Leaving Her
by Salix
Going Home
[reviews]
I know I haven't updated this story in a little over a year, but I got inspired to finish it. There's only going to be two maybe three new chapters, but at least it will be finished, right? Well, I hope you enjoy the new chapter and I'll try to update again as soon as possible.
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Faith was still on strict orders, as Xander called it, by Buffy that nothing bad was to happen to Willow or the baby or the brunette slayer would meet a very unhappy end. Buffy hadn't gone to see Willow in the two weeks that he redhead was on bed rest like everyone thought she would. She didn't want Willow to see her so sick and gross looking. She stayed in her apartment until she started to look a little better, and put some weight back on. It only took a week for that to happen, apparently her slayer healing was working overtime. By the middle of the second week she was doing some light exercises to get her muscles toned again. And it only took a few days. She still wasn't as healthy as she would have liked to be but she wasn't expecting to come along this far so she's happy.
They still haven't talked to Giles about the necklace. Apparently there's some type of situation over in London that he has to deal with and he won't be back for another month or so. But at least they have a little information on it. They know the name, and if Willow were allowed to get out of bed for more then ten minutes at a time she would be researching it right now. But she isn't going to put her baby at risk just to satisfy her curiosity. Right now she knows all that she needs to know. She knows that the baby is Buffy's, that it's a being of good, and that everything will work itself out now. She knew that they were going to have to have a very long talk though, because apparently there were some trust issues on Buffy's part. She just kicked Willow out like that, didn't listen to a thing she had to say. Ok, right away when first learning then news and then reacting badly, Willow can understand that. But ignoring her for an entire month? That just isn't right. Willow deserves more then that because she's never given Buffy a reason not to believe her about something like this.
And the day finally came. Buffy checked herself out in the mirror in her bedroom, trying to decide if she looked good enough. She was wearing a nice white blouse with little embroidery flowers near the hem, and some brand new jeans that she knew she'd only be able to wear for a while because once she was back at full health they'd be too small. Her hair was down, but it was a lot shorter then it had been for the last couple of years. Instead of re-dyeing it she decided to cut off all of the imitation blonde and just go with her natural brown hair color. She had to admit that the color looked good. The cut was just at her shoulders, too short for her taste but it would be longer by the end of the week. Slayer hair grows very fast, drives her insane sometimes.
"Ok. I can do this. I can go there and apologize for being the biggest bitch in the universe, well besides Glory, and hopefully she'll forgive me and take me back. I wonder how she's doing. Is she starting to show yet? Faith said that she is a little bit but still. God, why did I have to cut my hair so short?" It's ok to talk to yourself when you're alone. At least that's what she tells herself. She started to run her fingers through her hair, willing it to grow out, and she nearly jumped out of her skin at the sound of the very unexpected voice.
"'Cause you got tired of being dumb," came the sarcastic remark. Buffy whipped around to see Faith standing in the doorway of her bedroom. 'How the hell did she get in?' she thought and she glared at her before turning back to the mirror. Faith can say all of the remarks that she wants. She can tell all of her jokes, and make light of this situation, but it isn't going to help Buffy calm down at all.
"What are you God now or something?" she asked and heard Faith's little snicker. She rolled her eyes and continued to fuss over her clothes and hair. Faith stepped into the room and walked up behind her. She studied Buffy's appearance in the mirror and then walked over to the jewelry box on the dresser and started to go through it.
"Not quite, but pretty damn close. You're gonna do fine. Just remember that she's still at risk for a miscarriage, so don't start a fight. And don't say that you don't pick fights. I know how you like to start shit. She's just as nervous as you, but she's trying to play it cool. She's a little pissed so I'd be careful. Way she was tellin it, sounds like that baby has some type of magic or somethin 'cause she's been havin some kinda cravings to cast spells and shit. It's weird, her eyes will flicker from normal to white and then back to normal. I'd back off if you see that happen. She turned the table lamp into a little glass box because she couldn't reach to turn it off, and she didn't mean to do it." She picked up one of the necklaces and walked over to Buffy. She put the necklace around Buffy's neck and then did the clasp and then looked at the now brunette in the mirror. She smiled a little. "There, now you're perfect. Go get her, Tiger." Buffy rolled her eyes at the nickname and then left the apartment. When she talked to Faith earlier on the phone she asked her if she would stay at the apartment so Emily wouldn't be alone.
"I'm seventeen years old, I don't need a baby-sitter," Emily complained as she sat down on the couch. Her mom had been gone since one that afternoon, according to Faith. Emily had been at Rory's, needing to get out of the apartment for a while. She hasn't really had any time to talk with the other girl since her moms split up. She was always too busy with school and work and making sure her mom was ok. She had held in all of her feelings because she needed to be strong, she didn't have time for anger or pain. But now that things were starting to get back to normal she found that she needed to talk about it before she did something stupid, and Rory was the first person who came to mind. She knew that if she talked about it with one of her moms they would feel guilty or interrupt her. She needed an outside party to talk to or else she wouldn't have been able to explain her feelings in the right way, she would have had to hold back.
"Tough. It's not like there's nothing else I'd rather be doin then sitting here with a kid who isn't even old enough to vote or buy a lotto ticket. You can't even run to the store to get me a pack a cigarettes." Faith wasn't happy about this at all, but she had told Buffy she would do this and do it with a smile. But the older slayer wasn't here, so she was going to do all of the grumbling she wanted.
"Like I would. I don't want everyone to think I'm a smoker just 'cause you need one. We have a gallon of Rocky Road ice cream if that'll help." Faith jumped up and ran into the kitchen. She was starting to get all twitchy, it's been too long since her last cigarette, and she knew that if Buffy didn't get home soon she'd either have to leave the apartment to go get some smokes and take the kid with her and she knew that the teenager would complain the entire time, or she could just kill Emily. She thought that maybe the second one would be less painful for her. "You could at least put it in a bowl." Faith was eating straight out of the container with a large spoon, nope, no bowls for her. It'll be too much effort to keep going into the kitchen and scooping out more ever five minutes or so. This way is easier.
"Whatever. Why don't you put in a movie or something? No romantic comedy bullshit, either action or horror." Emily rolled her eyes and stood up from the couch. She opened up the little cabinet at the bottom of the entertainment center and started to go through the movies. They didn't have a lot of action or horror stuff because her mom is one of the toughest people to watch a movie with, at least one that has fighting or supernatural stuff. Whenever something happens that she knows isn't possible or seems too fake she'll tell you about it, even if you don't want to hear it. So they have a lot of drama, and comedy and romance stuff.
"Sorry, we don't have any horror or action, you'll just have to deal with a comedy," she said and pulled out her favorite movie ever. She popped it into the DVD player and turned on the television. She flipped off the light and then sat down on the couch again. "Prepare yourself for the best comedy movie in the entire world." Faith rolled her eyes at the melodrama and waited for the movie to play. She raised an eyebrow at the title of the flick and couldn't help but question.
"Harold and Kumar go to White Castle?" Emily looked over at her, nothing but a serious expression on her face. She started to shake her head a little bit and then looked over at the T.V. and watched as the dean of admissions for some college dropped a hot cup of coffee in his lap.
"This is the best film in the world, if you don't like it you might as well kill yourself." And she was serious when she said it, not joking at all, which only made her appear even crazier then she really is. (I agree with her, it's the best movie ever, if you don't like it: kill yourself.) They watched the movie in almost complete silence. They were both laughing at the funny parts, and Faith had to admit that it was a kind of funny movie. She probably would have thought it was hilarious if she were still a teenager. The movie was almost half way over when there was a knock on the front door. Emily went to get up but Faith was in guardian mode so she motioned for the girl to stay down and answered the door. Standing before her was a girl a little bit taller then her, dark hair that went passed her shoulders, there was a faint smell of alcohol and she was crying. Faith didn't say anything, she knew who this girl was, everyone in the town did after all, and the brunette slayer walked over to the couch and sat back down and watched as Emily led the upset Rory into her bedroom to figure out what the hell happened that upset the girl this much.
Rory sat down on Emily's bed and sobbed through the story of what happened to her. How she went to that house party to support Lane and the band, how Jess had been in a horrible mood the entire time, and how she bumped into Dean and his girlfriend. Emily sat and watched the whole time, being quiet and letting the other girl just let it all out. It was upsetting to hear. Mostly because it's so heartbreaking to hear Rory cry like that, and how confused she was by Jess' behavior. Emily didn't understand it either and she didn't want to. She just wanted to calm Rory down. But it seemed like the other girl was too far out of reach. She left the room for a few seconds to go into the bathroom and take on of the rolls of toilet paper. She brought it back to her room and handed it to Rory. The other girl thanked her and Emily sat down on the bed and silently cringed as Rory blew her nose very loudly.
"And I don't want to go home. I don't want to tell my mom what happened just so she can say 'I told you so'. She knew something like this might happen. She knows that guys like Jess don't want to wait for very long. I just didn't want to believe her, I thought he was different. I thought he really cared about me. I'm doing everything I thought I was supposed to, but I'm just not ready for that. I thought he'd understand." And she broke down again. Emily couldn't stand it anymore. She leaned across the bed and wrapped her arms around the other girl. She kept her tears at bay as Rory cried on her shoulder, asking Emily what she did wrong, and Emily knew at the time that none of it was Rory's fault, but she was sure that the girl was only saying it because she was so upset, that deep down she doesn't really believe it was all her fault. Maybe going into the bedroom with Jess was a bad idea, but she isn't responsible for his actions.
(Earlier that night)
Buffy stood in front of Willow's apartment door. She needed to do this, she knew, but it was so hard. She thought that it would be really easy. She thought that she'd show up, bust down the door and sweep Willow off of her feet. But what if Willow didn't want her back? What if she's so pissed off at what Buffy did that she tells the blonde to get the hell out and never come back? That's what Buffy was thinking and it was the thing holding her back. She was a bitch and she wants to beat the crap out of herself for just abandoning Willow like that, but she really doesn't think that she'd be able to take rejection, not now. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door. She was a little surprised when Xander opened the door. He smiled a little and enveloped her in a big hug. She hugged him back and without a word he escorted her to the bedroom where Willow was lying down, watching T.V. and eating chocolate chip cookies and she was gently rubbing the bulge in her belly.
"I thought you said eating in bed was strictly forbidden?" she asked lightly trying to keep the mood away from being tense. But she knew that there was going to be tension no matter what she did and she was right. Willow looked up from the T.V. and she froze. She wasn't expecting Buffy to come here tonight, but here she was, standing in the doorway, looking like a skeleton. "Mind if I come in?" She was timid, she didn't want to push Willow or cause her any unneeded stress. Now that she knows that baby is hers the last thing she wants is harm to come to it. She watched as Willow shook her head no and then put the package of cookies on the nightstand and then turned off the T.V. She turned to Xander and smiled a small smile and then walked into the room and closed the door. She sat down at the foot of the bed, not too sure how to start.
"Faith said you know about the baby, that's why you're here?" Buffy wasn't sure how to answer that. Willow didn't sound mad, her voice was pretty neutral and it was creeping Buffy out. Pissed she could deal with, depressed or sad she could handle, not as well as pissed but she could still handle it. But this mask, this unknowing type thing she can't figure out how to deal with. She doesn't know what Willow's feeling so she doesn't really know how to answer her. Honesty would be best she supposes.
"Mostly." There was a pause as she gathered her thoughts. There was more that she wanted to say she just didn't really know how to say it. She's never been one with words, remember the quips in her freshman year at college? Horrible. "I know it's a little late but I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry for what I did to you. Even if the baby wasn't mine I should never have done that. To just kick you out while you're pregnant...I feel like the most horrible person on earth. You should hate me for the rest of our lives. But please, Willow, please take me back. Forgive me for what I did. Please don't keep me away from our baby." She had tears running down her face and Willow was getting upset as well. She thought about what Buffy said, every word, and it was at least five minutes before she finally replied.
"You're right, I should hate you. I understand why you got pissed off, why you stormed out of the doctor's office and why you kicked me out, because it was a shock and the news was so new, but to not give me the benefit of the doubt, to not sit down and talk to me about it, especially with the way we live our lives. You're a vampire slayer, and I'm the world's most powerful witch, I resurrected a town, and you've saved the world....I've lost count, but a bunch of times. I don't see how us conceiving a child is just so far fetched. I hate that you ignored me, and that you let yourself fall into an abyss. You completely ignored Emily, she had to get a job just to pay your bills, and she wouldn't let me help out. I have so many reasons to hate you, but I don't. I love you too much. I couldn't hate you even if I wanted to." Tears started to spill out of Buffy's eyes and she threw her arms around Willow and broke down right there in the arms of her lover. She couldn't help it, she was just so overwhelmed by everything. Willow wrapped her arms around the sobbing woman, tears falling from her own eyes as she rubbed Buffy's back and tried to get her to calm down.
Fifteen minutes later both of them had stopped crying. They were sitting in silence, Buffy's head resting on Willow's chest and Willow's arms were wrapped about Buffy, her hands resting on the ex-blonde's shoulder blades. Buffy looked down and stared and Willow's stomach for a while. She wasn't sure how long it was until the temptation was too much to handle. She gently pulled out of Willow's arms and scooted down on the bed so that her chin was resting on top of Willow's thigh. She slowly reached out and pulled up Willow's shirt far enough so she could see the redhead's stomach. She smiled at the little pudge sticking out. She gently stroked the warm flesh with her fingertips. She looked up when she heard Willow take the quick intake of breath. She saw the look of desire burning in her lover's eyes. She sat up on the bed and leaned towards Willow, their mouths mere inches apart.
"Is this ok? I mean, it isn't too soon? And I won't hurt the baby will I?" Willow smiled at her concern but closed the distance between them. The kiss started out soft and gentle but it quickly grew in passion and it wasn't long before Willow was lying down on the bed with Buffy lying half on top of her and kissing her way down the redhead's neck. But something about this just wasn't right, not in the redhead's mind. Something was off, and it didn't take her long to figure it out. She wasn't home. This apartment was just her place, but it would never be her home. She doesn't want this here. She tensed up and Buffy felt it. She pulled back and looked at Willow with worried eyes. "What's wrong? Did I hurt you? Should we stop?" Willow smiled to calm Buffy's nerves and started to run her fingers through the shoulder length brown hair.
"You weren't hurting me. It's just....could we just go home tonight? I don't want to be here anymore. This isn't my home, ya know? It's just the place I ran to when I had nowhere else to go." That wasn't meant to hurt Buffy or try to make her feel bad but it did. She almost started crying again but she was able to keep her tears back. She leaned in and gave Willow a smoldering kiss on the lips and playfully nipped at her kiss swollen bottom lip before pulling away. "So, do you wanna help me pack now or let it wait for tomorrow?" Buffy thought about it for a couple of minutes and then silently got up off of the bed and went over to the large walk in closet and pulled Willow's suit cases off of the shelf. She put the large bag down on the bed and started to fill it up with Willow's clothes. She smiled to herself and then turned back to her wife.
"You just stay in bed. You don't have to do a thing. Starting from right now I'm going to pamper you, and tend to your every need. You don't even need to get out of bed, well, except to use the bathroom and shower. But I can help with the showering part." She smiled a devilish smile and Willow got a chill up her back. Maybe they should just stay here for tonight? No, she wants to get home and badly. "And tomorrow and I'm going to Luke's and ordering everything that you like, and you'll work from the apartment. We'll have to see about getting a bigger one because we're going to need another bedroom." Willow smiled as she listened to Buffy ramble on and on about what they were going to be doing. What things they were going to buy, what colors the nursery should be, how they will pamper and spoil this little baby rotten.
It didn't take long for them to return to Stars Hollow. Neither of them could stop talking the entire ride home and the closer they got the bigger Willow's smile became. Thinking about all of the things they were going to do again made her smiles even brighter. Waking up together was definitely Willow's favorite. For an entire month she woke up alone in a cold bed, and every morning she would cry at the empty feeling. But there was going to be no more of that because they're together again.
"I know you're not fragile and you can take care of yourself, but don't worry about unloading the car. I'll have Faith help me. I'm going to treat you better then a princess from now on." Willow looked over at her and gave her a strange look. 'I don't want her to treat me like that. I want things to go back to normal. Well, I guess things aren't going to be normal from now on,' she thinks and gently rubs her stomach. "Are you ok? Are you feeling nauseous, do you need me to pull over for a few minutes?" The redhead couldn't help but chuckle at the way her wife was acting.
"No, I was just thinking. It's a little hard to believe this is really happening. I'm going to have your baby," her voice was very light and she sounded very happy at that moment. The blonde took her eyes off the road for just a second to look over at her wife. They exchanged a loving glance and Buffy gave Willow a little kiss on the back of her hand. The redhead couldn't help but roll her eyes at the cheesiness of it all. "You're such a hopeless romantic." She giggled, actually giggled like a school girl, at the little mock irritated look that gave her. "Aw baby, don't be like that. I was just playing. You know I love you, and your cheesiness."
"I love you too," Buffy said and gave the redhead's hand one last kiss before she looked back to the road. The rest of the drive was quiet as both got lost in their own thoughts. Neither of them could really believe it was happening. Willow was pregnant with their child, and they were finally back together and actually happy. Everything was going perfect and the blonde couldn't help but have a bad feeling about it. After all it seemed like whenever she was at her happiest that's when something would come along and royally fuck it all up. 'I guess I'll just have to enjoy this while it lasts.'