Stupid Girl
by dawnm
BeWitched
[reviews]
Previously on Buffy the Vampire Slayer:
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"I mean, you are gay, right? What with the liking a girl and you being a girl, I guess I just sort of assumed...but you know what they say about assuming... If you're not - gay that is - that'd be okay too." She smiles for the first time and my brain comes to a screeching halt.
"Now you can't stop saying it." She says with a soft laugh. I'm dangerously close to losing control so I casually let go of her hand and put a few more inches of space between us.
"I can stop. Really, I can." I say, returning her smile. "But are you...you know...the thing I'm not saying?" This makes her smile again. This time her eyes smile too and I hope she doesn't see me melting here...
"Uh huh." She says with a goofy little grin. And just like that, I'm lost in quiet celebration, suddenly thrilled that I have two X-chromosomes. Yay, me! Is that pathetic?
Now, if I just had everything else that Tara has...
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BeWitched
Which reminds me... "What are you doing here?" Well that was smooth. "What I mean is...I thought after Oz left that you'd be with Tara. But you're here."
"Oh, I'm just taking your advice." She says. My advice? I didn't tell her not to see Tara. But if I'd known she was taking advice...
"What advice?" I ask, deeply curious.
"Following my heart...." She says. I know I didn't hear that right. Or she didn't mean it the way I heard it. Just look confused and she'll explain.
"After our talk this morning, your reaction when I told you, I've been thinking. There was weirdness, Buffy, and I don't want there to be weirdness between us. So...my heart and I, we were talking," She says with an adorable grin. "And it told me that I needed to be here. You're my best friend. I don't want to lose you."
I can't stop the tears and I can't stop her from hugging me, which she does, as soon as she sees that I'm crying. Willow's just that way, so incredibly sweet. She spent all day thinking that I was rejecting her for being gay - which, if it were true, would make me a total bitch - and still she comes here to try to make up with me instead of going to be with Tara. And now she's hugging me, trying to make me feel better.
Mmmm, soooo soft and warm. I can feel her heartbeat against my chest, her arms around me...and I'm really wishing Tara was a vamp, or even a demon, cause it'd make things a whole lot easier if I could just stake her. Not that I want to kill her. She seems like a nice enough girl. I just...I don't think I can stand to see her with my Willow.
"Buffy?" Her voice sounds a little strained and I realize that I've been holding onto her too tightly for too long. Guiltily I pull away, praying that she doesn't notice the change in my breathing or any of the other little signs that all point to me being hopelessly in love with her.
"Sorry." I say lamely. She looks a bit flustered and I rush to cover my tracks. "I'm sorry if I seemed weird this morning. I was just surprised, I guess. But I really am okay with it. You could never lose me, Will." I say with conviction, my eyes locked on hers. I must have convinced her...because she's hugging me again. I'm surrounded by all that is Willow. And she's breathing on my neck. My nervous system is on serious overload here. Mmmm, I like. I really like...
No, wait. Bad. Very bad.
Somehow, don't ask me how, I find the strength to pull away, only to find myself lost in her eyes. Nobody has eyes like Willow. She can carry on entire conversations with just those amazing green eyes. I could sit here for days just looking at her. But...that might be a little obvious.
So, I force myself to stand up, put some distance between us. But now I'm pacing. This doesn't look good. Really need to relax. I feel her eyes on me as I stop in the middle of the room.
"Um, Buffy...isn't this the same song that was playing when I came in...?" She asks.
"Yeah. Sorry. I'll turn it off." I say, hurrying toward the CD player. Don't listen to it, Will. And please don't ask...
"Hey, I know this song..." She says as I reach for the stop button. "It's really depressing, Buffy. How long were you listening to it?"
"Not long." I say, trying to sound nonchalant. And it's not really a lie because it wasn't days or anything...just an hour or two. Stop, I command, punching the button harder than necessary. Sweet silence. Thank God that's over.
When I turn around, I run into her gaze. I can see the wheels turning behind those intent green eyes, like she's solving a riddle. Please don't, Will. Don't ask... "So..." She says thoughtfully. I groan inwardly when I see the glint in her eyes. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" She's not going to let this go.
"Wrong? Nothing's wrong. Everything is of the good." I say, but my voice betrays me. Stupid squeaky voice.
The famous Willow resolve face slides firmly into place. "When I came in you were crying, Buffy."
How do I get out of this? "Patrol!" I blurt out when the idea pops into my head. "Vampires, demons, assorted baddies. I really need to go." Sweater. Shoes. Stakes.
"Great. I'll come with you." She says, meeting me at the door. "And we can talk...."
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