I'll see you in my heart
by Norwalker
Part 15
[reviews]
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I'll see you in my heart
Part 15
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Buffy got out of the cab full of hope and anxiety
The trip from Cleveland felt like the longest she'd ever been on. In all that time, her mind went back and forth over her relationship with Willow. Her expectations were balanced by the reality of the situation. She frankly was more nervous now than she'd ever been before in her life. Because possibly now was THE most important moment in her life. More even than saving the world. This WAS her life, her chance to live the life she'd always wanted; a normal life with someone she could love and cherish. Even if it turned out not to be "normal", if she still got into the thick of things, the most important part for her right now, and from now on, was the "someone she could love and cherish". Someone who'd been so much a part of her life for so long, that it wasn't believable to Buffy that she couldn't be part of her life.
Buffy walked up the path to Willow's door with her mind still going over what she would say, how she would act, all the million things that happen when you are facing something critical to your life, and how you want to live it. It wasn't 'til she was almost at the door that she noticed the tableau that greeted her.
Willow was on the porch, hugging somebody...
Before she even thought, the words and tone were out of her mouth.
"Ummm... what exactly is going on here?" Buffy said, sounding not too happy at what she saw.
Then she saw who Willow was hugging
"Kennedy!"
Her first impulse was to get angry. To turn around, and leave. To just go blindly back to what she'd had before, to turn her back and give it up as a lost cause.
Then, fortunately, her mind, and her heart, kicked in.
In those brief seconds we all face at one time or another in our lives, Buffy had an epiphany. She came to a place in the crossroads of her life, and was faced with a choice: Was she to go on with her life as she had up to now, never trusting, only believing what one saw with her eyes, and possibly wind up alone? Or, was she to see with more than with her eyes. Use what she knew about someone, and see what is really there, trust her heart, and risk it all? That was what she was faced with. It was the moment of truth for her In that brief time it takes to go from one heartbeat to the next, her life with Willow flashed in front of her. An essential truth came to her. That in all that time, in all ways, Will has stood by her. Even when they fought, even when thinks looked their worst between them, even at the times they held anger against each other, they stood together when it counted. She knew in her heart, absolutely, that she could trust Will. That this was the one for her, there was no other, and being impulsive, being stupid would lose the best thing she'd ever have in this life. That Will wouldn't hurt her. This , whatever this was, was nothing more than coincidence. And in the long run, meant nothing.
As she would say later, much later to Willow" At that moment, I knew I could no longer just see you, and whatever you do, with my eyes. I'll see you in my heart, the you I've known for so long . The one who through it all stuck with me, was true to me. No matter how things might look at first glance, I wasn't gonna base our lives together on that. That from this moment, I'd would at least go the next step, and find out the whole story before deciding anything. I knew in my heart that I could trust you with anything, including my life, and my heart. I knew in that moment I really , truly loved you, and I believed, truly in my heart, that you loved me".
It took but a second, but the expression, the attitude on Buffy's face changed. It softened, and the gentleness returned to her eyes. She walked up to the door.
"Hey, Will" She said, gently. She looked at Kennedy, who was still weeping on Will's shoulder. " Is everything alright?"
Willow looked at Buffy. She'd seen the anger and betrayal(misplaced of course) that flashed over Buffy's face, and felt her heart sink. But then in an instant, she'd seen something amazing. It disappeared, and in its place came trust, and caring. She didn't know what had happened in that moment, we can never really know what goes on in each other's head. But she knew that Buffy had passed a test, a final test, and won. She didn't think it was possible, but at that moment her love and respect for the small blonde woman doubled.
"Hey, Buffy." Willow replied, smiling a small smile to her love. That smile carried so much in it, you could write a novel about it . " She's had a pretty rough time of it. I think she needed someone to lean on ".
"Then maybe you better take her inside, while I get my stuff" Buffy said. She returned Will's smile with one of her own, another novel worthy one. Buffy turned back to where she left her luggage( God, I still need to learn to pack light, she mused), and strangely felt no jealousy towards Kennedy, nor any particular anger. Her heart was light. She felt good, she'd come home, at last.
In the brief span of a minute, Buffy grew up.
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Buffy and Willow sat on the couch, Kennedy between them.
It was easy to see that Kennedy was devastated. Willow of course, felt sympathy for the girl. She'd been her lover, and even as angry as she'd been at her last year at the hotel, she didn't hate her. Hearing her story, seeing how broken up she'd been by the experience, brought out in Will her softer emotions. No, she knew she didn't love the girl. That had ended that day in the Hotel in Los Angeles. But she cared about the girl, and right now, her heart went out to her.
What was strange was Buffy's reaction. It was no secret to anyone that Buffy couldn't stand Kennedy. From the first, they were like oil and water. Kennedy had always impressed her as being shallow, vain and smart-ass. Never listening to anyone else, she would put others at risk. There was more than one time that Buffy had wanted to take her out and kick her sorry butt. So, when she finally revealed herself in Los Angeles last year, it'd come as no shock to Buffy.
And yet... a year later, she was sitting here on Willow's couch, and Buffy was feeling an empathy for the girl she never ever thought she'd feel. Listening to her story, seeing her genuine grief and remorse, and her overwhelming guilt, Buffy felt a pull at her heart. She knew how it was to lose someone precious to you. She knew how guilt could eat and eat at you, how you'd wonder if you'd only been smarter, only been stronger or faster or better in some way, if you couldn't have saved them. She still felt guilt over Spike's death. She still felt guilt over all those people in all the years she hadn't been able to save. So, seeing Kennedy here, her heart breaking, led her to see Kennedy for the first time. That this girl, underneath the cockiness and false bravado, was just as unsure and doubting of herself as the rest of them were. That she really felt things deeply, though she'd never say she did. She still wouldn't go so far as to say she liked her, but she finally began to understand her.
Kennedy was exhausted. The emotions that had come pouring out of her, after holding them in so long, had taken their toll. She slumped between the Witch and Slayer, her body no longer able to keep up with her feelings. Her normal animation and energy was dissipated Her eyes had dark rings under them; the result of many sleepless nights. They gazed dully out of her face. She needed rest, and she needed to heal.
Buffy and Willow glanced at each other, sharing the same thought.
"Maybe I should put her to bed in the spare room" Willow said, looking at the now exhausted Kennedy." I don't think she can deal anymore tonight".
" Do you need help with her?" Buffy asked.
"No, I can handle her. Could you bring up her grip?" Willow asked.
"No prob," Buffy said, getting up and walking to the front door to get it. Willow, slinging one of Kenny's arms over her shoulder, brought her to her feet. Kennedy, in a daze, followed her lead like a child. They walked upstairs, with Buffy following with Kennedy's grip.
They helped the younger slayer get undressed and into bed(Kennedy was so out of it, she was like a young child). They stood in the doorway awhile, arms slipped around each other's waist. They watched as the young woman fell into a troubled sleep.
" So, what're we going to do about her, Buffy?" Will asked, looking worriedly at the sleeping Kennedy.
" I dunno, Will. She's been through a really bad time. No matter what we do, it's not gonna be easier on her." Buffy says, looking at the sleeping Kennedy." I have an idea..."
Willow looks at Buffy. " What?"
" I 'm thinking that she needs a feeling of redemption. I think she's not only guilting over what she did now, but over past stuff , too. She needs someone who understands what's she's been through. I think I know someone who could help." Buffy said. " Someone who's been where she's been".
"Angel?" Willow asks.
"Actually, I was thinking Faith" Buffy said, watching for Will's reaction.
"Faith?" Willow asks. Her eyebrows scrunch up in the middle of her forehead, as they do when she's worried." I dunno, Buffy...."
"If I hadn't worked with her for the last 6 months or so, Will, I might be skeptical too" Buffy said, smiling. " But she's changed, Will. Even from the time when we were battling the First. She's matured. I'm not saying she's St. Faith, now. No way" Buffy chuckles." But she's different. She is very good with people, a natural at teaching and leading. And, she has a natural empathy for suffering she's hidden for a long, long time. She's been where Kenny is now. I think, more than anybody, she can help.".
Willow gives Buffy a sidelong glance, and says, half-playfully," Are you sure it's not just so you know Kenny is far away from here?"
Buffy smiles." I won't say that's not a side benefit, but that's not the main reason. I think both of them would be good for each other. Faith has come a long , long way, but she's still a work in progress. I think helping Kenny would help her, too".
Willow gives Buffy a little pinch on her side. " Matchmaking, huh?" She grins playfully at Buffy.
Buffy doesn't say anything, but there's a knowing grin on her face.
Arms around each other's waist, they walk away towards Willow's room
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Buffy hesitates at the doorway.
Willow, sensing Buffy's unease, takes her hand and gently leads her to the bed. Sitting on the edge, she pats the space next to her
"Sit here by me, baby" Willow says, gently. She knows this is kinda hard for Buffy. Hell, it's not easy for her either. Buffy sits next to her, feeling a little uneasy.
Willow is wise. She takes Buffy's hand, and smiles at her. Nothing else. They just sit there for awhile, letting Buffy get more comfortable. In the silence, and the warmth of Willow's hand on hers, Buffy feels her heart relax.. Finally, Will breaks the silence.
"Buffy, honey. We don't have to do anything. Not tonight, not ever if it comes to that. I know now you love me. That's all I need. The rest'll come if it comes. I was silly to base it all on...." But she's interrupted as Buffy's lips capture hers.
The kiss at first is soft, sweet and gentle. Their lips caress across each others, the warmth and softness expressing their hearts. Slowly, the kiss intensifies, as the feelings long bottled in each are released. Will plays her tongue across Buffy's lips, and they open, accepting Willow inside her. Buffy gently sucks on Willow's tongue, drawing her deeper into her mouth. Their tongues caress and play, loving each other as the women love each other. They finally break the kiss.
"Wow" Willow whispers, her breath already ragged
"Double Wow" Buffy says, leaning her forehead on Will's. She breathes, realizing for a moment she'd stopped breathing. They both blush, and shyly look into each other's eyes.
"We don't have to..." Willow begins to say, but Buffy's kiss interrupts her again. This time the kiss is more heated, more passionate. Buffy draws Willow close to her, and their bodies mold against each other. They can feel the restless pounding of each other's heart. They fall back onto Will's bed, their bodies naturally seeking a closer contact.
Hand begin to wander, clothing begins to be removed, torn, anything so they can be together with no barriers. It's awkward to watch, but they so need to touch, to be in contact, they can't release each other for even a second. But they manage somehow to become naked, lying next to each other, their bodies touching.
Pausing for a moment, holding hands because they just don't want to lose that feeling of each other, they look at each other. For the first time, it seems, really seeing each other.
It's all new to Buffy. This is the first woman she's been with. She looks at the soft white skin of her lover, how her body gently curves in all the right places. How her breasts, small but pert, sit gently on her chest. How her nipples, hard, dark, are so enticing. She runs her hand over the curve of Will's hip, and is amazed at how smooth and soft the skin is. She is intoxicated by her scent; soft cinnamon and spice, and her own unique scent caused by her arousal. Buffy feels her heart swell in her chest, beating out the rhythm of her excitement. She is in love, maybe really truly deeply in love for the first and last time.
For Willow, it's her dreams come true. The way Buffy's hair casually lies on her shoulder. The curve of her body as it narrows at her waist, and flairs at her hips. The cute little V that holds so much promise and pleasure. Her breasts, round, with small pink nipples exhibiting her excitement. Willow reaches out, and runs her finger down the front of Buffy, enjoying the way her body shivers, the way her lips quiver and her nostrils flare. She sees the scars from her battles, the latest on her tummy from where the Bringer stabbed her. Her heart aches at the sacrifice and pain her lover has had to endure over these many years. She wants to give her so much love, so much pleasure to make up in small part for all she's given. Willow pulls Buffy to her, and kisses her deeply, expressing her love, and the joy of being with her here, now , and forever.
Their hands wander over each other, finding by touch all the exciting places they long to explore. Willow takes Buffy's earlobe in her mouth, gently sucking on the soft skin. Buffy, sensitive to that, moans her pleasure deeply. Willows lips begin to kiss and caress the sides of Buffy's neck, eliciting even deeper sighs and moans.
Buffy runs her nails lightly down Willow's back, and Willow experiences tiny fiery tingles running through her body. She moves closer to Buffy, her legs wrapping over Buffy's hips. They kiss, tongues caressing and playing , hands seeking ways to pleasure each other. The rhythm of their hearts increase as their passion builds.
Willow slides down Buffy , capturing her hard pink nipple between her lips. Buffy moans her pleasure as Willow first sucks on, then nips at the engorged nipple. " Harder, Baby, bite it harder" Buffy sighs, as Willow complies. Buffy, eager to please, brings her hands up to capture Willow's breasts. She lightly strokes her stake roughened thumbs over the sensitive areolas, and Willow sighs her contentment. This is so much what she's wanted. She's dreamed of this for so long, and it's happening. She can't help it. The tears begin to come, and she starts to quietly shake.
Buffy, concerned, looks down at her lover. She pulls her up, and kisses at the tears streaming down Willow's face.
"Baby, are you ok? Did I hurt you?" Buffy says, her brow furled in concern.
Willow smiles at her through her tears, her words soft, and full of the love she feels for this blonde woman
"Oh, no, honey. I'm... just so happy. So damned happy. To be here, finally, with you. God, I've wanted this so long, and now I'm blubbering like a baby"
Buffy draws her close, comforting her, and feeling her own tears come. She's never been happier in her life. In this moment, this second, her life is golden. She kisses Willow, soft tender loving kisses, expressing her own joy at being in the love of her life's arms.
Soon, the passions redouble. By silent consent, they shift around. They want to do this simultaneously, give each other pleasure together. Their lips eagerly begin to explore the other's body. Tongues caress in new and electrifying ways, seeking to touch in an intimacy only they can share. Their fingers stroke and touch, exploring the gentle curves and hidden pleasures. Slowly, they work their way down , kissing, licking, touching, each eliciting blissful sigh, moans and groans from the other. Nothing is sacred, nothing is taboo to the other, as they explore every bit of each other. The scents, the touch, the sight encourages more touching, more exploration, more of everything.
Finally, each reaches the other's most intimate center. Buffy, looking at another woman's sex for the first time, is fascinated. The way the sparse curls of Will's hair gently cover the labia is almost artful. She lightly runs her tongue over Will's mound, eliciting a shudder and a soft mewling sound from Will. Emboldened, she lightly caresses the folds of Will's labia with her tongue. Will groans deeply, and instinctively opens her legs to Buffy's manipulations. Buffy pushes her tongue into Will's slit, and is greeted by Will's hips squirming, and her moans becoming louder and deeper. This is Buffy's first taste of another woman, and it's exciting to her. Musky, tangy...with a slight sweetness mixed in. She eagerly tastes more, and soon loses herself in the task at hand. Then, her brain goes on fire as Will's tongue enters her.
Will, more experienced, is enjoying the soft tangy taste of her lover. She uses her tongue to make her more than a little wild. Stroking her slit inside, she ends each stroke against Buffy's engorged clit. Buffy is moaning loudly, her hips squirming and bucking against Willow's face. Will is just in heaven. Buffy might not be experienced, but her instincts are sooo good. She feels the fire building in her belly as Buffy's tongue and fingers bring her closer to the edge. She redoubles her efforts on Buffy, being rewarded by Buffy's nectar flowing out onto her tongue and face. She revels in the feel of it on her, the love that inspires it.
Both women are lost in the passion that consumes them. They work on instinct as the fiery ice in their tummies begins to flow into their bodies each lick, each kiss, each touch brings them closer to the peak. Each works to pull the other along, driving them mad with pleasure. Their minds are floating on a cloud of sensual ecstasy, beyond mere physical pleasure, Their emotions, their love stokes the fires that are consuming them. Soon, they are no longer two, but one together. Higher and higher they drift, the passion buoying them above the mere sensuality of the experience. Almost together, almost at the same instant, their minds explode into a blossoming orgasm, the tendrils of which enwrap not only their pleasure, not only their hearts, but their very souls together. Each little bit of the other seems to merge together to create a more complete, a better one. Their minds, their thoughts, their souls, and whatever mystical energy exists beyond their souls merge, forming something beautiful and wonderful beyond our understanding.
The women, exhausted, their bodies covered in a light sheen of sweat, their oils on each other's faces, lay quietly, each bound together and lost in that twilight world of afterglow. They are together as only two people truly, deeply in love can be. They know each other in ways beyond communicating, beyond thought. They just know. For nearly 8 years their hearts beat apart; now they beat together.
Slowly, as if coming out of a dream, they find each other. Seeking, their bodies move together, face to face. Their arms and legs are wrapped around each other, they need this closeness, this intimacy of touch. Their eyes are sleepy, their words soft , whispered and sweet. They kiss, and kiss again and again. Their words can't match what their lips, their eyes, and their bodies can tell each other. Slowly, sleep takes them in her arms, wrapping them in a blanket of soft sweet sensuality, holding them lovingly as they drift into a universe of dreams.
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The sunlight plays softly across Buffy's eyes, waking her.
She looks at Willow sleeping next to her, snoring gently, and her heart is filled again at this amazing, adorable woman in her arms. She smiles softly as Willow makes little noises and sounds, the sign of her ever active mind. Willow murmurs to stop, don't release the frogs...no, don't, and Buffy can barely repress a giggle. Willow stirs a bit, and Buffy, in a happy, mischievous mood feigns sleeping.
Willow's eyes open, and her heart starts beating faster again. Buffy is sleeping next to her, and she's so excited. It's everything she's ever wanted. She watches Buffy as she seems to be caught in a dream
"Oooo...yessss... that's so right" Buffy murmurs. Willow smiles, thinking Buffy is dreaming about last night. The smile turns upside down, however, at the next little bit.
"Mandy, oh, baby that's sooo sweet....never felt that before...oh, yes, yes, yes" Buffy murmurs, moving in the bed. Willow's emerald eyes go a shade greener. What? WHAT???? MANDY? Who the HELL is MANDY? What was going on in Cleveland while she was in San Francisco, huh? Grrrrrr....
Buffy can't hold back anymore, she giggles, giving herself away. She opens her eyes, looking into the green jewel-like eyes of Will. Her expression is priceless, and Buffy bursts out giggling. She sticks out her tongue at Willow, who looks like she wants to kill her, and eat her up at the same time.
"You....YOU....I'm so gonna get you!!!!!" Willow threatens, but Buffy just giggles and wiggles and jumps out of the bed. " I'm gonna paddle that cute bottom of yours red" Willow yells at her.
"Yeah, promises, promises, Will. But you gotta catch this cute bottom first" Buffy says, running out of the room towards the bath.
Willow in a second is out of bed and in hot pursuit. She catches a glance of Buffy running naked towards the bathroom, and for a second is just enraptured. But she catches herself, and runs after her. Buffy is giggling as she closes the door and locks it.
"Hah, missed me slowpoke" Buffy giggles from the other side.
Willow, forgetting everything, begins banging on the bathroom door. " You let me in there right now , Buffy Summers!!!"
From down the hall, a voice calls out, sounding more than a little cranky. " Would you two keep it down, please? It's bad enough having to hear you all night, now this?" Kenny whines from her room
Another voice, one Willow forgot all about in all the excitement of last night also calls out. " CAN YOU TWO LOVEBIRDS JUST SHUT UP!!!!????" Dawn complains, her sleep interrupted by the horseplay.
Willow turns red....oh, god. I forgot all about Dawn. DAMN!!!
There is silence from the other side of the door, except for a small squeak of surprise. The lock on the door is unlatched, and the door is opened a crack." Was that Dawn? Was that Dawn's voice I just heard?" Buffy says, looking a little upset.
" uhhh....yeah" Will says, looking mortified. A hand reaches out, pulls her into the bathroom, and closes the door behind her.
"What's goin on? What's Dawn doing here? What's Dawn doing in the country?" Buffy says, her expression confused. "How come she's not at school?"
"Uh...ummm...that's a funny story. I mean, well, not funny laugh out loud, but funny strange, you know? Not that its not funny laugh out loud in its own way, but well, but it's really funny strange. As in, funny that happened like that. You know how things can happen at odd times and all...." Willow, nervous, is in babble mode.
"Will? You're babbling" Buffy says, her tone and face neutral. " What's the deal with Dawnie?" Buffy is having a hard time concentrating. Willow, naked in the bathroom is cute. Willow, naked and babbling in the in the bathroom is full of adorableness. But she's gotta find out what's going on...but Will standing there all cute and all is just making it so hard to think. FOCUS, Buffy. Get a grip. Ok, now!
" Well, now don't get upset, Buffy" Willow starts. "Ummm... Dawnie...well...she's got major homesickness, and uh...well, she came to visit me" Willow waffles.
Buffy is suspicious. "Ok, so, why would that make me upset?" She queries.
Damn, Willow thinks, she HAD to ask that. And it's so unfair she stands there all pretty and cute and sexy and I want to eat her right up and damn, not fair!!! Concentrate, Willow, concentrate. She sighs
"There's more" She gulps, knowing Buffy's reaction to the next bit." She wants to ...transfer to Stanford and live here" Willow says, nervously.
" You mean, after all the trouble Giles and I went through to get her into Cambridge, at HER insistence, she now wants to leave?" Buffy says, her voice getting edgy. " I'm so gonna kill her. I.... I... and YOU!!! You didn't think to tell me about this????" Buffy says.
Willow bites her bottom lip, and squeaks out meekly " No" She looks at the floor.
Buffy looks at Willow, and her heart just goes thumpty- thump. She's just passed the cute threshold, into mega cute. How the hell can she stay mad at the sexy witch? That mischievous little gleam re-enters her eye.
"Well, you know you're gonna have to pay for this perfidy, don't ya?" Buffy growls. Willow looks up, but is grabbed and thrown over the Slayer's shoulder. Buffy opens the door to the bathroom, Willow on back, and heads towards their room.
"Buffy! WAIT...BUFFEEEEEEEEEE......... " Willow squeals, giggling. She's so gonna like paying for this.
"WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP!!!!" The voices from the other rooms call out , belligerently
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FIN.