And You Know It's No Fun
by DawnBTVS
Chapter 3
[reviews]
Buffy and I were seated on the table, watching Giles pace in front of us. Occasionally he would run his hand through his hair or glance at us in a mix of pride and anger. I flash him a smile when he glances at us again. He sighs and finally stops pacing. He was starting to make me sick to my stomach with his constant back and forth.
"It's best that you two keep a look out. I'm sure we can all agree that Joyce trying to seek Buffy out will likely occur," Giles states. Buffy and I look at each other, knowing it's true. The doors open to our surprise as Giles, Buffy, and I all look at the intruders. I silently curse. It's Xander and Cordelia and neither looks happy. I still have my hand bandaged but I'll use it if the need arises. Giles walks up to them.
"May I hel-" he starts but gets cut off by Cordelia who doesn't even bother to look at him.
"No," Cordelia snaps, as the duo walk past Giles. Giles looks at them a little shell shocked that his attempt at help was so soundly denied. I manage to curb the smirk that I'd be wearing right now because Xander and Cordelia are now standing in front of us. I lift myself off the table and onto the floor, enough so that Buffy's behind me should something happen.
"Nice to see you two again," I comment with sarcastic sincerity. Cordelia gives me a cold smile, stepping forward while crossing her arms over her chest.
"Moving on so quickly? Nice to see your affinity for blondes continuing though but that's none of my business of course. I wonder if she knows about Amy?" Cordelia asks, tapping a finger against her chin and glancing at Xander. Xander smirks. I lower my eyes to the floor in shame, knowing exactly what's going to happen. Xander lets out a laugh as I can feel myself growing red from shame and embarrassment. Amy's an extremely sore topic, meaning Cordy and Xander love to bring it up. Normally I can stand up to their needled comments but this topic isn't one I can batter down.
"Amy was a cheerleader and a good looker to. She wasn't marked by bruises like say for example, you. Man, you really should've seen what Willow put that poor girl through. First, Willow has the gall to dump Amy on Valentine's Day. Afterwards, Willow belittles Amy in front of everybody for cheating on her. That was cute, Willow. Really, especially since you were cheating on her too," Xander says, a cold malice in his voice. I lift my eyes to his, tears burning but not yet falling. Cordelia giggles, leering at me now.
"Cheating on her, with me no less. I was just using, but Willow wanted so bad to be in the popular crowd. Obviously that didn't work out. Willing to have a fling behind the girlfriend with an enemy just to be apart of a crowd. How shallow," Cordelia laughs. She gives a wave to us as she turns, Xander in tow. They exit the library. I'm standing still, just scared of what Buffy thinks, while feeling unbridled rage at Cordelia and Xander for fucking up my life some more.
"Will?" Buffy asks, quietly. I turn to her, a sad smile on my face. I gesture over my shoulder, tears clouding my vision at this point to where Buffy's nothing more than a blob.
"I-I need-" I start but can't finish. I dash out of the room, tears finally spilling, knowing Buffy will hate me for being such an evil bitch.
~~~BTVS~~~
It takes all of my willpower to not march out of the library and start cracking skulls. I sigh, remaining seated on the table. Giles sees I need time to think this over and quietly goes back into his office. I lower myself off the table and head up into the stacks, taking a seat against a bookshelf, and shielding myself away from anybody who could come in. Willow may not be the most virtuous girl that I've met, but she couldn't be that cruel. Cordelia and Xander have had it out for her anyway. They've never said one kind remark. Why should I believe them? Willow's reaction maybe? I rest my head against the bookshelf, intertwining my fingers together. I lift my head up when I detect a presence to my right. It's Giles, wearing a sorrowful expression. I glance away, swallowing the sob building in my throat. Giles crouches next to me, taking a seat against the bookshelf. We've built a nice rapport since the first day I arrived in school. He's fairly stern however my being a quick study has helped transition through the weapons training pretty quickly. I've caught him writing notes in that journal of his a couple times.
"Are you okay?" Giles asks, soft. I shrug my shoulders, not really feeling up to talking out my problems. I never felt comfortable explaining my feelings and emotions to others. It's hard, even around Willow, for me to open up much.
"With which part? The dumping on Valentines Day? The cheating on her girlfriend? Or cheating on her girlfriend with Cordelia?" I ask, playing with the cuff of my left sleeve in an attempt to not let Giles know how much this really hurt.
"Willow made a mistake, Buffy. Although it didn't sound all that endearing, we did only hear one side," Giles says, parental logic, and reasoning coming to the rescue. I glance at him. He's wearing a soft smile but I can see in his eyes that he was taken aback by that revelation, though probably not as much as I was.
"What if she doesn't want me anymore, Giles? W-what if she thinks I hate her so she breaks up with me? We haven't even had a first date! W-we slept together, not that way, Giles, but I want that way too. I want smoochies, candlelit dinners, opening presents on Christmas morning, and-" I babble, my panic now overtaking me. Giles places a hand on my shoulder in concern.
"Buffy, calm down. Willow needs some time to sort her feelings out as well. Somebody other than her has just announced extremely private details to somebody she cares for deeply without her consent. I'm sure she'll be fine with you when she's been given time to think," Giles states, trying to comfort me. I take a couple deep breaths and nod my head. Right. Once Willow thinks things over...Oh God! I can feel my breathing quicken and images flash through my head of her turning me away again. I glance at Giles, panic in my eyes returned. Giles sighs, clearly seeing this isn't an easy battle for him to win. I want him to win this battle though, believe me. "Do you love her?" Giles asks. I frown at him, thinking he's just stated the most obvious thing in the world.
"Duh!" I retort, earning a soft glare. I glance down, a little guilty at my reaction but come on, any non-blind sane person would see I love her.
"I've seen the way she protects you, Buffy. The subtle motions she takes when she's concerned that you could be in harms way given your, uh, current physical predicament. She loves you," Giles states. I give him a soft smile and nod my head.
"Thanks," I whisper. He nods his head in acceptance and rises to his feet with a groan.
"No more squatting. My bones can't take much more of that," Giles huffs, wincing. I smirk as he makes his way down the steps with a hand resting on his lower back. I stand up, following him down.
~~~BTVS~~~
I'm sitting out in the courtyard of the school, wiping away the tears. I remember that day when I first learned of Amy's cheating. Of course it came from Cordelia. At the time she pretended to be interested in me. She didn't badmouth me in front of her groupies and even praised me several times in front of Xander. She led me on until I felt like she really knew me. The day after I confronted Amy, Cordelia informally told me that I had been a pawn in her scheme to mess with me some more. Amy by then had decided to transfer to another high school. I shied away from contact then, just hiding in the library almost every day of the week. Giles' arrival at the end of last year was a blessing in disguise. We struck up a cordial friendship. I remember thinking how cool it was that he kept the demonology books on display although whenever I asked why he had them, he gave me a reason like he was keeping them for a friend. Now I know why though. I glance around at the students milling about, laughing with each other. I lower my hands into my head, rubbing my temple wearily.
"It's tough," comments Amber, taking a seat next to me. Amber and I had known each other since grade school. She was a star cheerleader here at Sunnydale High but she still hung out with me. Her boyfriend, Larry was on the football team too. I lift my head up, wiping away my tears.
"Guess you heard?" I ask, staring at her. She nods her head, looking up at the students racing to their classes.
"If I were in your shoes, I'd go for her too. She's cute, and could pass for a cheerleader here at least," Amber comments. I look at her, a bit surprised at her comment. She gives me a smile.
"What'd you hear?" I ask, now confused, and curious too. She gives a nonchalant shrug of her shoulders, then a catty smile at me.
"Mostly rumors. Luckily, I heard it early in the morning. You and the new girl seem to have an affinity. Maybe it is just friendship, but I've seen you two and I can tell it's more. A half hour ago, it seems to have spun into Buffy courting you by beating up Xander while you pinned Cordy down with the fire extinguisher," Amber says. It's absurd enough to at least make me give Amber a grateful smile.
"There's always bits and pieces of the truth hidden," I reply. Amber smirks back before rising to her feet.
"That's always the case. I'm going to catch Larry at practice. Stick with her, Willow. She's a keeper," Amber calls over her shoulder as I watch her leave towards the football field. I give a sad smile. Keep her? I'll be lucky if she ever talks to me after what she learned. I rise up from my spot in the courtyard and briskly walk back into the building. I shuffle past a few chattering students and spot Buffy at the end of the hallway. I quickly turn around and head away from her. I glance over my shoulder but she's gone. I sigh, resigning to spending the afternoon in detention somehow to delay the inevitable breakup.