Starting Line
by Rin
8
[reviews]
Those last kisses had been so hot and steamy but they were just a fluke. It had happened before, and they both knew it would happen again if they didn't do something to prevent it. Living together wasn't helping but what choice did they have? They learned to avoid each other better, and with Xander back, that was a lot easier. He provided a distraction.
Willow and Buffy would alternate weekends; one would stay in the dorms on the weekend, while the other went to stay elsewhere, so that boredom of weekends and lack of distracting classes wouldn't tempt them. Xander didn't understand why they just didn't do the naughty mistress thing. It was obvious they were still hott for each other. Willow hardly even talked about Fred unless the girl was mentioned. She was always too busy trying not to stare at Buffy. Why string the poor girl along if it wasn't meant to be anyways?
When Xander started dating a local girl named Anya, that distraction that he provided was no longer there as much. If it was, then there was the added bonus of Anya, whom Willow decided she immediately didn't like, and Buffy was wary of from the get go. They had to find other distractions, like going out in public, or leaving the dorm room door open. Only one month passed since the last fluke, and it was getting harder and harder every day to not just hop in the other one's bed.
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"I have something for you." Fred handed Willow the book, and watched as her girlfriend smiled in adoration. "I know you're mad you couldn't make it to the book signing, so I snuck out of my lecture early to grab a copy for you."
"Why do you have to be so sweet?" Willow just smiled bigger before leaning over to place a kiss on Fred's lips. "Now I feel bad because I don't have anything for you."
"I'd say the kisses are fair play." Fred placed her hand on the top of Willow's thigh, as they continued kissing. When they heard the door open, they parted, only Willow jumped a little further than intended out of panic, knowing it was Buffy. Fred just chuckled at her girlfriend, as she tried to steady herself from the floor.
"Oh...hi." Buffy wasn't prepared to see Fred. The girl wasn't due in Sunnydale until next weekend. "I'll just be a minute. Let me grab my stuff."
"No, wait, Buff...it's okay. My parents are gone, so we'll stay there. It's...okay." Willow realized it was Buffy's weekend to stay in the dorms, so there was no need to kick her out. Then again, Fred didn't know about the arrangement, and had assumed they'd all be staying there. When the redhead told Fred about the non-relationship relationship she had with Buffy, she didn't tell her everything, such as the previous heated flukes, or the Xander giving the go-ahead.
"No, no...I can help Mom out. Not a problem." Buffy dropped her bag on the bed before going to her drawers.
"Buff...it's okay. We'll go." Willow stood from her bed, and Fred followed with a slightly confused frown covering her features. Then again, a big house with nobody but Willow sounded awfully appealing. "I have stuff there. Just have to grab my toiletries, and we're gone. Tell your mom we said hi."
With that, the couple left the room holding hands, Buffy staring at the closed door wishing it were a bad dream.
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Argh! Why couldn't she just let loose? What was her problem? All weekend...all sorts of botched attempts at sex, and on her part! Fred would initiate, and Willow would stop right when it started to get interesting. They were both frustrated, she could tell but Fred was patient, and willing to wait. That patience is what made Willow even more frustrated with herself. She wanted to do it with her girlfriend, so what was holding her back?
Buffy had done it with Angel. Couldn't she do it with Fred?
Was it deeper than just her feelings for Buffy? Was it something embedded in her that said sex was bad? Then, she had an image of Buffy naked, and she was willing to strip all clothes then and there.
Of course, that would be the moment when said blonde would walk in, and see Willow's labored breathing. Her automatic assumption was that Willow and Fred had finally done the deed, and gone all the way. Why else would Willow be so flushed and glowy?
"Hey, Wills. Big weekend?" Buffy pondered whether she really wanted to know. She immediately decided that she didn't, not really. It would only hurt worse.
"We just watched some movies, and slept. You? How's your mom?" Willow shook herself from her Buffy daydream upon seeing the real one in front of her.
"Okay. She's got a new show starting next weekend, so we were mostly prepping for that. She wants us to come over for dinner this week." Buffy hung up her jacket and backpack in the closet before kicking off her boots, and crashing on the bed.
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Dinner. A time honored tradition with families.
If it weren't for Joyce, it would've been too double-datey, which is a big reason Buffy and Willow opted to stop hanging with Xander when Anya was around.
Joyce was in the kitchen, finishing dinner, while Buffy and Willow waited for Xander and Anya to arrive. It was akward sitting on the couch, not knowing what to say, just staring at the blank television, trying not to notice how nice the other one looked. Trying not to notice how nice the other one smelled. How soft their skin looked...or the way the hairs curled at the end.
They both sighed in unison.
Giggling at the silliness of the situation, they relaxed slightly...before looking at each other. Another fluke...only this one was a little more riskier. Joyce was in the other room, and Xander and Anya were due any minute.
Their lips crashed together, hungry to taste every last breath they could gather. Hands wrapped in hair, arms cradled against backs and shoulders. Why were these fleeting kisses so amazing? Why were they so tender yet so passionate? There was always the need to tear at the other's clothes, while at the same time needing to strip each article away slowly to reveal a prize.
Lips swollen, breathing labored, mouths still clutching, Buffy and Willow broke apart in a panic when the doorbell rang. They landed on opposite ends of the couch, hair mussed, lips red and swollen, and eyes wide, their breaths starting to calm along with their heartbeats. It had happened again, and this time without warning or stormy booms.
Joyce went to answer the door, and noticed the two girls acting strange. She chuckled at the silliness of those two before ushering the other two in the house. Buffy and Willow both stood up too fast, and made their way to greet their friend.
"Xander, good to see you!" Buffy slapped the poor fellow on the back, and he jerked forward and 'oomphed' in response. "Oops...sorry, Xan."
"It's okay...but why the sudden happiness to see me...not that I'm complaining, mind you." Xander rubbed his shoulder to ease the pain. "I just saw you yesterday at lunch."
"I know...just...happy to see you, as per the norm." Buffy was overly cheery, and hoped it wasn't too obvious she was hiding her guilty face. Willow just sort of waved a shy wave from her spot on the other side of the room, well away from Buffy, and far away from those tempting lips. Oh, how they tasted perfect...
Joyce brought dinner to the table, and they started to sit. Buffy and Willow were pitted to sit beside each other, since it was obvious Anya would sit by nobody but Xander. So it was impossible to avoid sitting beside the other without being TOO obvious that they were trying to be avoidy.
Halfway through the dinner (which had been safe thus far), Buffy's foot accidentally connected with Willow's. They both panicked, eyes wide, before seeing that nobody noticed the sudden change in the air between them. Instead, the redhead starting to move her foot alongside the blonde's, as they proceeded to be flirty with their feet. Both swallowed hard, and not from the food. Hearts were pounding, and those brief, powerful kisses from earlier came back to the forefront of their minds.
Why was this getting harder?
When Xander dropped them back at their dorm, Willow saw the book Fred had given her lying on her desk. Her guilt built before she started to cry. Buffy was worried, though she knew the redhead was torn because what had happened had just hit her. She had to let her cry it out; it would be too tempting to fall into that same embrace if she tried to console her, and it would only lead to more guilt.
"Need anything?" Buffy thought it would be safer on her side of the room.
"For this to stop." Willow sounded so tortured through her sobs. "I'm not like this. This isn't who I am. I'm not the cheating type."
"I know that." Buffy had to ball her hands into fists to prevent herself from moving.
"Kinda hard to fathom, since you're right there with me." Willow hiccuped between her sobs before she collapsed on her bed, hugging her pillow. "Maybe we should've requested new room assignments. Maybe this is too hard."
"Don't think like that. We can beat this." Buffy quietly sat on her own bed, staring at her friend.
"Yeah, cause we're doing such a bang up job of that already." Willow sniffled, as her sobs starting to stifle. "Why is it so easy to fall into you, and so hard to let go with Fred?"
"Maybe...I don't know." Buffy bit her tongue. So, they hadn't done it? Why was she so happy to hear that news, when it was obvious her friend was upset?
"I love Fred, I do. I love her."
"You don't need to convince me." Buffy swallowed hard, and closed her eyes.
"I know...but it feels like I have to convince myself every time I'm around you." Willow sat up, clutching her pillow, the tears only falling slowly now. "If...if nobody had been there earlier, I probably would have just...and we would've...and there..."
"Hey...but they were. Nothing happened." Buffy knew it was the wrong thing to see when she saw the hurt look on the redhead's already glum face. "I mean...yeah, we...yeah...but..." She sighed, and took a deep breath. "I want to say it didn't mean anything; I really do...because it'd be so much easier, for both of us...but I can't when it's the only thing I can think about. I know we shouldn't...but when it does...when we do...kiss...it's like all these tiny fires burn and burn inside me, and I don't want them to extinguish because they feel right, like it's how I'm supposed to feel all the time but I don't until I kiss you...like you're the thing that makes me feel alive. I don't want it to be the case because it's obvious you're hurting, and you love Fred, and you want her but I can't help it. It never seems to go away."
"Oh, Buffy...what are we gonna do?" Willow closed her eyes, her brow furrowed in sadness, her frown hiding the reminiscent tingling from the memory of those magickal kisses from earlier.
"We'll figure something out. In the mean time, let's get some sleep. We can grab mochas tomorrow...around people...lots of people...and figure out how to fix this problem." Buffy couldn't look at the redhead anymore. It hurt too much to see the young woman in pain. Willow just blindly nodded, not entirely sure that it was a problem she wanted to fix.