Leaving Her
by Salix
Taking Off
[reviews]
Emily walked through the halls of Stars Hollow High feeling great. Her parents were finally back together again. It was everything she's ever wanted since moving to this tiny town. She had to admit that she did like this place better then Sunnydale. She could walk around at night without the danger of a vampire or a demon attacking her. She'd made some friends other then just Rory, but most of the kids stayed away from her. She'd been quiet for all of those months and because of it she has this reputation as the silent, mysterious beauty that no one can figure out, and people don't mess with her.
Things in her love life have been doing a lot better too. It seemed like ever since she had Mike split she couldn't meet anybody. And her being upset all of the time and under a lot of stress didn't help either. The guy that she had taken home that one night after she had taken off for almost three days was some guy she had met at a party. She was only using him to make her mom mad, but now that she's over all of the anger and the other bad feelings she's ready to get out there and meet someone.
As she walked into her classroom she couldn't help but smile when she saw a certain someone already sitting in the seat in front of hers. She made sure to make the smile go away as quickly as possible. She has a reputation to uphold after all. She sat through the boring history class, trying her best to pay attention to what the teacher was talking about, but she just couldn't. Her mind kept wondering and thinking very naughty thoughts about a certain dark haired boy sitting right in front of her. She blushed when she realized what she had been thinking, and the details of her imagination, and how turned one she was getting from it. Yep, this was going to be a problem.
When school finally let out she walked the short distance back to her house. She tried to get all thoughts of the boy out of her mind as she walked up the steps because she knew her redheaded mom would be home and it would be very embarrassing to get caught taking matters into her own hand. Last time she got caught her blonde mom teased her about it for a week. She rolled her eyes as she thought about that. Moms can be so...so...Argh!
She opened the door and was greeted by her little cat. She dropped her backpack on the ground by the door and picked up the kitten. She talked some baby talk to it and petted her as she pushed the door closed with her foot and then sat down on the couch. She could hear movement in her moms' bedroom and figured that the redhead was cleaning. She decided that she would wait a couple of more minutes before making her presence known. Instead she just sat back and let the feeling of her mother's magic wash over her. The feeling of safety and comfort that she always gets when the redhead is around. Then she heard footsteps walking down the hall and towards the living room.
"Who's is this?" Willow asked and held up a shirt. A shirt that Emily thought looked a little familiar but she's never seen her blonde mom wear it. And Willow has obviously never worn it because she's questioning about it now. It was button up, with a purple and some light pink. 'The kind of shirt someone might go to a club in on a date!' Emily thought, screamed in her mind when she remembered her mom telling her that Tara had left in one of her oversized t-shirts because they couldn't find hers.
"Um, it's Mom's. You found it in the bedroom, right? Who's else would it be?" she asked but she didn't look at Willow when she said it. A dead giveaway, and the redhead knew that the teen was lying. Emily stayed quiet, because if she opened her mouth try and say something she would just dig herself in deeper and she knew it. She looked down at the little kitten and watched as she jumped off of her lap and then ran across the room to attack Buffy's cat and the two started to play fight, Emily's kitten winning every time. 'Definitely lives up to her name,' she thought.
"Yeah, ok, this is your Mom's, right. In what world does your mom wear a medium? And you know she doesn't like this shade of purple," Willow said, bringing her logic and reason onto the table. Emily had a couple of options but they weren't too good. She hated it when she was dealt the bad hand, she also hates how she mentally thinks of every situation as a poker game.
But her options were: tell Willow about Tara and possible cause a fight between her parents, lie to Willow some more and have tension grow between them, or tell a half truth, say that Buffy did bring someone home but that nothing happened because she was still up and Buffy was too embarrassed to drag the other woman off to her bedroom with her kid watching from the living room. 'Yeah right, in what world would that happen?' she asked herself.
"Uh, she bought it for when she cleans. 'Cause you know how lazy we are, and this place would get so dusty and she didn't want one of her good shirts to get all dirty, so she just bought that one because it's ugly and so she doesn't really care about it," she said but they could both hear the uncertainty in her voice. She watched as her mom to a deep breath and sat down in the chair that's up against the wall, not far from the couch.
"Look, if she brought someone home, I'm...well, not really ok with it, but I don't really have any right being mad because we were split up at the time. Judging by how dirty this is it looks like it's been behind the headboard for a while now. Just tell me, did you meet her? What was she like?" she asked and every single red flag in Emily's mind started to wave, telling her to just run, get away from the conversation at any cost. But her mouth betrayed her mind and she found herself telling half truths so her mom wouldn't be hurt. If Willow found out it was Tara that Buffy had been with she would probably be very upset. Tara was always a sore spot with Willow, as well as Angel, but Emily doesn't really know the entire story about the vampire.
"Well, she was nice. Not that I liked her or anything," she quickly added. "I mean the next morning I was pretty mean to her, ya know, told her that no matter what she does I'll never be nice and I'll never consider her Mom's girlfriend-" Very, very bad thing to say.
"She dated her? For how long?" Willow asked, and Emily went wide eyed. She just couldn't say the right things at all. She could almost feel her mom becoming more and more insecure with herself. Apparently in high school there was this girl named Cordelia who had done a number on the redhead and the damage to her self esteem has as lasting effects. But Emily doesn't really know the whole story, her parents are very secretive about what they were like in high school and what had happened to them.
"No! No, they never dated, well once, just one date. Mom met her at the Inn, I think, and then they went out and then they came back here. And like I said I was really mean to her, just in case they did start dating, 'cause I didn't want her to think that she had any authority over me. And, well, Mom and I sort of got in a fight and then I took off and...well I don't really know what happened to the woman. Mom doesn't like to talk about it. Well, I guess I'll be going now, got lots of homework that isn't going to do itself," she said and stood up, wanting to make an escape from this very awkward conversation but before she could get to her backpack and then walk off down the hall, Willow was standing in front of her, blocking her way.
"Why did you take off? What happened?" she asked and Emily looked down at her shoes. She doesn't like to think about it, and hasn't talked about it since that night. She retold it to Lorelai and Rory, well some of it, but ever since then she hasn't talked about it with anyone, and she tries really hard not to think about it. She can still feel her mom's hand slap against her cheek, and the stinging pain it caused, not mention that feeling of betrayal.
"Nothing. I was just mad because she brought that woman home and we were fighting and we both said stupid things and I just took off. It wasn't just because of that. Other things were going on at the time, and I was always pissed off and that just sort of set me off I guess," she said and then instantly regretted it, because not only was Willow going to bother her about it, but she was going to bring it up in front of Buffy and then the blonde would be bothering her about it. Before Willow could ask her any more questions she pushed her way passed the redhead and ran into her room. She closed the door and then quickly slid the dresser in front of it.
She flopped down on her bed, the sheets and blankets rumpled because she never makes it. She ignored her mom's pleas for her to come out of the room and to unlock the door. She didn't want to talk about it, with anyone, especially her parents. To confess the things that she's done, well, that just wasn't an option. She wasn't going to tell anyone. It was her business no one else's. She turned on her stereo to try and drown out the sounds. The pain was still there, along with the scars that would never go away. It was overwhelming, this guilty and remorseful feeling because of what she had done. She found herself walking over to the closet and popping a couple more of those pills.
When she woke up it was dark and she could hear her mothers talking on the other side of her door. As quietly as she could she stood up and crept over to the window. Some of her old habits started to come washing back as she opened the window and climbed down the fire escape. She wasn't too sure where she was going but she needed time to clear her head. She needed to get far away from the apartment, out of Stars Hollow. She just had to get away or else these feelings could drive her insane. So, she started to walk down the road. She wasn't even sure which direction she was going, but it was better then being trapped in this little town.
She started to think back on the last couple of months. After the disaster that was her relationship with Mike was over she had felt so alone. She never talked about her feelings with her mom, because she just doesn't talk about her feelings, she's not programed that way she supposes. She was in so much pain and her mom didn't even know. They lived in the same apartment together, they talked every day and her mom never caught on that something was wrong.
She could literally feel when she finally walked past the invisible fence that separates Stars Hollow from the rest of the world. Something to do with magic, she knows that. She remembers her blonde mom talking about it one day, saying something about there being no evil in the town and that maybe there was some type of mystical repellant or something. Well whatever it is it's certainly gone now because Emily doesn't feel very safe anymore. But she just kept walking, she didn't want to go home yet, she just wanted to walk until her legs were sore and she had to sit down. Then she would turn around and go home.
Walking, it's like her therapy. When she's upset about something she'll just walk and walk for hours, not really paying attention to her surroundings as she thinks about whatever is bothering her. She thinking about it and then feeling the pull of her muscles as she puts one foot in front of the other and then repeats the motion over and over really does help. It helps calm her down, gets her to look at things logically. 'So, what should I think about first?' she asked herself and then laughed sarcastically to herself. 'Why not the Mike thing?'
Things had been going good in the beginning of the relationship. They both liked each other, they were both happy that they were together, but even from the beginning there was this sexual tension between them. Like their bodies thought they were perfect for each other and should just start making babies now. They had only been dating a couple of weeks when they starting having sex. Emily always felt weird about it. Not before or during, but afterwards. Being around him after he had seen a vulnerable side to her, after he had taken her, it was strange, and it put a strain on their relationship.
So she bailed. She dumped him, but being in a small town like this it's really hard to avoid someone, and they found themselves alone together very often. In the school gym after class, they had both been assigned to put away the P.E. equipment for getting into trouble during gym class. They were in the back room putting everything away for five minutes and they were up against the wall, making with the naughty. Things only went downhill from there.
He was constantly bothering her because he wanted to get back together but she kept telling him no. And even though she didn't want to be with him emotionally she just couldn't stay away. She had snuck out of her room a couple of times to climb the tree that's by his bedroom window. She would sneak in at night because he never keeps his window locked, and then would wake him up and then they would be together again. Afterwards he would ask her to go out with him again and she would tell him no and then leave. Finally he called it off, and started dating someone else. She had laughed to herself at the time, finally a guy who actually wants a relationship and not just sex.
After Mike stopped paying attention to her she had to move on somehow. She started going to parties that were outside of Stars Hollow. She met some very interesting people there, until she found what she was looking for. A vampire, a male vampire that she built this sort of trust system with. Everywhere she went outside of the Hollow she carried a stake, and she would meet him at a prearranged meeting spot and she would allow him to feed from her, after they had sex of course, and as long as he didn't take too much or bite her in a spot that someone would be able to see she wouldn't stake him. Her mother being the most infamous slayer of all time also helped with the him not killing her thing.
She took a look around, acknowledging her surroundings for the first time. She noticed that she was in a park, and sighed very loudly. She sat down on a bench. She knew she'd been walking for a long time, the muscles in her legs were burning. She just sat there, in complete silence, not wanting to ruin it. She thought she heard a footstep but she ignored it. Probably just her being paranoid. She sighed again, and wondered how long she was going to be grounded when she goes home. That was the last thought on her mind before she felt a pain in her head and then everything went black.