The Spaces In Between
by Red Willow
6
[reviews]
"Buffy?"
I gently slid my hand from her wrist to her elbow, where I shook it gently, trying to wake the sleeping Slayer up.
"Buff... we need to get up."
"Gnnnn..."
I smiled, she was so cute. I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Come on Buffy, we need to go see Giles."
More groans in protest, and then she turned her head further into the pillow.
I heard Dawn moving around in her room and was thankful I wouldn't have to wake another Summers sister. They were always stubborn when it came to getting out of bed, especially on a Saturday.
"Buffy..." I tried again, drawing my voice out in what I thought might be a good imitation of stern.
It didn't last however when she curled her nose up, shook her head slightly, and said,
"Don' wanna."
How do I resist that? I resigned myself to let her sleep a few more minutes while I took my shower. Hopefully when I tried again she would be more willing to join the living. I watched her for a few minutes before escaping the tight hold of her arm, lifting myself out of the bed, weary of what protests my head might make. None came but a slight ache though, and I was grateful.
I made my way to the bathroom where I ran into Dawn, literally.
"Ooomphf!"
"Oh! Owww... sorry." Dawn said, hopping back from me on one foot.
"Oh! Dawn!" I realized I must have stomped on her foot. "A-are you okay?"
"Oh yeah, didn't need that foot anyway." She responded sarcastically. "S-see I'm okay with one foot."
She proceeded to hop past me toward her room.
"Sorry Dawnie."
She giggled, looking back at me before adding, "I-its okay, I guess we both were kind of distracted."
"Yeah..." I looked back toward my room, still trying to convince myself that yes, Buffy was sleeping in my bed, had held me the whole night, and I was feeling extremely frisky.
It would be best for all to let me have my cold shower so I could function the rest of the day.
"A-are you okay? How's your head?"
"Oh well... a dull pain, or... not even pain really... mostly bordering on annoying. It's okay though, it's fine... I'm fine."
"Good... that's good. I was worried."
"No more worrying... I'll be fine." I said with a smile.
"Oh!" Started Dawn, finally putting her foot down. "I almost forgot. Giles said not to bother going to the shop until about 1 because some stuff came up that he has to take care of... whatever that means."
"Ohh, grr." I leaned against the doorframe, wrapping myself up in my arms. "I so could have slept longer."
"Uh, sorry. Guess I should've told you earlier... Oh! Oh, but then I would've woke you and you would still be awake... so..."
"True." I agreed.
But snuggle time with Buffy would have been nice. However, snuggle time might have led to something else, and I still wasn't sure if that was something we needed to cross this soon, but God how I wanted her.
Neither of us said anything for a moment and she was about to turn to go back into her room when I kicked myself and thought to ask her about Spike.
"Hey..."
"Yeah?" She turned back towards me.
"A-are you okay?"
She was confused for a moment, then brightened. "Oh yeah, don't worry about it... see?" She took a step toward me. "Good as new."
She thought I was talking about her foot. Maybe this was a good thing. She seemed to be rather cheery.
"Oh, uh... no I-I was... I was talking about... um, a-are you okay about... ya know, last night, a-and... Spike?"
Her face fell. Score another one for the home team. Way to go.
"Oh well, yeah, sure. I-I mean he was a vampire right? A-and he hurt you... so... a-and he was trying to hurt Buffy..."
"Oh, I'm sorry Dawnie..."
"No, no really... I mean I liked Spike. He was... he was my friend... but... I mean, I guess I'm okay about it. I know she wouldn't have done it if she had another choice... right?"
"Yeah..." I said, looking down. I didn't think it was right to let Dawn believe Spike's chip didn't work. But I also realized how difficult the whole situation would be if she knew the truth. I just wasn't sure if we were going to tell everyone else the same thing.
"I guess I should shower..." I said, giving her a half smile that I meant to be reassuring, sympathetic even.
"Okay..." She said and slipped back into her room without another word.
***
It must be her tongue I feel sliding up the inside of my thigh, soft and velvety and oh, it feels so good. Her hands caress my stomach, my sides, my hips, where she tugs lightly, playfully, and I slide my body closer to her. I'm aware that I'm naked and extremely turned on. Where did my clothes go? It doesn't matter because she demands my total focus, my total love and devotion and I give it without will to think, only feel, feel her and her small soft hands, her wet mouth, her body, sliding up on top of mine.
Hey, I was enjoying that tongue! She smiles at me lovingly and whispers something I can't quite make out, but it's okay because somehow my heart understands and skips a beat. I'm lost in the deep depths of her brilliant green eyes and I can't look away, only stare and lick my lips in anticipation of anything and everything that may come.
And then, I'm aware of some sexy rhythm and blues floating around us, something familiar I know I've heard before. I wonder where it came from, but I only hear, not able to pull my eyes away from her.
Now everything I do leads me to something
and everything I want, I get with time
but see, since I've been wanting you
there's nothing I can do,
to get you off my mind tonight...
She kisses me, feather light flutters across my chest and up my neck until she finds my pulse point, which by now is a rapid, demanding thudding through my body, from my ears to my toes, and every inch wants the privilege of her touch, her love. Her teeth, those perfect white stones that accentuate her beautiful smiles, scrape my neck and I can't help the low moan that stretches itself out from my throat to my mouth and into her hair. She nuzzles my neck gently before attacking, catching the skin under my ear in her teeth and running the tip of her tongue over it before sucking it into her mouth. I think my body would jerk off the bed if not for her smooth body outstretched on top of mine. I grip her tightly, holding her close with my arms, as if I ever thought she'd leave.
If beauty's in the eye of the beholder
then you'll wanna be holding me
'cause I'll jump back and kiss myself
R e d h o t hot for you, to see
She shines in the candlelight, which I hadn't noticed before, but still I can't look away from her, I only guess by the flicker of soft yellow hues on her skin. I trail my fingers down her neck and she shivers in response, easing up on my bruising neck, opting instead to kiss my jaw line, my ear. I continue my own inspection, down her shoulder, her arm, her back and side. She giggles, giving up control for only a fraction of a second, before grabbing my hand, raising it above my head, and holding me there. I realize that I would do anything for her. I worship her, every inch of her body, mind, and soul. I'm in love and I don't want to be in control if it feels this good not to be.
Her voice is at my ear again, tickling the inside, making me smile at the closeness, the familiarity that I've never experienced except in dream and fantasy. She asks me what I want, how I want it, where I want it. And I don't say anything in response, merely think what I've been thinking since this began, I'm hers. Whatever you want I want, whatever you need, I need, don't ask me, just take me and show me. She smiles as if she's heard me and I wonder if she really hasn't.
its time you let me be your inspiration
let me move you in a way that moves you most.
'cause see since you've been wanting me
I've become your trinity
you father, son, and damn near holy ghost.
(Blues for Angel)
And then she's moving again, slinking her way down my body, kissing the entire way down. Warm lips and a wet tongue on my nipples, the undersides of my breasts, my stomach, around my bellybutton, the tops of my thighs and I'm in heaven again, washed in the light of her body and sex, drawing out sighs and moans from me with tender fingers and firm kisses. She spreads my legs, and I open freely, my wet center fully exposed for her, inviting her, allowing her total access to my body and I'm sure if she were to sink deep enough, drive hard enough, she'd touch my soul.
"Willow..."
I'm moaning and my hips are moving and she's moving above me, between me, inside me and I'm filled with this sense of near completeness as a sweet tension swells and expands from her fingers and mouth up through my stomach, warming and intoxicating until I can hardly see, hardly hear, only feel. Every ounce of my being is drenched and charged in electro-light fuses of wanton desire emanating from the force of her passionate thrusts and grunts and all I can do is hold on to the headboard above, and let her take me over the edge, control me, ride me, fuck me, love me.
But something else is happening, something strange and unwanted, pulling me from her. I'm losing the touch, the light, and that sweet force within begins to dissipate until loneliness takes over and I'm searching for her, faintly aware that I can only hear her soft voice, not see or feel her, because somehow, the bed is melting underneath, melting into darkness, taking me with it until there's nothing left but dim white...
***
I left the bathroom, wrapped in a light terry cloth towel, still toweling my hair. I heard the muffled voices of cartoon characters and an occasional Dawn giggle from the living room and was once again glad for a chirpy Dawn as opposed to a depressed, scared, and rebellious one. I hoped that we were finally through all that, and from what I had gathered from our conversation the night before, I was confident that Dawn was maturing and would become a strong, independent woman.
Buffy was still asleep, and it didn't surprise me one bit. I decided to let her sleep just a little longer while I got dressed and straightened out the room since we didn't have to meet Giles so soon.
I dressed quickly, stupidly self-conscience that Buffy might wake up and see me naked. Not like she hadn't before, but this was different. This was sexual, intimate. The circumstances had changed, and neither of us could pretend we didn't care or weren't interested, because we both knew better. And okay, sure we both admitted we wanted to do it last night, no doubt about it, I never thought I'd calm down, and I knew by the way she was holding me, shifting around, that she wanted it just as bad as I did, if not worse, but, I was still self-conscience and a little nervous about the whole thing.
I popped a cd on, turning it down a bit from last night's blasting level, and made my rounds with the laundry, notebooks, research, etc. I kept stopping by the side of bed to look at Buffy. Goddess, how beautiful she is. It always surprises me how every time I allow myself a longer, lingering look, how I'm still caught off guard by her beauty. There are just certain aspects that really grab my attention, drawing me in, and if I'm not careful I will become lost there forever. I had really worked hard at protecting myself from discovery, and it occurred to me that she must have too, if what she told me the night before was any indication.
I was thinking about all the good times me and Buffy had spent together over the years. Too many to recount them all of course. Sleepovers, Bronzin' it, fighting the good fight together, sharing a dorm room. Okay so the last part was good except for neither of us really being there, and maybe that whole year wasn't that great. Of course I did meet Tara, but we're not talking about her. She left me, good reasons sure, but she left and now Buffy knows how I feel and she feels the same and Oh Goddess I hope this works.
I was standing at the foot of the bed, watching her sleep and thinking about the past six years, both the good and the bad times, swaying to the music, when I noticed that she was moving in her sleep. Moving her hips and moaning actually. Now what could that mean?
I walked over to the side of the bed and leaned closer to her, curiosity getting the better of me. In her movements, the sheet that previously was wrapped around her had been pushed down to reveal her breasts, straining against the satin of her bra. Her chest was rising and falling, and one hand clutched the sheet at her abdomen while the other was thrown above her head. Her lips were parted only slightly and as I leaned closer, thinking it would be fun to waken her from what ever erotic dream she was most definitely having, with a kiss, I heard her moan something that stopped me dead in my tracks.
"Willow..."
Huh? Did she moan my name?
That meant she was dreaming about me. Having an obviously very seriously erotic dream, a sexy dream, and a dream about sex with me in it. A dream about sex with me. I was stunned, flattered, even turned on. No, I was very turned on. Buffy Summers, the woman I loved, had loved for approximately six long years, the woman I've lusted over through two other relationships, the woman who's saved my life and been my best friend, the Slayer was dreaming about me, dreaming of having sex with me.
Of course I could have been wrong. She might have been dreaming about some evil demon succubus thingy and maybe she moaned my name because I was in danger and she couldn't get to me and save me like so many times she's had to in the past. Or what if I did something to make the succubus attack Buffy in the first place and she was just moaning my name because she couldn't believe I had gotten us in yet another mess.
Breath, take control, and breath. In, out, in out.
I decided that given the state of affairs the night before, especially the turn on of us snuggling so close, that she probably was having a "wet dream" and I wondered just how wet she was. Of course this brought my train of thought around to my own body which was responding rather embarrassingly considering I had started to rub tiny circles on my stomach just where my shirt ended, sending tiny shivers down to my already awake and wet center. I was really hoping to have quelled that since last night, but I found that I was either going to have to take care of the problem myself, which, I had earlier decided I didn't want to do, or, I could jump Buffy and hope I was well received. Choices, choices.
Slowly, I slid the sheet the rest of the way down her body, easing the sheet out of her clenched hand. I marveled at the tanned and toned long legs that greeted me. I followed the lines and curves of her body with my eyes from her cute little toes to her muscled thighs, to the white satin triangle between her legs, over the flat of her stomach, again the swell of her breasts, the curve of her neck, the wet tip of her tongue, barely visible between her parted lips, all the way to the splash of dark blonde on my pillow.
I licked my lips and decided that I would give Buffy more than just a good morning kiss. I closed and locked the door before removing my midriff and jeans. Taking a deep breath, I crawled onto the bed, kissing her belly button softly before carefully straddling her, placing my hands at either side of her head. I smiled down at her, watching her eyes move behind heavy lids.
I leaned down to her ear, extremely aware of the proximity of our bodies, and attempted to rouse her from sleep.
"Buffy..."
I kissed her ear tenderly and nuzzled the spot right behind it with my nose.
"Buffy... come back to me."
The music moved on in the background and I lowered my body more, pushing my breasts against hers. The sensation stirred a deep ache that caused my breathing to increase and I still couldn't believe she hadn't woken up yet. Apparently her Slayer senses were taking a short break.
"Buffy... wake up sweetie" I tried again.
I ran the tip of my tongue along the ridge of her outer ear causing her to finally stir.
"Mmmm..."
Her arms jerked up and grabbed mine.
"Huh?"
"Buffy, i-it's me." I said, hoping she wouldn't toss me across the room.
Instead she eased up on her grip and opened her eyes wider, trying to figure out what was going on no doubt.
"Will?"
"Yeah... Morning."
She smiled up at me before looking down at our position, and I think finally realizing just where I was, and how close we were.
"Uh... uh... Will..."
I lowered my head to her ear again and caught her earlobe with the tip of my tongue, sucking it into my mouth.
"Ohh... um... oh..." She started, but already I felt her give in to the sensation, her hands sliding up to my shoulder, then down my back as I continued sucking, licking, and kissing her ear and neck.
"Willow..." She moaned and I smiled, knowing I wasn't going to get any protests.
"Buffy," I said in response. "I want you."
"Uh huh... okay." She nodded in agreement before turning her head and bringing her lips to mine.
The kiss was soft and affectionate, only lasting a few seconds before she broke off.
"Wait."
I pulled back in disappointment. I had just known we were going to make love and now she was stopping.
"What?" I asked, the frustration evident in my voice.
"Oh, no, nothing. I just..." She didn't finish.
"What Buffy? I-I thought... I thought you wanted this too."
"Oh God, no Will, I do... I do... Believe me I do." She rolled her eyes before continuing. "I um... could I brush my teeth first?"
I was stunned into silence for a minute. Here I was making my move, totally turned on, audibly so, and she wanted to brush her teeth. I couldn't help it, I started to laugh.
"Hey!" She cried.
"I-I-I'm sorry!" I tried to stifle my laughter. "I-it's just that... you... you want to... brush your teeth!"
"W-well yeah... um..." She was trying to cover her mouth now, fully aware that I was still close to her mouth.
"No no... it's... here I was making my move and... you're worried about..."
"Morning breath, Will..."
"I-I know... but..."
"I'm sorry... I don't want to gross you out!"
I stopped laughing and just looked at her. I'll admit, her breath wasn't minty fresh this morning, but I didn't care at that point.
"Buffy... nothing about you could gross me out." I told her in total seriousness.
I could barely make out her smile behind her hand.
"You're sweet Will, but really... I'd feel much... um, better... and um... I could uh, pee too."
I nodded, remembering many morning sexcapades with Oz or Tara interrupted by the need to pee.
"Okay..." I finally gave in.
I slid off her, lying beside her with one forearm over my eyes, sighing deeply. After a moment a warm hand on my stomach startled me. I looked over to see Buffy eyeing me with a large smile plastered across her lips.
"W-what?"
"You are so beautiful." She looked at me as if for the first time, soaking up every inch of my body with her eyes before meeting mine.
"Do you know that?"
"Uh... um..."
"You are Willow, God..." She continued to run her eyes down the length of my body, her hand stroking my stomach.
She met my eyes again and held them, bringing her hand to my cheek where she caressed lovingly.
I put my hand over hers and smiled back at her.
"You're not too shabby yourself."
She leaned forward and placed a quick kiss on my nose.
"You're too cute." She whispered.
"Hmmm... I've been told that before."
"Do you really want to...?"
"Yes." I said, cutting her off. "I wouldn't have stripped and straddled if I didn't want to." My brows creased, wondering if maybe I had misjudged. "Do... you... not want to?"
"I do. Most definitely. Let me, uh..." She glanced toward the door to the bathroom.
"Well, go on then... hurry it up!" I tried to sound demanding, but I couldn't quiet the giggle that erupted from my throat.
"Be right back!"
She hopped over me and off the bed, slipping through the door to the bathroom.
All of a sudden I was a bundle of nerves. The confidence I had when I decided to jump her was nowhere to be seen and I shifted restlessly on my bed, trying to figure out how I should lay. As I was, or under the covers? Seductively or lazily? With my bra and panties on or off?
I was brought out of my nervous shifting by the sound of the water running. She was taking a shower! We were so going to have to talk about this.
***
"Be right back!" I said happily before jumping over her and off the bed.
I finished brushing my teeth and stood in front of the mirror, looking at myself. My hair was messed up pretty bad and I had bags under my eyes. Definitely not attractive, I decided. Plus I was pretty sure that if we were going to make love for the first time, I did not want to be scary-skank.
I ran the water, letting it get very hot and stripped my bra and panties off, tossing them in the hamper in the corner. The water felt good, coming down in a hard spray across my shoulders, neck, and back. I stood there for a few quiet moments, with my head down and my eyes closed, relaxing in the therapeutic heat.
I thought about Willow, about our friendship and the hidden love I had had for her for so very long. I thought about our time spent together, good and bad, just as I had done so many times before. She was my life. Every thing I did, somehow, I did for her, even if I didn't realize it at the time. I lived for her, fought for her, defended her, I had died for her twice, okay so not directly, but in the back of my mind I knew, knew that I had a job to do and it would save Willow. Every thought I had was related to how I felt for her, and I never realized it until our lips met the night before, until we kissed and I felt the spark between us blossom and glow.
Each time I reflected back on the last six years spent with Willow and Xander, I would realize that for all the hell we had been through, for all the apocalypses we thwarted, for all the turmoil we put each other through, I would never want it any other way. They were my life, a part of my family and I loved them with every ounce of my being.
I was alive again, brought back by the woman I loved, by my friends, and I knew I had to fix and put a stop to then tension, the worries, and the unspoken doubts and resentment hiding in the halls between them and me.
Then and there, in the solitude of the hot water and white tiles, I decided that I would live for them, live for Willow, and for me.
I washed my body down with a thick lather of soap, suds sliding down my arms, my legs, my stomach, imagining Willow's hands doing the same in a few minutes. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I had thought about making love to her for years, but those hows were in no way comparable to actually doing it and I was scared I wouldn't do it right, wouldn't make her feel good, disappoint her.
The more I thought about it, the wetter I got, the more my hands shook, and the more my stomach performed Olympic style flips. How could I be so turned on by the image of her straddling me, looking down at me with obvious lust in her eyes, and still make myself sick with worry and doubt?
"Buffy?"
"Huh?" I jumped back, almost slipping on the soapy floor of the shower, stunned out of my thoughts by a certain red head peering at me around the curtain.
"Willow!" I shouted, trying to cover myself.
"S-sorry... I just... I thought maybe..."
"I-I-I..." I stammered, not sure what to do and wondering why I was so nervous about her seeing me naked.
"I-I'm sorry... I'll go..." She said, sadly, disappearing from my view.
"Wait!"
I let my arms fall away from my body, and pulled the curtain back slightly. The sight that greeted me sent a pure bolt of electricity straight thru me, stopping my heart before landing directly between my legs.
My mouth dropped open and I was speechless.
She was standing in front of me entirely nude and I finally let myself look at her completely, instead of sideways glances while we were changing for gym, in the dorm, at the pool house. I took in every curve, every line, every crease, birthmark, hair, and freckle. I had seen plenty of naked women, in all shapes and sizes and nothing compared to what I saw in front of me. She glowed. She was beautiful. I took in the amused curve of her lips, before moving on to her small breasts with their dusty peaks, stiff and inviting. I ran my eyes down the length of her stomach, noting how a rib stuck out slightly on one side, down to the light red fur of her sex.
I licked my lips and tried to clear my mind enough to speak, but words were nothing I remembered, only outright desire, a deep need clawing at me from inside, aching to get out.
I glanced up at her and saw she was smiling at me. I blushed, realizing how long I must have been staring. I wanted her so bad that I was clutching the shower as if it was my lifeline.
"Uh..." Was the only sound I could manage.
It must have spoken volumes to her though, because she smiled wider than I had seen in quite awhile, before she stepped up to me, putting her finger on my wet lips.
"Can I come in?" She asked, her voice taking on a seductively husky tone.
I nodded, still stunned.
She broke my death grip on the curtain and gestured for me to move over as she stepped into the steady hot stream of water. She wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close and we just stood like that for a few moments, basking in the water, steam, and heat of our bodies.