Encounter
by Norwalker
Part 7
[reviews]
Encounter
By Norwalker
Part 7 of 7
Summary: A little tale of Buffy and Willow post "Chosen" (like about 10 years after). Really don't like writing too much about the story in the summary, but it's been a long time since the old best friends have seen each other. What happens? Read on.
Rating: R probably for language, adult themes, and some sex stuff.
Category: It's Willow and Buffy... you gotta ask? Ok, Angst/Romance/Drama.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy own the characters. I get nothing from this except the pure satisfaction of telling a story. Don't blame them if the story sucks.
Warning: Adult themes, suggested violence, sexual situations. Lovemaking between members of the same gender. Not for children... if you're ten, you really shouldn't be reading this!
Author's note: Ok, I think I've tortured the two enough. Some of the stuff below is gonna stretch credibility a bit, but hey...lets have some fun, ok? I wanna see them together in the worst way!
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It's Saturday night. The night. Date night.
Buffy is sitting at her vanity, putting the finishing touches on her make-up. She wants everything to be perfect tonight. She steals glances at her dress, and thinks how hot she'll look in it. She smiles, thinkin' Willow's eyes are gonna pop when she sees Buffy in it. She smiles to herself, hoping that's not the only thing she makes pop on Willow tonight. She giggles a little to herself. She checks herself in the mirror again (Perfect!) and is ready to stand up and get dressed when her mind shifts gears, and she's feeling a bit less confident.
Face it, Buff. This is just a skirmish in the battle to let Will know your serious girl here. No 'popping' is gonna be happening tonight. Just hope she'll be charmed enough to want to make a second date, third date, etc. If I screw this up, I might as well pack it in. Not getting anymore chances. I hate this, I really wish I could read her heart... have a clue as to what she's feeling. But God, she's so cool about it all. Kinda scary that. I dunno if I can win her over; let's face it. My history in the romance department? Pretty darn crappy. Either they leave me, or die. God, why would she want to be with me with that hanging over it? " Gee, Will," I'd say, " You gotta choice... don't love me, and live, or love me, and die". Oh, yeah, now that's gonna sway her... uh-huh. Yup, Buffy, you got her just where you want her. Uh-huh.
Buffy just stares at her reflection, not really liking the woman staring back at her.
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Willow Rosenberg has clothes strewn all over her bed. She just can't make up her mind.
She must've changed outfits a dozen times, and still can't find something she likes. She is getting close to panic mode. C'mon, Will, you gotta decide on something here, she chides herself, you're beyond pathetic now. Lots of good stuff to wear here, just choose something!
It's not the clothing that's making her crazy. That's just a symptom. It's what she and Jana talked about yesterday. What Jana said to her. Do you trust her? Well... yeah. I trust her with my life. I know if I were in trouble, she'd be right there with me. And no, I'm not sure. Because, she ran away twice when she was in trouble. Ok, so once she was 16 and totally hurting about Angel and that whole mess. And the second time, she says she was 'trying to keep us safe'. Sounds good on paper, but the... pain she caused. Doesn't she get it? Does she really think I'd rather be safe, and think her dead? How could she think that? Maybe a little harsh, Will? She was scared and confused. Yeah, ok, why not turn to your best friend? So how do I know, if things get rough, she won't bolt again? I don't! I wanna believe she'll stick it, but so far, no real proof on that. I wanna believe in her. Or is it she doesn't believe in me? That she feels she can't share everything in me. Maybe I got it wrong. Maybe it's not a matter of me trusting her; rather, it's maybe her trusting me.
Or maybe I haven't forgiven her yet. Maybe I can't forgive her. Not for all of it. I just don't know. I just don't know!
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Buffy is still contemplating herself in the mirror when a pair of green eyes, a mop of strawberry blonde hair, and mischievous smile appear in the mirror beside her. A small pink tongue appears between the lips, and Buffy laughs, her blue funk broken. She hugs Joy close.
" Hey, punkin, whatcha up to?" Buffy asks, turning to her daughter. Mock seriously, she asks, " Or do I want to know?"
" Just wondering what you were looking for, " Joy replies," thought maybe you found hidden treasure behind the mirror".
" Naw, I got my treasure right here!" Buffy says, squeezing her. Joy giggles. " So, kiddo, you ok with Mrs. Burke comin' over and staying with you while Willow and I go out?"
" I guess, " She says, her voice a little petulant. " I still don't know why I can't come".
" Joy , honey, we talked about this, " Buffy said, " sometimes grown ups want a little alone time together. Willow and I are kinda going on a date".
"What's a date?" Joy asks.
" Well, honey , sometimes when two people think they like each other, they go out and share an evening together, to get to know each other better," Buffy explains, " If they do, they'll go out again. Sometimes it leads to ... well, them really liking each other, and maybe even falling in love and stuff."
" ' And stuff' ?" Joy asks.
" Well, like getting married" Buffy says.
Joy looks confused and excited at the same time. Buffy sees her expression.
" What is it, sweetie?" Buffy asks.
" Are you and Willow gonna get married?" Joy asks.
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Willow has yet shed and tried on another outfit. She checks herself in the mirror, then shakes her head as if thinking What the heck am I thinking with this? She starts over to change yet again, when she stops herself.
Stop it, Will. You know what you're doing! You can't decide if you want to go through with this date, and you're putting off the decision. Make up your mind!
Think. Being with Buffy makes you happy, right? And... thinking about her makes you happy, right? Well.. yeah...but sometimes it makes me crazy too. And sad... and when I think about her running away, it makes me mad. But I guess most of the time, she give me major happy. Ok, that's good, right? Yeah, that's good. So, what's the deal? Why're you making yourself crazy?
I can't do this. I just can't do this. I can't risk it. I mean, right now sure she wants me. Or she thinks she wants me. But what if she changes her mind? What if she decides it's wrong, and she can't face telling me? Is she gonna run again? What if she finds... she doesn't love me? Can I take that? Do I wanna know that? Face it, Willow. You're scared. You can't deal with the fact that Buffy might reject you. Why don't you just admit it? You don't think Buffy really wants you. Well, does she? I might just be something to cling to. I mean, she might just see me as ... well, like a life preserver. Something to hold onto. She might not love me at all. I mean, not that way. Ok, Will, truth here, if we're gonna do this truth thing. You don't think she could love you, do you? You're afraid of opening your heart to her, cuz you think she's gonna just step all over it. Don't you?
No! Buffy wouldn't do that! She wouldn't hurt me for the world.
Oh... I get it! You think if she really starts getting too close, she's not gonna love you. But she'll be so afraid to tell you, that she'll hang in anyway... until it gets so bad, you wind up hating each other. That's it, isn't it?
No, that's not it!
Silence.
Ok, ok... that's it. Happy?
So, what're you gonna do?
I gotta call this off. This is just wrong. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I gotta stop this before it gets bad.
That's what you want? Really?
No! I want Buffy. But, I ... no, I gotta stop this now!
Good one? You couldn't have thought of this earlier? What she gonna think?
Don't care. Better she think I'm...nuts now, then everything go to hell. Nope. Never shoulda done this in the first place. Bad idea. Bad. Bad idea .Really bad idea. Let's just end this now!
Willow, while she's still has the nerve, leaves her room and head's towards Buffy's.
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" No, honey, Willow and I aren't getting married, " Buffy chuckles, " Where'd you get that idea?"
" Well, you said...." Joy protests.
Willow stops, hearing the conversation. I'll come back later. She starts to leave when the next line stops her.
" Honey, that was just one thing dating can lead to. Anyway, even if I wanted to marry Willow, we couldn't" Buffy says.
See? Told ya. She doesn't want long term... not really! But Willow decides to eavesdrop, at least to find out why.
" How come?" Joy asks, not understanding.
" Well... first of all, Marriage is a sacred commitment. You don't just marry anyone. You gotta really love that person, want to spend your life with them". Buffy says.
Well...what more do you need, Willow? She just said it. She doesn't love you. You're an idiot! Willow bites her lip, hoping not to cry.
" Don't you love Willow?" Joy asks.
" Yes, I love her," Buffy says. Only with everything I got.
Huh? Willow can't believe what she just heard. She loves me? No... only like a sister, idiot. But Willow moves a little closer.
" Doesn't Willow love you?" Joy asks.
"I think so... I don't know, honey, really, " Buffy says, " I know I wish she did".
Huh? Willow moves closer. I musta heard wrong. Did she say she wished I loved her?
" Well... why don't you ask her?" Joy says, not understanding why her mom hasn't.
Buffy smiles at Joy, " It's not that easy, baby." Buffy says, sighing a little to herself, " There're all kinds of love. I love you, but it's not the same kind of love I feel for Willow," Buffy tries to explain," She might love me, but like ... well, like a sister loves another sister. You know?" Joy shakes her head... the concept is just a little beyond her, " Ok, sweetie, maybe we can talk about this when you're older. For now, the love I have for Willow is probably different than the love she has for me."
NO! No, no, no, no! Willow thinks, So not true!
Joy, still looking confused, says, " What if it were the same though. Would you marry Willow then? " Joy asks.
"Oh yeah, honey. If she felt the same way I do? I would marry her in a second, " Buffy says, wistfully, " But ... I still couldn't, even if we both wanted to."
" Why not? You love her, she loves you... why not?" Joy asks, bewildered.
" Because two women, or two men, can't get married. Only a man and woman can get married, honey" Buffy says.
" Why?" Joy asks.
" Because a lotta people think it's wrong for two women or two men to be married, I guess, " Buffy says.
"Why?"
" Because they think it's wrong" Buffy says, a little sadly.
Joy thinks about that for awhile.
" Well, that's dumb!" Joy pronounces.
Buffy smiles. Out of the mouth of babes.
" Ok, well... say they got smart, and let you get married. And you loved Willow, and she loved you" Joy struggles over this, trying to understand all that she's heard. " Would you marry her?"
" In a second, Joy" Buffy says. Then she looks at her daughter, " that is, if you are ok with that?"
"Well...sure. I love Willow too!" Joy says, without reservation.
Willow stands in the hall, biting her lip harder, keeping the tears at bay. But why she wants to cry is so different now.
"Well, I'm glad to hear that, Joy, " Buffy says, " because... well, I need you to want Willow to be part of our lives. It's important."
"How come?" Joy asks.
"Well, I want you, me and Willow to be family, you know?" Buffy says, " Do you understand?"
" I think so, " Joy says, " Kinda like my friends? Like that? Their families?"
" Yeah, like that, " Buffy says, " Would you like that?"
Joy nods eagerly.
" Me too, " Buffy says, hugging her daughter. " You know, I kinda love you, kiddo!"
" I love you too, mom, " Joy says, hugging her back." So when do we get to be family?"
Buffy smiles, a little sadly, " It's not that easy, honey. Even though you and I want it, not sure Willow does".
" Why not?" Joy asks, sounding upset." Doesn't she love us?"
" I know she loves you, sweetie," Buffy says, trying to soothe Joy's ruffled feathers, " That's so obvious. But, I'm not sure she loves me".
"Why not?" Joy asks, not understanding.
"it's really complicated, sweetie, " Buffy replies, trying to think of a way to make Joy understand. " A long time ago, before you were born, Willow and I were really close. But I made a big mistake, and well, it really hurt Willow", Buffy says, " I didn't mean to, but that doesn't matter, cuz I did. It took a long time for us to get back together, but that's my fault, not hers, " Buffy explains, " But were not as close as we were. I'm not sure she can ever forgive me for hurting her."
" I've done bad things, " Joy says, " You forgave me!"
" That's different. You didn't know any better, " Buffy says, " I did."
"Oh," Joy says. "We're not going to be family then?"
" I dunno. Like I said, it's up to Willow, " Buffy replies. " I've gotta prove to her that I really mean it. That she's the one I love. I don't know how, honey, but I gotta do that".
Willow no longer tries to stop the tears. She's standing in the hall, quietly crying.
"Sweetie? Can you run downstairs now? Wait for Mrs. Burke? I've gotta finish getting ready", Buffy says, her voice low...trying to hide her feelings. She can feel the tears threatening, and she doesn't want Joy to see her cry.
Willow retreats to her own room.
" Ok, mom, " Joy says, starting to leave. She stops and turns around. " Mommy? Don't worry... it's going to be ok!"
Buffy, near tears, gets up and hugs her daughter. " You bet, punkin. As long as I got you, it's ok" She smiles. She kisses the tip of her daughter's nose, which always makes Joy giggle. "Now don't forget, you do what Mrs. Burke tells you, and no trying to stay up past your bedtime like last time, ok?"
" Aw mom!" Joy cries out impatiently.
" No 'Aw, mom' s , young lady " Buffy tries to be stern, but it's hopeless. She softens her tone, " just be good, ok?"
" I will ", Joy says. Looking as if the burden of the world has just been placed on her shoulders, her eyes partially rolled up, she leaves the room.
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Buffy walks over to where her dress is hanging, and stares at it. All the little nagging fears come back to her. What if I can't do this? What if I can't get her to believe in me again? I know I'll go on, I'll raise Joy, and be happy in her happiness. But am I so wrong to want Will with me? Sharing it with me? Sharing her life with me? Maybe I'm just asking too much. Maybe I just gotta accept it's not going to happen. Call this whole thing off, and just ... No, dammit, no. There's gotta be a way for this to happen. I gotta stop running, and face things square on. If I want her in my life, then dammit, I gotta fight for her. Make my case to her, lay it before her feet. Otherwise, it's just a life time of " Shoulda beens, coulda beens" ! I don't wanna be alone anymore! I love her, and dammit she's gonna know that before she turns me down! Taking off her robe, she hangs it on the hook on the door, and starts to take the dress off its hanger. She hears a faint knock.
Turning around, she holds the dress strategically to hide the fact she's just wearing a half slip and stockings. Willow, dressed in a long red silk robe, is standing at her door.
" Hey, Will, " Buffy says, reaching back for her own robe(feeling strangely shy...not like it's something she's never seen before!). She notes that Willow looks a bit ... off, and that she doesn't seem near ready. This isn't good Buffy thinks to herself, as she manages to get back into her robe. " C'mon in".
"Hey, Buff." Willow says, " Can we talk?"
Buffy, who's turned around to hang her dress back up, feels an icy knot in her stomach. Oh God, the ' can we talk?' speech. Now I know this isn't good!
"Sure, Will," Buffy says, keeping her tone even, "What's up?".
Willow, looking nervous, looks around the room for somewhere to perch. Buffy waves towards her bed. Willow goes and sits, hands folded on her lap. Buffy goes and sits next to her on the bed.
"Buffy, I really don't want to do this tonight", Willow says, looking at the floor, her hands, anything that isn't Buffy.
"Oh, " Buffy says, trying to hide her disappointment, and not really succeeding. " Why not?" She asks, hesitantly. She's not really wanting to hear the answer.
"When I got your note last Saturday morning, I was all jazzed. I thought, I really thought this is what I wanted," Willow says, " I've been thinking about it all week, and I've been torn. But I think now, I don't want to do this. You see..." But Buffy interrupts her.
" No, that's alright, Will. No need to explain, I get it" Buffy can't quite hide the hurt in her voice, try as she might. She gets up, because sitting next to Willow right now is... just wrong.
" Buffy, no, I don't think you understand...." Willow says, getting up. She puts a hand on Buffy's shoulder, but Buffy shrugs her off.
"What's so complicated, Will?" Buffy says, moving away, her voice getting a touch frosty, " You thought maybe you ... well, had feelings for me. But I guess you didn't, not really. Not when you thought about it".
" No, Buffy, that's not it at all, " Willow exclaims, a little taken aback at the conclusion Buffy drew, " I just meant..."
"What, Will? What did you mean? What ELSE could you mean?" Buffy says, her temper rising, " I get it, ok? Whatever the reason, you don't want to be with me. Ok. So, how about you go now?"
" Dammit, Buffy! Would you listen to me?" Willow says, her temper hitting a rare peak. " Why are you so darned touchy?"
"Touchy?" Buffy says, not believing what she's hearing, " You come in here, tell me you don't want to be with me, and then when I get upset, I'm touchy? Well, excuse me!". She turns her back.
" When did I say I didn't want to be with you?" Willow shoots back, " When did I say that?"
" Not those exact words," Buffy retorts, " But " I don't want to do this" kinda gets the message across, don't you think?"
" Maybe if you listened to me for one second, Buffy," Willow said, exasperated, " You'd know what I meant, rather than jumping to wrong conclusions".
"Fine, " Buffy says, still with her back to Willow. She folds her arms, and waits. When Willow doesn't start, she adds, impatiently, " Well? I'm listening!"
" Would you please look at me when I'm talking to you?" Willow says, " Kinda rude talking to your back!"
Buffy turns around, arms folded across her chest. " Better?" She asks, sarcastically.
" Much!" Willow says, her tone withering, " I swear Buffy Summers, you're the most pig-headed, stubborn woman I've ever met!"
"Oh, thanks, Will, that clears it all up. I'm so much happier now, " Buffy says scathingly, " If you're done insulting me, think you can leave now?"
"Fine by me!" Willow says, her ears turning red. She starts to storm out, stiffens, and turns. Her face is set in resolve mode, " No way! I'm gonna say what I came here to say, and you're gonna listen to me for once, Buffy Summers!" She marches back to Buffy, and stands looking at her, eye to eye.
"What? Not tired of hurting me yet? Well, go ahead, then. Shoot" Buffy says, glaring back at her.
"I'm not trying to hurt you, Buffy!" Willow says, " Goddess, that's the LAST thing I want to do!"
Buffy's temper breaks, and with it, her defenses fall.
" I know, Will, " Buffy says, her voice getting low, " You were trying to let me down easy. But it hurts to think you don't want me. I'm sorry."
"There you go again," Willow says, but not unkindly, " you're putting words in my mouth. I never said I don't want you. You nut, I want you so bad ... Goddess," Willow sighs, a little frustrated " you're awfully dumb!".
"Yeah, pretty dumb thinking... huh? What'd you say?" Buffy's face is classic.
"That's my girl. Sweet, not too bright" Willow chides her gently." What I don't want, Buffy, is to play games anymore. I finally figured that out. Guess I'm kinda dumb, too". Willow smiles a rueful smile.
" Is this just a game then?" Buffy asks, clearly hurt. " It's so not a game to me!"
" I'm doing this badly, " Willow sighs," Buffy, how I feel about you isn't a game. But, I told you I wanted you to "chase me , woo me". That was a game. I guess I was... well, heck, I wanted to feel like I was important to you. I wanted you to prove you needed me. That you weren't going to skip out first sign of bad times. You've gotta admit, I've got a right, you know, considering."
" I know, Will, " Buffy says, ruefully, " I've screwed up bad in the past. Run away from my problems. But, you gotta believe me, Will, I want this to be different. You and me, I want it to be different" Buffy looks at her, a pleading look in her eyes.
" I know Buffy," Willow says, " I wasn't sure until tonight. But now I do know."
Buffy's expression is bewildered.
" I heard you talking to Joy earlier," Willow confesses.
"Willow!" Buffy cries, " You weren't supposed to hear that! That ... that was private!" Buffy blushes.
" I know, and I'm sorry I eavesdropped," Willow apologizes, " but hey, no I'm really not that sorry!" Willow corrects herself. " Buffy, frankly, I was in the hall cuz I was coming to cancel the date, but for a different, far different reason," Willow explains, " see, I've been going back and forth on this whole dating/ relationship thing all week. Frankly, Buffy, I've been running scared as a bunny, " Willow pauses, cuz this is hard, " Frankly, Buffy, I just didn't believe you."
"What?" Buffy says.
" When you said you loved me, I ... I just couldn't accept it. I couldn't believe that you loved me," Willow says, beginning to feel really foolish, " I know, really dumb, but ... I guess I just couldn't believe that you ... really wanted me ... me... you could have anybody, Buff, " Willow says, " and frankly, lets admit it here. You've never really shown any ... gay feelings before. It's always been guys for you. So, you tell me you want me... what'm I supposed to think?"
" Ok, who's the' sweet girl, but not too bright' one now?" Buffy says, not sure if she's angry or what, " God, Willow, have you been paying attention? Did you get a look at my picture of the guy I was thinking of marrying... Joy's father? Did you notice a strange resemblance to a certain red-haired person who'll remain nameless but is named after a little tree? Do you really think it was coincidence that he happened to look enough like you to be your twin brother?" She gets right into Willow's face, literally. Her nose is scant inches from Willow's, " And exactly what is this happy crap about 'someone like me' not wanting 'someone like you'? Have you checked a mirror lately, Will? You're an attractive, funny, sweet, loving and frankly, beautiful woman. Who the hell's been telling you different?".
"Buffy!" Willow cries, turning about 6 shades of red, but oh so loving it.
" I thought we did this already, Will. God, what do I have to do to make you believe I love you? I don't get it, I ..." Buffy trails off. She's out of words, out of ideas. She feels it's hopeless. Willow is just going to never believe I really, truly love her. What does it take? " Will, maybe I was wrong. Maybe I just can't make you see how I feel. I don't know what to do. You're the smart one here, help me out a little, ok?"
" Buffy, let me finish, then you can decide what you want to do, ok?" Willow asks.
Buffy nods, maybe hoping she can find some way to convince Willow of her love, once and for all.
"After Tara, I was lost. I didn't want to feel anything anymore. I didn't know what I wanted to do anymore, but love? No, not what I wanted. Then Kennedy came along, " Willow says, " and she blew right through my rather weak defenses. So, I fell again. I really wanted it to last with her. But I should've known better. She was young, she was a little wild, and she wasn't ready to settle down. The harder I tried to hold her, the harder she pulled away, and then one day, it was over, and she was gone! After that, I just stopped caring, " Willow, feeling uncomfortable, stands up and paces, " I admit, one part of me so wanted you to come, to comfort me. But another part? Glad you didn't."
Again, Buffy is a study in confused girl.
" The part of me that wanted you? That wanted you as more than a friend? Knew I wasn't ready for you to be there... not really. Frankly, if you'd come, we probably wouldn't have remained friends." Willow, feeling ashamed, can't look at Buffy.
" Will! How could you think that? I'd always be your friend, " Buffy protests.
" Not you, Buffy. I know you would do your best to comfort me. But the way I was feeling, the hurt I felt? I would've lashed out at you, because you're the one person left that I really, really ... goddess, even in the depths of my misery, I loved you. And I wanted someone to hurt like I did." Willow still is looking away from Buffy, not wanting to see her reaction. " After that, I just shut down. Built walls to protect myself. Threw myself into my work, and kept a distance from everyone."
"Then you disappeared. I thought you were dead, I died a lot inside, Buffy. I can't tell you what I felt, only tell you that I withdrew more. Life, living, didn't interest me. Nothing really interested me. I was going through the motions of living."
" And then, like magic, you're back. And I got crazy, because of how you hurt me. Sorry, I tried to make it like righteous anger over hurting all your friends, but it was ME I was thinking of when I went postal. I wanted to hurt you so badly to just make you feel a little of what I'd felt all those years. And dammit, half that anger was self directed, did you know that?" Willow finally looks back at Buffy.
"No, " Buffy says simply," I was pretty convinced it was all meant for me."
" Thing was, while I was so angry I couldn't see straight, my heart was doing leaps in my chest because damn it you were alive! I was angrier than hell at you for what you did, but ... fuck me, I was happy!" Buffy does a double take... Willow uses a serious swear word once every 5 years or so. " the blood was surging through me, I felt ...something... and I, for the first time in 10 years, I felt alive!" Willow turns, and walks over to Buffy, standing in front of her. " I accused you of running away from your troubles, but damn me if I wasn't doing the same thing. I was running from life, because it scared me. I was afraid to live, Buffy. Afraid to do anything but exist."
" Then you start hinting, and not so hinting, that you wanted me. Loved me. Wanted to be with me. Everything I ever wanted, you were handing me on a platter. And I panicked. I ... I couldn't take being hurt again. I couldn't take opening my heart to you, and then ... well, you finding it was a mistake, and leaving me. Or worse, trying to stick it out, fake it, until you ended up hating me."
"So, I went to your room, to cancel the date. To stay safe. Better safe than sorry, huh?" Willow says," And I heard you talking to Joy, so I waited for you to finish... and I heard what you told her". Willow kneels before Buffy, putting her hands on Buffy's knees. " It was everything I ever wanted to hear, Buffy, " Willow says, her voice low, " It's everything I wanted. I knew then what an idiot I was being."
" Buffy, I know that ... we've still got a lot to work out. I know that trust has to be built between us again. I know all that, " Willow says, " And... all I can think is... can we skip all that and just get to the kissing?" Willow's eyes are wide, a little shiny with tears. But more than that, her desire and her love shine through.
Buffy looks into Willows face, and a whimpering sound emerges from her. And suddenly, they are kissing
And kissing, and kissing. They fall on the floor, their lips locked together. Too many years of pent up love, need, and desire are being expressed in a kiss. It lingers, going on and on, little mewling whimpering noises coming from each of them. Finally, out of breath, needing to breathe, they part lips, reluctantly. They look deeply into each others eyes.
"Ummm... Will?" Buffy pants.
" Yes?" Willow replies, panting right along with Buffy.
" Exactly how stupid are we?" Buffy asks, giggling softly.
" Uhhh... well, I think we broke the stupid-o-meter" Willow giggles.
" too much talk, kiss now" Buffy says, and she does.
The kiss is more intense, yet there is an underlying gentleness to it, a sweetness. Both women's lips explore the others, and they move together, their arms going around each other. They can feel their hearts beating together. It's a warm, lush, sensual kiss. Lingering as they exchange feelings they can't express with mere words. They finally part again, each smiling a soft, hungry smile.
" mmmmm" Buffy murmurs.
" me too, " Willow sighs, so hating that Buffy's lips are so far away. Like, inches.
"need more, lots more" Buffy says, hungrily.
" me too" Willow says, matching Buffy's hunger.
" Oh, no!" Buffy cries, sitting up.
"What?" Willow says, panicking right where she is on the floor.
" Joy. Mrs. Burke. Downstairs, now. Gotta fix that!" Buffy breathes out... so not wanting to leave those soft Willow lips.
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They get up, losing a few more minutes in a kiss that just COULDN'T be put off, then go downstairs, only stopping twice to kiss again. Finally, downstairs, they dismiss the confused Mrs. Burke( whom Willow pays double for not babysitting... much to Mrs. Burke's delight). After she is gone, they scoop up Joy, and over her protests, put her to bed. After both give her lots of hugs and good night kisses(which the girl laps up like honeyed milk), she settles in. They stand for a little while, hand in hand, watching her drift off to sleep.
They walk down the hall to Willow's room, Buffy slipping her arm around Willow's waist, leaning against her a little. They enter Will's room, and quietly shut the door.
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They stand facing each other, and a tiny bit of shyness lingers. Especially for Buffy, as this is her first time with another woman. It's rather weird for her. Not in a bad way, just... she's never really contemplated it...except in her fantasies. She's had lots and lots of those; but this is real life now... and she's feeling more than a little nervous.
Willow, more experienced, realizes Buffy's hesitation. She walks over, and takes Buffy into her arms. They kiss briefly, then kiss again, this one lingering on. When the kiss ends, she looks into Buffy's eyes, and smiles.
" Baby, if you're feeling too nervy, we don't have to do this right now. We can just kiss and hug", Willow says, trailing her finger down Buffy's sleeve. Buffy finds that sooo sexy, " Nothing has to be rushed, we have lots of time."
"No... I want to. I just, " Buffy blushes, " Well, I'm afraid I'll do it wrong".
Willow chuckles softly, and reaches out, untying Buffy's sash.
"What? What's so funny?" Buffy protests.
" You, you silly goose, " Willow says, softly and seductively, " Whatever you do, it won't be 'wrong'. " Willow pushes Buffy's robe off her shoulders, letting it puddle onto the floor. She smiles when she sees Buffy's hardened nipples, her excitement pretty obvious. Kneeling before Buffy, she tugs at Buffy's half slip, pulling it off her soft flared hips, and it, like the robe, is pooled around her feet. Willow takes a second to breath in Buffy's unique womanly scent, and see feels her own excitement increasing.
Standing up, she takes Buffy's hand and leads her to the bed. She sits her down, and again, she kneels before her. She rolls Buffy's stockings off her legs, one at a time, slowly, letting her fingers caress over Buffy's firm thighs and calves. She hears Buffy make a soft mewling sound, and, looking up, notices a wet spot on Buffy's otherwise pristine white panties. She smiles softly, realizing that Buffy is very excited indeed.
"Somebody's been naughty" Willow says, low and throaty. Looking up at her lover's face, she sees Buffy is indeed flushed. Her lips are parted, and look very wet. Her eyes are looking down at Willow, and the desire is obvious. Seeing, and smelling, how turned on Buffy is, only increases Willows sexual excitement. She knows her own sex is probably even moister than her lover's. Feeling particularly wicked, she reaches up, and strokes Buffy's sex through her panties. She feels Buffy shiver, and her smile turns wicked at all the delicious thing she can think of doing to her.
Willow stands up, letting her fingers trail up Buffy's thighs. Buffy, emboldened by Willows touches, and feeling naughty, reaches out and undoes the sash on Willow's robe. Willow smiles at Buffy's bravado, and kicking away her slippers, shrugs, causing her robe to fall at her feet. She stands proudly before Buffy, totally nude.
Buffy takes a minute to take in the sight of the sensual, nude Willow. Willow has in the years since she was a teen, filled out a bit, her curves more filled. Buffy, feeling a little shy, reaches out and touches her. She finds Will's skin incredibly soft to the touch, almost silky. Willow quivers under Buffy's touch, little chills running up and down her spine. When Buffy's fingertips brush over her nipples, she gasps audibly, and almost impossibly, they seem to harden even further, as if reaching out to Buffy's fingertips. She can't believe the fire that Buffy's almost innocent touches are building inside of her. Willow, as much as she's loving Buffy's explorations, has nasty little plans for her lover, and things might spin out of control way too quickly if she allows her to continue her explorations. She gently takes Buffy's hands in her own, and deposits them onto Buffy's lap.
Moving fluidly, almost snake-like, she glides around Buffy, letting her body caress against Buffy's as she moves behind her. Wrapping her arms around Buffy's waist, she pulls her close. Buffy can feel Willows hardened nipples pressing into her back, and can feel the softness of Will's body pressing against her own. Almost on cue, she leans against Willow, exposing her neck as her head rests on Willow's shoulder.
Willow gently rubs her hands over Buffy's tummy, and leans in, whispering softly in her ear," I want to be naughty. Do you want to be naughty with me?" She says, her lips almost caressing against Buffy's ear. Buffy, moans softly.
" Oh, god, yes, I want to be naughty with you, " Buffy hisses, her body starting to catch fire. Willow licks Buffy's neck, and Buffy lets out a low moan." Oh god, you're killing me here, " Buffy groans, " Kill me more, please"
Willow laughs softly then bites Buffy's neck , not hard, but enough to send streams of fire through Buffy. Her hands come up, and cup Buffy's breasts, her thumbs lightly rubbing over the achingly hard nipples. Buffy whimpers, her body shivering in increasing lust. She presses harder against Willow, her butt pressing hard against Willow's sex. Buffy's squirming manages to just make Willow more excited. Willow finds her own breathing becoming ragged. Buffy turns her head, and their lips meet in a fiery kiss. Their lips open, their tongues slashing in and out of each other's mouth. Moans come from both the women, lost in the kiss.
Willow's hand slides down Buffy's tummy, and under the elastic of her panties. Her clever fingers begin to stroke Buffy's sex, driving her to new heights of lust and need . Buffy's hips begin to buck, and Willow finds her bud, and strokes it lightly, causing Buffy to let out a low, deep groan. Willow cover's Buffy's mouth with her own, sucking in her tongue as her fingers work her magic on Buffy. Soon Buffy is thrusting down on Willow's fingers, her mouth sucking on Willows tongue. Her conscious thoughts are gone, it's all just feeling and fire and movement. Willow, knowing her stuff, teases her, slowing and increasing her pace, until Buffy is nearly wild with desire. She so needs release, and The Wicked Wily Willow is making her crazy with her nasty game. Her kiss becomes fierce as her need builds, her tongue moving in time with her hips. Then slowly, from the center of her being, a wave of pure fire shoots through her, followed by an icy storm. Willow gently squeezes her bud, and Buffy feels like she is exploding into a million pieces of fire and ice. She can feel nothing but Willow's hand sending into wave after wave of Orgasm. She feels as if her body has been pulled apart...drifting into space in all directions. Slowly, as Willow holds her, she feels herself come back together, the pleasure and pain from the intensity of her orgasm wiping out any other sensations.
When she can speak coherently again, no longer reduced to grunts and sighs and gibberish, she looks into Willow's eyes and says softly, " Oh god, what've you done to me? I've never felt like that before". She snuggles closer to Willow, who's pulled her around and is holding her in her arms, and her lips seek her lover's. The kiss is long and tender, tongues gently playing as Buffy floats gently back to earth.
But soon her lover's lips are not enough for Buffy. She wants to taste her all over. Her lips move down Willow's neck, and she gently bites and sucks on the skin. Willow sighs and whimpers her approval, loving the soft feel of Buffy's lips. Buffy kisses lower, covering Will's upper chest with tender wet kisses. Willow, already excited, the fires stoking in her belly, is pushed higher as her lover caresses her with her mouth. Buffy repositions herself, kneeling in front of her lover, and lowers her mouth to Willows breast. Willow gasps as Buffy's tongue gently teases her hard nipple and areola, sending shockwaves of pleasure through Willow. When Buffy bites her nipple, Willow moans.
Buffy, now in control, lifts Willow up, and inserts her thigh between Willow's legs. Cradling her in her arms, she returns to Willow's breast, as Willow almost instinctively begins to rub her moist sex against Buffy's thigh. Buffy moves her mouth from breast to breast, her lips doing sweetly naughty things that make Willow go crazy. Her pelvis rubs harder against Buffy's thigh, creating a hot friction that begins to shoot hot bolts of pleasure through her. Her head leans back in utter lust and craving, and her moans become louder and deeper. The friction and fire on her sex intensifies as she pushes harder against Buffy's thigh, her moisture beginning to flow. Her moans change to groans and grunts, deep and guttural, as her hips rock up and down against Buffy. When her orgasm comes, the first in a wave, her mind shatters into little fragments, her busy thoughts becoming nothing but intense pleasurable feelings. Wave after wave strikes her, tossing her this way and that, and she doesn't care, because the pleasure is so intense, it's almost painful. She cries out, and the largest orgasm hits her. She stiffens in Buffy's arms, and for a second everything in her body stops... everything is concentrated into a fiery center of pure pleasure and intense feeling. Then her heart starts to beat again, her breathing comes back, and exhausted, she falls back against the bed. Buffy comes to her, and encircles her in her arms and legs, holding her close in the aftermath of her shattering orgasm.
They rest for awhile in each other's arms. They hold on, looking deeply into each others eyes, their love shining brightly. The kisses they share are small, loving and soft. But they are like addicts, and soon the touches and kisses become more insistent, more probing, more exciting. They make love repeatedly that first night, passion and tenderness melding, their explorations and discoveries becoming more intimate, sweeter. Their bodies twine and untwine, they discover new ways to pleasure each other, new and exciting ways to touch, to kiss, to bite, and to tongue, which merely adds to the sensuality of their love. But on a deeper, emotional level, it's as if their souls merge, become one. Doubts, fears, uncertainties fall away, and are replaced with a deep, abiding love. Their hearts, sensing the union of their souls, seem to beat as one. They find a happiness, a closeness so long denied them; a peace so deep it invades the very core of their souls.
Finally, after hours of sweet love, their bodies give out, and exhaustion claims them. They move together, spooning tightly, as if the very thought of not touching is abhorrent. As sleep comes to claim them, they realize that there is still so much to do. So much that has to be worked out. But they know, somehow, they'll make it. That apart they're strong, but together, they're invincible.
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Fin.