Starting Line
by Rin
3
[reviews]
Buffy tried dating other people but she saw the hurt look on Willow's face when she mentioned it the first time. She went out with Owen only that once, and whenever she would attempt another date with another person (usually boys, since the girl on girl lovin' wasn't as big in Sunnydale as it was in Los Angeles), she would say she was hanging out with somebody. Even that hurt Willow but it was better than straight out saying, 'oh, I'm dating, trying to get you off my mind, since you won't give me the time of day.' Okay, so Buffy was bitter at Xander for being a pig-headed, egotistical guy, who knew not why the blonde would have angry bursts at him.
Recently, a college guy named Angel had asked her out again, and she'd agreed to the second date. He was handsome, charming, mysterious, older...everything Willow wasn't, so it was easy not to think about her with him. They wound up making out but it was nothing compared to the tingle from that brief kiss with Willow. However, the redhead didn't know anything about Angel yet, and she was about to find out if Buffy didn't get Angel out of the Bronze fast. It was their fifth date now, and she was really starting to like him. Willow deserved to know, though. Angel was her boyfriend.
"Come on. I want you to meet my friends..." Buffy pulled Angel along with her, holding his hand the entire time. When they got to Xander and Willow, the blonde kept the tight grip she had on her 'boyfriend's' hand.
"Hey..." Willow's brow scrunched in confusion and hurt, as it was obvious Buffy was staking her claim on this tall guy with her.
"Hey, gang. This is my boyfriend, Angel. Angel, this is the gang. Xander and Willow." Buffy watched Willow's eyes, and saw how hurt she was but it was no surprise that she was about to cry. She didn't even know Buffy was seeing anybody.
"Nice to meet you, Angel." Willow bit her bottom lip, and attempted to be polite, no matter how hard it was to see them together. "Um...hate to be a spoilsport but I need to finish some homework."
"We're on break, Wills..." Buffy didn't get to finish her comment, as the redhead breezed past the couple.
"You know, Willow. Loves her schoolwork." Xander just eyed them with curiosity. He didn't like this guy one bit. Something was off about him. "How long have you two been dating? I didn't even know you were seeing anybody..."
"About a month now. I would've said something but I didn't want to hurt anybody's feelings." Buffy sent sympathetic eyes to Xander, though her intentions were more for Willow.
"...and of course not telling us wouldn't hurt our feelings." Xander watched Angel hold out the chair for Buffy like a gentleman. "How old are you, Angel? You've got to be at least 200 years older than Buffy."
"Well..." Angel was about to beat this little asshole to an early grave. He wasn't very polite, and he hadn't done a thing. It was Buffy who decided not to tell her friends about him.
"It's okay." Buffy placed a comforting hand on Angel's arm to keep him from biting. "Angel IS older, Xander. You're right. He's in college."
"How did you meet? Willow looked surprised, too. I figured you would've at least told her something...being best friends and all." Xander was getting angrier by the minute. Sure, he had secret rendezvous with Cordelia Chase, his sworn enemy, in the janitor's closet every day at school but that didn't mean just anybody could keep a secret like this. He knew Willow would flip a lid if she knew about Cordy but they didn't even know Angel until tonight.
"It was new." Buffy didn't have to explain. "We were just leaving. We'll see you in school." When they left the Bronze, Buffy was beyond pissed, so she just asked Angel to take her home. After he left, she went inside, and tried to sleep. After four hours of staring at the ceiling, the blonde decided that she couldn't let things fester. She had to talk to Willow but the redhead's phone line was busy, which meant she was online, which meant she was still awake. That was why Buffy snuck onto the roof, climbed down the tree, and walked the few blocks to the redhead's house at 1 in the morning.
"Who is it?" Willow panicked when there was a knock at her terrace door. Her parents were away again, and she was just a defenseless girl alone in a house.
"It's me..." Buffy sighed, afraid she'd be denied access to the house but was surprised to see the door open slightly, and Willow peek her head out. "Hey..."
"Hello." Willow clutched the door, afraid of what she might say or do if Buffy came inside the room. "Did you need something?"
"I couldn't sleep." Buffy turned pleading eyes to Willow to just let her in, that it was freezing outside. It was already December, and their holiday break had just started.
"Why didn't you just call your boyfriend?" Willow didn't mean to sound so venomous but it was hard. "Sorry...I didn't mean..."
"That's okay. I deserved it. Can I come in before my toes freeze off, though?" Buffy bounced a little to emphasize her point. Willow, being the ever-concerned friend, sighed before opening her door completely. "Thanks."
"You couldn't sleep, so you decided to come wake me up?" It was obvious from the lights and computer screen that the redhead hadn't been in bed but Buffy just smirked, and chose not to comment.
"Well...I wanted to talk...about tonight. I should've told you I was seeing somebody, and I didn't plan on you meeting like that. Angel's a great guy." Buffy wasn't sure if she was trying to convince herself, or Willow. "I'm sorry I never told you. It wasn't fair to you...to us..."
"There never was an 'us,' Buffy. You're free to date whomever you want. Don't let me stop you from that." Willow closed down all her computer programs before giving the modem a good night's sleep.
"Still, I should have told you." Buffy sat down on Willow's bed, and removed her slippers, getting comfortable. "I wanted to tell you but I was afraid that I wouldn't be able...that I wouldn't be able to continue dating him if I saw how hurt you were. I can't cling to the sliver of hope that you'll change your mind when it's obvious you won't."
"Buffy..." Willow was starting to get a headache. Too many emotions were running wild in her head. She'd never been jealous like this before, and it was draining her. "Please, just..."
"I can't stop thinking about you, Wills. I try, and I've tried to date other people, tried to get over this thing with you...but I can't. You feel it, too. I can tell." Buffy watched Willow wrap her arms around herself. "Oh, Willow...please don't shut me out?"
"How can I not? I'm not allowed to have feelings for you." Willow was about to cry again. She'd just stopped a few hours ago, too.
"Of course you're allowed to...nobody can stop the heart from feeling these things." Buffy stood up, and walked over to pull Willow's arms away from herself. "I don't want you to stop..."
"Oh but you're allowed to?" Willow closed her eyes. "Sorry..."
"Again, I deserve it...but Angel? I'm with him to try to get you out of my mind...he's everything you aren't."
"Geez, thanks..." Willow really was about to cry now.
"No...I didn't mean it like that. I meant that I thought by going for somebody that's the complete opposite of you, I'd at least think about somebody else for a change. It didn't work, though. You're still all I think about...the only person I really wanna be with...Angel's just another step on my staircase to you." Buffy cupped Willow's cheek to wipe the falling tear. "Don't cry...please? I...I love you, Willow. Only you, don't you see that?"
"He still got to kiss you before me...and no telling how many other boys and girls before him...I don't like the staircase. There are too many steps, and some I don't know about..." Willow squeezed her eyelids tight, in an attempt to stop crying. "This isn't fair..."
"I know. I'm sorry, Wills. I'll...I'll break up with Angel. I'm so sorry." Buffy was suddenly attacked by small arms clutching her in a bear hug. "Oh...okay..."
"You don't have to do that...you're right. I...I shouldn't hold you back from living your life." Willow tried to switch into best friend mode. "You must like him a little to let him be your boyfriend. Don't let my..."
Buffy moved her head until their lips were touching briefly, stopping Willow's babble before it started. The blonde couldn't take it anymore. The redhead was driving her insane with all these crazy feelings, and Angel was nothing but a big mistake, an attempt to make Willow jealous...and it worked too well.
"Hey! Trying NOT to do that here!" Willow pushed Buffy away after she realized what was happening.
"Sorry, Wills." Buffy was gasping from the brief, intense kiss. It wasn't two seconds later that Willow kissed her back. Soon, it was hard to tell who was who as they started to fight for dominance of the kiss. This only turned Buffy on more, as she'd never seen the redhead so controlling. They were starting to lose all sense of self-control, and Buffy finally managed to stop the redhead from going in for another kiss. "Wait...Wills...Willow..."
"Huh?" The redhead looked so fazed and flushed. Her cheeks were red, lips swollen, and eyes dilated.
"I should go..." Buffy stood, afraid she's just attack the redhead, and their hormones would get the better of them. The blonde didn't want to lose her virginity like this. Sure, she wanted it to be Willow. She would always wait for Willow to be her first, even if she had to die a nun. It was a forever kind of attraction with the redhead, not just a fling, and she wanted them to be officially together and dating before they go to that point. If she stayed, her hormones would take control, though.
"Yeah...you really should." Willow walked the blonde to the door, somewhat ashamed at her actions. "I'm sorry I attacked you like that. It won't happen again. It was just a fluke. Must be the emotions running high tonight."
"It's okay. I liked it. You can attack me anytime." Buffy smiled warmly before leaning forward, and kissing Willow's cheek lightly. "Night, Will. We'll talk more tomorrow, after we've slept some."
"Right...like I'll be getting any sleep tonight." Willow murmured to herself, as she watched Buffy disappear around the corner of her house.