Impressionable Sorrows
by DawnBTVS
Part X: Injured Conscience
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It was night. The funeral was held today. I didn't attend though. I don't handle seeing friends going into the ground. Funny, considering that I often see them coming out of them, or at least, that was the case in Boston. Several friends I met at the soup kitchen were changed. I had to be the one to stake them. I've always wondered why it was the case, and I think I've finally figured it out. It makes it too real. I spot her marker, and squat down. I rub my hand gently over the lettering. My moment of grieving gets interrupted though, when I hear a demon snarling behind me. I turn, and the motherfucker's ugly. It's tall, greenish scaly skin, and has two nice curved skewers jutting out its elbows.
"Can't even grieve," I grumble, then charge. I go for a flying sidekick, and connect with its head, sending it backwards. I deliver a couple right hands and pull out my stake. Of course, it chooses that time to backhand me. My stake goes flying. I dodge as it tries to forearm my skull into oblivion. He brings his arm down, but his skewer thing catches me real fucking good. It caught me right at the top of my shoulder, going all the way down to the inner joint where my elbow is. It's a nice gash. B would be sickened by it. I think I'm sickened by it. I pull my leather jacket off, and toss it to the ground. I duck another swing from its other arm, kick it in the back of its leg to send it to the ground, and snap its neck. I gaze down at my arm now. Blood's just cascading out. I think he hit an artery or some shit, not well at all. I grab my leather jacket and sling it on, one handed. I cradle my left arm to my stomach.
"Bloody hell," says Spike, lowering his cigarette from his mouth as he catches sight of me. I grin at him. I must've looked like a demon at that moment. My white shirt's soaked in blood, enough to turn it red. My blue jeans are also turning a crimson shade. I'm feeling a little light headed.
"I'm in a spot of trouble," I mutter, my left arm just dangling. Spike nods his head.
"I can see that, love," he replies casually. I can already see that he's imagining lapping my blood up. That just makes my skin crawl.
"Well?" I ask. I'm losing a lot of blood here, and standing around isn't fixing my situation.
"I don't have a first aid kit, love. I suggest you run to the Scoobies," Spike says, shrugs his shoulders, and marches to his crypt. I growl in frustration. Fucking luck. Thank God for Slayer speed. I start running.
"Hel-" starts Giles, as I burst through the door. My skin's pale and clammy now. I think I left a river of blood on my way over. I just stagger down the steps as B is instantly at my side.
"Faith, what the hell?" she asks, obviously concerned. I'm starting to wonder if this never ending cycle of pain and suffering will ever end here in Sunnydale. Probably not since that would take the demon clientele out. I hear they do big business.
"A minor run in," I manage to gasp, and slump into a chair. I figure I'll be going into shock at any moment now. Thankfully, Dawn and Tara aren't there. I'm glad Tara isn't, since she's a good girl. I don't want her being worried like that. Dawn, just because she's still a kid, and reeling over her mother's death. I hear a car screech in front of the building. I figure it's Giles, and would pat myself on the back, if I could reach there at the moment.
"Come on," Giles says, grabbing me by the waist, and lifting me to my feet. He's strong for an old guy. By now, I can barely walk. Giles and B have to carry my body into the car. B's wrapped a towel around my arm, and it's starting to match my clothes. I smile, but I think it looks like a Joker smile, cause Red goes pale. As the car starts to move, I feel myself going in and out of consciousness, and then finally welcome it.
~~~BTVS~~~
I wake up in a hospital bed, and immediately cringe. I cringed more because I'm in the fucking hospital, again, a place I just left yesterday. It wouldn't shock me if the doctors and nurses around here have learned us by our first names already. I have an IV bag attached, and I feel a little delirious. I wince at the harsh light, and am glad that a nurse is there.
"Can you lower the light," I whisper, as she nods her head, and does so. The gang walks in then. They're all wearing concerned looks. I sigh.
"Hey," says B, both hands clasped in front. I can see the bandage on her right arm though.
"Bandage for me?" I ask, and grin. B just nods her head.
"I matched you, your blood type that is. Dawn did too, but she's a little young. You lost quite a bit," B whispers, and I can sense the fear in her voice. I frown at that realization.
"How much?" I ask. Giles steps forward this time.
"A couple pints of blood. That's a fair amount, for your size," he says. I swallow.
"Was I dead?" I ask, now worried that it was the case. Giles stammers. I stare hard at B. She just nods her head. Holy shit. "God..." I mutter, leaving the rest unsaid. Man, I just had to try and be tough huh? Fight a demon on my own, get my arm shredded, and nearly die. Like they hadn't suffered enough. I feel sick now.
"Your heart stopped for a minute. T...They performed CPR, and revived you. Buffy gave you her blood then," Willow explains. God damnit B! I'm trying to keep you all away. It's not working very well, but you are all making it that much harder.
"Guess Fate won't let me die," I whisper, tears starting to fall now. How did I ever luck into this? These guys just won't fucking quit on me.
"Do you want to?" asks Red, a little shocked at my outburst. I turn to look at her.
"Given my childhood, yes. I look at you guys though, and I'm not sure anymore. It used to be so concrete. I figured I'd die by age seventeen. I almost had my wish, then arrived in Sunnydale. B took me under her wing, and it was something I had never felt before. I never had friends, you know? I joined up with Wilkins because I didn't want to get too close to you guys. I get close to people, and they get taken from me. B gutted me, and I figured, here's my chance to finally die. Wasn't that lucky, just ended up in a coma. Came around, figured I'd get revenge. I got too close, again. Jo...Joyce was so sweet. I was sent to England. I returned to L.A., and was hired to kill Angel. B was there, and helped me, again. You never could just leave me to shrivel up huh, B? I voluntarily went to jail, and was handed over to The Council. You already know what happened. I came back, and figured I'd turn my life around. Do the whole redemption thing that Angel's so good at," I finish, swallowing. I wipe my tears away with my right arm, since my left is all stitched up and in a cast. Nobody says anything for a while.
"We'll be outside," Giles says. He turns and exits, followed by Red. B gives her a parting kiss, and stays around. I glance at her, confused.
"Tell me about your childhood, Faith," B says, taking a seat. I snort.
"No way, B," I reply. She glares at me.
"What are you hiding, Faith?" Buffy asks, her voice pleading. I can feel my steel wall slowly getting dented.
"Nothing, Buffy. Just...leave it alone...please," I whisper. She shakes her head, and stands up.
"I won't, Faith. You may not want me to, but I care about you," she says. I glance at her, and can see she means it. I sigh, and close my eyes.
"My mother took up drinking when I was three. She'd slap me around in her drunken stupors. It was just par for the course in my household. My father left when I was eight. He was banging some broad, and had been cheating on my mother for almost a year before that. My mother took it out on me, of course. She blamed me for her getting into alcohol. I was thirteen when I left home. I wandered around homeless for a couple months, then settled into this run down soup kitchen. I made a few friends. I found out about my calling at that age too. A vampire attacked me, and I killed it. My Watcher had watched me, and informed me of my all important Slayer heritage and duty. About a year later, my friends started getting turned. I'd wait, and stake them. It hurt, B. Can you imagine having to see Xander or Willow as a vampire? Have to stake them? Anyway...later, Kakistos killed my Watcher in front of me and I fled. I wound up in Sunnydale, and that's where my childhood ends. Happy?" I mutter, angry with myself. She just grabs my hand and holds it tightly.
"Thank you," she says.
"Whatever," I reply, but I can see her sincerity. She bends down, kisses me on the forehead, and leaves the room. I close my eyes and wonder exactly what the hell has happened to me. I was trying to keep everybody away. In the past, I'd have just walled myself off, but now it wasn't working. I found myself enjoying their company and opening up to them as of late. I was worried, but I was also starting to be relieved. Fuck it; maybe it was just a continuation of my redemption path.