What I Am
by sailor80
Twelve
[reviews]
Faith followed Buffy to where the witches were sitting. She saw then floating a few inches off the ground. When Buffy touched Willow, they lurched, then quickly righted themselves before lowering slowly. She was impressed that Willow checked Tara before responding to Buffy. Then Buffy dragged Willow into the house.
Tara stared at the ground. Buffy looked upset when she pulled Willow away, and Tara was certain she was the cause.
Faith squatted in front of Tara. "Cool trick, Blondie."
"Thanks," Tara said without looking up.
"Don't worry about B. She'll get over it," Faith said. When Tara still didn't look up, Faith reached out and took Tara's chin in one hand. She raised Tara's face and waited until Tara looked her in the eye. "She's jealous. It's a slayer thing. Doesn't mean she doesn't like you."
"Okay," Tara said, and Faith released her chin. Tara immediately looked down again.
Faith slid forward onto her knees. "Is that your only trick?"
"It's not a trick," Tara said.
"Okay," Faith agreed. "Whatever it is, can you show me how?"
"We were m-meditating."
"I can do that," Faith said confidently.
Tara looked up. She eyed Faith through the curtain of her hair. "O-okay," she said cautiously.
Faith rearranged herself into the cross-legged position that mimicked Tara's. Tara drew a deep breath. She put one hand on Faith's knee and the other, palm down, against the ground. Faith did the same.
"Close your eyes," Tara said softly.
Faith complied.
Tara began talking quietly. Faith listened and did her best to follow Tara's instruction. It was easy to follow Tara's low voice. Images began to rush at her. Faith watched as a small blonde girl played and gathered flowers and grew. She felt clearly the surprise and shock of the first time her father hit her and knocked her to the floor. The images came faster and faster, until Faith recognized a much younger Tara sitting on a bed in a hospital emergency room with the edges of a white cast reaching just past a sling.
Tara didn't get anything so concrete from Faith. There was too much confusion, and stress and fear. Things were too quick and too powerful for her to get a handle on the outpouring of Faith's memories. It reminded Tara of the white noise from the television after the last station went off the air for the night.
For Faith, the images kept coming until she saw a slightly older Tara standing in front of her, smiling and teasing. Then Tara looked confused. "Your shirt," she said, and fell to the floor. Faith jerked her hand away from Tara and opened her eyes. "What the hell was that?" she demanded.
"What was what?" Tara felt a moment of disorientation from their sudden separation.
"That." Faith gestured between them.
"Us."
"No, no, no," Faith said emphatically. "That was not us. It was you. And a lot of stuff. And. And." Faith jumped to her feet and looked around. She suddenly felt raw, and each molecule of air that touched her skin sent its own message of pain. She took off running toward the back of the garden.
Tara lowered her head. Tears dripped down her face. They fell unnoticed from her chin, and landed on her boots. Since she was six, her birthdays had been disasters, despite her mother's best effort. 'Why should this one be different?' she wondered bitterly.
Tara had no idea how long she had been there when Faith returned. She crouched beside Tara. "You okay?" Faith asked softly.
Tara nodded, but didn't look up. She hastily wiped her eyes.
"We need to talk," Faith said.
Tara looked at her. Faith smiled gently, and Tara nodded again. She uncurled her legs, and took the hand Faith offered to get to her feet. Tara tried to pull her hand away, but Faith wouldn't allow it.
Willow was completely engrossed in the documents on the disks. She had a notebook beside her and jotted notes as she read. Unfortunately, she had only one pen, but kept putting it down and reaching for another before recalling that it was all she had Occasionally, Willow heard the click of pool balls colliding with each other, and knew Buffy was in the game room.
She finished one disk, and got up from her chair and stretched. "Buffy," she called.
Buffy appeared in the doorway. "Yeah?"
"Hey," Willow grinned.
"Hey," Buffy answered. She smiled back, and moved toward Willow. "You finished?"
"Not hardly. Just need a break. And smoochies."
"I think that can be arranged."
"Yeah?" Willow stepped into Buffy's arms.
"Yeah." Buffy kissed her slowly.
"Wow." Willow said when they finished. She and Buffy rested forehead to forehead.
"Yeah," Buffy agreed. For these moments, there was nothing in the world except Willow. A small earthquake broke her concentration, and she pulled them both into the doorjamb.
When it finished, Buffy asked, "Did you feel that?"
"It was an earthquake, Buffy. Of course I felt it."
"Not that."
"What?" Willow asked.
"I don't know." Buffy frowned. "It wasn't just an earthquake. I felt something Hellmouthy." She sighed. "I don't wanna go back to high school."
"Me, either," Willow agreed. "We'll ask Giles about it."
"Oh! We were going to call Xander."
"I left a message with his mom and at his job."
"You are too efficient." Buffy smiled at Willow and gave her a quick kiss. "Oh, I just had an idea. We should fix lunch. I mean, we can make sandwiches, right?"
"Great idea." Willow bounced a little, and Buffy let her go. She followed Willow to the kitchen.
The earthquake knocked Faith and Tara to the ground. Tara landed on top of Faith, who put her arms around the blonde. They stared at each other for the few seconds the earthquake lasted.
"Wow!" Faith grinned excitedly. "My first earthquake. You okay?"
Tara nodded and pushed off Faith, who released her reluctantly. They sat up, and Tara wrinkled her nose. "Do you smell that?"
"Smell wha? Oh my god, that reeks!" Faith got to her feet and looked around. Tara, too, stood. She followed Faith's pointing finger to a small fissure in the earth. Dark smoke and the scent of sulphur curled lazily from it. "Odd place for a gas line," Faith said.
"That's n-not a g-g-gas l-line." Tara backed away without looking. She tripped and fell backward.
Faith looked away from the tear in the ground for the first time when she heard Tara land. She hurried over to help Tara to her feet. "What is it, then?"
Tara shook her head. She didn't want to say aloud what she thought. "W-w-w-w," she began, then stopped, frustrated and annoyed with herself.
Faith seemed to read her mind. "B should see this." She set a brisk pace through the garden and pulled Tara along.
Faith started yelling as soon as she opened the door. "B! Where are you? B?" She entered the kitchen.
"What, Faith?"
"Didja feel the earthquake?"
"Yeah." Buffy turned away from the counter full of half-made sandwiches.
"It opened something in the back yard."
Buffy turned to Willow. "See, I told you something Hellmouthy was happening."
"Yay you," Willow said sheepishly.
"Show me," Buffy asked Faith, and all four of them set off for the back yard. They stopped three feet from it. Faith still held Tara's hand. Buffy reached for Willow's as she went down on one knee and laid her palm against the ground. It was warmer than it should be. "This is not good," she said softly. "Not good at all." Buffy stood and looked hard at vent. When she looked to the group, they were waiting. Buffy spoke first to Willow. "Can you finish the sandwiches so we can eat on the way?"
Willow nodded.
"On the way where?" Faith asked.
"Hellmouth High."
They hurried back to the house. Willow and Tara stayed in the kitchen and finished fixing a pile of sandwiches while Faith and Buffy gathered their weapons. Buffy met Faith in the hallway. Faith wore the olive green webbing belt full of gadgets that Riley had given Tara for her uniform. Buffy chuckled at her appearance.
"Don't laugh, B. This is like Batman's utility belt. It might save your ass."
"Okay, Faith, whatever." Buffy shifted the bag on her shoulder and wished for Xander's rocket launcher. She headed down the hall. Faith followed her to the kitchen.
Two plates of sandwiches sat on the table, each with a pile of chips and a drink in a glass. Buffy looked at the table, then at Willow. She saw Willow's resolve face and sighed. She went to the table and pulled out a chair. "Thanks, Willow." Buffy picked up the first sandwich and tried to remember to chew it. She wasn't really hungry, but knew her body needed fuel for the task ahead.
Faith seemed to have no such reservation. She ate quickly, and thanked both witches when she finished. She took half a sandwich from Buffy's plate and was surprised when Buffy didn't protest.
Buffy pushed her plate away and got up. "We'll be back soon."
"Be careful," Willow said softly to Buffy. "Both of you," she added to Faith.
"Be safe," Tara added, looking at Faith.
"We will," Faith answered.
Buffy headed out the back door with Faith in her wake. "Where we goin', B?"
"Back to what's left of Sunnydale High."
"Man, I wish I saw graduation. It must have been a helluva fight."
"It was that," Buffy admitted. She hurdled the low stone wall that marked the end of the mansion's garden.
"So what's the plan?"
"Don't know yet. We'll see what it looks like when we get there.