And You Know It's No Fun
by DawnBTVS
Chapter 7
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I had managed to stop the bleeding when Willow passed out. I wrapped her in my jacket and an additional towel before taking her back to Giles. He promptly called 911. I remember the look of shock on the faces of the students in the hallway. I carried Will to the car and just held her on our way to the hospital. I'd brush her hair away from her face and whisper assurances that she'd be fine. She'd never be fine though. I let it happen. I told her I'd protect her and I didn't. I'm a failure. I glance up at the doctor walking past us but he continues on his way. I shouldn't have talked to the teacher. I could've prevented it or done something. I look up at the door bearing the simple nametag, "Willow Rosenberg" with despair. I wrap my arms around my knees, drawing them to my chest tighter as a way to ward off the pain I inflicted on her.
Giles is sitting next to me on my left. He's been somber since our arrival. I threatened to beat up the nurse who thought it'd be best to take me from Willow's side. I was turned away at the door though, been out here since. Only then did I get treatment but I made sure it wasn't long. I don't like hospitals much. Some of the doctors arched eyebrows upon seeing me, almost out of recognition. Mom had taken me to hospitals a couple times in Los Angeles when I was too beaten up to really function. I wonder if the doctors here caught wind or something. Lilly and Phillip are seated on my right. Ira and Sheila showed up an hour ago. They've been quiet too. I get to my feet, glancing back down at Giles.
"I'm going to walk around," I whisper, getting an understanding nod back. The bandages covering the laceration on my cheek and split lip are constant reminders of what I had to endure as well, although it wasn't nearly as bad as what Willow went through of course. I wrap both arms around my waist just taking in the sights and sounds of the hospital. I walk down a couple barren, white hallways pretty much devoid of bustling doctors and nurses. I press myself against the wall, just slumping down it much the way Willow had in the locker room. I close my eyes, reliving the haunting image of that afternoon. Willow slumped, the blood acting as an arrow, and the small innocence Willow had still claimed taken from her. I unconsciously bang the back of my head against the wall hard. Then a second time, just wishing I had done something. My eyes snap open with realization.
~~~BTVS~~~
I slipped out a back exit behind the building, away from where Giles, and everybody else were sitting. I'm still wearing my bloodied clothes from earlier although the blood on my white sweater has begun to flake off occasionally. I'm walking down a sidewalk in front of a row of stores, including the ice cream shop. I told Willow I'd take her there one day. I freeze still when I spot them. Xander and Cordelia exiting the ice cream shop together, holding hands. Hands linked like mine were just a few days ago. Willow huddled against the wall flashes in my head and I snarl softly under my breath. Cordelia spots me first, eyes flickering past Xander at me. Her eyes flash fear before gazing up to Xander. He turns around slowly, obviously aware that it's me.
"Too many," said by Willow screams through my brain as if blasting from a speaker right next to my ear. I close my eyes, opening them to Xander marching towards me with Cordelia following. Xander has a splint over his nose and a black eye. Willow had a black eye too. Hers was on her left though, Xander's on his right. Cordelia steps up next to Xander as they finally reach me. Cordelia's wearing a smirk but I can smell the fear rolling off her. Xander though, he's not scared. He is a little but his confidence manages to hide most of it. I clench my teeth together, fists balled.
"She screamed your name, you know," Cordelia taunts at me. I close my eyes, trying to pretend it wasn't true. Xander laughs and I can feel the blood in my body tingling now.
"I'm sorry," Willow sobs in my head again. I shake my head, wanting her suffering to stop. Wanting her torment to end, decease. I can still see Xander and Cordelia, hands linked together. I can almost imagine the warmth. Willow's hands were cold though, really cold. I knew that feeling. She was dying on me. They left her there to die. She was barely breathing when I was cradling her in the car. I remember Phillip sat up front with Giles and Lilly. He mentioned something about being scared I'd kill him if he imposed on my comforting of Willow.
"She was aroused by the whole experience. I'll remember the soft moans the most though," Xander whispers into my ear. My eyes are still closed. I can still smell Willow all over him. I cock my head to the side, just wishing it would stop. That they would stop. Images of Willow punching my mother flash through my head now. My protector. My damsel in shining armor huddled against the wall, broken in a way that I had never seen her before.
"I wanted to save it," Willow gasps to me. Her sparkling green eyes now showing the cracked spirit that she housed. Her eyes so full of warmth and caring, now begging me to stay away and imploring me to save her this time. Her skin was so pale when we arrived at the hospital. She resembled a living skeleton. Her eyes were rolled back in her head when the doctor lifted the eyelids. They rushed her to the emergency room, away from my care. I told her that I loved her in the car. I told her to fight, to battle.
"Didn't take that long to break though, even with her struggling," Cordelia giggles into my other ear. I shoot an arm out, eyes still closed. I close my hand around her throat, listening to her gasps in my head like a melody. Xander starts to say something but I've thrown him through a window I think. I heard a crash followed by the sounds of glass hitting the sidewalk. I open my eyes, taking in Cordelia's expression with keen interest.
"You feel that?" I ask, arching an eyebrow at her now. She has both hands scrabbling at mine now. Her nails scratch the back of my hand. I watch the rivulets of blood falling down my wrist now. Soon, they'll blend together I'm sure. Willow wasn't full of rivulets though but rather just one stream. I tighten my grip just a bit. Cordelia's having trouble breathing now as I spot a growing crowd of people watching this...spectacle but it's not, this is a rude awakening. Cordelia's turning the faintest shade of blue now. Her hands are starting to put up less resistance with each passing second. I'm pretty sure that with a few more minutes she'll start suffering some sort of brain damage.
"Give a kiss to Willow for me," Xander cracks in my head. Cordelia's arms have fallen down to her side now. Oh, she's still alive but I'm curious to see how long until she finally gives out. I glance over her shoulder at the still growing crowd of people. I don't hear any sirens in the distance yet. Guess they are all afraid of what I'd do to them. I peer into Cordelia's eyes. She's begging me not to kill her now. I want to laugh at her. What a bitch she is. Her eyes are barely starting to bug out. Would they explode eventually?
"Do you understand the way Willow felt?" I calmly ask, knowing it won't get any answer in return. Xander is still laid out by the shattered window. I wonder how much it would be to replace that? Probably a lot but Xander's fairly rich nowadays so he can cover the cost. Cordelia shudders. It is just once but she's about to lose consciousness. I'm surprised she managed to stick it out this long though. This is a message to both of them. A re-enactment of what Willow and I had to go through. I hope it gets through crystal clear.
"Seeing you down there in pain was like a knife to my gut," Willow breathes into my ear. I give a calm smile at Cordelia. I bet she thinks she's going to die now. I release my grip, letting her fall to the ground with a smack. I stare down at her body. She's still breathing, just barely. Very reminiscent of the way Willow was barely breathing. She's still blue though. I wonder if she'll get treatment in the emergency room too. I glance down at my hand, still bleeding nicely. I casually turn around and walk away. I think Willow will be waking up by now.