Switcheroony
by alicorn
Chapter 26
[reviews]
Willow, having recovered a little and gotten her inner babbling somewhat under control, shifted slightly and moved her gaze to the two small scars still visible on Buffy's neck. They were testaments to the sacrifice she had once made to save Angel's life. Buffy had loved him and lost him but somehow she had survived. Sure their relationship had changed and the loss had left visible scars on her dear friend but her life hadn't ended.
Willow winced at the knowledge that now their relationship, their friendship would never be the same again and she sincerely hoped that she too could survive what they were going through.
They would never return to who they were. They could never regain what they once had. Willow now knew that the things they had shared and learned about each other last night would make that impossible despite all of their planning and promises. A sorrow filled her for what they had both lost and what she would soon have to risk.
Maybe if she'd never fallen in love with Buffy. Maybe if she'd hidden her feelings better. If Faith, or had it been Cordelia, hadn't been able to pick up on her feelings... maybe she would still be in her own body and none of this ... It had all happened because of her feelings. She was the magnet ... drawing the lightning towards them ... towards Buffy. Willow wondered if Buffy felt something. She wondered if she could pick up on what everyone else was talking about ... could sense ... If she thought Buffy had a clue... But how could she tell her? What if she just ran away from her again?
But right now, right here - Buffy wasn't moving to leave her light embrace. This puzzled her. 'Could Anya be right?' Had she missed something? Was there a part of that night that ... was there ... had there been something? Had she been so absorbed in the moment, in her 'dream come true'? But how could she not have been? It was a dream, her dream. Wasn't it? No, it had been real, weird, wonderful, awkward and mind blowing. But it had definitely been real.
Could she have missed something? Was it possible that in the heat and the passion of last night ... 'No, if Buffy had said something ... I mean she would have said something, wouldn't she? Right ... but what? Just what would she have said? "That was really great. Wanna be the love of my life?" Yeah, right.'
'But she did seem to enjoy herself' Willow recalled. Renewed surprise filled her as she remembered just how open, how receptive and how accepting a sexual partner Buffy had been. She had seemed to delight in the pleasure that Willow had offered her. But what if Willow had missed something? What if she had only seen what Buffy wanted her to see? What if she had just been making it easier for Willow? 'What if she was faking? Oh goddess, NO! I don't want to know if she was. How could I ever look her in ... I'd have to leave town or turn back time ... or it'll slip out one day and I'll just die.'
****************************BtVS*****************
Giles was now at a loss. Faith had agreed to answer his questions. He couldn't believe it. He knew he had some questions. Indeed, he had a book full of them but for a brief moment not one of them came to mind. He had been so thrown at Willow running from him and then seeing Faith that his mind had locked its gears.
"With questions like these a girl could talk herself to death," Faith finally commented impatiently.
"Sorry, sorry. I'm just trying to gather my thoughts and put them in some sort of order," Giles explained apologetically, frustrated that he couldn't seem to organize his own mind.
"Yeah, right. Well time is money, Giles old man. So let's cut to it," Faith responded sarcastically. "What do you wanna know?"
"Ideally absolutely everything," Giles replied ignoring her reference to his age, hoping against hope that Faith would just disclose everything to him.
Faith laughed. "And here I always thought older guys were meant to ... you know ... have finesse or patience or something. So if you want to dance, the least you could do is ask nicely," Faith responded, unwilling to just be so easily milked of information like some stool pigeon. She wanted to be treated with some respect, some courtesy. 'Where the hell did that come from?' She smiled at the ridiculous thought that any of these guys would ever treat her like a person.
Giles smiled, acknowledging that his request had been somewhat impolite. "Indeed. I apologize. I regret that recent events have robbed me of my manners."
"Yeah, figured you guys would get spooked but I thought by now you'd all be down with the research," Faith commented.
"There has been research. And I'm sure I wouldn't be giving too much away to say that our results still border on nothing more than hypothesis," Giles stated, unsure that he wanted to reveal anything about the vision quest. "Mainly dealing with nothing more than the summations and inferences we have drawn from the wording of the curse. It would be nice to clarify ... actually confirm if some of what we believe to be true is so," he continued
"So you come to the source. Smart."
"Possibly. However I am still somewhat unsure that I can take anything you tell me, or choose to tell me as the tr ...," he faltered, unsure how to say that he feared that she might lie to him.
"So you want a polygraph test? Sorry but I don't seem to have one on me. Guess you just have to work the fact that I haven't been trying to kill anyone into the mix," Faith stated spreading her arms apologetically. "So how are Thelma and Louise doing?"
she asked.
Giles frowned momentarily before grasping hold of the pop reference. "As well as can be expected," he responded evasively. "You seemed to be venting when I came across you. Is there something on your mind?" he asked, hoping to move the subject away from Buffy and Willow.
"Five by five, Giles old man. Just letting off some steam — old style," Faith replied. "So how's Red enjoying College life? And her new Slayer major?"
"She has proved an apt pupil," Giles affirmed before he could really help himself. "Faith, I must ask -- what are your intentions?"
"Aw hell, I'm not asking for the hand of your first born. But that's it, isn't it? The sixty four thousand dollar question. Guess you could say my intentions are honorable. I was even hoping to score some points and clear some IOU's," Faith grinned. "But surprise, surprise - my credit isn't what it used to be."
*********************************BtVS*******************
Buffy had never known time to stand still in quite this way. It was neither scary nor comfortable as the silence was weighing down on her. Conversation was coming -- she could feel it, like an approaching thunderstorm.
Talking would mean more lying to Willow and she was getting fed up with that -- big time. But in this moment, in this brief yet seemingly endless moment of contact with her beloved it was all so simple, so uncomplicated. Why did words just seem to make things harder? Last night there had been no words. Well okay there had been words but no conversation.
Buffy felt a slight shift in Willow and sensing a threat to the moment she lifted her eyes to meet those of her secret love. Catching a look of sorrow on the face before her, Buffy was momentarily puzzled. Willow quickly altered her expression to thoughtfulness but that too slipped and an expression of sheer panic took over.
Buffy's eyes grew wide as she tried to make sense of just what she had seen and what it could mean. But another shift from Willow and their embrace was broken. Buffy felt Willow remove her hands from her waist, leaving a warm echo at their loss. She self-consciously removed her hands from Willow's shoulders, dropping her gaze to the floor. "Thanks," she almost whispered, remembering that Willow had been helping her up.
"No problem," came the very flat response, as Willow turned to bend down and pick up the now somewhat dented first aid kit. Rising again she moved it onto the bed. Buffy watched her cautiously, not sure what to say or what to do next.
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Giles stood very still, his mind a rambling plethora of questions. Faith had not given him very much to go on. She had made it clear that she was here at the behest of Cordelia and Angel; that Cordelia had received a message from the "Powers That Be" and that the curse was intended as a good thing; a helpful thing that was necessary.
But it wasn't that which had caused him to lapse into deep thought in the middle of a graveyard. It was the very obvious fact that Faith had absolutely no idea about the curse within the curse. She hadn't even flinched when he had made references to the upcoming eclipse. He truly believed that she wasn't involved in this part of it at all. Lost in his own thoughts for a moment, he missed Faith's sudden alertness and warily searching eyes.
Faith yelling "GILES!" was the last thing he heard before a sharp pain between his shoulder blades made him fall to his knees. Shaking his head, he tried to clear the fuzziness and spreading numbness. Realizing that he was no longer on all fours but face down on the grass, his mind scrambled to recall details. How had he arrived here? What was happening?
Then his watcher instincts took over and he looked about him for Faith. Where was the Slayer? Relief settled over him as he saw her battling a group of ... 'what the devil? Men?' He shook his head again and focused. Well, they definitely looked like men although dressed in what appeared to be black combat uniforms. He felt his vision getting fuzzy and concentrating very hard, he focused on the scene blurring before him, but his eyelids seemed so very heavy. He was so tired. How? When had he become so fatigued? No, he was ... where did they ... ground so cold ... Faith, must help Faith ... So tired ... Druggg...
Faith hadn't sensed them. She'd caught a movement, a noise just before they appeared. Then the dart had hit Giles in the back and he'd dropped to the floor like a rock. They were human. She was pretty damn sure of that; trained, fit and deliberate, but human. The second dart had only just missed her.
Instinct took over and she moved to protect Giles. Not sure what these men were after but positive that she wasn't going to let them do anything more to hurt the man now lying unconscious behind her, she watched two of them exchange a brief glance before charging her, keeping some two or three feet between them. They obviously intended to reach her at the same time hoping to force her to take them on individually. Faith smiled "Gee, this is gonna be fun."
Waiting until the last possible moment to drop, she rolled between them. Quickly regaining her feet, Faith launched herself onto her hands to kick out behind her, planting her feet powerfully into the small of each attacker's back. Their momentum now being used against them, the pair stumbled forward flailing in their vain attempts to keep upright. They traveled some six or seven feet before the pain from her well planted kicks traveled to their legs causing them to fall flat on their faces.
Turning to confront the duo, she felt a giant pair of arms dropping around her from behind. Again Faith dropped, this time into the splits turning her head to look with evil glee at the crotch of her attacker. At first Faith dropped her fist to the floor and looked up thoughtfully. But then the decision made, she ferociously launched her fist upwards towards that 'oh so tender' male zone.
A muffled high pitched curse escaped from her would-be attacker as he quickly dropped his arms in a belated attempt to defend himself. Seeing that he was severely distracted, Faith threw her torso away from him to allow her to fiercely bring her legs together, effectively chopping his ankles out from under him and hurling him backwards.
Regaining her feet, she heard a groan. Giles? Faith moved quickly towards the Watcher, all the while alert and preparing for another attack. Glancing down at the fallen man before her, Faith satisfied herself that he was still breathing. "Damn it," Faith cursed as she attempted to figure out why every Watcher she really liked and trusted had to get hurt on her shift? Recalling how her first watcher had died, anger rose within her but she quickly took a moment to swallow the growing blind fury that would come if she allowed this rage to take her over. Turning her back to Giles, she prepared to confront their attackers ... "Hey?" she yelled in surprise as she realized they were not where she had expected them to be.
A movement caught her eye. Some twenty feet away four men were helping their three injured associates towards a black transit van. Her instinct was to follow them but the sound of another groan from behind her caused her to pause and reconsider her options. 'Giles needs help — now.'
She watched the men load themselves into the van with several backwards glances. "Yeah, I'm letting you go ... for now ... and you know it." Faith watched only briefly as the sliding door closed on the huddled group, and the van sped away.
Dropping to the side of her second Watcher, she glared accusingly at the dart that still protruded from between Giles' shoulder blades. "Hey Giles, don't you know it's rude to fall asleep on a date?" Faith gibed as she removed the dart and rolled him over.
Giles forced his way through the fog, willing his eyes open. There was something that he needed to know.
Faith saw his eyelids flutter. He was still fighting the drug. Then briefly his eyes opened and he fixed his gaze on her. "Are you oka..." he mumbled.
Stunned, she nodded.
Giles smiled briefly before falling unconscious again.
A feeling rose within the ex-slayer, so unfamiliar and yet so welcome. She took a deep breath, blinking away a little moisture from her eyes in disbelief. "Damn it! I will not ... cry. Christ, what the hell am I turning into?" Faith berated herself, shaking her head vigorously. "Get over it, girl."
Looking at the fallen Watcher, she reached down and gently lifted him up and over her shoulder. "I got your back, Watcher," she commented as she slowly headed across the cemetery towards the Magic Box.
*************************BtVS*************************
Opening her emails, Willow sighed — Nothing. She'd been hoping that Kira would have left her a message, if only to fire a thousand questions at her about the last night. Her shoulders sagged as she realized she had no one to talk to, no one to confide in or bounce ideas off of.
The one person she would normally run to, was the one person she couldn't talk to — not about this. Even though she was right there - in the same room, just a few feet away, sitting on the window sill, trying to look like watching the world go by was a full time job.
Normally she would have pulled Buffy; called her on her silence; made her talk it out - But not tonight. Everything that had happened between them sat like a big pink elephant in the middle of the room and neither one of them seemed able to maneuver their way around it. 'Elephants - why would anyone invent an elephant? Huge ears — never a good look, a hose for a nose and four knees - I mean four!! Makes jumping impossible. Good thing they don't need to jump', Willow's mind rambled as she continued her rant against the inventor of the elephant.
Sitting up at her PC, she opened an internet connection and, pulling down her favorites, she located the online coven. She mentally crossed her fingers as she entered the coven's forum. 'Please let someone be on-line', she quietly prayed.
The first topic that caught her eye caused her to mentally gulp — "Curse or Blessing?" It seemed that their predicament was a hot topic. 'Oh Kira, how could you?' She hesitated for a moment before she decided to click and open the topic.
She began to read with dread and disbelief.
Cassy:
< Believe it or not I was discussing Kira's idea for breaking the curse in question with my mother. We were talking about the various ways a relationship can begin over dinner tonight. Of course B & W came up. She loves tuning in to their souls - they're so old.
Anyway, she asked me if there was any one optimum moment that I could pick from the list where I could almost guarantee the coming together of these two souls.
Whether it be a kiss, an intimate moment or just plain rocking each other's worlds. It took me quite a while to go over all the different choices in my head. To the point that my mother got annoyed and went on to extol the wonderful virtues of massage and oils, and to blast the fact that massage wasn't on the list!!
So how about you guys, what one moment would you pick? >
Ang:
< I really like this post. You actually discuss this stuff over the dinner table with your mother?? Cause that is really cool!
Anyway, getting back to the topic. My one moment would be "post-list". Lying quietly in bed together in the after-glow. They are so connected and at that moment I'm sure they really would have shared something that could only serve to bring them closer together. >
Hammy:
< Okay. And what flights of fancy have robbed you both of your reason? I feel duty bound to pull you back to earth, you romantic sodden wenches. You both seem to have overlooked the one really important thing Cassy's admittedly really cool mother said. Or have you both thrown away your reason?
"Massage wasn't on the list!!"
Which I thought would surely lead even the weakest witted of us to ask — what else is missing? But instead what do I see — romantic avarice run wild. Try to keep it together girls.
So suggestions required. All ideas that you feel were missing from the list will be taken under consideration.
Anything goes. >
"Oh goddess," Willow exclaimed as she stared wide-eyed at the multitude of suggestions that flowed in response to Hammy's new question. Until finally Hammy took great pleasure at posting - the 'New List'. Hearing movement behind her, Willow quickly dragged her cursor over the list, copying it. Closing her forum session, she opened Microsoft word and pasted in the New List. There was just no way in this twisted dimension, she could let Buffy read the coven's topic postings in full — the 'New List' was bad enough.
"Is that what I think it is?" Buffy asked disbelief apparent in her voice.
"Nu — huh," Willow responded.
"New?"
"Yep," Willow agreed, hitting .
Confused, Buffy couldn't keep herself from asking, "Why?"
"Stuff ... stuff was ... there were ... things ... you know... missing ... things left out. When Kira wrote..." Willow really didn't want to be explaining this. She had hoped that this topic was closed, finished, gone, no more. After everything that they had been through, after all that had happened - the pleasure, the pain, the joy, the loss. Now there was going to be more.
"But we followed ... we did everything on the ... If they missed ... if they left things out ... then we ... " Buffy struggled to voice her thoughts. "We missed them when we ..."
"I'm right there with you. It seems we didn't do it ... right ... o-o-or completely," Willow stated unable to turn her head and look at Buffy. She had never really wanted to fall down a deep, dark hole quite as much as she did at this moment. Instead she watched the paper slowly emerge from her printer.
"Well, you could have fooled me. I thought we did it mega right," Buffy commented, a small smile beginning to form before she could stop herself. "I mean ... are they sure? I mean, what the hell didn't we ..." Buffy began to feel heat rising in her cheeks. 'This is ridiculous. Of course we did it right. If that wasn't right ... if we didn't ... My god, what else is there?' she unconsciously licked her lips as she recalled the many new, wonderful and intoxicating experiences Willow had blessed her with last night - her mind almost imploding at the thought that there was more.
Willow reached down and pulled the still warm hard copy from the printer tray. Lifting her arm without turning, she raised it within reach of Buffy. "Here."
Buffy took the sheet of paper as she stared at Willow's beautiful profile. Then she shook her head and looked at the piece of paper. Realizing what she was looking at, she raised the sheet and began to read. Running her eyes down the list, she mentally ticked off the items they had ... experienced until she was about half way down.
If Willow had been watching her, she would have seen a smile cross Buffy's face as she continued to read the list. However, the last two items quickly removed her smile, as her jaw dropped and her slight blush blossomed into a flaming red mask. Buffy, let her hand drop as she felt the heat beginning to rise within her, mainly because of the images now crowding into her mind but also because of the conversation she knew could no longer be avoided.
"You see they ... missed stuff ..." Willow reiterated.
"Kinda!" Buffy exclaimed acknowledging the truth of that statement while fighting to regain her self-control. Her mind seemed to be spinning off ... 'What did this mean? Would they have to ... would she get to hold and kiss ... would they ... could they?'
Willow finally shifted in her seat and raised her face to look at Buffy. What she saw wasn't really unexpected. 'She embarrassed. Goodness, I can't think why ... oh yeah — the New List. Was she trying to figure out what it meant? Was she going to say it or would she ... oh no. She's going to make me say it.'
"We did it wrong," Buffy whispered. "Anya is so gonna love that," she commented, despair covering her still red features.
Willow suddenly felt nervous. 'Why did she say that? Anya said this was my area of expertise ... Oh no, she thinks it's my fault ... that I did it ... No! She couldn't think that I ... I would never ... not on purpose. She has to know I would never ...'
Buffy looked down at Willow and seeing the wrinkled brow and concerned look, she thought 'Oh great she's freaked. The idea of doing it ... of making ... it freaks her out. Was I really that bad? Was it really so hard for her to ... ' Such pain filled her chest, her heart.
Willow saw the switch from amused embarrassment to fear and shrank back. "Buffy, I know you think it's my fault ..."
Buffy shook her head, not quite sure what Willow had just said. "What?"
Taking a deep breath Willow prepared herself but a resounding ping from her PC made her turn her head. the disembodied voice advised her. Before her flashed her new mail notifier identifying the source of the email:
***********************BtVS****************************
Faith lowered Giles gently to the pavement, resting his head against the door jam of the Magic Box. She looked around nervously as she searched his pockets. 'Great, I look like I'm mugging him.' Finding his keys, she unlocked the shop door and quickly moved him inside. Faith was overwhelmed with the feeling that she was invading some inner sanctum. The Magic shop was, after all, the center of the Scooby gang's universe.
Resting Giles on a pile of Moroccan cushions, she returned to lock the shop door. Having secured their hiding place, she finally relaxed and took a good look at Scooby central. It was larger than she had realized. Much larger. "Some square footage you have here, Watcher," she commented, noting the split level and roomy feel of the shop. Moving forward she searched for somewhere safer to leave Giles. She really didn't want to meet up with any of the Scoobies right now, which was why she had chosen to leave Giles in the shop. The fact that they would never believe that she'd had nothing to do with the Watcher's present condition made that decision easy.
As she searched she made mental notes and dismissed the basement and the counter area behind the cash register. Then she came across the training room. Faith looked around the room with both envy and respect. The Watcher and his charge obviously took their calling as seriously as ever. She'd have loved to have a place like th — 'Who am I kidding? I'd take a lease on this right now. Wonder why Angel hasn't ever invested in a real training room like this? Isn't LA supposed to be "gym" and "workout" central?'
Moving to the door at the rear she checked the bolt locks and, giving the door a good kick, she satisfied herself that it was secure. Spotting the training mats and the high frosted windows, she decided that this was probably the safest area in the shop.
**************************BtVS************************
Willow stared at the screen both relieved and embarrassed. Many of the new items were well out of her realm of knowledge, let alone experience. And if, as it seemed they were out of Kira's, what help did she hope to be?
Buffy stared at Willow as the witch seemed engrossed in her PC. She'd read Kira's email over Willow's shoulder and suddenly realized that the New List she had just read hadn't come from Kira. Where had Willow got it from? She wanted to ask but Willow didn't really appear to feel all open and ready for a Q and A session.
Anyway she wasn't in any condition to ask questions since she felt like she was actually buzzing at the thought of another hot and steamy night with her beloved. But it didn't seem as though Willow felt the same way if their argument in the training room, which had led to her own sudden exit, was any indication. She had hoped that Willow would have had time, by now, to realize how much her words had hurt her; had time to realize that Buffy hadn't wanted rejection; had time to realize that what she had wanted was for Tara's words to be true. But Willow hadn't spoken more than dozen words to her, let alone looked her in the eye since she'd finally come home.
'Am I pushing? Did I make it too obvious? Am I freaking her out? Is that why she's hardly looking at me?' Buffy wondered, remembering Faith's smug face as the other slayer had tried to bait her. It was as if she had known that Buffy was screwing up. She'd never felt so lost, so unable to see what had to be done. 'What should I do? What would be best? For Willow? For me? For us?' She just couldn't seem to get out of this awkward and uncomfortable corner she had boxed herself into. And she couldn't go to the one person she always knew that she could go to when she felt at a loss.
She wanted Willow. Her very being ached to cross the distance between them and take what she wanted; what she needed. But as she had begun to realize that Willow was pulling away from her, and that she didn't know why, all her usual self-confidence seemed to leave her. Buffy's innate knowledge that she, herself, was easy on the eyes; her belief in her ability to attract others to her faded away before the intensity of her need and just how vulnerable that made her feel.
Okay. She hadn't always chosen wisely but, as a rule, anyone Buffy had set her ex-cheerleader, ex-prom queen sights on, she had gotten. What was she doing wrong? All she seemed able to get from Willow was dutiful friendship and support when she wanted so much more. It seemed that the one person that she thought she knew best and wanted so much was the one person she now couldn't figure out how to reach.
************************BtVS**********************
Xander placed the last spoonful of Ben & Jerry's into his mouth and sighed as the cold ice-cream melted, assaulting his taste buds with Phish Food heaven. Life was good.
"You've got it all over your face," Anya pointed out from her prone position.
"If you don't get some on your face you're not really enjoying it," Xander explained, licking his tongue as far around his lips as he could. Inexplicably his mind skipped and the image of Willow between Buffy's ... 'Where the hell did that co ... OH!' Shaking his head he tried to get rid of the image. But instead a large dollop of Phish Food suddenly plopped between them ... 'OH! Bad. Bad.'
"Xander?" Anya scolded with the almost certainty of a girlfriend who knew her man too well.
"Wha ... Oh yeah. Sorry," Xander said, shaking his head again as he removed the dessert spoon and can of whipped cream from the bed, and tried to rid himself of the erotic pictures in his mind.
"Good. Because I have an itch," Anya informed him.
Xander raised his eyebrow in rakish hope. 'It's not like Anya to use an innuendo? She usually comes just right out with ... but hey,' he thought turning expectantly towards her. Immediately he saw his mistake. Anya's face was not that of a woman in need of sex; it was the look of a woman with a very distracting and annoying itch. Dropping his silly grin, he patiently took instruction as Anya led his fingers to the cause of her itchy distraction. Finally he was rewarded with a contented sigh. Dismissing him, Anya repositioned herself to sleep and Xander turned to set his alarm.
"You're working tomorrow?" Anya questioned. "But I'm not well. I've been wounded."
"Yes honey, I know. But that's where the money comes from. The money that pays the rent, buys the food and all the pretty things," Xander pointed out.
"Good. I will need many nice things to distract me from the pain ... and the itch," Anya stated. Then something else seemed to occur to her. "But if the world is going to end - why bother?"
"Thank you, harbinger of doom. Please deposit your perishable items in the green box at the door. The world is not going to end, Anya. Buffy will stop it. She always does. Remember? We save the world. Then we get to party. But we can't tell anyone that we've saved the world — again," Xander reminds her.
"You don't save the world. We don't save the world. Buffy does that. We just stand on the side lines, occasionally getting injured or amusingly taken over by some evil being," Anya reminded him. "We're like the guys in the red suits."
Xander's brow furrowed; his face a picture of confusion. Too slow to stop himself, he responded to her statement with a "Huh?"
"You know, the guys in the red suits who never survive an away mission, or who get changed into aliens or rocks or small furry annoying bunny-like creatures. We're like them ... only we don't die," Anya explained. But upon glancing at the still confused look on Xander's face, she continued "Instead we — the sidekicks - get injured, insulted, forced to have virginal sex with insect women, get attacked by troll ex-boyfriends, get taken over by Hyenas. We never get to save the world. See it's like the guys in the red suits ... everyone knows we're going to get hurt and need saving. We need to be like the girls in the short skirts. They get to moon over the captain and hold clip boards."
Xander's eyes opened wide as he realized that she's going on about "Star Trek! Red shirts!" he exclaimed. 'Geez, how did I not get that?' he wondered. Smirking he gave thanks to the Powers That Be for a woman who made Star Trek references. Now if only he could get her into Babylon Five. Grabbing the bull by the horns, he smiled before responding "Okay, so we always survive? Then by your argument we always return for more — hence the world can not end because if the world ends we die and since we don't die and we always come back for more — the world will not end," Xander pointed out, satisfied that his logic was flawless.
Anya glared at him and he could almost see her searching for a hole in his logic. Then it occurred to him that although there might not be a hole in his logic at the moment, their vulnerability and mortality — including Buffy's — might be not always assure their survival.
*************************BtVS************************
Willow wanted to be sucked into her PC, to vanish into the world of chips, megabytes and logic. Then she could allow programming to replace the fear she could feel rising within her. She wanted pure logic right now, to control her emotions and prevent her from making any foolish decisions or voicing the cause of her heartache and true feelings. She didn't think she could do it again. It would be like ... torture. Slowly the images she had stored of Buffy from last night filled her head. She gulped as the desire began to rise within her - the feel of her, the taste, the way she moved, 'Oh goddess!' She felt the hunger fill her, the heat begin to rise, the fear, the longing ... Bad, bad.
"Will, I know this won't be easy ... for either of us. But if it works ...," Buffy stated, her voice breaking through the panic that had started to wash over Willow.
Buffy was at her side, reading the PC over her shoulder. She had forgotten that her best friend was standing near her reading the Forum's list. Concentrating on what Buffy had actually said, she realized that the decision had been taken from her and she was inwardly relieved.
"What else can we do?" Buffy asked.
She glanced at the resolve she saw before her and thought 'Oh goddess, why is she asking me ... Get a grip, will you? She's only suggesting what she hopes will end this,' she told herself
Willow involuntarily shook her head, "I don't know."
"You know we have to try. Please, Will? Don't make me ..." Buffy paused, her voice a little shaken. 'Is she going to make me beg?' Buffy discarded the thought. "I don't want to force you to ... Will, you must realize how hard this is for me. If we don't try ... Life as we know it ... pretty much a goner," Buffy stated. Taking a deep breath, she continued "I've gotten used to us ... our lives. I'm not really willing to give them up just yet. Let's face facts, they may be crazy but our lives are never dull."
Willow couldn't help smirking at the truth of Buffy's statement. "I'm just... worried. We've ... well kinda imploded today, after ... You're my best friend. I don't want to lose ... What if it doesn't work?" Willow stumbled, almost choking as she dropped her head and tried to hold back the tears.
"Hey," Buffy said, reaching out to lift her chin and looking deep into Willow's beautiful eyes. Although it was like looking into her own eyes, she felt as if she could see into her best friend's soul. "Never gonna happen," she said allowing some of how she felt to show. "I would never let anything break us up. Never!" she stated with such conviction that Willow had no doubt that she meant every word.
************************BtVS***************
A sharp shrill ringing broke into Xander's mind. 'No — too soon,' he thought, certain he had only just put his head on the pillow. Reaching out he hit his alarm. But the annoying ringing didn't stop. 'Telephone,' he reasoned.
Forcing himself up, he moved out of the bedroom closing the door behind him. Lifting the receiver, he ran his free hand through his hair in a vain attempt to wake up. "Hello."
"Hey there, boy toy," an all too-familiar voice greeted him. "Giles is okay. He's been drugged. But he's okay. I've left him in the Magic shop and locked it up behind me. He should be safe. I've just popped the keys into your mailbox. Someone needs to check on him and get him home."
Xander tried to take the words in but his mind was simply a jumble of questions. 'Why the hell is Faith calling me? Where did she get my number? What has she done to Giles?' However "What?" was all he could manage.
"Okay Dweeb Boy, listen up. Giles has been drugged — he's unconscious but okay. I've locked him in the magic box for his own safety. The keys are in your mailbox. Go check on him and get him home. OK?" Faith asked, the frustrated amusement clear in her tone. She really wasn't a fan of having to repeat herself.
"How ... ?" Xander began to ask when the line went dead. It seemed that telephone etiquette was one of the many things Faith had considered a waste of her time. Now completely awake he stared at the receiver and tried to fully grasp what she had said. 'Giles! I've got to get dressed.' Replacing the receiver he moved towards the bedroom door. Suddenly stopping he stared at the door. 'What the hell do I tell Anya?'
**************************BtVS******************
Somehow starting was harder this time. They had agreed to use darkness again. And hoping to make things easier, Kira had suggested they take advantage of the darkness to undress this time. But scooting under the covers, they had both found that traveling those last two feet was harder to handle and more embarrassing than the lengthy email conversation they had only recently finished with Kira.
Buffy had disappeared to have a shower once most of information had been clarified with Kira. She'd needed to collect herself but all that seemed a waste of time as she now lie not quite sure how to move forward.
'Oh goddess, I'm here again,' Willow's brain screamed as she felt the rush of air when Buffy scooted under the bedcovers and quickly lowered them. The knowledge that Buffy was ... well ... not dressed and so close ... caused a nervous giggle to escape from the wiccan.
Buffy couldn't help giggling in relief and mutual agreement at the awkward silliness of this. Why were they both holding back? Why couldn't they just relax and let go? It wasn't as if they hadn't done this before. And then she recalled the new list. 'Oh yeah!' Willow had made it very clear she was now out of her depth, out of her "knowledge base". 'She's nervous and upset.' Buffy realized, allowing her natural instinct to protect her best friend take over, she forced herself to make the first move.
Moving slowly towards Willow, she reminded herself that 'if this is it ... if this is the last time I'll ever get to be with her ... I'm not going to waste so much as a second. I'm going to show her just how she makes me feel ... how much she means to me. How can that be bad? Nope, no one could ever take that as a bad. I know I wouldn't,' she slowly convinced herself. A newfound confidence filled her. She had a plan. Not her favorite kind of plan because this could very well be a hopeless cause. But they had been through so many other hopeless situations together and had come through them somehow. She had to hope that maybe she could seduce the love of her life. At the very least she had to try. But whatever happened she was going to hold and kiss and taste and caress her Willow and remember every last moment. And hopefully make Willow remember every single moment too.
Hearing a sharp intake of breath from Willow as their skin met, she instinctively reached out to calm her beloved. "Will, it's just me," she whispered with a trace of uncertainty and nervousness still evident in her tone, despite having steeled herself to take that first step. Swallowing Buffy took a chance. "It's just us ... and I ... I ... I know what you said earlier but ... I ..." She took a deep breath before finally voicing her true feelings. "I really liked the us that I met last night."
Willow's mind seemed to explode as she caught the meaning of the words Buffy had stumbled over as her hand had slowly stroked Willow's shoulder. They sounded like the most beautiful words she had ever heard. 'Did she just say ... Oh! ... she did ... she wasn't ... faking.' Her fear melted and she found herself smirking before she realized that Buffy had stopped moving. 'She's waiting for me to respond.' "M ... me t ... too," she whispered not trusting herself to say anything more.
"I'm glad," Buffy sighed. It was going to be okay. 'I can do this.' She moved her hand, placing it gently behind Willow and drawing herself closer with each contact sending warmth and heat up and down her entire body ... her entire being.
Tentatively, Willow ran her hands down Buffy's back causing her to arch, pushing her firm breasts forward into Willow's. 'Oh ... so soft.' Reaching down, she paused before running her nails over Buffy's bottom causing their hips to meet. 'Please let her be mine,' Willow chanted to herself. She needed to believe; she needed to hope that this was more --- more than just ... sex.
Sensing a hesitation as Willow's hands stilled, Buffy ran hers hand up to the nape of Willow's neck. Running her fingers up through Willow's hair she closed her eyes before whispering with all the emotion that she was feeling, "Willow?"
Willow felt her heart stop and then explode in happiness. She had never heard anyone say her name like that. So full of ... desire. Willow, in that moment, wished more than anything that she had left the lights on so that she could see; so that she could know if what she had heard in that one word ... her own name ... was true. She could almost feel Buffy's breath as she continued to graze her nails over Buffy's back. Moving slowly forward their noses met ... rubbing ... Eskimo-style kissing. Oh, so gently.
Willow licked her lips in anticipation of their kiss but Buffy didn't move forward. It seemed to be her turn again. So searching gently, she moved closer so that she could run the tip of her tongue against Buffy's soft lower lip. Buffy's eyes flew open at the touch of Willow's warm tongue and her attention immediately focused. She needed to kiss Willow. She needed to. Right now!
As their lips met, the events of the day evaporated. This was where Buffy was meant to be ... losing herself in the warm welcome of her Willow. How had she ever doubted that this was who she was meant to be with? That this was how she was meant to be. 'No way am I giving this woman up.' A guttural sigh left her as she gently pushed Willow onto her back. Ignoring the pain in her knee, Buffy rolled atop the woman she had been in love with for so long, as she made a decision. Willow had led the way last night. 'Wow, had she ever.' But tonight, tonight Buffy would take the reins. She had sensed the nervousness in her secret sweetheart and she knew that there was no way that Willow, her sweet gentle Willow, could initiate some of the ... items they had to explore. But her mind had exploded at the idea of knowing Willow in ways that no one else had ever known her. She would be the first. She would take what Willow had taught her. She would bewitch her beautiful witch and take her Willow to places she had only imagined.
"Tonight you're mine," she stated, her voice low ... almost a growl.
Willow shook her head in disbelief. Her mouth agape, she stared above her. Buffy was ... 'She seems to ... want ... me?' Buffy took advantage of the moment and stole her way into Willow's open mouth.
Willow could feel her head spinning as the sweet ecstasy of the moment, the feelings and sensations flooded over her. Buffy had come to her — again. She had been the one to touch first last night as well. Why had she forgotten that? 'Oh ... she feels so good.' Feeling heat explode between her legs, she broke the kiss to gasp as she felt Buffy's thigh graze her, sending a shot of excitement to the back of her brain. 'Oh ... too soon ... too sensitive.'
Willow tried to steady the pace ... to keep control but she was underneath. Somehow Buffy was ... she was ... in control. How ... when had she become so ...? The urgency of her kisses ... Willow tried to slow the kisses down, to still the sexual heat that was rising ... filling her but Buffy wasn't so easily stopped. She seemed determined to devour Willow, to strip away all sense with those soft, hot lips and that tongue. She needed to slow this down, she tried to roll, but Buffy dropped to her elbows ... preventing that and pinning Willow beneath her. 'What the ... what have I created?' she wondered as again she felt Buffy's thigh touch her ... 'Oh no! Og ... ooohgoddess ... so good.' She had never felt the heat rise between her legs so quickly ... so intensely. She had to ... breathe.
She tried to keep hold of the thought but Buffy was above her ... pressing her hips down, slowly gyrating, pressing against her ... invading her mouth, skillfully plunging her tongue back and forth as she slowly moved her shoulders to massage their breasts together, keeping a rhythm that was driving Willow up and down against her. It was all too much ... too soon. 'Where had she learned how to ... Oh. Oh! Leg ... legs were moving ... rubbing.' Willow could feel the wetness beginning to trickle between her ... 'so good, it feels so good.'
Buffy could feel a hunger rising within her as she moved to the rhythm of her need. She might not have her slayer strength at the moment but she certainly had the slayer lust. She could feel Willow rising to meet her, struggling to hold back. "Oh no you don't, my red-haired beauty." She dropped her thigh between her love's legs. They had been slow and careful last night. Tonight she wanted to have passion, hunger ... insatiable thirst and then the quenching of that thirst. Moving her thigh up, she thought she felt ... Oh yeah! Her mind exploded in the knowledge that Willow was becoming wet. Wet because of her - for her.
Dragging her mouth from Willow's, Buffy arched to press her thigh firmly against Willow's wet centre.
"Ahhhh," Willow exclaimed as she felt a wonderful ache rise within her.
Buffy moved up and down, her thigh brushing firmly against Willow, slowly covering her thigh with the wetness that was now oozing from between Willow's legs. The sensation spurred her to pick up the rhythm, pushing, rubbing, faster, harder until ... "Oh Yes." She felt her thigh slide and Willow clench to trap it and stop its upward rise. 'Yes.' Breathing deeply, Buffy moved down Willow's body to get herself between Willow's legs. She needed to know ...
Willow's head was spinning. She'd never ... not so quickly. Trying to collect her thoughts and regain her breath, she realized that Buffy was no longer on top of her. Then she felt ... 'Oh my ... If she ... Ohh goddess, I've died and gone to heaven.' A thousand dreams had led her here but she'd never dreamed or hoped they would ever come true.
Slowly Buffy took in the sweet scent around her. Hesitantly, she settled herself. She wanted to do this well. She wanted to show Willow what she had learned, what she could offer. Buffy wanted to shatter her hold, just as Willow had done for her the night before. Slowly she brushed her tongue over the wet folds before her. 'Beautiful. So wet, like silk, so soft, so warm.' She was glad that they were in the dark, not all thoughts that they were still in each other's bodies had been dismissed from her mind. But she wanted to see Willow beneath her in her mind's eye. She ventured into every fold, listening with satisfaction to the change in Willow's breathing, the rise and fall of her hips, the thrusting of her hips, the noises she was making. She drank, attempting to quench the fire rising within her.
Willow threw her hands down to hold Buffy's head, unsure what she wanted - to pull her away or pull her closer. Sweet madness seemed to have robbed her of the ability to think as a thousand sweet shocks rocked her world. She tried vainly to hold herself back, to save something, but each touch stripped away her resolve until she found herself willingly climbing, rising, arching and aching for release.
"Oh please, I can't ..." Willow wanted to so badly, but ...
Buffy opened her mouth, "Mmmm, mmmmm", taking in the now prominent bud before her, taking and holding it gently between her teeth, she furiously ran her tongue over it.
"Ahhhh ... noooooo." Willow arched and tried to close her legs. But Buffy didn't stop - instead she moved her hand to run her fingers up and down Willow's wetness. Then slowly she ran it down between her cheeks, gently working her way towards Willows virgin entrance, causing another sharp attempt to close her legs.
Lifting her mouth, she gently pulled at the now gorged bud.
"OOOOOhhhhhh......" Willow felt herself lose all control as her body seemed to spasm and shudder. Buffy chose that moment to gently push her lubricated finger into Willow's forbidden entrance - at first only one knuckle deep. "Ooooohhh ahhh." Willow's brain broke into a light show she had never imagined possible.
As she felt Willow relax into her orgasm, Buffy moved another knuckle in and then another until her entire finger was inside. Slowly she curled it towards her, dragging it in and out slowly as she dropped her mouth back over Willow's bud. Buffy ran her tongue over her beloved's folds savoring each ejaculation as she moved down to run her tongue around the juices now flowing from Willow. Then she plunged her tongue in lapping, drinking, and swallowing the sweet essence that was the core of her beloved.
Willow's world had become a feast of pleasure - sensual and mind blowing passion, her logic nonexistent, her control shattered. All she could see were the waves of pleasure as they swept over her. Buffy was opening her up, laying her wide, removing all that she could hide behind ... seeing her, loving her. Fear should have been her first reaction but it was lost, drowned under the need, the hunger that Buffy had shown her.
Passion threw forward arms, thighs, lips, tongues. Willow a willing and complaint guest as Buffy led her into new erotic worlds and sinfully blissful feelings, teasing feeding and expanding her desire in ways she had never thought possible. Willow became wanton, greedy and verbally demanding, leaving Buffy in no doubt that tonight she was not alone in her insatiable need.
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Having retrieved the magic shop key from his mail box, Xander had left his 'too wounded to move' and 'is this another custom you're going to need to explain to me? Ex-girlfriends can ring you at unearthly hours, drop curses into the middle of our lives and you go running?' Anya to her own devices.
Driving to the magic shop (let's face it walking at this time of night was like turning yourself into a traveling buffet for any Vamp on the prowl), Xander thought about Anya's comments; it was like all his chickens - good and bad were coming home to roost! Cordelia, Faith, Willow & Buffy and memories of the disastrous love spell he had forced Amy to cast washed over him, sending a cold chill down his spine.
Slamming the car door and locking it, he moved quickly to the shop door - opening, closing and locking it with more concentration than usual. After a brief pause to satisfy himself that he was safe, he wandered through the shop fully prepared to see an unconscious and possibly injured Giles leaning against a wall but upon opening the training room door, he stopped in his tracks. He stood and stared in disbelief at the scene before him.
Giles was comfortably curled up on one of the training mats, his head on what looked like one of the Moroccan cushions that Anya kept wanting to bring home. The older man appeared to be covered with an old dust sheet and the wizard's cape he had used during the Magic shop's grand opening sale! He looked like a cast-off from some Merlin 'B'-movie with his hair tussled, in sleepy repose, beneath his wizard garb.
Xander spotted that Giles' glasses had been neatly placed inside one of his shoes, which were tidily positioned on the floor beside him, along with a glass of water. "Well I'll be. Looks like Faith had a 'Florence Nightingale nurse' moment." Quickly he stored the image of Faith in a skimpy nurse's uniform for later use.
A smirk crossed Xander's face as he heard the faint snoring coming from the unconscious Watcher. He was tempted to go and find the big Wizard's pointy hat that he had seen Giles wear that first day at the Magic Shop, and then find a camera to save the scene for posterity. But damn it he was getting too old for that.
But he suddenly realized that after receiving Faith's call, he hadn't really expected to find Giles harmed at all. Strangely he had trusted that if Faith said the Watcher was okay, then he was. This puzzled him. He had never been really big with the trust and Faith ... well hey, not even small on the trust when it came to the dark-haired Slayer. Not the Faith he used to know anyway.
Kneeling down next to Giles, Xander attempted to wake him. "Giles, Hey G-man?" He called poking at the Watcher's shoulder. A muffled moan was all the response he got. "Giles! C'mon. Buffy's waiting," he tried. Nothing.
Standing up he looked around and seeing the glass of water, a thought took shape and a smirk appear on his face. "You're really not gonna like this much G-man. But there's no way I can carry you home." Reaching down he lifted the glass while at the same time noticing that protruding from the other shoe was a dart! Ignoring this, Xander dipped his fingers into the water and flicked droplets at Giles, causing a slight reaction. But still no eye movement. "Aww hell." He placed the glass above Giles' head and tipped it.
******************************BtVS************************
Willow lay in total wonder over what had happened. She couldn't believe Buffy had spread her sooo ... made her sooo wet. The new list had been a revelation but what had shocked her to the core was that she had reveled in it, allowing Buffy to take her ... in oh so many ways -- and so completely. Yet she didn't feel dirty or evil or bad. She felt alive, more alive than she had in a very long time.
She had always trusted Buffy but this had been different. It had been as if her very soul had been in the Slayer's hands. It was as if there was nothing about her that Buffy didn't know, hadn't touched or caressed. The things she had yelled, the way she had begged!! She hadn't known she could be so wanton, so demanding, so vocal.
She could almost still feel Buffy inside her, filling her, feeding her need. But in reality Buffy was beside her, letting out short breaths and still holding her as if she was stopping one of them from floating away.
Willow's head was so light, her mind so open and yet so filled. Feelings bursting from her heart, leaking, exploding. She was so filled with emotions, pushing so hard against her skin. She needed to release. She needed to sing, scream; to somehow let it out. Slowly she felt tears of bliss, of joy beginning to escape. 'Oh my.' She couldn't hold them back. Instead a whimper escaped, then a stifled sob as the longing and release came together.
Buffy heard Willow's quiet sobs. She was crying? Tightening her hold, remorse filled the Slayer with dread. Had she gone too far? Had she hurt her Willow? She felt shame and guilt wash over her. She was terrified that she had been so caught up in exploring the new and wonderful pleasures that had she missed something. She'd thought 'Oh goddess'. "Will, what's wrong?" Pain shot through her heart at the sound of another muffled sob. "Did I hurt you? Oh Will, I'm so sorry. Oh Baby, I wouldn't hurt you for the world."
"No ... you didn't, I'm just ... " Willow couldn't find the words.
"Will?" Buffy prompted; still not sure she could believe her.
"It was ... I've never ... felt so open, so ... no one. I didn't think I could stop ..." she said, recalling how often she had come, how wet, the way she had flooded. Her voice was unable to keep up with her thoughts and emotions.
"It's okay. I'm here," Buffy assured her, hugging her tightly, realizing and relieved that she hadn't hurt her beloved. Willow was in shock but it was a good shock. It was fed by the wonder of what they had done. "It was new for me too but baby ... it was amazing, wonderful. You were fantastic. And you are so beautiful."
Willow smiled and closed her eyes forcing herself to enjoy the compliments. Her instinct was to turn away, not sure how to respond. How could she say ...? She so wanted to tell her ... to let her know. "I ... you were incredible. It was unforgettable ... I will never ... oh Buffy ..." Suddenly she collapsed into full blown tears and racking sobs as she realized that this wouldn't happen again ... unless she ... the fear returned.
"Will, I know. I will ... it was so special. The way you let me ... I could stay like this forever. I wish the world would just stop," Buffy said, her heart reaching out to the love of her life. Tightening her embrace she gently brushed her lips against Willow's shoulder.
"M...m...me too," Willow responded as she treasured Buffy's words and the tingles from her light kiss. 'Oh please mean that ... I so want it to be true.' If only she could know ... if only she could be sure.
*****************************BtVS*********************************
Dear All,
We wanted to stop for a moment and take this opportunity to send all of you loyal Switcheroony readers our heartfelt thanks. We are very grateful for all of your support and encouragement. Knowing that you are reading and interested enough to take the time to share your kind words and reviews really has kept us writing.
"Thank you" does not seem sufficient but these two words hold more meaning, joy and gratitude than they may appear to reveal. Need we say that our readers have become very important to us both.
So if sometimes it appears as though the conclusion is far away, please be patient, enjoy the story and rest assured that we look forward to finishing this journey with you [our dear readers] and our beloved characters.
We eagerly anticipate your future reviews and comments as the story continues towards its... dare we say... conclusion! But then we hope that you will join us in our future journeys with Buffy, Willow, and the rest of the gang.
Yours truly and in appreciation,
Alicorn and Lilly [Treasure]