Reactions and Admissions
by DawnBTVS
Chapter 16
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I stood by the side of the bed. Buffy had willed me to the hospital. I really didn't want to go, thinking back to my feelings when Jenny was here. Xander needed me though. I...needed to move on. If I wanted to move on, and stop grieving, this was the first step. I knew that, and I had to do it.
"Hey," I whispered, and held Xander's hand. He was quiet, but his eyes were full of thanks. I smiled, and willed myself not to cry. The doctor said that he had a broken nose. Luckily, that's all it was though. Xander moaned. "What?" I asked, my hand clenched his tighter. I didn't want to see him hurting. I was sick of people hurting on my watch.
"Damn," he mumbled. I frowned, worried that the doctor had missed something. Xander could be hurt worse than he's showing! Xander must've seen my panic as he smiled. "My jaw's a little...sore. I'm glad...you're here Will," he said. I smiled.
"I'll always be there for you," I whispered. I bent down, and kissed him on the forehead. He sighed, and closed his eyes. I watched him for a couple minutes after that. Watched his chest rise and fall. I wished there were some way to take away the pain, short of using magic. Giles would kill me if I tried that. My emotions were too mixed to even attempt it. I opened the door and walked back into the hallway. I sat down next to Buffy and Joyce.
"How is he?" asked Joyce. I smiled at her, as Buffy wrapped her arms around me. I snuggled against her, enjoying the warmth.
"He's resting, but he seems okay," I replied. I glanced at Jenny, still in her wheelchair. I lowered my eyes, guilt swallowing me. I could hear the tires roll across the floor, and looked up.
"Can we talk?" asked Jenny. I nodded my head, and glanced at Buffy. She gave me a smile, and a nod. I stood up, the feeling of fleeing in my head. I followed Jenny into the hallway as she turned to me.
"You feel guilty don't you?" she asked. I nodded my head.
"If it wasn't for me-" I began, but Jenny shook her head.
"Oh, no. No pitying me, or my condition. No feeling sorry for what happened to me, Willow. I don't need pity or guilt. What happened happened. It's in the past, and that's where it belongs. Buffy told me that you were having trouble moving on," Jenny said. I nodded my head again. "I can't imagine your loss, and won't pretend that I do. We learn from our mistakes, and we continue forward in our lives. The world needs us, Willow. You won't forget them, you never will. No matter how hard you try, they'll always be there in you. You can either believe that, and move on, or be scared, and stay. It's up to you though," Jenny said, softly. I nod my head. I want to believe that. I know now that I have to. If I don't...I decide not to think about that. Thinking about that might cause my brain to go into overload.
"Okay," I said. I reached my hand down and took hers. Jenny smiled up at me, and I smiled back. I suddenly felt good, like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. It was a start in my road to recovery. It'd be a long trek, but I'm ready to go all the way.
~~~BTVS~~~
I awoke, not realizing that my head was resting on Joyce's shoulder. I blushed, but she just smiled at me. I looked around and frowned, not seeing Buffy. I turned my eyes back to Joyce.
"Where's Buffy?" I asked, curious. I figure she's on patrol, though I hope not. Angel already made an unscheduled appearance and I'm afraid he'll return. He could have also changed his mind on wanting to fight.
"She went on patrol. She said she had to work off some tension," Giles answered. I stared at the floor, unsure of how I should feel. On one hand, I could understand it completely. She had tension, and needed to relax. On the other hand, she could be in danger, or be harmed by Angel. He's done enough to mess my life up. Mess up all our lives even.
"She'll be fine," Joyce said. I smiled at her, wanted to be as sure as she is, but I can't help but still feel the worry in the pit of my stomach. I sighed and leaned my head back on her shoulder. I'm surprised. It's like I've lived with Joyce all my life now. I've grown attached to her, and I like it. She's like my mother that never was. She worries about me, is affectionate, and I can talk to her, open myself up without being worried about getting a lecture. It's a nice feeling to have.