And You Know It's No Fun
by DawnBTVS
Chapter 6
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A/N: Graphic matter ahead so if you're squeamish about sensitive topics, you may want to be cautious.
Images keep flashing in my head of this morning. My mother's hand moving back with a subtle swiftness, then crashing forward until it met resistance with Willow's cheek. Willow's head moving with the contact, then her eyes widening in recognition before fury overcame her. I carefully brush a couple strands of her hair out of her face as she smiles, eyes still closed, and snuggles closer against me. She lets out a soft sigh, nose wrinkling slightly as I barely suppress a giggle at the action. I kiss her softly on the forehead, earning an unintelligible murmur. I glance at the bedside clock to see it flashing 3:47 in the morning. I look up at the bevy of posters lining the walls around the bed, wondering exactly how Willow came to be so...extreme. I had never even thought of doing half the things Willow had done. Although throwing Xander against the lockers was a new experience...and let me feeling warm inside. Seeing Willow threatened made me angry and I threw him without even thinking about it. It was all done on adrenaline or instinct. Is that how Willow feels? Did she hit my mother upon feeling the same thing I felt? For the first time in my life, I had actually felt a semblance of power. It was almost a heady feeling. I gaze down at Willow's sleeping face. I think I understand now why she does what she does. The exultation and the power make it so worthwhile. I just wish I had the confidence to act out more.
~~~BTVS~~~
I was taking a shortcut through the courtyard in my haste to meet up with Willow at the library. Mr. Jervison seemed to think that it would be fitting if he could make me any later by discussing the fact that my papers were kind of falling off. After a myriad of assurances that I'd do better, off I went. I need Willow smoochies and discussion about school work becomes a major pain. I sense a group of people around me before I know what's happening to me. I feel a hand press against my mouth tightly, suffocating that breathing route, but I still have my nose. Instead of squirming though, I wait to see what'll happen. For a split second, I can smell Willow all over my attackers and that petrifies me. Now I begin to squirm and struggle before getting thrown to the ground. It's a pebbly surface and the pavement's hard. I glance up at the six figures standing around me with Xander being the ringleader. I quickly rise to my feet and ball both hands into fists. I don't think I appreciate being manhandled anymore.
"What'd you do with Willow?" I snarl, feeling anger growing at the images flashing through my head. Rape. Assault. I hold back every instinct to slam Xander against the wall after seeing his smirk in time with Willow screaming my name in fear in my head.
"I wouldn't worry about her. She's a big girl now," Xander replies with a cold sneer. His eyes flash dangerous but me, I'm a whole lot scarier. I let out a growl deep in my throat as I take a couple advancing steps towards him. I notice a couple flunkies glance at each other in concern. That's right. Run now because in five seconds, you're all winding up at the infirmary.
"You're dead," I snarl, ready to launch myself at Xander. Xander smirks at me and steps backwards, the other five guys stepping in front of him. They're all standing side by side and look to attack me one at a time. I give them all a hard stare, knowing that they'll have to kill me to stop me. The first guy charges while throwing a sloppy right hook. I duck it and promptly lay him out with a hard forearm to the cheek. He's lying crumpled as the second guy charges with no hesitation. I sidestep him, throwing him as hard as I can into the brick wall. I hear a crunch when his face smacks the brick, probably a broken nose or cheekbone. I don't care. The third, fourth, and fifth guys all look at Xander in surprise and a bit of dismay. Xander glares at them. I calmly cross my arms over my chest and give them a cool smile. They instantly scramble away. Xander sighs, running a hand through his hair as he steps forward.
"Let's go," I snap at him, just wanting to kick his ass. Xander chuckles.
"Give a kiss to Willow for me," Xander cracks, charging forward, and slamming me in the chest with his body. We fall to the ground with my back taking most of the brunt. Xander gives me several hard rights, one managing to connect with my lip, and split it open. I give him a grin, so glad he hit me first. I give him a hard Headbutt on the bridge of his nose, instantly breaking it. He lets out a muffled cry, blood spilling down onto my face. I shove him off me and quickly rise to my feet. He's already on his feet, kicking me hard in the face, enough to lacerate my cheek. I let out an angry snarl, rising to my full height. Xander looks a little surprised, his smug look of triumph now disappearing. I nail him with a hard forearm, not caring that the blood is coating the white sleeve of my sweater right now. He falls to the ground. I straddle him, giving him a few more forearms for added measure.
"Don't ever come near us again or I'll kill you next time," I snarl down at him. He makes a groan of some words but I'm off him and heading for the library now. I need to find Willow.
~~~BTVS~~~
I shove the library doors open loud enough to cause a crack sound when they connect with the walls. Giles is talking with two guys wearing black suits and are clearly British. I know who they are and purposely ignore them when I step in front of Giles, interrupting their conversation. Giles glares at me before fully taking in how I look.
"Buffy...dear lord," Giles exclaims. I must make a pretty picture with the blood covering my face and sweater. The other two guys gasp, with one making a strangled choking noise. I just stare at him hard.
"Where's Willow?" I ask. Giles frowns now, showing concern as the knot in my stomach tightening. He shrugs his shoulders as I brush past him, running out of the library doors before he can answer verbally. Where are you, Will?
~~~BTVS~~~
I'm lying on the floor of the girl's locker room. At least, that's where I think I am now. My head's kind of woozy and I'm noticeably naked. I look around for my clothes, spotting them in a crumpled heap beneath one of the benches. My body protests as I try to lift myself up, using the bench as an aid. I notice the blood pooling beneath my legs now. I tremble at the sight, quickly feeling all over my body for any noticeable causes. I lower a shaking hand from my cheek when I can't find any lacerations on my body. I let out a soft whimper, standing up against the lockers. My knees feel wobbly as I stagger over to a mirror. The blood follows me, a trail to my body, confirming the loss of my innocence. I place both hands against the white brick walls, trying to steady my breathing but it's not working. I glance at the mirror, taking in the nice black left eye. I notice a few more abrasions on my chest and stomach. I clench a fist, tears falling freely now at the knowledge of what they did to me. I let out a scream but my throat's too hoarse to make it any louder than a whimper. I hear the door bang closed behind me and I whirl, fright encompassing me now. I'm not used to being afraid. I don't do fear, damnit. I let out a strangled sob when it's Buffy. I slump against the wall, eyes trained on the bloody trail. Buffy follows my eyes, gasping in shock.
"Too many. I fought. I lost and passed out," I whisper, voice cracking. I bury my head into my arms, sobbing sharp cries of pain and humiliation. I lift my eyes to Buffy. "I wanted to save it. I'm sorry," I gasp out. Buffy advances, I can hear her footsteps echoing off the walls. I feel Buffy's hand on my shoulder as I bury my head back into my arms feeling lost and helpless for the first time in my life. Blackness takes my pain away.