The Spaces In Between
by Red Willow
5
[reviews]
I heard shouting downstairs. Buffy was telling someone to get out. Oh God, did she and Willow get into a fight?! I heard a loud crash and I leaped from my bed and shot out into the hall. I came to an abrupt stop at the top of the stairs however when I saw it was Spike and Buffy fighting. It figured. They were always fighting.
"You son of a bitch!" Buffy screamed and leapt towards Spike, picking him up into the air with her bear hands.
Even after everything I've seen her do, I'm still amazed by her strength. Then Spike grabbed Buffy around the neck and it was pretty obvious they were squeezing hard.
"Hey!" I shouted, starting to run down the stairs.
They were saying something to each other I couldn't hear.
I stopped mid-way down when I saw someone moving beside the stairway and realized it was Willow. Willow! She was hurt. She was holding her head and I could tell there was blood on her hand. I didn't know what to do. I was frozen in fear. What was going on? Did... did Spike do this?
I looked from Willow to my sister and Spike. Buffy had what looked like a table leg in her hand. She raised it towards Spike's chest and said something I couldn't quite make out.
"Buffy...?" I said, taking a few more steps down the stairs.
I didn't know what to do. I didn't want her to kill Spike, but it was obvious he had hurt Willow, was hurting my sister. What had happened? I thought he couldn't hurt anyone anymore. Oh God... He got his chip out and he came back to kill everyone like he always said he was going to!
Buffy plunged the Stake into his chest and I knew I would never see him again.
"Sorry Spike, but I should have done that a long time ago." Buffy said sadly just before he turned to dust.
"Spike!" I yelled, finally breaking out of my shock and leapt the rest of the way down the stairs, only to have Buffy's tight arms around me. I was crying before I knew it and just couldn't believe that she had staked him.
"Buffy!" I yelled at her, bringing my fists against her chest. "Why'd you do that?!"
"Dawn," She started, with an eerily calm tone, "Willow's hurt. I think she needs a doctor."
I stopped fighting, realizing she was right, I had seen blood on her hands.
"Willow!"
I ran over to her and kneeled beside her.
"Are you ok?"
"Dawnie?" She asked, not looking directly at me.
Buffy was beside me in an instant, apparently snapping out of whatever it was that had had her so calm.
"Willow? Can you hear me?" She asked her.
"Buff? Yeah... just... I-I'm a little... everything is spinning... ooh... I'm gonna be sick."
"Let me look at your head."
Buffy took Willow's hand away and I grimaced at the amount of blood on her fingers. I had always heard that head wounds bled the most. Poor Willow was always getting her head hurt.
"Dawn, call an ambulance."
"Is she gonna be alright?!" I felt the hysteria building up in me. Control, had to keep cool.
"I think she'll be ok... I just want someone to look at this."
"I-I'll be okay Buffy, really." Willow told her, trying to sit herself up. It was pretty obvious though that she was still too dizzy to sit up all the way.
I got up and ran into the kitchen, dialing the 911.
"911 operator, what is your emergency?" An older man's voice came from the other line.
"Uh... my, my friend is hurt. She uh... she hurt her head... she's bleeding..."
"Is she conscience?"
"Uh... yeah... she's awake, but dizzy. My sister said she thought someone should check it out."
"Ok, what is your location?"
"1630 Revilo... uh... off of Hadley."
"Okay, we have you in the system. An ambulance will be there shortly. Just make your friend as comfortable as possible, but try not to move her head too much, just in case."
"Okay, thanks..." I said quietly before hanging up the phone.
Never a dull moment in the Summers' household, I'll tell you that.
I made my way back to Willow and Buffy. They were exactly as I left them. Buffy was kneeling beside Willow, holding her hand and whispering to her. The only words I caught were Buffy's "I love you." I smiled, knowing they must have been down here talking. I guess maybe my talk with Willow earlier did do some good. Yay me!
I looked down at the small pile of dust that used to be Spike, someone I trusted with my life. I didn't want to cry. I knew that he was supposed to be this big bad evil vampire and had tried to kill us and if it hadn't been for the chip would continue to try until Buffy or one of the others staked him, but... But he was my friend, and harmless with the chip, and he protected me, talked to me, and most of the time he didn't treat me like a kid.
"Buffy?"
My voice was weak from trying to swallow the lump in my throat. She looked at me and I think she must have seen how upset I was because she jumped to her feet pulled me into a tight hug.
"I'm sorry you had to see that Dawn. I know how you felt about him."
"Buffy... I... I thought he couldn't hurt anyone... with the..."
"He could..." She gestured to Willow and continued. "He did."
"D-did it stop working?"
"I-I... I guess so Dawn"
"I'm sorry," she whispered and kissed me on the cheek, before letting me go and moving back to Willow.
"It's ok..." I said whispered back sadly.
"Buffy?"
"Yeah Dawn?"
"What... What do we tell them happened? I mean... It looks like someone threw her..."
"I know..." She glanced down at Willow and smiled.
"Buffy, I'll be okay... really." Willow told her.
"I know you will... but as many times as you've gotten knocked around I'd just feel better having you checked out. Is that all right?"
Willow nodded, then grimaced.
"Does it hurt bad?" I asked her.
"Hmmmm... yes." She smiled weakly. "Major headache. I'd like to sit up now."
"Are you sure?"
"Buffy... the guy on the phone told me to not let her move her head too much... just in case..."
"Well you heard the doctor Will..." Buffy said grinning at me. "Lets just wait on the ambulance, okay?"
"Sure... not like I have plans..."
"We uh... better get Spike... cleaned up." Suggested Buffy.
"I'll do it." I said, not even thinking twice.
I walked back into the kitchen and grabbed the broom and dustpan. Sweeping up my friend. Not something I ever thought I'd be doing before.
I swept the little pile of dust up into the dustpan and just stared at it. I wanted to keep him. Put him in a jar and keep him in my room. I figured Buffy would have a cow though. Probably several. Maybe she would let me bury him, or, or take him back to his crypt at least.
I heard the ambulance siren and thought I could ask her later; I would just keep the ashes in a safe place for now.
"Ex-boyfriend knocked you around, okay Will?" Buffy asked Willow, who nodded with a half grin.
"Oz wouldn't do that."
Buffy smiled, "I know that silly, but we need to tell them something."
Willow smiled back, "I know. It's cool."
Buffy leaned over Willow and kissed her on the cheek. She glanced over at me to see if I had seen her. I smiled. It was such a sweet moment. I hoped they worked everything out and it was going to be ok. I really liked Tara, but what Willow said earlier did make sense. I just hoped they could work out their differences as well and stayed friends.
The paramedics knocked on the door and Buffy got up to let them in.
She glanced back at me and said, "Call Giles. We need to tell him about Spike."
I nodded and took Spike back into the kitchen with me, as the paramedics came in and went to work on Willow. I felt so stupid carrying this dustpan with a pile of vampire dust around. I needed to find a container to keep him in.
I dialed Giles' number, hoping he was still up. Waking him during sleep always resulted in very grumpy.
"...Good grief... Hello?" Came his grumpy, 'I was asleep and haven't had any tea yet' voice.
"Giles, it's me, Dawn."
"Dawn? Good heavens child, do you know what time it is?"
I actually didn't and I didn't care.
"Giles... Buffy-"
"Is everything all right? Buffy? Is she hurt? Are you okay?"
"Giles!" I shouted, getting his attention. "We're fine, Willow's hurt, but not bad..."
"Willow? Good Lord, what happened?"
"Spike..."
"Spike??"
"Giles, Spike... Buffy..."
"What? What? What happened?"
"Buffy staked him."
"She what?!"
"She staked him, turned him into a little pile of dust!"
"Dear Lord..."
I finished telling him what happened, or everything that I knew had happened. I still wasn't sure exactly what happened and I was definitely going to question Buffy and Willow about it. I was tired of being left in the dark.
Giles gave me a lot of 'Good Lords' and asked questions I couldn't answer. I assured him that apart from Willow's injury, we were fine and just ready to go back to bed. He told me to let Buffy and Willow know that if he was needed to not hesitate to call and that we needed to meet the next day. Like we weren't already going to go to the magic box to see him.
"Okay Giles, we'll see you tomorrow then." I said after he finally paused to take a breath.
"Right then, goodnight Dawn."
I hung up the phone and shook my head. He sure could talk when you got him going.
I returned to the 'scene of the crime' to see that they had Willow sitting on the couch with a small bandage around her head. One of the guys, who was super cute, was filling out paper work, while the other one was kneeling in front of Willow talking in a soft voice. It sounded like he was explaining some stuff to her. She just nodded slightly, wincing at the pain that she must have still been in.
"Okay then. We're all set here." Said the cute medic. He glanced at me and smiled. I flashed him a big smile and then realized I was in my teddy bear pajamas. DOH!
"Are you sure you don't want to call the police and file charges Miss. Rosenberg?" Asked the second medic as he stood up.
"No... it's ok. He won't be back."
"Uh... well you can never be too sure." He responded.
"Oh... um... I-I'm sure." She said, trying to convince him that she really did know what she was talking about.
"Okay then." The cute medic repeated before grabbing his bag. "We need to roll, Gus."
"Right." Gus agreed, picking up his own back.
I wondered what the cute one's name was.
"Get some rest Miss. Rosenberg." He concluded.
"I will..."
"You ladies be safe." The cute one said when they got to the door.
I flashed him another smile and he grinned back.
"Thank you!" Buffy offered, before kneeling in front of Willow again.
I closed the door behind them and locked it before turning back and looking at the mess made by Willow's fun with tables.
On the couch, Willow was nodding and saying ok to something Buffy was whispering in her ear. I yawned and stretched my arms over my head. I was getting sleepy and figured if we had to meet everyone at the tomorrow I needed to get my much needed rest.
"Is she ok?" I asked from the foyer.
"Just a deep gash, a bump. Nothing major. They said we could have wrapped it and it would have been fine, but glad we thought enough to check anyway." Buffy said, standing up and holding out her hand for Willow.
Willow gripped Buff's hand and stood up, holding her other hand out to steady herself.
"You okay?" Buffy asked her.
"Still a little dizzy... but much, much better. I-I think I don't want to be the one with the head wounds anymore."
Buffy and I both smiled at that.
"Okay Willow, we'll take you off the list for traumatic head wounds."
I gave Willow a tight hug.
"I'm sorry you got hurt."
"Mmm, me too. Why don't you go back to bed Dawnie. In fact, I think that's where I need to be too."
"I was just about to actually."
"Yeah, it's late... I need sleep." Agreed Buffy.
I made my way up the stairs and down to my room, followed slowly by my sister who was trying to stifle a laugh while helping a cursing Willow up the stairs.
***
The once piercing pain in my head had subsided to an annoying dull ache, but the room still spun in a merry-go-round fashion that had me craving the comfort of my bed and dark room where I couldn't watch the furniture float.
Buffy knelt in front of me as Dawn showed the paramedics to the door.
"Thank you!" Buffy said towards them before turning to me.
She cupped my chin in her soft warm hand and urged me to face her. I gave her a lopsided smile and sighed. I still couldn't believe what kind of day we had had. I shouldn't be surprised though, this was so the religion of our lives.
"How you feeling?" She asked me before touching her lips shortly to my forehead.
"Yucky." I responded, closing my eyes.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let him hurt you. And I'm sorry I had to kill him."
"Are you?" I asked, unsure if I believed her.
She shrugged, opened her mouth to say something, then decided against it and didn't respond at all.
"It's ok, Buff." I reassured her. Spike had grown on all of us in some weird way after all, he had helped us out a lot, watched over Dawn, and worked with us. But take away the chip and he would still be that evil vampire who wanted us dead. That thought never escaped me.
Buffy leaned closer to me after glancing at Dawn where she was closing the door after the paramedics.
"Will, I don't want Dawn to know Spike's chip still worked." She began to whisper.
"Okay."
"I just... I know how close she was to him... how much she considered him a friend."
"I know. It's okay."
"Thanks."
I gave her a smile. I wanted her to know that I understood why she did it. Why, after all this time she finally managed to do what should have been done when he first showed up on Giles' doorstep chipped. But, even I had argued that he was harmless, couldn't defend himself. I cleared my head of all thoughts on Spike. There'd be time enough later to reflect on him. Right now I just wanted to be in my bed, and maybe with a certain blonde Slayer in my arms.
"Is she ok?" Dawn asked from the foyer.
"Just a deep gash, a bump. Nothing major. They said we could have wrapped it and it would have been fine, but glad we thought enough to check anyway." Buffy told her, glancing from me to Dawn.
Buffy stood up and held her hand out to me, offering to help me up. I took it gladly, though I had to hold out my other arm to create balance. The paramedics said I wouldn't be dizzy after I got a few hours of sleep, however, and I was gladly looking forward to it.
"You okay?" Buffy asked, after I regained my balance with her help.
"Still a little dizzy... but much, much better. I-I think I don't want to be the one with the head wounds anymore." I quipped glancing between Buffy and Dawn.
They both smiled, sympathy evident on their faces.
"You got it Will, we'll take you off the list for traumatic head wounds first thing in the morning." Responded Buffy.
Dawn stepped toward me and wrapped her small arms around me, hugging me tight.
"I'm sorry you got hurt." She whispered.
"Mmm, me too. Why don't you go back to bed Dawnie. In fact, I think that's where I need to be too."
"I was just about to actually."
"Yeah, it's late... I need sleep." Agreed Buffy.
Dawn made her way up the stairs easily, while Buffy urged me to take my time.
"Shit." I growled.
"You're almost there." Responded the Slayer, her muscles rippling with the weight of my frame against her.
"Stupid mother- ...Can't believe him... shithead... wouldn't be so damn bad if the room wasn't spinning! Goddamnit... Did that table have to have a marble top?!"
I cursed and growled all the way to my room with Buffy, my love, protector, and savior, trying to not laugh the whole time.
She helped me to the bed; though I was confident I could have managed on my own if I took it slow. But I know her and her Slayer instincts. And being that close to Buffy? Who would give that up?
This was certainly interesting. I saw my jeans and panties from earlier in the day still beside the bed where I had slid them off in a desperate need to...er... scratch an itch. I hoped Buffy hadn't seen them. Generally I was real neat about those things. She didn't seem to notice though, as she was still focused on my feet.
"Buffy? What is it?"
She looked up and me and smiled awkwardly.
"I uh, I just didn't know if... uh... you needed help with um... anything."
What was so weird about this situation was that on any other occasion she would have helped, no matter if I wanted her to or not. But now the game rules had changed and there was new meaning to everything we did. New rules, or no rules?
"No, no I'm ok. I um..." I looked down at my sweatpants and tee shirt. "Kind of figured I'd just... sleep in this..." I finished tugging on the hem of my tee shirt.
"Good... okay, good. Um. I need to use the bathroom and then... I'll uh... come check on you?"
"Yeah... okay."
She walked around to the other side of the bed and entered the bathroom through the enjoining door. Quickly, because I was embarrassed, I leaned over, chancing the dizzy spell and the new twinge of pain in my head, to grab my pants and throw them in the hamper. I slid under the covers and waited for Buffy to return.
I heard the toilet flush, Buffy cough, and the sink running. I even heard the little squeak that the hand towel rack made. When the house was quiet and you paid attention, you could hear everything. That made me think of Tara. We made love every chance we got. Most of the time we would put music on to drawn out the sounds we made, but I think even then Dawn and Buffy probably heard us sometimes we were so loud. I wasn't going to deny it, I was a screamer.
"Penny for your thoughts." I heard Buffy say softly and brought my attention to her.
"You know me," I shrugged, "Always thinking about something."
"Anything you want to talk about?" She asked putting her knee on the bed. I thought she might sit, but she stayed her position.
"Mmm, not now... tomorrow, or next week even..." I shrugged again, smiling. "Nothing important at all." I reassured her with a smile.
"Sure?"
"Yep."
"You uh... need anything?"
I glanced around, then added, "No, I-I'm good."
"'Kay... I'll uh... see you in the morning... or uh, well I guess, later in the morning..."
She turned to walk out of the room.
Come on, Willow, pipe up. I wanted her to curl up beside me and hold me and make me feel safe and love me. I wanted to feel those strong warm Slayer arms around me, smell her, hear her breathing, and feel her heartbeat.
I watched her walk around to the other side of the room, pausing in the doorway.
"Buffy!"
She straightened up and turned, and a wave of concern crossed her features.
"What? Are you okay?" She asked stepping back towards me.
"Buffy... I-I-I... I just..."
She came back to the side of the bed, looking at me with her beautiful soulful eyes, telling me she'd do anything for me. And somehow I knew it was true. I realized that I had always known that, always knew she'd risk her life to save me, always knew that she'd do anything to protect me. It hit me, that if I had looked closer, had any idea of the feelings that mirrored my own in my friend, that I would have seen the desire burning in those eyes, I would have seen how she would also do anything to have me, to please me.
"What is it Willow?"
"Stay..." I ducked my eyes briefly before looking at her again and willing her to oblige with my eyes. "Stay here... with me..."
"A-are you sure?"
I nodded slightly, mindful of the dull pain still nagging at my poor head.
"Yes." I glanced away from her then chanced her eyes again.
"Please?"
She nodded, her eyes locked on mine.
"You had me at stay."
I couldn't help the wide smile and joy that washed over my face, and I couldn't help but wonder if we'd really get any sleep. I had to clear those thought from my mind though, we both needed sleep, and I honestly didn't know if my head could take anything else.
***
"You uh... need anything?" I asked, stalling again.
I didn't want to leave her, especially now. I wanted to crawl into her bed and hold her to me tight, protect her from anything else that would try to harm her. I constantly vow to never let her get hurt, but still, somehow, she always does, killing a part of me in the process.
"No, I-I'm good." She replied after glancing around.
I wondered if she wanted the same thing I did. Which one of us would have the courage to approach the subject? Six years of friendship and there was so much we held from each other, so many things that took forever to tell. Now this.
"'Kay... I'll uh... see you in the morning... or uh, well I guess, later in the morning..." I said, realizing it was already very close to 'morning'.
I slowly walked around the foot of her bed, trying not to look at her through the corner of my eye, trying not to get lost in the fractured sight of her, trying to be strong enough to let her get rest, not to push her, give us both time. I hesitated as I approached the doorway, debating whether or not to just give in and go to her.
"Buffy!"
I turned around, scared that something was suddenly horribly wrong.
"What? Are you okay?"
"Buffy... I-I-I... I just..."
I couldn't resist that voice or the gentle plead it carried with it. I was at her bedside at once. I would have been on my knees in front of her if I thought that was what she wanted.
"What is it Willow?" I was desperate to know if she was okay.
"Stay..." She said in this soft, almost child-like voice.
"A-are you sure?"
The question left my lips before I had a chance to process it. What if she changed her mind and decided that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all?
"Yes."
She looked up at me with eyes that spoke volumes of fear and guilt. I don't know if she thought I was going to say no. Maybe she just had the same fears and doubts I had about rushing into things. I knew she was nervous about the whole situation; we had talked about this earlier, before the big fiasco with Spike.
"Please?"
"You had me at stay." I said, almost breathless, aware that my heart had begun to race.
A smile spread across her face, lighting her cheeks in a certain glow that seemed to make my mouth dry. I was lost in her completely. And surely, I always had been, but now, I had permission; I had knowledge and acceptance and I had her.
"Do you mind... um... if I, take off my clothes...? I could... um... it's just that... ya know... slaying... and..." I asked, the unease apparent in my voice. I managed a weak grin.
"Strip." She responded with a grin of her own. "Uh, I-I mean... I didn't mean that... like how it, uh, sounded... like... I meant it..."
I nodded and said, "I got it, Will."
I closed the door and moved back around to the other side of the bed where I switched the lamp off.
The room was entirely cloaked in darkness since the window's blinds and curtains were drawn so tight, not even the faintest bit of moonlight could penetrate. My advanced ability to see in the dark kicked in after a few seconds, however, and I could see Willow's pale features and the nervousness just below.
Quickly, I stripped down to my bra and panties.
"Willow..." I whispered sliding under the covers next to her.
I didn't touch her, not sure what she wanted from me. I lay still, propped up on my elbow, simply looking at her. She was staring straight ahead, in the same position as before.
Maybe staying in the same bed wasn't such a good idea. Maybe it was too soon for us to be this close with this new aspect of our friendship, or relationship. I didn't even know what to classify us as. Or, maybe it was too soon after Tara for her to share this bed with anyone. The image of Tara's fingers stroking my own from earlier flashed into my thoughts for a very brief moment before I was aware that Willow was shifting beside me.
"Buffy..."
"Yeah?" I asked, focusing totally on her. Anything she wanted I would give her, I decided.
"Hold me?"
Definitely.
I slid my right arm around her waist and gently pulled her closer, while I slid my left arm around her neck, mindful of her head, and cradled her there in my arms, resting my chin gingerly on her shoulder. She pressed her back against my chest and I was painfully aware of her ass in my lap. How I wished for her to be as bare skinned as I was. I brought my knees up against the back of her legs, spooning her.
"Like this?" I whispered in her ear. I could feel the heat from her body, extremely aware that she must be feeling the heat from mine.
"Mmm hmm... feels so good." She whispered back, wiggling her body tighter against mine.
My hand tightened its grip on her taught stomach and the arousal I felt earlier flared, coming back to life. I let out my breath slowly, telling myself to gain control. This is so not the time to make a move.
But of course, my body did not listen to the logic of my brain and I made a move anyway, bringing my hand down to where her shirt stopped. The white cotton draped over her hip and I fingered the underside as if debating on a new course of action. It wasn't long however, before I slid my hand underneath her shirt and moved it slowly back up to her stomach, resting it on the same spot as before. There was a suddenly sharp intake of breath and Willow's body jerked slightly. I wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not, so I stayed my hand, deciding I would wait for another sign.
When none came, I flattened my palm against her warm smooth skin and brought it up toward me slightly, before sliding it back toward the center of her stomach, only this time, further up her body. Another couple of inches and I would have been able to reach my fingers out to the undersides of her breasts.
She was breathing harder now and I took that as a good sign. I kissed her ear, very lightly, before whispering,
"I love you Willow."
She moved her own hand under her shirt, resting it on mine, before responding.
"I love you too."
With that, she moved my hand further up, resting it between her breasts. Oh my God, oh my God.
"W-willow?" I managed.
"Hmmm?"
"Uh..." My breathing was ragged, the flood of heat crawling over my entire body from one throbbing core.
I wasn't able to say anything else.
She must have sensed my growing apprehension because she gripped my hand tighter, holding me to her.
"Buffy... I want to tell you something.
"O-okay, what is it?"
"I want to make love to you..."
"I... uh... m-me too... but..."
"But, can we... sleep... first?"
I let out the ton of air I hadn't noticed I was holding. This was a good thing. We needed to wait, to talk, and figure things out.
But figure what things out? My body was screaming in desire with an aching need that was literally causing a twinge of pain between my bare thighs. I wanted her, worse now than ever before, because she was tangible, someone allowed, someone who wanted the same thing. Her body, her heat against mine was almost unbearable. I knew she felt it too, I could hear her unsteady breathing and feel her heart racing in her chest. My body and mind were feuding, logic and hunger battling for victory.
"G-good... yeah, sleep... sleep is a good thing..." I agreed, trying to cover the need and tension in my voice.
Neither of us spoke for several minutes, curled into each other. I thought she had finally gone to sleep when her breathing returned to normal. Now I can sleep, I thought, regaining control of my own breathing and slowing the thudding in my chest.
"Buffy?" She whispered, her voice barely audible.
"Huh?" I responded, my eyes shooting open. I hadn't even realized I was about to fall asleep. It really had been a long day and I was exhausted, even if I was horny as hell.
"I'm sorry." She said in this soft, almost vulnerable voice that made my heart break.
What could she possibly be sorry for?
"For what?" I asked, bringing my head off the pillow and back to her shoulder.
"For not... wanting to... tonight."
"What?" The confusion was evident in my voice.
Did she really think she needed to apologize for wanting to sleep, especially considering the bump on her head, instead of making love?
"I-I told you I wanted to... make love... but... and I know... that you... want to too... but..."
Of course I wanted to make love. Wait. Make love? I didn't just want to make love, I wanted wild monkey love, to do the wacky, swing from chandeliers and run around naked love, growling and tearing the sheets love, I wanted hot sweaty sexy love, kinky love, fire and passion and cuddle love.
"I-I can wait Will..." I squeaked finally. "Go to sleep."
"O-okay." She nestled tighter to me before drawing in one last deep breath and welcomed sleep.
I laid my head back on the pillow after giving her a light kiss on the shoulder, and smiled to myself. I love her so much. This is the way it's supposed to be, every night. This is the woman I want to wake up next to every morning. Then and there I decided that if she'd let me do that, then I could wait for as long as she wanted.