Leaving Her
by Salix
The New Town
[reviews]
It had been a week. A whole week since they moved away. It was Emily's first day of school along with Buffy's first day at work. She wasn't able to get a very good job. She worked as a cashier at the local grocery store. She had an interview next week at the really nice Inn they stayed in last night. She's never been an assistant manager before, but the requirements that were listed were pretty basic, and she has all of them. She thought that the job would be pretty easy. She would just do what someone told her to do, do the things that they didn't want to do themselves, simple stuff really. Probably a lot of paper work or computer work. She can handle that.
She was already starting to like this small town. Everyone here was friendly. Very strange but nice. Everything was in walking distance which was good. They'd be able to get to the places they'd be going to most: the diner, the post office, the bank, Emily's school and the grocery store, in about ten minutes. She was glad for that because she really needed to save her money instead of spending it on gas for the car. She also really needed that other job. It would pay so much more then this one, and she really wanted to get their rent and utilities paid without having to use the money she has saved in the bank.
She was bored out of her mind already. Being in a small town there weren't very many costumers, which meant that wasn't a lot to do. She helped the teenage boy she worked with put some things on the shelves, and had a nice conversation with him. He explained to her the basics of the town. There was one woman who owned the little theater school who was the town gossiper. The guy who owned the diner was nice enough but protective of the people he's close with and he doesn't really like to be involved in conversation.
According to the boy there was one other single mom in the town. She sounded pretty insane but according to him she was really nice. He just so happens to be dating her daughter. Buffy thought that she might make friends with that woman, she sounds fun. From what the boy had told her all of the other parents in the town can be pretty snobby. She really didn't want to put up with snobbery, at least not until she had to. She also wanted to keep her sexuality a secret for now until she knew the opinions of the town's people. She didn't want to become an outcast her first week here.
At around three Emily came barging into the store. She seemed a little mad, and like she was about to punch something. She was really rude to the boy when he tried to be nice to her and Buffy had to drag her outside before she daughter decided to take her anger out on him. She tried to rub Emily's arms, to get her to calm down but she wouldn't let Buffy touch her. She must really be mad because the brunette is usually a very affectionate person, always touching in some simple way.
"Alright, just calm down and explain what happened?" she said and tried to tuck a lock of stray hair behind Emily's ear but she pulled back. Her fists where clenching and unclenching and she felt like she needed to scream really bad. Everything had been going wrong for her ever since they got here. Because she wanted to go back home she had been negative about this little town and rude to everyone she came into contact with. She didn't like the people at the Inn, or the people at the diner, or the other kids at school. She hated it all and she wanted to go back to California.
"The kids at that school are just so...so...Argh! I can't even think of a word bad enough to describe them! Annoying would be one. They just wouldn't leave me alone. And the teachers kept on asking if there was anything wrong or anything I wanted to talk about, and that moving to a new town can be a scary and stressful thing and that soon I should adjust. One went as far as asking if I hurt myself! I hate it here, I want to go back to California!" she screamed for all to hear. Across the street two people entering the diner looked over for a few seconds but as soon as Buffy looked their way they scurried into the restaurant. Before she could say anything Emily was already walking away in the direction of the Inn.
'What am I going to do with her?' Buffy thought as rubbed her forehead with her right hand. She needed something to eat and a nice cold soda didn't sound bad either. She went back into the store and took off her smock and put it behind the counter. She told the boy that she was taking her lunch break and she would be across the street if he needed any help. She walked into the little diner and sat at the counter. She order a hamburger with everything and a large coke, then she went and sat at one of the tables while she waited for her food.
She wondered for the millionth time that day how Willow was doing. What she was doing, if she was still staying the house or not, if she had found a different job, if she were trying to track them down. Buffy hadn't told her where she was going, saying that she would call when they got there. She still hasn't called, she wanted to put that off but she knows that she'll have to do it sometime soon. As much as she wants to just cut herself off from the redhead they have a daughter, and Buffy isn't going to deny Willow at least a weekly phone call. She moved all the way across the country to get away from her so visiting isn't really an option unless Willow wants to fly all the way out here.
She thanked the rugged looking man when he put the plate and glass in front of her on the table. She glanced around the little place before picking up her lunch and taking the first bite. She had to admit that the food here was great. Not as good as Reggie's but still great. She looked over at the two women who had witnessed Emily's little freak out. Both brunette, both good looking, one of them a teenager so she didn't really look at her much, but the older one who Buffy assumed was an older sister, was really good looking. 'Nope, stop thinking it, it's too soon, even for comfort sex,' she thought and continued to eat.
She didn't get off of work until seven, and she was tired from pure boredom. She unlocked the door to her room. She flopped down on the bed that she was currently sharing with the teen girl, she couldn't afford to rent a room with two beds. She looked over at her daughter, she was sitting at the little desk, working on her homework. She still seemed upset which was normal and expected. Buffy really wanted to cheer her up though, but she wasn't sure what she should do. She was about to say something but Emily beat her to it.
"You should let me call her, let her know that we made it here ok. Does she even know where we are or did you want to keep it a secret?" she asked, she sounded upset, and Buffy could tell that she had been crying. She hasn't cried in front of her parents since she was eleven. Buffy knew that it was her pride that forced her to do that, to cry in secrecy or in front of Nikki. Buffy had clue how the teen was going to cope without the other girl. They were like sisters, best friends, practically joined at the hip. She hadn't even thought about that when she packed up their stuff and left.
"Well, I read the sign downstairs and dinner is severed at seven-thirty which is in ten minutes so why don't you do that afterwards? And if you want we can go get some ice cream from that little diner. We could walk around a bit, explore the town. We've been too busy to really do that. It could be fun. You can flirt with the local boys, maybe even get asked out on a date," she said, teasing just a little. To her knowledge her daughter hasn't had a boyfriend yet. She'd asked her about it a few months ago and she was told that dating was overrated. She suspected that there had been a guy who had wormed him way into her daughter but she ignored it, wanting to be naive about it.
"I think I just want to call her and then go to bed. I'm not really hungry right now, and I'm tired. Too much stress today, kinda wore me out," she said and turned off the little table lamp. Buffy was going to protest and say that she had to eat something but they could always order from the kitchen later on. So she went downstairs and ate dinner by herself while Emily talked to Willow. She really didn't want to be there for the conversation, mostly because she didn't want to talk to Willow.
She understood that they would have to talk to each other sooner or later, but it's just too soon. They've only been gone for two weeks and Buffy isn't sure she'd be able to handle it. If she heard how bad Willow was doing then she might give in to the urge to go home and get back together with her. It was a very strong feeling but she knew that if she did she would just get heartbroken again because all that Willow has been for the last two years is work and broken promises.
Promises that they would have a better future, that soon everything would be fine again, that she wouldn't be working as much. She had promised to always be there for her family, to take care of them, she had promised to be a better wife and mother but those were broken too and the reasons why Buffy had left. She just couldn't believe her anymore, and the fighting had been way too hard to handle. So now, here she was, eating dinner alone in a lovely Inn on a Wednesday night, trying as hard as she can to not think about her ex.
She took the desert upstairs, thinking that maybe her teenager would want some chocolate, the ultimate comfort food for a Summers girl. She had been gone for half an hour and when she opened the door she saw Emily sitting on the bed, still on the phone, trying her hardest not to cry. The sight was heartbreaking to see, and Buffy wished that she had stayed downstairs just a little while longer. She put the plate on the desk and started to change for bed. She tried not to listen in on the conversation (her slayer hearing allowed her to hear what Willow was saying) but it was hard. Both girls were upset, Willow was bawling her eyes out and Emily was trying not to break down.
"It sucks here. I miss Sunnydale. I miss you. I want to go back so bad but mom needs me. You understand that, right?" Emily asked and Buffy listened is suspense for Willow's answer. She heard the redhead take a deep breath to try and calm herself down and then the watery response came.
"Yeah, sweetheart, I understand. Listen, Emily, please try to at least halfway like it. You're going to be there for a while and I don't want you to be miserable the entire time. Try to make friends and go out and have fun. I know you're hurting and I know you miss me, but please don't shut down. Will you at least try, for me?" she asked and Emily took a deep ragged breath. Buffy sat down behind her, wrapped her legs on either side of Emily's and wrapping her arms around the younger girl's stomach. She rested her head on Emily's shoulder, knowing that she was in need of physical contact.
"I'll try. But it really does suck here. It's so small, there's nothing to do. We found an apartment but we have to stay at an Inn until we buy new beds and stuff. What the hell is the difference between and Inn and a hotel?" she asked sarcastically. Buffy heard Willow say something about charm but it was too muffled by tears and sobs to really understand all of it. After forty-five minutes of talking the two finally said their goodbyes, exchanged 'I love you's' and hung up the phone.
As soon as the line was disconnected Emily broke down. She started to sob harder then she's ever sobbed before. Buffy lifted them up and pulled back the covers and laid Emily down before crawling under them. She flipped off the little lamp on the nightstand and held her daughter while she cried for the first time since they left Sunnydale. She cooed her and tried to shush away the tears but nothing seemed to calm her down so Buffy just let her cry. They finally fell asleep at around eleven, both of them exhausted.
They were both quiet the next morning. Emily was embarrassed because of her breakdown last night, and Buffy didn't know what to say. She'd never seen her daughter like that, but she was glad that she was starting to grieve, and get it out of her system. The road ahead of them was not going to be an easy one but they would get through it together, as long as they stayed close.
Emily changed into her usual baggy pants, tight t-shirt, studded bracelet and then put on a lot of eyeliner and mascara. The dark eye make-up really brought out her eyes and the baggy pants made her look thinner then she already, and the tight shirt made her breasts look bigger, which was the point for wearing it. She put her hair up in a very sloppy bung and then grabbed her bag before giving Buffy a kiss on the cheek and ran off the school. If she ran as fast as she can, which is pretty fast, then she might only be ten minutes late.
Buffy decided that she had waited long enough. She needed to talk to Willow. She picked up the phone and glanced over at the clock before dialing the numbers. She knew that this phone bill was going to be astronomical but she didn't care, she needed to do this, she needed some form of closure. It rang seven times before it was finally answered by a very sleepy Willow.
"Hello?" Buffy heard her ask, her voice gravely from sleep. "Who is this? Do you have any idea what time it is?" Buffy was surprised that she was still sleepy. Willow was always up and out of bed by seven in the morning, it's almost eight now. She shook her head, thinking that maybe the redhead was just wallowing, depressed because her family had left her.
"Yeah, it's seven fifty-five. What are you still doing in bed Will, don't you have a lot of work that needs to be done?" she asked with venom in her voice. And they're off to a very bad start. She just couldn't help but be mean, she had been hurt too badly to be nice right now. She heard shuffling on the other end of the line, probably Willow sitting up or something.
"Buffy? Is it really you?" she asked. Then the tears came. "God, Buffy please, please, please come back. Things will be so much better, I promise, baby. I'm looking for a new job, one that isn't so demanding of my time, and I'm taking some parenting classes out at the college on the weekends, and I swear if you come back I'll be the best damn wife ever. Please Buffy, please come back. I need you, I need Emily. I can't live without you two." Buffy had to fight to keep her composure. Willow sounded so sad, so hurt. Buffy had to remind herself that Willow was the one who had hurt her. She had made all of those promises before but always ending up breaking them.
"Sorry, Will, I can't. I've heard all of that before. Listen, I was just calling to see how you were doing, and to let you know where we are. Did Emily tell you last night?" she asked. She would rather her daughter hadn't told because she wanted to have this conversation, she wanted to be the one to tell Willow that they were all the way on the East coast now. But Buffy thought that Willow probably already knew that. She probably took the number from the Caller I.D. and put it into the computer and figured out where it had come from.
"No she didn't tell me, but it's an East coast number, I know that. Where are you? Why did you move that far? I won't be able to see her now. I won't be able to see you. Please come back. At least move somewhere closer, like L.A. Please don't keep me away from our daughter." She was begging and it sounded pathetic to Buffy. She knew that Willow had a right to be mad about not seeing their daughter, but she had no right in wanting to see Buffy. They weren't together anymore so there would be no seeing each other of any kind.
"I can't Willow. I need to be away from you right now, far, far away. I need to clear my head, I need to move on and I can't do that if we live driving distance away. Look, winter break is going to be coming up soon, in about a month, and if you want you can fly out here and spend Christmas with Emily. As mad as I am at you I don't want her to be away from you on Christmas, it wouldn't be fair for her. But I just can't go back to Sunnydale, I don't know when I'll be able to go back, probably not ever. I'm sorry but that's just the way it is," she said trying to keep calm, and it was working. This conversation was going a lot better then she thought it would. She had imagined that their first few phone calls would consist of Buffy screaming, Willow yelling for forgiveness and then Buffy hanging up on her. So this is a lot better then what she had thought they were going to be talking about.
"I-I can do that. I will do that. But Buffy, will you please give me another chance? I'm going to do so much better, baby. I swear I'll do anything if you just come home. Please come home, I need you so much. It hurts. It hurts so bad having you gone. Please just come home, come back to me." She didn't know how much more pleading she would be able to take. This was a lot harder then she thought it was going to be. She wanted to get on a plane and rush back to Willow, to make the sobs stop, to kiss the tears away, but she couldn't. She had to stay as far away from Willow as possible to eliminate the urge, that's why she chose to move so far away.
"I'm sorry Willow, but I can't do that. We're over now. You're just going to have to accept that. I'll see you around Christmas. Goodbye Willow," she said and then she waited for a goodbye but all she got was desperate begging, more pleas for her to return, more promises that would no doubt be broken. So she gently hung up the phone. She had the day off today, so she didn't think about anything else but the pain when she laid back down on the bed and cried herself back to sleep.