Leaving Her
by Salix
But It Isn't Possilbe!
[reviews]
I'm warning you now that this chapter will probably upset some of you. It's a sad one and go ahead and yell at me all you want because it will get better in later chapters. Everything will be explained and there will be a happy ending. Remember, I didn't lable this under Drama for nothing. With that said, enjoy your update:
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(Two and a half months later)
Buffy was running late for work, again. They didn't even have time to run to Luke's for breakfast. And she was very hungry this morning. Last night she had stayed up pretty late with Willow, enjoying some late night activities that will cause post-morning hungriness. She sighed and slipped on her shoes. She was keeping it casual today. Lorelai had said something about taking a group of guests out on a nature hick to give them a good lay of the land at the Inn. The only problem is the guy who used to give the nature trail tours quit a couple of weeks ago and Lorelai had no clue who was going to lead the group. It was either going to be Buffy or the concierge Michel. She hoped that it would be her, and she wanted to volunteer, but Lorelai said that she was going to decide.
"Mom!" she heard Emily scream out. God that kid just doesn't know when to quit does she? She didn't have time to reply before Emily's voice was ringing out again, much to Buffy's displeasure. She was late, the last thing she needed to be doing at the moment was help her daughter sew on a button or something. "Mom's getting sick again! I keep tell her to go to the doctor but she won't listen!" Buffy rolled her eyes. Willow's been getting sick a lot lately, which is really weird because the redhead has a great immune system. She hardly ever gets sick, and when she does it's really bad. But this isn't a bad flu or cold, this is just a stomach thing. Buffy threw her hair into a ponytail and made her way into the bathroom.
They left Sunnydale rather quickly, deciding it would be best to stay in Stars Hollow until Emily graduates. They're still living in Buffy's apartment because she really didn't want to have to drive half and hour each morning to get to work since Willow's larger, nicer apartment was in Hartford. But they had decided together that they would stay in the Hollow because everything was a lot closer and they all liked the tiny town better. They've all been doing great. Emily is doing tons better and they're finally over everything that she had done. Willow and Buffy's relationship could not be any tighter and the two are even thinking about going on a second honeymoon for their wedding anniversary that's coming up in a couple of months.
"Willow, baby, are you ok?" she asked and knelt down next to her wife. She held the mane of red hair back as Willow heaved up the last of her breakfast. Buffy took that as a 'what the fuck do you think?' and she started to rub Willow's back. "I think Emily's right, we should get you in to the doctor." Willow shook her had no as she reached up and flushed the toilet. She hates going to the doctor. She always thinks that they're going to give her a shot, even if it is just a simple check up. Willow's hatred for shots is almost as bad as her fear of frogs. "Baby, you've been getting sick like this for about a month now, you aren't getting any better. Please, I'll take today off and we can get you into the clinic. They're not going to give you a shot unless they absolutely have to. I won't let anyone hurt you, I promise." She stood up off of the floor and ran some cool water over a washcloth and rung it out. She sat back down on the floor and started to dab at the back of Willow's neck with the cold cloth.
"Ok, but only if you go with me, and you have to promise to use your slayer strength if they try to give me a shot. You know I hate needles," Willow said and leaned against her wife's touch, finding it soothing. Buffy chuckled a little and told the redhead that she promises to put people who are only trying to help in the hospital if they try to give her a shot. So Buffy called in sick saying that she had to go to the doctor, not a complete lie, and when she told Michel that she could almost hear his face turn red with anger because now he would absolutely have to lead the nature group no matter what he said to Lorelai. Buffy helped Willow get dressed after the phone call. The redhead has been very tired lately, even though she's been sleeping like a rock, and they're little sexcapade last night isn't really helping any.
Buffy sat down in the blue plastic chair in the doctor's office. She was back in the examining room with Willow. The redhead refused to go back alone, and even though they got some strange looks from the nurse she allowed the blonde to accompany the redhead. Buffy was flipping through a People magazine while Willow sat up on the examining table. She was looking around the room, trying to keep her mind busy while she swung her feet in a circular motion. Buffy smiled at the sight as she glanced up from her magazine. Willow looked about as adorable as a five-year-old sitting up there, putting on a brave face as she awaited her fait. She almost had a panic attack on the car ride over, claiming that they were going to give her a shot no matter what Buffy did to try and stop them. It took Buffy fifteen minutes to calm her down.
Buffy sat the magazine aside and Willow stopped her moving when the doctor walked into the room. He was tall, six foot two, maybe six foot three. He had light brown hair that was nicely cut. He had soft brown eyes that were behind thin wire rimmed glasses. And some freckles were scattered across the bridge of his nose. Buffy eyed him up and down, using her slayer senses to get a good read on him. He wasn't evil as far as she could tell, but she really didn't like the idea of this good-looking guy pawing at her wife. Ok, so he wouldn't be pawing, he would checking her heart, and looking in her ears and stuff like that, but he would still be touching her and sitting really close to her. Closer then he would normally be allowed to sit if he were just a regular guy. But no, he's a doctor so he automatically gets special privileges. 'Calm the fuck down, you're the one that wanted her to come here,' she thought to herself and sat up straight in the chair.
"Hello, I'm Doctor Roberts. And you must be Willow," he said, reading off of a page from the manila folder. She nervously said hi and shook his hand. She introduced Buffy as her wife, and Buffy puffed out her chest a little trying to make herself look bigger. Willow gave her a very disapproving look. There was no reason for Buffy to be jealous of the doctor. He was here to check out her health, not check her out as in 'I wanna have sex with you'. Besides, Willow would never cheat on Buffy especially with a guy. "It says here you've been experiencing some vomiting, how long has that been going on?" He went straight from casual to business and Buffy had to admire him for it. At least he was being professional about it and not trying to picture the two women naked together. When they introduce themselves as wives and men figure out that they're lesbians they'll get this far away look in their eyes like they're trying to imagine what it would be like to share a bed with the two.
"Um, a little over a month, maybe a month and half," she told him and he jotted down a little note. She was nervous, that much was obvious. Buffy stood up and walked over to her side. She took her by the hand and started to rub the back of it with her thumb, silently telling her that everything was going to be fine and she has nothing to be afraid of. But that wasn't really the case going on inside of Buffy's head. She was freaking out in there. She was worried that maybe Willow has something serious, something that they can't fix by killing a demon or stopping an apocalypse. She's trying to keep her mind off of negative things, but with the way her mother died she can't help but worry and think that maybe Willow has some type of cancer or maybe even a tumor.
"Any fatigue, dizziness, frequent urination?" he asked and Willow was a little taken a back by the question. She nodded her head and gave him a 'yes to all three' and he jotted down some more notes. Buffy couldn't help but start to show physical signs of her panicking. Her leg was starting to shake, her foot was lightly tapping on the ground and it was Willow's turn to play the reassurer. She held onto Buffy's hand in between both of hers and rubbed the soft skin with her thumbs. "When was your last menstrual cycle?" Willow let out a nervous laugh and ran one of her hands through her hair.
"Jeez you're starting off with the personal questions. Um, I haven't really been keeping track. Uh, a couple of months ago now that I think about it. But I've been under a lot of stress. Well at least I was at the time so I probably just missed it because of that. You don't think I'm going through menopause do you?" He looked back down at her chart and then back up at her, he shook his head no and then started to explain.
"No, I don't. It could be possible, but you're a little young to be going through that. I would like to take a blood sample and a pregnancy test just to rule it out," he informed her and Willow immediately got very defensive. There was no need for a pregnancy test. She's only had sex with Buffy. The blonde is her first and only and even though she sometimes wonders what it would be like to sleep with a guy just out of curiosity she's never actually done it.
"Uh no. I don't need a pregnancy test. I've haven't had sex with anyone but my wife," she said her tone stern and he sighed at the way she was acting. He put the chart down along with the pen and he leaned up against the counter opposite the examining table and he put his hands in pant's pockets. He looked over at Buffy for a fraction of a second, she too was in a very defensive posture, and then he looked Willow in the eyes.
"I understand what you're saying, but I would like to get one taken just to rule it out. Once we get the blood drawn and the test taken and pregnancy ruled out then we can go from there and see what's causing your symptoms but until we do we'll be stuck at square one. Talk it over, I'll be right back." He left the room, leaving the two women alone. Willow was pissed off, how dare he not believe her? She can't be pregnant because she's only ever been with Buffy and the last she checked you don't get pregnant from sleeping with another woman. 'Holy shit I just repeated something Faith said and I agree. Maybe I need to get my head checked,' she thought to herself as she looked over at Buffy. The blonde was less defensive and she was looking up at Willow with the little innocent face that she gets right before she tries to convince her to do something.
"Willow, don't you think you should just get the test taken? I know you've only been with me, you have nothing to prove, but he's right, until we rule out the obvious we won't be able to find out what's really going on. Please, baby, for me?" she asked and did the one thing that Willow can very rarely say no to: the Buffy pout. Willow sighed and agreed and they silently waited for the doctor to come back in. He was accompanied by a nurse. A cute Hispanic nurse who was wielding a hypodermic needle, and a rubber tie. Willow instantly tensed up and she grabbed onto Buffy's arm very tightly.
"No, no shots. I agreed to come here under the condition that there would be no shots. Buffy you said there wouldn't be any shots," she was panicked. It was not only clear in her voice but by the way she was trying to push Buffy out in front of her to protect her from the nurse. Buffy stood right where she was, using her slayer strength against Willow. She looked over at her, sympathy in her eyes.
"It's not a shot, baby. They're not injecting anything into you, they're just taking some stuff out. It'll be over really quick, I promise." She held Willow close to her, the redhead buried her face in Buffy's shoulder and she held out her arm for the nurse. She felt the strange woman tie the little rubber tie around her arm and gently tap on her forearm to make the vein appear a little quicker. As soon as she felt the needle touch her arm Willow bit down hard on the base of Buffy's neck. On the outside the blonde appeared calm and cool, and she gently rubbed the back of her wife's head and whispered nonsense into her ear but on the inside she was yelling and screaming and doing her best to keep it on the inside. 'Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! SON OF BITCH!!!!' Yep, she was in pain, there was no denying it.
After the very painful experience Willow was escorted to the bathroom where she had to pee in a cup. She thought that it was humiliating but she told Buffy that she would go through with it just to rule out a pregnancy. She waited very nervously and a little impatiently in the examining room while they waited for the results to come back. The doctor had explained that the blood was going to go to the labs and there they would test it for any abnormalities, and once the test came back they'd do the whole 'listen to your heart, check your ears and blood pressure' thing. That's the part that Buffy didn't like because he would be so close to Willow. He came back into the room, however, looking a little grim. Apparently there was something wrong, and it was making Willow way more nervous then before.
"We did six tests just to be sure, three more then normal because of your case ('case' being the fact that she's gay) and five out of six of the tests were positive." He looked into Willow's confused eyes and didn't dare look over at Buffy. This is the part about the job that he hates the most: confirming affairs. There's nothing more painful then seeing an unsuspecting spouse find out that their lover is cheating on them. He could only imagine what Buffy is feeling right now, and it's nothing but very bad feelings. Willow, however, was still playing innocent.
"Positive like positive that I'm not pregnant, because it's impossible. There's no way that I'm pregnant. It isn't medically possible. I'm not, I can't be," she was near hysterics at this point and there was nothing he could do but sit back and watch. "Buffy, you have to believe me. I can't be pregnant. I would never do that to you, not after I just got you back............Please, Buffy say something." She had tears rolling down her cheeks and Buffy wouldn't even look at her. Her gaze was focused on a little spot on the floor. Her lips were a tight thin line, and she was barely breathing. When she finally looked up, it wasn't at her wife, it was at the doctor who looked sympathetic and possibly even a little angry. Looks like he's suffered the heartache of infidelity as well.
"Thank you Dr. Roberts, we'll be going now," was all she said in a calm neutral tone. She walked over to the blue plastic chair and picked up her purse and jacket. She picked up Willow's jacket as well and handed it to her on her way to the door. She sill wouldn't look at her and it was starting to really freak Willow out. She hadn't cheated, the tests were wrong. They just had to be wrong. She ignored everything the doctor was saying about staying calm and avoiding stress because she could have a miscarriage as she ran out the door after Buffy who was already in the car, the engine running as she waited for Willow.
The car ride was filled with more talk of the tests being wrong and that Willow hadn't cheated and that she would never cheat. There were also a lot of pleas for Buffy to talk, but the blonde wouldn't say anything and she was concentrating on keeping her focus on the road and her anger under control. She pulled up to the curb in front of their apartment building and she kept the engine running. She didn't look over at Willow, instead focusing on her hands as she spoke.
"I'm going into work, when I get back all of your shit had better be packed and out of my house. I'll reserve you a room at the Inn and you're damn well gonna use it. Get out," there was so much anger and hatred seeping out of her throat, it was scary to hear. Willow had never heard Buffy sound like this, not ever. But she didn't move. There were tears still falling freely from her eyes. She turned in her seat so she could face the blonde, but Buffy refused to look over at her.
"Buffy you have to believe me, I would never ever cheat on you. There has to be something wrong, there has to be. Please listen to me, baby. I would never cheat on you." Buffy shut off the engine and ripped the keys out of the ignition. She threw off her seatbelt and opened up the door saying that she'll just walk to work. She got out of the car and slammed the door closed so hard that the glass shattered and the door was bent in half facing in towards the passenger side of the car. Willow got out and tried to follow Buffy, but the blonde would have none of it and she used all of her slayer speed to run away from the redhead who was calling out to her, begging for her to come back. She even went as far as walking to Buffy's work, but Buffy wasn't there and Lorelai had no idea where she was. Willow walked all over the town looking for her, but she was nowhere. It was like she had completely disappeared. So she went back to the apartment to wait for her, knowing that she would be back sooner or later.
She was lying on their bed, her head was buried in Buffy's pillow and she was inhaling the scent of her blonde beauty as she cried. She would never cheat on Buffy, why didn't she believe her? There had to be some other explanation for the tests coming back as positive, there just has to be. She sniffled loudly and sat up when she heard the front door open. She thought that maybe Buffy had come back from wherever she had gone and she ran out into the living room, only to find Emily home from school.
As soon as the teen saw her mother she became very worried. She instantly thought the worst after seeing the car downstairs and she thought that maybe Buffy had gotten into some type of car accident and was killed. Willow reassured her that Buffy was fine and would be home soon. She didn't go into any further detail as to why she was so upset. Instead she told Emily that she would talk about it with her later, after she talks with Buffy.
Three maybe even four minutes after Emily walked in the door Buffy slammed the door open so hard that the doorknob stuck in the wall and all of the windows in the living room shook. Both Emily and Willow were scared. They'd never seen Buffy like this, they've never seen her so angry before and Willow was afraid that she was going to be physically hurt by her wife. That's the first time she's even been afraid of her like that and it isn't a pleasant feeling at all. She watched as Buffy walked closer to them, and grabbed Emily by the upper arm and pulled her back away from Willow. She stepped out in front of their daughter so that she was in between her and Willow.
"Stay the fuck away from her, and get the fuck out of my house! I told you to have all of your shit packed!" she screamed and she stomped off towards the bedroom. Willow and Emily were right behind her and they were both asking her tons of questions as she pulled a suit case out of the closet and started to pack it with some of Willow's clothing. She ignored the questions, ignored Willow's tears and ignored Emily's confused and hurtful expression as she walked back out into the living room and threw the suitcase outside onto the balcony. "I'll pack up the rest and have it sent to the Inn, now get the fuck out!"
Willow stood her ground and told her that she wasn't going to leave, that they were going to work this out but Buffy would have none of it. She grabbed Willow by the upper arms and walked her over to the door, making sure not to hurt her even though she was beyond pissed at this point, and she pushed her out the door, making sure that it was a gentle shove and she wouldn't be hurt, which she wasn't. Willow turned around and looked into Buffy's fire filled eyes, her own green ones still full of tears.
"Don't you ever come back here, ever," she said, her voice full of venom, and then she slammed the door in Willow's face and locked the deadbolt. She left Willow standing out there, pounding on the front door, telling her to unlock it and let her back in. But she didn't, and she stopped Emily from opening it, telling her that Willow is no longer a part of their lives and Emily is to never see her again no matter what. Emily was too afraid at this point to go against what she was saying and she simply went to her room, crying because her moms are splitting up again and they won't even tell her why. Buffy went into her own bedroom.
She needed to kill something so badly she thought she was going to implode. She laid down on her bed and she started to cry. The sobs worked their way through her body and she was uncontrollably shaking as she listened to the hysteric sounds of her wife begging her to let her back in. But she refused. She had taken Willow back knowing that she would probably be hurt again, knowing that the redhead would just trample her heart again and she had been right. She wanted so badly to be wrong, but she was right. There would be no taking her back this time. What Willow had done was unforgivable, and she wasn't sure if she would be able to get over her this time or not. She felt like she was dying as she cried herself to sleep, the only thought on her mind was the million-dollar question: who's the father?