Carcass *Chapter 11 up on 3/01*
by DawnBTVS
Re-Entry
We reach the Summers home shortly. I wonder who revived Tara. She must be powerful in order to do it. I remember the time I had to revive Buffy, for personal satisfaction rather than any humane reason. I had raised Buffy out of a selfish greed that I couldn't bear to live without her association. Was that the same reasoning behind Tara? I wonder how I'll react to her presence now or even if there's a way I should react to her. I know we were lovers, truly in love, however Kennedy came afterwards. She was a rebound girl for me. I didn't have a real attachment to her but I found that sex was a good way of getting over the loss of Tara.
Buffy's been watching me out of the corner of her eye. She's been a bit weary of my presence since our moment in the graveyard. I feel bitter at Buffy, but it's not out of true anger at what she did to my sire. I'm not sure if it's really anger but instead maybe disappointment. Buffy goes through the motions with ease and that's all it has become lately. I can remember the days after the First Evil was defeated. Buffy seemed to act like slaying was a necessary evil for her but she had the opportunity to hand it off to the potentials. She had for a while but evidently decided that she still wanted the spotlight, even if she thought that slaying was getting too routine. I have memories of my early life when Buffy relished being a slayer. She accepted her responsibility, even going so far as to commit suicide to save the world as well as her sister.
Buffy pushes the door open but I stand where I am, unsure exactly of how the barrier works. I've seen its effect on Spike but will I be repelled backwards? Buffy glances back at me as I look back at her with uncertainty. She gives me a small smile, almost like I'm making a joke about the situation with my action.
"You can enter, Willow. It's been a while but you'll always be accepted here," Buffy says with sincerity. I nod my head, tentatively stepping through the threshold. I place a foot on the other side of the doorway, some tension disappearing. I drag my other foot in behind me as Buffy closes the door. I look around, taking in the sights, and new smells. I glance at the living room, taking notice at the musky odor emanating from it. I walk softly towards the archway and lean in, surveying the room.
"What are the folders for?" I ask, pointing to the layout that Buffy has created on the living room table and just below on the open space of floor. Giles stands up but I could hear his breathing when I entered the house. Dawn's upstairs in her room listening to some modern band of rock. I watch Giles as Buffy steps up next to me.
"I've been keeping up on demon research. Although Los Angeles doesn't have a Hellmouth, it still contains demonic activity so I want to try and stay on top of things when I can. Giles and Faith have been helping out here and there," Buffy explains, taking a step back as Giles approaches us wearing a smile. He envelops me in a hug, much to my annoyance but I flash Buffy a brief smile anyway. Giles lets go, taking a couple steps back, and looking me up and down.
"Buffy, could you make a cup of coffee?" Giles asks as Buffy looks at me, slightly admonished at not doing such an action immediately upon our entrance. She walks by me, heading towards the kitchen as I turn my attention to the patter of footsteps exiting a room on the right. Dawn appears around the corner, nearly taking the stairs two at a time before launching herself at me with a tight hug. She's wearing a very happy smile and I smile back in return.
"Willow! I've missed you so much and Buffy has too. Where's Kennedy?" Dawn asks, pulling away, and letting me stand without any more physical contact. I glance at Giles who also seems curious about her whereabouts. I remember the incident that drove us apart. I remember these people as my family. Not my biological family but near enough that they could be if I so wished.
"Kennedy met with me in the bedroom one night. She informed me that we were no longer working out. She was looking for somebody with more excitement and less baggage. She left for Antarctica the next morning," I reply. Dawn has a look of indignant anger while Giles looks surprised, and concerned for my well being. I can smell the coffee being brewed by Buffy. It smells good, hazelnut. My memories tell me I always opted for chocolate but I guess Buffy doesn't have any. I haven't tasted food or drink since the change and am unsure if my appearance will be seen as a result.
"That...hussy. She was never good enough for you anyway. Besides, she was always strict and bossy," Dawn exclaims with a huff in an effort to make me feel better I guess. I hurt then but I don't hurt now. I just smile at Dawn, nodding my head at her attempt. Giles looks unsure of what to say.
"Do you know who raised Tara?" I ask, directing it towards Giles. He glances at Buffy, probably wondering how I was informed of this event. "Buffy told me," I tell him, earning a sigh. Dawn grips my arm, staring at Giles in a mixture of delight and anger.
"Tara's alive? How come nobody let me know?" Dawn asks Giles. Giles glances between us both. Dawn lets go of my arm but keeps her gaze on Giles the whole time.
"Let's go into the kitchen," Giles orders, turning, and heading into the kitchen where Buffy looks up in surprise. I can see she heard everything though since she has Slayer hearing after all. I take a seat at the kitchen island with Dawn sitting on the chair next to me. The island countertop feels smooth beneath my touch as Giles leans against the counter just to his right of the sink. Buffy pulls the coffeemaker pot out of the machine, grabbing a coffee mug. She begins to pour as Giles talks, arms folding across his chest.
"The Watchers Council contacted me a few months ago, letting me know that they had been observing trouble lately around the Los Angeles area, slightly north of where we are. Since Amy Madison's time with you, Willow, the original Council had watched her however their destruction left a void that has been recently filled. The new Council had been having some trouble learning of her new whereabouts until about a half year ago. In the last couple months, I received news that Amy had recently been delving into the dark arts. Levels that you managed to escape the clutches from but Amy instead had gone further into," Giles informs us as Buffy places the cup of coffee in front of me. She stands behind me as I try to discreetly pull the collar of my black leather jacket over my neck to hide the bite marks from her.
"Delving further into, in what way?" I ask, just taking in the strong aroma of hazelnut wafting up from the coffee cup. Giles coughs a couple times, clearing his throat in the process.
"Amy had started out by going to local graveyards. At first, reports were coming in from family members saying that they had seen dead relatives walking around. The thing of it was that they weren't zombies. They behaved and acted exactly as they had when they were alive, no doubt leaving the family members in distress upon encountering them again. I also learned that Amy was learning to transport beings between dimensions. She would locate a demon to a specific dimension then transport them to our dimension. We fear that she may be building an army however we haven't been able to locate her in the past few days," Giles explains. I take a sip of the coffee, feeling the hot liquid drift over my tongue and down my throat with ease. It tastes bland to me and not as invigorating as blood. I glance at Dawn and Giles but neither has made any notice of me so I think I'm safe. I just look down at the cup, aware why my sire was here. I feel slight anger at Giles for not tracking Amy down first but I can't change what happened to me. I can only try and adapt.
"How does all that relate to Tara?" Dawn asks, resting her elbows on the countertop. Giles watches her and I can see that he's conflicted on how much he wants to let her know. I speak up before Giles can answer.
"We deserve to know everything, Giles," I state. Giles nods his head in resignation. He leans off the edge of the counter, standing a bit straighter now as Buffy steps up by my side. We share a glance. I can see her hand tense and she wants to grip my shoulder in comfort. I hope she doesn't, though. I've learned that I can do without the constant signs of physical affection.
"Tara was raised almost a week ago. A report was given to Andrew, personally. There was a sighting of a blonde, caked in dirt, wandering what was left of Sunnydale. Near as we can tell, there were some areas within Sunnydale that had managed to withstand the blast. The Council believes that some of the graveyards were under massive protection spells in the event that something of the magnitude occurred. She was asked to accompany the man but she refused, citing that she was coming to Los Angeles. They have reason to believe that she's tried to seek out Angel. Contacting him however has proven ineffective," Giles explains. Dawn looks away and I can hear the trembles in her breathing. She's saddened by this news.
"Dawn?" I ask, wondering why she is saddened when she sounded a little pleased just a while ago at the news that Tara was alive. She looks at me, tears brimming in her eyes. She turns to stare down at the countertop now, staying silent for a few moments.
"She's okay though, right? She isn't hurting or suffering?" she asks me. She's staring at me, wanting an answer to make her fears disappear. I don't know what to say to make her fears go away though, without lying to her. I don't know the answer to her question. Memories don't employ feelings for a vampire. They simply just give us a map of the past.
"She'll be fine, Dawn. I'm sure Angel will make sure she's safe," Buffy answers for me. Dawn nods her head in acceptance but she's still filled with worry. She slides off her chair, running out of the kitchen, and up the stairs. The door slams. I can hear the sobbing even from behind the closed door. Her heart aches for Tara. Mine doesn't though. My heart can't even beat anymore. I glance at Buffy who's taken the seat next to me where Dawn had been sitting.
"We have to visit Wolfram and Hart. It's the only way we can make sure that Tara's safe," Buffy states, glancing at me for approval. I had heard of Wolfram and Hart in the past. It was supposedly this big law firm for evil demons. Angel had reportedly taken it over last year but I can't remember ever visiting the building before.
"Are we sure she's even there though? I don't want to create any unnecessary strife in our visit," Giles says, staring at Buffy. He's referring to the failed love relationship between Buffy and Angel. They both hurt whenever they come into contact with one another. It's almost enough to make me roll my eyes and tell them they'll never be together and to get over it.
"We need to check it out, Giles. Just for peace of mind and what if Tara is there?" I ask in return. I don't have any feelings towards Tara, just memories but I can remember how much I must have loved her to do what I did. I know enough that I do want to see her again if possible. Not out of any feelings but to see if she really lives up to the memories. Giles stares at me as I calmly stare back, refusing to give in at a chance of missing out on seeing Tara again.
"Very well. We'll drive over tomorrow night seeing as how that might be most suitable for Angel. If you'll both excuse me, I think I'll be heading home," Giles says, nodding towards Buffy and I. Buffy smiles as I give Giles a small wave. Giles walks past us, grabbing his jacket off the coat rack, and exiting Buffy's home. Buffy sighs, glancing at me.
"I could use a place to sleep too," I admit, glancing over my shoulder towards the stairs. Buffy winces, apparently forgetting why I came here in the first place.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Willow. We're changing my old room into an office space a lot like Giles' at the old Sunnydale High library. I figure I can store all the demon research and texts there to help keep myself organized in that department. I could...uh...grab some pillows and blankets for the couch," Buffy says in nervousness. I give her a soft smile and shake my head. She looks at me, somewhat confused.
"Would it be okay if I slept in your room? I could sleep on the floor or something but I'd prefer having company," I whisper, unsure if Buffy will grant my request. Buffy blushes a little but nods her head, a little too enthusiastically for my comfort.
"Okay, absolutely. You can leave your suitcase in the living room. I'll fetch a pillow and some blankets for you," Buffy says, rising from her chair. I rise from mine as well, picking up the suitcase from the floor. Buffy turns, heading out of the kitchen. She pauses, glancing back at me. I turn to her, expecting for her to say something, but she just gives me a quick smile, and heads down the corridor to the stairs. I carry the suitcase into the living room, trying to avoid the numerous folders in my path. I set the suitcase down and glance at the stairway. I walk towards the staircase and head up quietly. I approach Buffy's door and open it. Buffy whirls around, wearing only cotton pajama bottoms. She pulls the matching pajama top on instantly, blushing furiously. I lower my eyes towards the makeshift bed and pillow she's set up for me.
"Didn't mean to intrude," I apologize. I glance up as she shakes her head, blush slowly fading. She glances at her bed, then back at me.
"Don't worry about it. Let's just get some sleep," Buffy says in a rapid-fire manner. I nod my head and lay myself down on top of the two-blanket bed. Buffy just keeps staring at me though. I stare back at her, slightly confused.
"What?" I ask, not sure what the issue seems to be.
"Nothing," she stammers back at me, quickly climbing into her bed. I just look at her, knowing somehow that she's lying. I don't bother to press on the matter though. She turns the lamp by her bed off, leaving us in darkness. After several minutes, I can hear the steady stream of her breathing alter to sleep. I just lie there awake, wondering what'll happen tomorrow at Wolfram and Hart.