New In Town
by Salix
When Angels Cry
[reviews]
Buffy walked into school that morning in a very great mood. She was almost bouncing she was so happy and excited. Today was just a great day, and she was anticipating it to be just that. Today was a special day for her, and she wasn't going to let anyone put a damper on it. As she walked by the other students in the hall they all looked at her kind of funny. Buffy was never happy on a Monday morning. Grouchy and mean, yes, but never so happy that she was...skipping? What the hell was up?
She made her way out to the quad, in search of Willow. For the last three weeks the redhead had been going to school early so that she can help Ms. Calendar in the computer lab. So they didn't walk to school together, or get in any good morning kisses before they left the house. But that wasn't going to put Buffy in a bad mood. Nope, nothing could ruin this day. She walked out onto the quad and have Willow a quick kiss before she sat down on the bench next to her.
"You seem giddy this morning. Something happen last night that I should know about?" Xander asked and wiggled his eyebrows at her and Willow. Buffy just rolled her eyes and shook her head no, but Willow glared at her childhood friend and then smacked him on the arm. "Ouch! Ok, jeez. So, Buffy why are you so happy?" He looked over at her and rubbed his arm. Willow always got a little mad whenever he teased them about being physical, although he suspected that they still haven't slept with each other, he was sure Willow would tell him about that.
Buffy pulled Willow into her lap and wrapped her arms around her waist. She gave a quick kiss on her neck before she nuzzled the soft flesh. She felt Willow's breathing quicken and she could feel her own burning need start to grow. She had a feeling that if she and Willow didn't go farther into the relationship and soon she would go insane. Having Willow but never really having her was starting to drive her crazy.
"Do you know what today is?" she asked Willow but loud enough for Xander to hear. She waited a little impatiently while her redhead thought about it. She looked around at all of the other people in the quad. The guys were looking at them with lust, while most of the girls looked disgusted. There were a few who just didn't care, and paid them no attention. And then Buffy saw a very familiar face and she couldn't help but smile as she locked eyes with him for a second and he smiled too.
It had been over a month since that Saturday night when Quinn saved Willow from that really rude guy, Scott. They haven't really talked much since, but Buffy suspected that the handsome teen had a thing for Willow. When they passed in the hall she couldn't help but notice that his eyes never left Willow's body. It made her mad, and protective, but she tried to play it cool because Willow just loves to tease her when she gets really jealous of the boys, and that vise is plenty versa.
"Um, March twentieth," Willow said and her brow furrowed with confusion when Buffy shook her head no. "But it is the twentieth, I checked the calendar before I left the house this morning." Buffy thought about that and then nodded her head.
"Well, it is March twentieth, but 'what' day is it?" she asked and then the two became even more confused. She waited for an answer but they didn't give her one. They had no idea what she was talking about. She let out a dramatic sigh and subconsciously started to rub soft circles on Willow's stomach with her thumb and Xander had to fight like hell not to look.
"It's the first day of spring. I thought that maybe we could go out and celebrate tonight or something. It's like a tradition of mine. Every year on the first day of spring I go to a nursery and pick out a type of flower and plant it in the backyard. Well, I'm going to start planting them in the yard. At my house in L.A. I had to just leave them in the flower pots." Willow smiled at the cuteness of her girlfriend. Buffy was such a sap at heart and she was finally discovering that side of her. Ever since the admission of their love for each other the blonde has been a lot more romantic about things, and the things she says could put a B list romance movie to shame.
"So I was thinking," the blonde continued. "That maybe we could go pick out some flowers together and plant them out back." Then she put her lips to Willow's ear so only the redhead could hear. "And if we get a little dirty in the process and have to shower together to save on water, so be it." Willow blushed deeply, her face turning the same color as her hair, and she couldn't help but tense up. She almost felt bad denying Buffy but she just wasn't ready, and she wasn't going to do something she wasn't ready for just because she felt guilty.
She knew that Buffy was ready to go farther, but she didn't know if she was ready or not. She's never given herself to somebody before and she was afraid. She was scared that she wouldn't be any good and then Buffy would leave her, or that maybe sleeping with her was the real reason why Buffy was in the relationship, maybe the blonde only saw her as a conquest. She tried not to believe that but years of being told that she's worthless by Cordelia has really gotten her, and she can't help but think little of herself. Also, she's heard from the other girls talking the locker room that losing your virginity is a painful experience and she's not sure if she's ready to go through that or not.
She was about to say something, anything that would steer the conversation into another direction, when the perfect distraction came along. A guy that they had seen around, talked to a couple of times because he was in their biology class, David, stood in front of them, holding a pile light blue flyers and sporting a happy grin. He handed Willow the flyer and nodded his head in a hello, and offered a wiggle of his eyebrows at the way the two were sitting, and the flushed look on Willow's face.
"Party at Quinn's house this Saturday, you three in?" he asked and handed another flyer to Xander and then one to Buffy. "It just won't the same without you if you don't show, hope to see you there," he said in a friendly way and then walked off, and up to another small group of friends and passed out more flyers. The three spent a couple of minutes examining the papers they were given. In large bold letters said PARTY OF THE YEAR and then in smaller print under that it were the words 'free alcohol' and then it gave an address and said that the party would be starting at around nine.
"Well, what do you think, wanna go get a little tipsy and dance like we've never danced before?" Buffy asked, her voice oozing of sexual desire. Again Willow's face flushed and she was a little uncomfortable. She got up from Buffy's lap and avoided eye contact. She folded her flyer up and put it in her backpack and started to fidget a little. The two sitting down noticed that she was acting nervous, and the sudden mood change confused both of them.
"Um, I-I don't know. I mean, we usually go to the Bronze on Saturday. We wouldn't want to break tradition would we?" she asked and started to rub her hands together nervously. Before she could get an answer the bell rang and she looked back at her girlfriend and her childhood friend and forced a smile and tried not to show the relief she was feeling. "Well, we better get to class, wouldn't want to be late." She ran away from them, leaving them even more confused then before. It left them both thinking: 'what was that all about?'
Willow sat through her class, not really paying attention to what the teacher was saying. That struck everyone as odd, and to her surprise everyone in the room was worried about her. Mostly because the teacher was actually calling on them randomly because Willow wasn't raising her hand to answer the question. But there were a couple that were genuinely concerned for her well-being. One of them surprised the hell outta her after class when they questioned her gloomy state.
"Ok, what is the matter with you? I don't think I've ever seen you this sad before and I've been cruel to you for years," Cordelia said and leaned against the wall. Willow looked at her with surprise, and shock. She never thought in a million years that Cordelia would actually care about her in anyway. So why was she showing concern, even if it was being verbally projected in a mean voice.
"Nothing's wrong. And why do you care?" she asked, hoping that the ice queen would take offense and then say something about her being a humanitarian at heart and then stomping off. She just couldn't deal with fake compassion and then be used for her book smarts like so many people have done in the past. Nope, not this time. She wasn't going to help Cordelia no matter how concerned she acted. "What do you want? Because I'm not going to help you with the essay that's due on Friday. We've all had a month to write it, that's plenty of time for you to get a pedicure and study and write 5,000 words on Roman history."
Cordelia looked a little...hurt by that statement, but she was going to keep her emotions under control. She could tell that something was wrong with the redhead, anyone with eyes could see it, and she knew that Willow was just trying to get her mad so that she would stomp off and completely forget about her worries. But Willow doesn't know how strong willed the brunette could be, at least not yet.
"You're not getting rid of me that easy. I don't want help with the paper. I already have it finished and ready to turn in. What's with the surprised look? Romans actually interest me. Anyways, enough about me. (Something Willow thought she would never hear her say) what's up with you? There's obviously something bothering you, and I want to know what." Willow just looked over at her, confusion and surprise written all over her face. Cordelia finished an essay early? She thought to herself before snapping out of her trance.
"But why? You're always mean to me. In fact the last time you were nice to me was in fourth grade when I fell down and scraped my knee and you helped Xander walk me to the bathroom so I could get cleaned up. Of course you demanded that I help you with your homework for the next month, but you haven't been nice since." They started walking, Willow needed to get some books for her next class. She was actually kind of glad right now that she and Buffy had classes on opposite ends of the school for their second period. It saddened her that she was actually glad she wouldn't see her girlfriend.
"Alright, look. Over the years I think we've formed this special thing, you and me. I make fun of you and make you feel insecure, you look all sad and feel bad about yourself, Xander makes you feel better and then I ruin that happiness again. This is going to sound possessive, but I've come to think of you as my freak and if anyone is going to make you feel bad and act all depressed it's going to be me. I think I've reserved that right, and I'm not going to let anyone else push you around.
"Now tell me, what happened. Is it Harmony? She's come to think that just because she hangs out with me that she can make fun of you when I'm not there, and I've talked to her about it and she said she was going to stop. So if she's bothering you just tell me and I'll put an end to it. I have dirt on that girl that would put her at the bottom of the popularity chain overnight." She folded her arms across her chest and waited. She watched as Willow slowly pulled out her books and put the unneeded ones away.
"It's not Harmony, but thanks for that, she was turning into quite the bitch. She definitely learned from the best," she said and looked over at Cordelia, hoping that she would just leave. But then she saw that Cordelia was wearing her resolve face she wasn't going to go away. She sighed deeply and tried to think of something to tell her, something that would sound believable. She didn't want to say anything that the other girl would spread around the school and get completely out of hand, but she had to tell her something to get her to go away.
"You promise not to tell anyone?" she asked and looked Cordelia in the eyes. She watched as the brunette rolled her eyes and then relaxed a little. Willow had to admit that she was impressed. Cordelia was showing concern, maybe there was hope for her after all and she wouldn't grow up to be in a loveless relationship and end up getting a divorce and move on to more loveless relationships and only marrying for the money.
"Willow, I may have been mean to you over the years but I've never spread lies, and I don't talk about you behind your back. I just make a mean comment when we pass in the halls and I move on. The others talk, but I either change the subject or tell them to shut up. Now, what's bothering you?" Willow was again surprised. She wondered if maybe she had fallen into some type of alternate universe where Cordelia has actual feelings and isn't shallow and mean.
"Well," she knew she wouldn't be able to come up with a believable so she decided to tell her something really was bothering her, even if it wasn't the thing that had her so down. "A while ago my parents found out about me and Buffy, being together, and so they kicked me out of the house and said that I couldn't go back until I broke up with Buffy. I've tried calling them, but they just let the machine get it and they won't call back. And they've changed all the locks so I can't even go there and get my stuff. I guess I'm still upset about it." She had some tears running down her face and that's when Xander decided to walk up to them, and he looked really pissed off when he saw Willow crying and Cordelia standing there.
"Cordelia, get the hell out of here. Can't you, for one day, go without hurting other people to make yourself feel better? Are you that insecure?" he asked and stepped in between the two girls. Now that people were actually paying attention to what was happening, she gave up all feelings of compassion and concern, she does have a reputation to uphold after all.
"Maybe if Willow would try not being a freak for a day then I wouldn't have to make fun of her," she said with false cruelty and then she locked eyes with Willow and the redhead saw the commiseration in them. "You're better then them, just give it up already." She made sure to look down at Willow's clothes so that Xander wouldn't suspect something else and then she walked off to go find her little group of yes-women.
Xander asked if she was ok and even ripped off his shirt pocket so that she could blow her nose on it. He softly rubbed her back, trying to make her feel better. There are some days, days like these, that he wants to forget all about being a gentleman and just hit Cordelia hard enough to make her cry. But he would never hurt a girl in physical way on purpose and with malicious intent, it's just not who he is.
Willow and Buffy walked into the little nursery, and started to browse the different plants for sale. They were holding hands and walking really close together, Willow even went as far as letting go of Buffy's hand and putting it in the blonde's back pocket when she saw that the teenager behind the counter would not stop staring at her girlfriend's ass. Her own 'guy side' was starting to come out, but Buffy was oblivious. She was too busy looking at the different types of flowers and talking on and on about them.
"Oh, these are pretty, what do you think, will they look good in the backyard next to the porch or should we go with the blue? I think the blue ones would look better in the front yard, by the tree. But the pink ones are so pretty...Oh, these, let's get these ones." She said and picked up a small plastic container that held a small light green plant that had very light red flowers that felt like silk. She pulled the little tag out of the soil and held it out for Willow to see.
"Red carnations? But those won't really match any of the other plants in your yard," she said and watched as Buffy got a little mischievous grin on her face. She leaned forward and placed a sweet kiss on Willow's lips and then pulled back and looked into the lovely green eyes that she would never get tired of getting lost in.
"I know, but they're almost the exact same color as the blush you get whenever I embarrass you in front of Xander," she said with a sly smile. Willow rolled her eyes and tried not to blush, but it didn't work. Buffy smiled and then held the flowers really close to Willow's face and gave a little whistle. "Yep, pretty damn close." Willow tried to act offended and playfully smacked Buffy's arm. "You know I'm just teasing. But I do think they would go great in the yard. They would stand out, and look beautiful, just like you." She leaned forward and gave Willow a lingering kiss on the lips, only to receive a wolf whistle from the boy behind the counter, and when they pulled apart Willow was blushing a very deep red.
After they paid for the flowers and planted them in the backyard next to some of the other plants they had taken separate showers and are now hanging out in Willow's bedroom. Willow had insisted that they try to finish all of their homework early, that way it won't build up during the week and Joyce will let them go to that party. Willow still wasn't too sure about going, but she knew that it would make Buffy happy, and Willow wanted to make Buffy happy. She just wasn't so if all they would be doing at the party is mingling and hanging out and meeting people and possibly even kissing. She was worried that more would happen, or that one of them would try to make more happen.
Friday rolled around very slowly. Willow had tried to act happy and upbeat, but she was really feeling bad inside. She felt pressured, and she felt bad for denying Buffy every time, but she just wasn't ready to go that far. She didn't want to make Buffy mad so she kept her feelings to herself, but she knew that her blonde was starting to catch on that something wasn't right. She had questioned Willow on it a couple of times but the redhead denied that anything was wrong. It seemed like the only person she couldn't convince otherwise, other then herself, was Cordelia.
The brunette made a habit of talking to her when they were alone, trying to figure out the real reason. She wasn't entirely convinced that it was just Willow's parents that had her so depressed. It couldn't be, because she was happy for a while, this sadness just came out of nowhere, so it was something a little more recent. The question is, what? She was determined to find out.
"Willow, you got me begging here. I know there's something else going on that's got you all droopy, just tell me what it is. Maybe I can help," she said and folded her arms across her chest and leaned up against Willow's locker. Their history class was over and they only had a couple of minutes to talk before the next period started. Willow sighed and pulled out her math book, and put her history book away.
She started to walk away, but she knew that it was useless because Cordelia was just going to follow. So, so led the brunette to the girls' bathroom that isn't used very often. She made sure that no one else was in there before she locked the door. She put her book down on the edge of the sink and took off her backpack. She sighed heavily, trying to relax but that was impossible that this point. She looked over at Cordelia and fought to put her feelings into words. She knew what she was feeling she just didn't know how to vocalize it.
"I can tell you're struggling, so why don't you just tell me who it's about and go from there?" she suggested and folded her arms over her chest. She really wanted to get to the bottom of this. She's never seen Willow this bad before. Sure, she acts like she's ok in front of the others but Cordelia could tell just by looking her in the eyes that she's battling herself inside. What she's fighting about is the unknown and it's what Cordelia plans on finding out.
"Buffy, it's about Buffy," Willow said and looked down at her hands. She was just so nervous that she was starting to shake. She had gone over this a million different times in her mind, but she had never talked about it out loud, not even to herself because she didn't want anyone to hear, especially Buffy. But now, here she was, trying to figure out how to put her feelings into words, while Cordelia looked at her with some confusion and also...a little anger?
"I knew that girl was no good. You can even ask Harmony, she'll tell you. When she first showed up here and was practically drooling at the very sight of you I told her that Buffy was up to no good. God, who does that dumb blonde think she is?" Cordelia ranted and raved and then finally snapped back to reality. "So, what did she do? She didn't hurt you did she? Because there is no way in hell I'm going to tolerate that." Willow tried really hard not to roll her eyes. She was surprised at how much Cordelia actually cared about her, but she tried not to read too much into it.
"No, she didn't hurt me, she would never hurt me. It's just...well we've been dating for a while now, and I think that we've reached that point when in a relationship certain things are expected, and I don't know if I'm ready to go that far or not," she said and looked down, embarrassed but Cordelia looked over at her, confused.
"What things?" she asked. She had an idea of what the redhead was talking about but she just wanted to be sure. She didn't want to jump to any conclusions because she didn't want to make an ass out of herself. She watched as Willow did not make eye contact again, but kept her gaze cast downward at her shoes.
"Sex," she simply said and blushed so deeply she was afraid that all of her blood was rushing too quickly to her face and she would pass out. She heard Cordelia sigh heavily but there was only silence. She was too nervous to just stand there like that. "And I don't think I'm ready to go that far. I mean, I've never done it before, what if I do something wrong? What if she laughs at me? I don't think I'd be able to handle that. And plus I just don't think that I'm ready yet, emotionally speaking. We're really close, I'm living with her because my parents kicked me out, but we have separate rooms and we're not really allowed to sleep together, I mean, in the same bed. On the weekends we sleep on the couch together, and we just sleep, because like I said we still haven't gotten very far, and wow I'm getting light headed, are you light headed? Because, wow," she said and had to force herself to take in a deep breath. When she looked up Cordelia was standing really close to her and had her hands on the redhead's shoulders, trying to help her calm down.
"Willow, it's ok if you're not ready. You're what, 15? That's a little soon to be getting that involved with someone, if you ask me. Have you talked to her about it? Has she been pressuring you for sex or something?" she asked and Willow looked down again, this is where it gets a little confusing. She sighed and then took a step back, needing to be in her own space.
"Well, no, not exactly. We haven't talked out it, but she's suggested it, at least I think she has. I know that she's ready to. She doesn't pull back like she used to, it's always me that stops before we go too far. And I can't help but think that maybe she's getting mad or frustrated, and I don't want her to be mad at me, but I'm not going to do something just because she's ready to. What should I do?" she asked, and couldn't believe that she was actually asking Cordelia for advice. She just prayed that this never got loose in the school. She was made fun of enough as it is, she doesn't want to be mocked for this too.
"I think you should talk to her," she said and Willow couldn't help but notice that anger in Cordelia's eyes. What was going on with her? "If you don't tell her that she's making you feel uncomfortable then she'll never know and she can't know that she's doing something wrong unless you tell her. And Willow, I know that we're not friends, and I'm always making fun of you, but if you ever need to talk about anything like this ever again just tell me, like, pass me note or something and I'll make sure to ditch the others and we'll go somewhere to talk, ok?" she asked and Willow was again surprised. She nodded her head and then they left the bathroom, just in time to hear the bell ring. At first they thought that they were going to be late for class. That is until they realized that they had missed that period and it was now time for lunch.
"Ok, so, how do I look?" Buffy asked as they stood on the doorstep of Quinn Morgan's house. Willow looked over at her and gave her body a once over. They were both dressed in jeans, Buffy's a darker blue then Willow's. Buffy was wearing a red blouse that had a few buttons on the front; three of them were left unbutton to show off the right amount of cleavage. Willow was wearing a light green top that Buffy had helped her pick out, saying that she looked great in it. It was really low cut and it made Willow feel a little uncomfortable, but she looked great, they both did.
"You look hot, what about me?" she asked and nervously fidgeted as Buffy scanned her body with her eyes and Willow couldn't help but feel like Buffy was undressing her in her mind. She took a deep breath and remembered what Cordelia had said, she was only fifteen, and it was too soon for them to get too physical. She still hadn't talked to the blonde yet, but she would soon, just not tonight. She didn't want anything to ruin tonight.
"I'll put it this way, I better not leave your side for too long or someone might try to steal you away from me," she said and smiled and they exchanged a quick kiss before Buffy rang the doorbell and they waited. Some unknown guy opened the door and let them in. So far the party was 'bumpin' in Buffy's words. There were bodies all over the place, grinding against each other to the fast paced music, there was normal party food: chips, three different dips, pretzels, and some Ritz crackers. And the drinks consisted of: Pepsi, Coke, Root Beer, beer, vodka, and rum.
Immediately Buffy led Willow towards the drink table and got two cups and then a can of Coke. She filled each cup half with soda and then the other half was a mix of vodka and rum. Willow was apprehensive, but she took the drink, and sipped at it. At first the alcohol tasted horrible and she thought she was going to choke or spit it out, but she was able to keep it down. She decided that she wasn't going to drink all of it, just sip at it so Buffy wouldn't ask her what was wrong.
They were soon dancing to the beat of the quick paced songs, Buffy was grinding up against Willow, and there was a small crowd gathered around them, but neither of them noticed. All that they paid attention to was the way their bodies moved together, and what their touches were doing to each other. When the song ended Buffy pulled Willow into a very passionate kiss that earned a lot of hoots and hollers from the boys standing around them. Buffy had a few more drinks and as a result was becoming more comfortable touching and kissing Willow in front of everyone, being a lot more...affectionate then normal.
Then Buffy led Willow upstairs and they watched the party from the balcony. Well, some of the time, they were mostly kissing and groping each other, making sure to keep their hands above their clothes. Willow could taste the alcohol on Buffy's breath and she didn't like it, but she didn't want to stop, at least not yet. Then Buffy pulled back and looked into Willow's green eyes.
"Why don't we go somewhere a little more private?" she asked and Willow just nodded. She knew that Buffy wouldn't do anything that Willow didn't want her to, so all she had to do was make sure to stop if things got too intense. She was led to a bedroom, and they both knew that it was the master bedroom, a.k.a Quinn's parents' bedroom.
Buffy shut the door and gently pressed Willow up against it as they continued to kiss. Then Buffy led her over to the bed and gently laid her down on her back. She was laying half on top of Willow, making sure most of her weight was on the bed so she didn't hurt the redhead. The kisses were becoming more and more intense. Then she pulled back so that they could breathe and then Buffy showered Willow's throat with soft kisses. Then she let her fingers trail down Willow's stomach and her hand rested at the waistband of other girl's jeans. She teased the skin of Willow's abdomen before she slowly unbuttoned the redhead's pants.
"Buffy," she heard Willow say, but she ignored it. She kept up her kissing and sucking on her girlfriend's neck and she unzipped her jeans and couldn't help but smile. She's been waiting a long time for this and it was finally going to happen. She'd wanted to on the night of their three-month anniversary. She thought that it would have been the perfect night because they had both admitted that they love each other, but Willow had pulled back, and for the next month she had tried to go further, only to have the other girl pull back before things became serious, but never once had she heard a protest or had Willow talked to her about it. So in her mind Willow wanted this, but she was just too shy about asking for it.
She slowly slipped her hand under the fabric of the jeans and cupped Willow's sex over the cotton underwear. She became wet just touching her like this, and she couldn't help the little moan that snuck its way out of her mouth and onto the redhead's very wet and hickey covered neck. She pulled back from the redhead's throat, slowly rubbing her fingers against the girl's panty clad sex as she leaned down to kiss her but Willow pulled her head to the side.
"Buffy, stop, please stop," she said and tried to sit up, but Buffy's weight held her down. She looked up into the hazel eyes that were confused and also a little unfocused from the obvious drunkenness. This is not what she wanted at all, it was just too cliché, and she wasn't ready for it.
She watched as Buffy pulled back a little further to look at her, but she didn't sit up all the way and Willow was trapped under her. She was glad when Buffy stopped her rubbing with the hand that had made its way into her jeans but she tensed when she felt that the blonde didn't remove the hand but just let it rest there.
"I thought you wanted this?" Buffy asked, sounding a little hurt. "I thought you wanted me." She added pressure to her hand and Willow's hips ground against her hand as if on their own free will. She smiled, thinking that Willow had done it herself and she started to stroke her again. Only this time she let her fingers push the underwear aside and she started to rub two fingers over the redhead's clit. She felt Willow tense, and she took that as a good sign and she kept up the stroking.
"Buffy please..." Willow said in a voice that the blonde mistook for pleasure. She felt Willow start to squirm and she couldn't help but smile as she leant down and started to suck on the redhead's neck again. But then she felt Willow pushing up roughly on her shoulders. "Buffy stop. Get off. Buffy please, get off of me." Willow was practically begging. Buffy sat up and looked down at her and the redhead grabbed onto her wrist and pulled it out of her jeans and she zipped up and re-buttoned them. They sat up and the redhead had tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you, I-" she stopped when she saw that Willow was fighting to keep her tears in. She reached over to place a comforting hand on Willow's shoulder but the redhead pulled away before she could be touched. Buffy was confused, and also a little angry. The alcohol coursing through her veins was clouding her judgment and making it really hard for her to control her emotions and her body's desires. "What's wrong?" Willow didn't look at her and Buffy got a little mad but she just sat there, working on controlling the anger that was starting to slowly build up.
"I asked you to stop, and you didn't, you just kept going. I need to go, I need to get out of here," she said and she stood up. She started to walk towards the door but she was stopped when Buffy grabbed onto her wrist and turned her around. She could tell that Buffy was mad, and for the very first time since meeting her she was afraid of the blonde girl. She was actually scared that she might be physically hurt by her.
"But I thought you wanted me, I thought you loved me," she said, sounding hurt and angry. Willow was shocked by what she had said. She couldn't believe that Buffy would use that against her. Of course she loved the blonde, there was no doubt about that, and that made all of this hurt even more. The fact that the person she loved with all her heart would violate her, and then use that love against her was going to make her sick.
"I do love you. You're the only person I've ever been in love with. But I'm just not ready to have sex with you, or anyone else for that matter. I asked you to stop but you just kept going, do you not realized how violated that makes me feel?" she asked and she pulled her wrist roughly out of Buffy's grasp. She saw the angry and hurt look on the blonde's face, but she wasn't going to back down, or cry in front of her. She already felt used, she wasn't about to be humiliated as well.
"That's how I make you feel? Violated? I've been nothing but understanding and loving for the past four months. After our first date you wanted to, so what's the problem now? Am I just not good enough for you? Is that it? I've seen you, talking with Cordelia and sneaking off with her, is there something going on that I should know about? Are you fucking her behind my back?" she couldn't keep her voice down and she was yelling at Willow. Her muscles were tense and her fists were clenching and unclenching and she just wanted to hit something, to get this anger out.
"I would never cheat on you. I love you. I would never do anything like that. I would never hurt you, especially with someone like Cordelia. If you can't trust me not to cheat then maybe we shouldn't be together anymore," she said and instantly she wanted to take it back. She didn't mean to say that, it had just slipped out. She turned to leave, she opened the door but Buffy was right behind her and she slammed it closed and turned Willow around, pressing her up against the door.
"No! We're not breaking up. You don't get to decide if this is over or not. I love you Willow, dammit, I just wanted to show you that. I just wanted to show you how much I love you. Why are you fighting me on this? Why do you not want to be with me?" she yelled, and punched her fist through the wall next to Willow's head. Willow flinched and pushed Buffy back and fled from the room, running down the stairs and out to the backyard of the house. She had nowhere else to go, and she didn't want to walk around risking a vampire attack. She saw the small pool house and she went in there since the door was unlocked. She kept the lights off and allowed her eyes to get used to the darkness before she sat down on the couch and cried.
She tried her best to stop her tears and make it appear like she wasn't crying when she heard the door open. She wiped her eyes and took in a deep calming breath before she looked up. She saw a figure standing in the doorway but the darkness wouldn't allow her to get a look at the person's face. Then she saw them reach over and flick on the lamp that was on the little side table up against the wall by the door. She blinked a couple of times and allowed her eyes to get used to the light.
"Are you ok? I sort of heard what happened upstairs, thought I'd check on you," she heard Quinn say and he shut the door and made his way into the little living room. She nodded her head yes; that everything was fine, and then she looked down at her lap. She felt embarrassed that other people had heard, but their voices had gotten pretty loud so she wasn't surprised. She heard him walking towards her and then she saw him hand appear a few inches below her face, holding a tissue.
"Thank you," she said and took the Kleenex and wiped off her eyes and then her nose. When she was done he took it back from her and threw it in the little trashcan before sitting down next to her on the couch. He sat a respectable distance from her and she was glad. She didn't know how much more she could take before just completely breaking down.
"I understand if you don't want to talk about it with me, we don't even know each other, and that's fine, but I'll stay if you don't want to be alone," he said and leaned forward, preparing to get up. She looked over at him, with a pleading expression in her eyes. She didn't want to be alone, and she wished that Xander had been able to come, but his parents had told him no. She just wanted to be hugged and told that everything would be ok. The last thing she wanted was to be alone, well that, and being in the same room with Buffy.
"Will you stay?" she asked and he nodded his head and sat back against the couch. He watched her closely, his soft brown eyes showing sympathy for the redhead sitting next to him. Willow was thankful that he was here, but it just wasn't the same as Xander. He would at least be able to comfort her more then anybody else would be able to at the moment. "You're right, we don't know each other, and I don't want to seem intrusive, but will you, I mean if it isn't asking too much and if you don't mind will you..." she couldn't make herself say it, but he seemed to have gotten the message. He scooted closer to her and gently wrapped his arms around her and held her in a comforting embrace and allowed her to cry on his chest.
They were like that for almost half an hour before she finally started to calm down. She felt horrible, the little alcohol that she had consumed was starting to give her a headache, not to mention all of the stress that she had endured tonight. Emotions were running high and she felt like an exposed nerve that was continuously being poked at with a cold object. She was surprised that she was finding comfort in a stranger's arms but at the moment she didn't care. He was able to calm her down, and tell her that everything was ok and for that she was grateful.
"I'm sorry," she said after she leaned back and noticed the small mess she had made on his shirt. She scooted away from him a little, putting some space in between them but not breaking all physical contact. He looked down and then he smiled and he looked into her eyes.
"It's alright, it's just a shirt. I'm worried about you, though. Are you going to be ok? Do you need a ride home?" he asked and she shook her head, not sure which question she was answering. She didn't want to leave this place because she only had two options: her parents' house or Buffy's place, and she didn't want to go to either of those places at the moment. He nodded his head in understanding and gently rubbed her back.
"If you don't want to leave you can stay here in the guest house. You could borrow some of my sister's pajamas if you want. And, don't worry Willow, everything will work itself out. Just give her some time. She had a lot to drink, and she's probably hurt from being rejected, but she still had no right to yell at you like that." He kept his voice low, soothing to her ears. She looked down at her lap again, a new set of tears forming in her eyes as she remembered the words that had come from her girlfriend's mouth, the person who was supposed to be in love with her, the person who had promised to take care of her and protect her no matter what.
"She thinks I cheated on her with Cordelia Chase," she said and her lips started to quiver as she held back the sobs. She just wanted to curl up in a ball and die. This felt so horrible, this pain, this heartache. She was just glad she had someone to talk to, even if she did feel a little uncomfortable because she doesn't know him very well. He just kept rubbing her back and he gently wiped her tears away with his free hand. She looked up at him and they locked eyes. She tensed up a little bit and she felt herself slowly leaning forward, and right before she closed her eyes to meet him halfway in a kiss she couldn't help but notice that his hand was currently working its way up the back of her shirt and unhooking her bra strap.
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I've evil, I know.