry had been gay and through a misunderstanding I was the person he first confided in. I of course freaked. I had expected a completely different response from him. It was later when I started attending college that we had actually become friends.

In college Willow had started seeing a girl, Tara, and I had come to terms with my homophobia and learned that love doesn't know the boundaries of gender. I realized then how brave Larry hadbeen because he had become totally open about his homosexuality after he had told me. It wasn't easy for him and yet he had continued to grow as a person becoming an outspoken proponent of gay rights. He had also continued playing football which I know couldn't have been easy. As fate would have it once I started college I kept running into himand we got to know each other again. We had a special bond through that shared moment which had so profoundly affected him.

Then one Saturday during his senior year he was injured during a football game. His neck had been broken and he was going to be a quadriplegic. I visited him in the hospital and was amazed at the way he was handling all of this. I was awed by his courage. I went to console a friend and he had comforted me. Laterthat night he died - something about a blood clot - it was the first time in my adult life that I cried but would not bethe last.

As for the fourth event, it's one I'm still trying to come to terms with but let me start at the beginning so you have the full back story.

I had graduated from college the year after Larry's death with a teaching certificate and had started teaching school at Sunnydale High as a history teacher. Willow had become the new school librarian the same year. She and I were best buds again and it was almost like old times except of course Buffy wasn't here.

Willow had never been a real outgoing person but she had become even more withdrawn since college and it continued to get worse. Except for my family I don't think she had any real friends. At least none in town. She would get the occasional call from Buffy and for awhile I had my old Willow back but thenshe would slide back into her shell. Outside of the phone calls from Buffy the only other time I saw her eyes sparkle was when she was around my children. That she loved them was obvious and they adored their "Aunt" Willow. She would usually spend three or four nights a week at my house and I sometimes think that was all that kept her from having a nervous breakdown.

One day Alexis came to me and said "Daddy, why is Aunt Willow so sad?"

"What makes you think she's sad, honey?" I asked.

"Well I was looking through your photo album and there was a picture of you and her and some other girl so I asked her who it was. She said it was Buffy so I asked who's Buffy and she said thatBuffy was everything and started to cry a little."

I gathered little Alexis in my arms and hugged her. "Alexis, Buffy wasa very special girl and a very good friend and now she's been gone for a long time. I think it's time for me to invite her tocome back home." My seven year old daughter had stumbled onto the truth that my eyes had been unable to see - and what now seemed so very obvious.

It took me almost two weeks to catch up with where Buffy was and then another week to actually catch her in her motel room when I called. She was in a small town in Brazil to wipe out a nest of demons which had been terrorizing the local populace. The day I caught her she had just finished wiping the last of the demons and was resting in her room before moving on.

"Hello?"

"Buffy! It's me Xander."

"Xander!? How did you find me?"

"Well it wasn't easy but Giles was able to find out and he let me know where you were. I've got something really important to talk to you about. It's about Willow."

"Willow? What's wrong? Is she okay? Xander, tell me!"

"Calm down Buff. She's okay for now but I'm really worried about her. She just keeps drawing deeper and deeper into herself - she won't let anybody in. I honestly think that I and my family are the only friends she's got."

"How did this happen?"

"I didn't know myself until just recently. Buffy, I believe the reason she has withdrawn like this is because of you."

"Me? But I've not even been ... oh. What exactly are you saying?"

"Buffy if I'm right it's you that she needs - and not just as a friend."

"Oh Xander. Do you know what you're saying? It's been Willow that's kept me away all this time. You don't have any idea what it did to me to leave in the first place."

"You're right Buff - but I think Willow knows because she's going through it too - and it's overwhelming her. You don't know what she told my daughter. Alexis found a picture of the three of us.She asked Will who you were and Will answered `she's Everything'."

"She said I was `Everything'? What did she mean?"

"Oh come on Buffy. Haven't you figured it out yet? She needs you in her life. Ever since this happened with Alexis I've been thinking things through. I know - we both know that Will doesn't let gender dictate who she loves and she loves you - of that I'm certain. And I'll go one step further - I'm guessing that you love her too."

"XANDER! Wherever did you get that ... oh God, Xander. I do love her, I really do. I just never had the courage to tell her."

"So what are you gonna do now.?"

"I guess I'm coming home."

Buffy did indeed return home and to make a long story short she and Will are now a couple and just looking at either one of them makes you feel that all is right in the world. Three years passed from Buffy's initial homecoming before she was able to come back to Sunnydale to stay. And when she did return so did someone else - one Rupert Giles. And my world would soon be rocked.

Giles called me two days after his arrival and asked to meet with me in order to discuss a "matter of some importance". It was a typical example of his gift of understatement. We agreed to meet later that evening and as the hour of our meeting approached my feelings of trepidation increased.

Giles was already seated at the table when the hostess showed me to our table.

"Hey G-man! Long time, no see" I said, trying to start the conversationon a light note.

"Xander. So good to see you again. I trust you have been well?"

"Uh, yeah. Fine. Life's been good. Yourself?"

"I have something very important to discuss with you" he said, ignoring my query. "It concerns your daughter, Alexis."

I was completely thrown. What could Giles possibly have to tell me about my daughter? He had never even seen her until the evening of his arrival two days ago.

"What do you mean? What about my daughter? Come on, spill it."

"How much do you know about how the slayer is chosen?"

"Uh, not much really. When one slayer dies another is chosen but what does this have to do with my daughter?"

"Ordinarily there is a pool of potential slayers and when a slayer dies one of the potential ones is chosen based on age and less importantly, location. Xander, there is no easy way to say this so I'll just get to the point. Alexis is a potential slayer. What you choose to do with this information is up to you but I implore you not to ignore it, whatever you do."

I was stunned. Not in my wildest dreams could I have imagined this bit of news. I mumbled something about needing to leave and got out of there. The walls had seemed like they were closing inon me as I made my way towards the door. My mind was still numb as I walked the city streets. Why was this happening to me, or more exactly, my daughter? Should I tell her? What were my responsibilities toward her? And then I thought about Buffy. As I considered the kind of person Buffy was my mind calmed a little. I knew the life of a slayer was a hard life but I also knew that if my daughter grew up to be the type of person Buffy was I would be proud. I just hoped she would get the chance to grow up.

I needed more information. Now that I had gotten my mind around the idea of my daughter as a potential slayer I had more questions so I called Giles.

"Hello?"

"Giles. It's me, Xander. Sorry I bailed on you tonight but I had to get away and think about things."

"I understand completely Xander. I wish that I could have prepared you a little more but it was imperative that you be informed as quickly as possible. We are facing an acute shortage of potential slayers and no one knows why. There have been several who have just disappeared and many others who have met untimely and apparently accidental ends. It is entirely possible that this is just coincidence but I believe some darker force is at work. I just don't know how they are doing it. This is one of the most closely guarded secrets the watcher council has and I just can't believe that the few who have this information have been compromised."

"Whoa!! Rupert, you're approaching information overload again and I haven't even had a chance to ask any of my questions yet."

"You are right of course. My apologies Xander. But understand, great care must be taken in order to protect Alexis. The one thing that the missing and dead potentials had in common was a knowledge of their potential. To this end the council is no longer informing any of the potentials of their status. I am breaking with that because of your rather unique situation."

"You mean my relationship with Buffy. Okay, where do I start? How bad have the losses been?"

"About 75% I'm afraid."

"75%? Just how many potentials does that leave?"

"50 or so. Give or take."

"Good Lord, Giles. What can I do to protect my daughter?"

"My suggestion is to encourage her in all activities which may aid her -but do NOT tell her. That much is imperative. In fact the fewer people who know, the better off we'll all be."

"Not even Anya? Well, I don't know how I could break the news to her anyway. So by activities you mean gymnastics or karate or such."

"Yes. That and other athletic endeavors such as footb..., er soccer or softball. But don't neglect the intellectual side as well."

"Dammit Giles. Why does this have to happen to her? She's so innocent.She's never hurt anyone. Why her?"

"I don't know Xander. Perhaps it is some of those very qualities that make her a potential."

It hasn't been easy for me. Three years have passed since that time andAlexis is now eleven years old. Fortunately she is very athletic. She has excelled in gymanastics. She has studied Tae Kwon Do. But no soccer. Much to Giles disappointment she chose cheerleading. And Willow has always made sure sheremained a good student - not an area where I had much expertise. She is a wonderful daughter and now that Faithis dead, I now know that she is to be the next slayer - the youngest ever chosen. At this moment, Buffy is in the librarytelling Willow. And after school today, I get to tell Alexis and Anya. Giles, Buffy and Willow will be there as well but Iget to tell her that from now on her life will never be the same. And I felt the tears rolling down my cheeks.

TBC? Maybe, If you want. Michael

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